


Life With Luca

by Enx2103



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Co-Parenting, Death, F/M, Family, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, LA Kings, Life with luca, Love, Memories, Miscarriage, NHL, Second Chances, They are just doing their best, diet smut, parenting is hard ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 103,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enx2103/pseuds/Enx2103
Summary: My take on what could (but will never) happen on Life With Luca, the Life with Derek spin-off.Derek's daughter Sky is type A. Casey's son Luca is type... Z? And against all odds, the universe decided to put Casey and Derek under one roof together again, co-parenting. (Dasey*)
Relationships: Casey McDonald & Derek Venturi, Casey McDonald/Derek Venturi, Casey McDonald/Original Character(s), Derek Venturi/Original Character(s)
Comments: 163
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

Derek was sitting on the back porch when he heard Casey come out and join him. He was exhausted. Mentally, physically, and even emotionally...exhausted. She offered him a glass filled with a familiar amber liquid. He didn't ask what was in it, he didn't need to. She knew exactly what he needed. She always did. Even after all those years. So he just mumbled 'thank's' and took it, grateful for the small distraction.

It had been a day... A week. He had flown in from LA with his daughter for spring break because she specifically asked to spend time with his family. Her only family. Living in LA made it hard for her to connect with her cousins: Ed's twin toddlers, Lizzie's newborn, and Casey's teenage son Luca. Sky managed to facetime with the family occasionally and every once in a while they would fly out to LA. But it just wasn't the same.

But this specific trip left Derek feeling defeated. He hadn't been back since before the death of Casey's husband Mike in September. He didn't come in for the funeral, not knowing what was appropriate. The thing is, he and Mike didn't get along. Or well, they did, sort of, but it was all smoke and mirrors for Casey's sake. They managed to come to an unspoken agreement of holding their tongues and avoiding each other at all costs. So when Mike passed, tragically on duty as a fireman, Derek wasn't sure what to do. It didn't feel right, attending the funeral of a man who you were at odds with. But Casey, Casey needed him... Or did she? He wasn't sure. And there was that line he never was very good with. So he sent some flowers, and his condolences and decided to stay in LA instead.

So seeing Casey, this different mourning version of her, was hard. Harder than what he expected. And her son, Luca… Well, to no one's surprise he was taking the loss of her father really bad. Making Casey's already hard life, a little bit harder. Acting out. Getting into fights. The works. It was giving Derek major flashbacks to his youth. And on this specific trip with Sky, Luca kicked it up tenfold. He was fighting with his cousin any and every time they were in the same room together. It was almost like he decided that Sky was the reason he lost his father and needed to be punished for it. When Derek tried to mediate, Sky glared at him like he just killed a puppy. He didn't understand it. He wondered if she was regretting her decision to spend spring break in Canada.

"You ok?" Casey asked softly, taking a seat next to him. She had her glass cupped in her hand but she made no move to drink it. It was more of an ornament in her small hands. The wedding band she still wore clicking gently against the glass rhythmically.

It was weird being back in their childhood home. It gave him a sense of nostalgia. Especially sitting back there with Casey. If he closed his eyes hard enough, he could almost hear her high pitched screams; "Der-ek!" Memories rippled through him like he was watching a movie montage. It was hard to keep all those thoughts at bay. Hard not to smile when they washed over him, making him feel warm and fuzzy for what was. But he ignored it all, pushing it away like a recovered addict trying his very best.

" _Dandy_ ," he replied dryly. The one word dripped sarcasm. He wasn't ok. He took a sip of his drink feeling the liquor burn down his throat. "My daughter... hates me," he explained after a while into the quiet night enveloping them.

He knew it was a lie. Skylar didn't hate him. He was just being dramatic, but their relationship had been rocky for the last few years and it had killed him. When she was born, she was daddy's little girl. How could she not be with the way he was with Marti? Of course, Sky had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. And as she became a toddler, it was all princess dress up games and tea parties, all of which Daddy Derek participated in _religiously_. Whatever she wanted, he made it happen.

But as she grew up, she outgrew the games she played with Derek. She preferred books and math. And although he was _beyond_ proud, it hurt that he wasn't included in fun times with her. So he did all he could. He brought her all the books and tried to read them to her. But she preferred to read herself. And eventually to read _alone_. And yeah, that fucking hurt, but what could he do? He kept trying in other ways. Getting her all sorts of science kits and DIY experiments they could do together. But again, she would rather do those things alone.

As she grew up and grew into her personality, she grew away from Derek and into her shell, and he couldn't pull her out of. It broke his goddamn heart. She hated attention and having Derek as a dad brought a lot of unwanted attention her way. When it wasn't the fact that he was a single dad, carrying an adorable little girl on his shoulders, it was the fact that he was incredible on the ice and people wanted a picture with him. All her friend's dad wanted to meet him. And even some of her teachers wanted to _date_ him. And she hated every second of it. There wasn't much Derek could do but take a step back. Stay away from her school, have someone else pick her up. Not go out anywhere he may be recognized. It was hard. All he wanted to do was shower his kid with love and attention and it seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him.

He didn't need to look at Casey to know she had rolled her eyes at him, and he deserved it. "She does not hate you. God, when did you become such a drama queen, Venturi?" Casey teased, bumping his shoulder. She was trying to cheer him up. That much he knew. But it wasn't going to work this time.

He turned to look at her with somber eyes. "Somehow, Sky's _exactly_ like you. And you hated me. You probably still do," he grumbled. He also knew that the last part was another lie, but he was itching for a fight. To feel anything else than a shitty father. He knew Casey grew to love him. She might not use the words directly, and she might not feel the way he did, but she did it in her own way. He knew it deep down in his bones that they shared something special. Something that couldn't be compared.

"I did not," she practically whined in response, pulling him out of his thoughts.

He gave her a blank even stare till she gave in.

"Ok, maybe a _little_ at first," she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But she just doesn't get you. _I_ didn't get you. Not till years later. And you don't get her either to be fair. And that's ok. You just have to try," Casey urged him.

 **Try**. A simple three-letter word that hit him like a punch in the gut. It was a word that taunted him. He had to _try_ to be a good father. _Try_ to raise his kid right. _Try_ to pick up the pieces of a toxic relationship with her mother. _Try_ to fill the void she left. _Try_ to make his daughter like him. He wasn't _trying_ hard enough.

"Oh, like you're trying with Luca?" he countered. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Her silence beside him was deafening. They weren't kids anymore. He didn't need to pick stupid fights with her to get her attention. He squeezed his eyes tight, annoyed with himself for even saying those words. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I know you're trying. I'm just feeling…" he trailed off, licking his dry lips. He was feeling a lot of things.

"Defensive?" she asked softly.

He nodded once. Raising a kid alone isn't easy. It wasn't his first choice. He thought that they could make it work. Be a little dysfunctional family the three of them. When they found out Monica was pregnant, he wanted to marry her, do it right, you know? But she wanted a different life. And a kid and marriage? That wasn't part of it. So they tried to make it work for the first few years. And even when she was around, Monica wasn't much of a mom, and Derek took all the responsibility for Sky. But then Derek got hurt… he was forced to retire from the NHL. It was the last straw for Monica who had adjusted to the lifestyle. There wasn't even a custody battle. She gave Skyler up like a pair of old shoes and went on her merry way.

Derek didn't care. Not for himself. But for his daughter. When she looked up at him with her glassy honey-colored eyes asking, " _Where mommy, daddy? Is mommy mad?_ " Tears slipping down her chubby cheeks. He hated Monica for what she did to Sky. He was pretty sure he'd hate her till the day he died.

Casey's voice brought him back. "I know. I've been feeling the same way. But hey, at least your kid just hates you. Mine wants me dead," Casey explained, her fingers circling the rim of her untouched glass. She tried to sound nonchalant about the admission, but it killed her.

"He doesn't want you dead," Derek countered. Luca was a teenage boy who just lost his dad. He was going through a lot and acting out. But he didn't want her dead.

"He does. He said so himself. He said he wished it were me and not his dad." Casey breathed out, her words shaky on her tongue. That when she finally took a sip of her drink, nodding along to herself as she needed encouragement to keep going.

"Case..." Derek said her name like it physically _pained_ him. How was he going to explain to her that it wasn't personal when Luca's words made it very much a direct blow. How could he break down the psyche of a boy whose feelings Derek was all too familiar with?

Without giving it a second thought his arm curled around her, pulling her into his chest in one swift movement. His hand settled on the perfect curve of her waist. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. Casey always smelled like warm honey and vanilla. Like comfort, with a dash of cinnamon spice depending on the day. It washed over him like a wave of calm and serenity. It had been so long since he had held her, but the feeling was one he wished he could live in.

Slowly, like she had to give herself permission first, she curled into him. One arm slipping behind his back, turning her entire body into him, she laid her head on his shoulder and a hand curled around his middle. She was holding him like a teddy bear, and he didn't mind one bit. It was easy in those moments. In between words and away from everyone else. It could be so easy if it was just them.

"You want to switch?" she asked after a while, her voice vibrating against his chest. He could see a small smile tipped up at the corner of her mouth. A fake smile. It didn't cover up the glossiness in her eyes. The tears threatening to spill overboard. He knew he was having a hard time. Between losing her husband and her son's rebellion, she was struggling to keep her head above water. "You take Luca for a week, I take Sky?" She went on to explain.

Derek reached out his free hand to cup her cheek. A thumb gently caressing her smooth skin. Time had done nothing to age her. She was still painfully beautiful to him. But losing her husband... that had aged her. It hurt to see her that way. It had sucked the luster from her skin and the glow from her eyes. He wished those blue eyes still had some sparkle left in them... But they were sad, stormy, and dull now. His thumb reached up, wiping away the single tear that had managed to escape.

He watched her for a moment as he thought about what she had said. Her ridiculous idea and conversation pivot. "Can we?" he asked, entertaining her. He was sure that he could handle Luca. He was a mini Derek after all, even drove Casey crazy in the same way, if not worse. He understood the kid. And Sky… Sky adored Casey. Maybe because she saw Casey as a mother figure that she never really had. The perfect A-typical mind that echoed her brilliant one? He wasn't sure. But those two worked well together. He was ashamed to admit how long he had kept them apart. Mostly because it was hard coming home, hard being around her pretending.

Casey half shrugged. "Or, you could just move in," she finally said, eyes flicking away from his, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth.

"What?" he asked, confused. He didn't see that coming.

"Move in," Casey repeated, slowly tilting her head up to meet his stare again. "I can help with Sky. You can help with Luca. We used to be such a good team together. Why not? Lord knows I could use the help." And then so much softer, she asked a question that had been plaguing her for years. "What's keeping you in California?" Her voice broke like she was scared to hear the answer.

Was it a real offer? Or just something to say in passing cause it sounded right and could fill the void? "I…" he started and stopped. What was keeping him in California? Well, his job playing for the LA Kings was what took him to LA. Then there was his relationship with Monica. But those two things were long gone. The only reason he stayed was that Skyler had a whole life that was built in California. Could he move them? Should he?

Softly, like the words weren't meant to be heard, she added, "Come home, Der."

* * *

Sky called a family meeting. And by family, she meant Derek, Alfred, her hamster, and her trusted whiteboard. She made a pro/con list for moving to Ontario. **LUCA** was at the very top of her con list in capital letters, underlined, and everything. But her pro list… it was long. Aunt Casey topped the list. Casey's name was followed by the name of everyone in Derek's family. Her only family. The family she had not grown up with because of California. What followed was a list of opportunities she could have had in Ontario, because of course, she had done her research. The museums she could visit. The science programs she could try. She even looked into the local high school she would attend and highlighted some things she might like doing. Science club. Debate team. Yearbook. Band. She also pointed out that if there was ever a time to move, it would be the upcoming summer before she started high school. The best time to transition.

During the entire thing, Derek sat quietly and listened, cradling Alfred in his hands. He answered any questions she had but made it clear that it would be _her_ decision. Too much had been taken from his daughter, and he was not about to take California away just because Casey made him consider it.

At the end of the family meeting, Sky agreed to the move in the summer, right before the beginning of her freshman year of high school.

Before they knew it, the sky had wrapped up 8th grade. Their LA house was packed up and sent over to Canada in a moving truck. And Derek and Sky were going to spend the first few weeks of summer road-tripping across America. They hit up all the tourist traps (for Derek) and all the historical places (for Sky).

Spending all that time in the car together was good for them. They listened to a few podcasts, Dereks very specific playlists. They listened to the entire Harry Potter series via audiobook. He made her take all the goofy pictures of him at every tourist trap he could find. And she dragged him along every museum she could find. By the time they crossed over the border to Canada, her new home, things were already looking up for Derek. Maybe coming home really was the best decision for them.

* * *

Casey knew that Luca hated the idea of living with his "dorky" and "not cool" younger cousin Skyler. And he also hated the possibility of going to the same high school with her if they moved. He was very vocal about his feelings when Casey mentioned Sky and Derek moving in.

The cousins had only met a handful of times, most recently when Derek came by during spring break, but it seems that Sky had made quite the impression on Luca. He threatened to move out when Casey suggested the possibility. He said he wanted to live with his paternal grandparents instead. That Casey's side of the family was mostly insane (and well to be fair… her family was a _little_ hectic.) Luca wanted to be with his dad's family. "Simple. Traditional. Not messy!" He wanted to sleep in his dad's old room at his grandparent's house. He wanted to be close to them instead of dealing with the chaos of home. And Casey understood it. That's why she let him spend the entire summer with his father's side of the family.

She hated to admit it, but having some alone time was a blessing. Luca was a lot to deal with. And it was still hard to get out of bed most days. And with him gone she could wallow in her feelings for a while. Allow her mind, body, and soul to grieve without worrying about Luca seeing it.

Eventually, Casey reminded Luca that sure, he'd have to live with Sky. But that would also mean that he got to live with his badass, cool, ex-hockey player uncle Derek. (Luca swore that Derek was the best part of his twisted insane family.)

So yeah, in the end, he was ok with the move.

* * *

The move was mostly painless. When Derek and Sky arrived, Luca and (mostly) Casey had made some space for the pair. There was a guest room prepared for Sky. And Derek was going to crash on the couch till they figured out the mess in the basement. He said he didn't mind, he was just trying to make a little change/adjustments as possible. He briefly considered staying at the Venturi-McDonald residence. There was a ton of space there. But Casey wanted them at her place. And he wasn't going to leave Sky there alone. So the couch would have to do. (Plus, it was Casey's couch, so it was made out of the fluffiest clouds money could buy.)

But as soon as Derek and Sky arrived, there was one thing Luca had not shut up about. He was asking, no, _begging_ to take a ride on Derek's motorcycle. He had not stopped asking since Derek parked his bike next to Casey's suburban mom-mobile in the garage. The contrast was drastic. Casey, being such a mom, very adamantly said no. Serval times. But that didn't stop Luca from asking and it was going to drive Derek insane if he kept it up.

Derek had to take Casey aside and beg her as well. A conversation between just the parents, away from Luca's ears. Luca was driving Derek up the walls and he needed a break. So he begged Casey.

* * *

At the end of their first week of school, Derek pulled up to the oh too familiar high school to pick Luca up for a ride on his shiny black and red Ducati.

Being back at the school triggered the memories of Derek. Everywhere he looked reminded him of something. Of sneaking around to pull pranks. Of kisses in the backseat of The Prince in the parking lot of the school after hours. Of hockey practice and cheerleaders. Of Casey…. _Of Casey_ …. Oh, and more memories of **Casey**.

Derek shook his head free of those thoughts. Just like in his youth, he still turned a few heads when he pulled up to the school, but he used to it. But he wasn't used to the fact that current-day SJST HS had _beautiful_ faculty, who were eyeing him down the second he pulled up. And if he wasn't such a good dad, he would maybe pay a little more attention to a few of them who were attractive. But, he was not going down that road, not with the way Sky felt about attention. He pulled off his helmet and looked around for Luca. He knew Sky was going to band tryouts and wouldn't be out yet, so he took the opportunity and ran with it.

"Luca!" Derek called out when he spotted the boy with a group of friends near the bus stop.

Luca's blue eyes went wide when he spotted Derek. He quickly said his goodbyes to his friends and tried to casually walk up to Derek. But it was more of a jog. "What are you doing here?" he asked cautiously. His eyes were locked on the motorcycle in awe.

Derek hopped off the bike, pulling the spare helmet out, offering it to his nephew. (It still felt weird calling Luca his nephew. Casey wasn't his sister, so Luca by default was not his nephew.) "You getting on?" Derek asked casually. Like it is no big deal.

Luca didn't move to take the helmet. "Can I?" he asked hesitantly, looking for the trick. He knew Casey had said no a million times. He knew she'd be livid when she found out. But it was clear that he wanted nothing more than to hop on and go.

"Why not?" Derek baited him.

"Mom will be pissed if she finds out," Luca reasoned, staring between Derek, the helmet, and the bike.

"Well, _I'm_ not gonna tell her," Derek smirked, pushing the spare helmet to Luca who finally took it with a grin.

"Alright," Luca smiled, pulling the helmet on.

The ride home was quick. The high school wasn't too far from Casey's house. And even with the pit stop so Luca could throw up on the side of the road, they made it home early. But when Derek pulled up to Casey's house, ready to park the bike in the garage, they spotted her. She was standing at the front door, with her arms crossed over her chest. She must have gotten home early from work. And she was _pissed_. Those piercing blue eyes were staring daggers at Derek and Luca.

"Shit," Derek cursed, killing the engine. He tried not to curse in front of the kids. But it was hard. He had always had a dirty mouth. And being around hockey players for most of his life didn't help. Casey had a swear jar, and he had been keeping it topped up ever since they moved. That was another five bucks.

"I'll just go up to my room," Luca mumbled on shaky legs when he got off the bike, handing Derek the spare helmet.

"You do that," Casey replied, keeping stern eyes locked on Derek. If looks could kill, Derek would be a dead man. But he had been on the receiving end of those eyes far too many times, so he wasn't too worried about it. Nine lives and all that. "You, me, outside. _Right now_ ," Casey practically growled at him.

"Yes ma'am," Derek replied, trying his very best not to make a joke about how bossy she was. (And how he was into it.) Instead, he followed her through the house out into the back yard that had quickly become the parents meet up spot.

When they were safely away from listening ears, Casey dropped the act. " _So_?" she asked Derek softly. Even though she knew her son was out of earshot, she still didn't want to be caught scheming.

"He threw up," Derek smiled in triumph. Maybe he had driven a little dangerously…. Maybe he went a little too fast on a few curves. He did not take it easy on Luca. But that was the plan after all. "Don't think he'll be asking for a ride anytime soon," he explained.

They both knew that Luca was going to keep asking. And the only way to get him off the subject would be to give in. But he knew Luca simply was not ready for the motorcycle life.

"Am I a bad mother?" Casey asked her lip between her teeth in worry, eyes trained on her feet.

"Am I a bad _uncle_?" he countered, taking a seat on the back steps. They were both to blame, both wrong. Casey came up with the plan and Derek executed it flawlessly. Maybe it wasn't good parenting. But it gave Luca what he needed, and the parents were done hearing about it. So win-win?

"Thanks, Der," she said softly headed to the door, going back inside to have a conversation with her son. "Maybe you can take me out for a ride next. I do miss the wind in my hair," she added with a teasing smile that melted him before she disappeared inside.

Memories hit him like a pile of bricks. Her arms wound tight around his waist. Her thighs wrapped around him like a vice grip as she held on for dear life on his first bike over a decade ago. He could still feel the strands of her hair whipping in the wind around them. And her squeals in his ear, even with the helmet. He shook his head free of the memories. That was a lifetime ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...This was supposed to be a fun little drabble full of hijinks between these 4. But then my brain did a thing. And now there are full-blown chapters and with fleshed-out backstories. Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one where they become a dysfunctional family.

Casey knew Sky was still adjusting to Canada. Coming from her lavish life in LA, it had to be hard. Slowly but surely she saw it happening. And it seemed as if Sky really liked spending time with her aunt Casey. Step aunt? Whatever it was, Casey _got_ her, understood her like no one else really did, and Casey knew it. She tried to spend any time she could with Sky, trying to get her to open up about her feelings. Derek had said she had been retreating into her shell as she got older, pulling away from him. He opened up about his own doubts about being a good father, and it broke Casey's heart. She knew Derek did everything in his power for his daughter. So, Casey wanted to give Sky a safe place to open up. Thankfully Derek was out running errands and Luca was locked in his room till dinner was ready, so the girls had some resemblance of privacy to speak openly.

"Things with dad are…" Sky trailed off. Casey had asked and Sky seemed unsure of how to answer. "Hockey is his life. _Was_ his life, I guess," Sky corrected with a frown pulling at her lips. Maybe she understood why retiring and his injury were so hard on him. But she was just a kid when it happened, she probably didn't even understand what was happening. "And I know it's important to him. And I tried to like it, I really did," Sky explained looking up at Casey with the saddest pair of brown eyes.

Casey believed her. "It's just not your thing, huh?" she asked with an understanding smile from the other side of the kitchen table.

Sky shook her head."I just don't get it. It's so violent. They really don't need to slam each other that hard to score. In fact, I think they could score more if they didn't break out into fights every three seconds."

Casey understood that all too well. She remembered having the same thoughts. But all that had changed. "It took a while for me to be able to go to Derek's games. But once I started, I was invested. Also, Marti. Marti changed my mind about hockey. Watching a game with her, when your dad was playing? It was an experience, I promise you!" Marti had always been Derek's biggest fan. Casey wondered if it hurt Derek to know his own daughter didn't feel the same. She wondered if Marti could help change that…

Casey tried her best not to think of those college days. Watching Derek from the student section, wearing his practice jersey, screaming her throat raw cheering for him. She got just as passionate as Marti. Watching him play was electrifying. But seeing him after a win was even better. When Derek came off the ice after a win, he was on a high that no drug could replicate. Casey would wait for him by the locker rooms. When he'd finally emerge, she'd jump into his arms, legs, and arms wrapping around his tight. And obviously, he'd catch her. He'd always catch her. His hair still wet from his shower, his whole body still a little damp. But they didn't care, cause being in each other's arms was more important. He'd press his face into her hair, smiling like a goddamn idiot. His heart racing against his chest so hard Casey could feel it against her own.

But when he lost a game... it was different. He'd come out of the locker room defeated. His hand would silently slip into hers and she'd tug him all the way to her dorm room. They would end up in her tiny bed, his face pressed against her chest, a pout on his lips as she played with his hair and held him.

But that was a long time ago.

"So, how do we get around this issue?" Casey asked out loud, her mind running with possibilities. "You're good with numbers right?"

But Casey already knew the answer. Sky was a genius. Derek had raved about how smart she was, for good reason. But then again, she'd let him ramble all day if she could. It was adorable to see how proud of his daughter he was. She was a math wiz, among a dozen other academic achievements. A mini Casey for sure. Maybe even smarter?

Sky nodded with a proud grin.

"Well, how about you look up the stats for the Leafs? I'm sure your dad would be very excited to hear you show interest in his favorite team. And that way you don't have to watch the games. You can read a few numbers and surprise him," Casey offered. What would really light Derek up was if Sky talked about _his_ stats, but she didn't want to push too hard. Plus, she was already planning up an all-girls hockey night with Marti.

* * *

It would appear that Sky took Casey's suggestion into consideration because the following night during family dinner, she tested the numbers theory.

"Hey Dad, did you catch the Leafs game last night?" Sky asked casually, pushing her potatoes around her plate with her fork, eyes fixed down.

Casey tried to hide her excitement when she realized what was happening. Sky had wasted no time.

"Of course!" Derek replied. Casey knew that he had watched the game with Sam the night before. He had sent her a text letting her know he'd be getting in late and not to worry. It was sweet really, the way he wanted to keep her in the loop of his comings and goings. Not wanting to intrude in her home life.

"Did you see Campbells move in the 2nd period?" Sky continued, eyeing Derek carefully like she was ready for him to call her bluff.

Casey hadn't caught the game, she was too busy scheming with Sky. But she had heard Derek and Luca talking about it during breakfast that morning. Rumor has it, it was legendary.

"Yes…" Derek answered slowly, clearly concerned. Everyone knew his daughter hated hockey with a burning passion. In fact, he even admitted to Casey that he avoided all talk about hockey, in any sense when he was around her. Casey knew how hard that had to be for him. Hockey was his first love after all. But he pretended like it wasn't around his kid cause it seemed to bother her.

Sky shrugged like it was no big deal. "He's been on a roll. The Rangers really want him. He currently ranked 14th goalie in the NHL. Sounds like they might make an offer."

A small, quiet smile pulled at Casey's mouth. Sky had done her research well. Pulling out all the stats and reading the sports articles.

Derek narrowed his eyes at his daughter. Then suddenly understanding what was happening, he turned his stare towards Casey. She recognized that look in his eye. He was wondering if she knew what was going on. But she wasn't going to spill, so she just shrugged, her eyes busy staring down at her plate of food with a knowing smile.

Derek shook his head in disbelief. "How do you…" he trailed off, not being able to finish his sentence.

Luca seemed to be just as shocked. Looking between the Venturi's, eyes narrowed in confusion, just waiting for the shoe to drop. He looked like he wanted to say something, probably make some jab at Sky, but he held his tongue. Casey was grateful for it. The moment was not about him, it was about Sky and Derek.

Sky just shrugged, a poker face mask across her features. But Casey caught the twitch in her lips. Sky was pleased with herself.

Progress, Casey thought.

"Well," Derek licked his lips, regaining his thoughts. "Yeah, he's pretty badass. I hope the Leafs pay him whatever it takes to keep him on board for the next few years. I think he's good now, but next year... I think it could really be his year," he added, taking a bite of his dinner.

Casey could hear the pure joy in his voice. He was elated to be talking about hockey of all things to his daughter. She was glad to be part of the reason why. She was excited for him.

"Yeah but... he's pushing 30 Dad. You know what that means. It's only downhill from there!" Sky added, taunting her father. Everyone knew he was sensitive about the fact that he was in his late thirties. Practically ancient by his daughter's standards.

"Watch your tongue!" he reprimanded her. Derek never called her out on cursing, because well, she never did. But he had to draw a line at her ageist comments. Those wounded his soul.

Casey chuckled, taking a sip of her drink, enjoying the scene unfolding in front of her. In those rare moments, it almost felt like they could be a family, one where part of her heart wasn't completely destroyed.

But then her eyes landed on her son, a perfect blend of herself and his father. And he was staring at her like she had betrayed him somehow. Like the fact that she dared smile for a moment tarnished his father's memory. And then her heart squeezed in her chest, and she was back to square one. The smile quickly crumbled and she sank in her seat. Stiff, sad, and broken. Her eyes locked on the food in front of her with no appetite.

* * *

Derek almost missed Sky the following morning. She was about to head out to the bus stop when he frantically called for her from the kitchen.

"Sky, wait!" Derek called out, jogging toward the front door. He has been deep into his morning argument with Casey that he almost missed her. Thankfully he didn't, reaching the front door with a Tupperware container for her

Sky was ready to head out the door with her book bag slung over one shoulder. Her reddish-brown hair was in a messy ponytail. Her face was still a little puffy from sleep. Her light brown eyes blinked slowly up at him from behind her blue framed glasses. She got lucky and got her mother's eyes; just a few shades lighter than Dereks. The _prettiest_ eyes. Her face was covered in a light dusting of freckles that came in the summer but had started to fade in the Canadian fall.

"What is this?" she asked, taking the box cautiously as if it would blow up in her hands. Derek noticed her sparkly fingernails and smiled, knowing Sky and Casey had matching nails. They must have had a good girls night together.

"I made you some homemade cookies. For the science club meeting you have today," he answered, second guessing himself. He was pretty sure it was that afternoon. But the way she was looking at him made him think he was insane.

"How did you know?" she asked, still confused.

"I check the school website every night." Did she think he was a bad father? After the move, Derek really wanted to make sure he knew everything going on with his daughter as much as he could know. And she wasn't the sharing type, not with him. So he had to do his own research to stay up to date with what her life. "Ok, so maybe making you cookies wasn't the best idea. I'll take them back," he shrugged, reaching for the plastic box, tiring his best not to look completely heartbroken.

Sky made a move to hold them further back away from him. "You _made_ cookies?" she asked slowly like she was trying to solve a math problem. And he understood why. Derek didn't make cookies. Derek hardly cooked. Let alone baked. The whole situation was odd, and he knew it too. But he was _trying_.

"Yes. They're edible, I promise. Casey supervised... _very_ closely," he added, assuring his daughter he wasn't trying to poison her entire science club. He had made them the night before, after dinner.

He was more than excited that Sky even entertained the idea of hockey with him for a few minutes, so he wanted to do something special to thank her. Casey suggested he make cookies. At first, she said it as a joke. But then she really enjoyed the idea of watching Derek try to bake cookies all on his own. After some back and forth he agreed, because he wanted to do something nice for his daughter, he thought she'd enjoy the treat. (And also because Casey looked bummed out after dinner and he wanted to distract her with his terrible baking skills and a good old fashioned argument.)

So Casey sat at the kitchen island, her feet kicked up and a small smile painted across her lips and she got comfy she gave Derek very specific instructions. He knew how much she loved ordering him around. It took twice as long because he was bickering with Casey along the way, but that was good. The more she focused on him the less brain power she had to be sad. So he kept messing up, having to re-measure countless times.

"You're a mess, Venturi," she giggled, watching him.

He stuck his tongue out at her like a kid and measured his flour for the third time. He was a physical and metaphorical mess. But by the end of the night, he had made a ton of chocolate chip cookies that were all Casey approved.

"You made cookies...with Casey… for my science club?" Sky asked again as if his answer would change.

"Yes…?" Derek replied feeling like he was giving her the wrong answer.

Slowly, a smile pulled across her lips. She reached up on her tippy toes, pressing a kiss to her father's cheek. "Thanks, Dad," was all she said before running to the bus stop, cookies in hand.

And that was all he needed.

* * *

"Princess," Derek groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He shouldn't be surprised. Frustration was what he felt around Casey 99.9% of the time for one reason or another. But there, in the middle of the kitchen, when all he wanted was a snack, she decided to shake up his _entire_ night.

"Der-ek" she countered, crossing her arms over her chest, ready to fight him tooth and nail.

She hadn't pulled out her signature "Der-ek" since he had been back. He had been itching to hear it. But finally, she said it. And he swore a piece of his broken heart mended with it. Slowly a smile cracked along his lips. She was cute when she got like that. He had _missed_ her like that...It had been a while since he had seen that side of her. She had been different after losing her husband. A shell of the woman he remembered her to be.

"Fine," he agreed, giving in just to keep that smile on her face. (Even if it meant hell to pay later.)

"What just happened?" Sky asked Luca in a not so quiet whisper when the kids walked into the kitchen to find their respective parents going back and forth with one another.

"I have no idea," Luca replied, still staring at the adults like they were some freaky science experiment gone wrong. (And he didn't know it, but he was sort of right.)

"What just happened is that I just agreed with Casey…" he trailed off giving the teens a sympathetic look he hoped they understood. "We are having a family game night...apparently," Derek explained, turning to look at Casey. The source of everyone's pain.

The kids looked at Casey as well. She was silently clapping in the corner, a stupid toothy grin etched across her mouth. Clearly, she was enjoying her win, and Derek would gladly let her have it. "Who's ready for Monopoly?" she asked, singing in excitement.

Everyone groaned in response. Casey _always_ won Monopoly and wouldn't let anyone give up until she won fair and square. It was going to be a very long night for the four of them.

Family bonding, or _whatever_.

* * *

Derek was sitting at the kitchen table working that afternoon. Being retired meant that he didn't really have a job. Not a normal one at least. Most retired players that wanted to stay in the field turned to coaching, managing, or became agents. But Derek didn't like those options. Not yet. So instead he worked as a consultant. He basically advised teams what they should do and what players would fit the team dynamic. Where they were going wrong and how to improve. That kind of thing. And since he made a name for himself (Derek Venturi: Retired LA Kings centerman, Stanley Cup winner,) teams were willing to pay a pretty penny to see what Derek Venturi had to say.

Thankfully it was a job he could do remotely. Every once in a while he'd have to travel to see a team play but for the most part, he could just use recordings and provide his insight to coaches and management. He was in the middle of writing up a report for the Vancouver Canucks at the kitchen table (his makeshift office) when Sky walked into the kitchen.

"Hey dad," she smiled, slipping into the seat across from him.

"Yeah kiddo," he smiled back, saving his work and turning towards her. He was glad that she had shown some interest in hockey, but he knew he still wanted to keep it away from her and give her his full attention. "What's up?"

Sky bit her lip, looking down at the table. Whatever it was, she was shy about talking about it. "Do you think you can pick me up on the bike tomorrow?" she finally asked, her voice soft, her eyes flicked up to meet him.

Derek was more than surprised. Sky hated having a semi famous dad. Hated it whenever he showed up at her school. She didn't like any attention being on her and her dad. "Are you sure? What if everyone starts staring? The bike's not very… conspicuous," he explained softly. His bike was loud and demanded attention, it's why he got it. She was a beauty. But he didn't want Sky to think he was saying no, he just needed to understand where her change of heart was coming from.

"They're already staring at me," she shrugged uncomfortably, pushing up her clear framed glasses. Sky was beautiful with her reddish brown hair and light eyes, but Derek was a bit biased. Of course, she was getting looked at. It didn't help that most days she was carrying around her trumpet for the band. Or robot parts for the science club. Honestly, the only activity she didn't participate in was sports.

Before Derek got to ask why she was being stared at, Sky went on.

"Plus, everyone keeps talking about Luca's cool uncle." She rolled her eyes in annoyance, arms crossing over her chest. She didn't use it often but she had Derek attitude alright.

So Luca got all the cool points and Sky wanted in. Derek didn't mind being used in that way. His daughter had dibs on any cool points he could provide. "So I get to be the cool dad tomorrow?" he teased with a lopsided grin. That was very new for him. But he was definitely up for the role.

"Only if you're free," she rushed to explain.

"I'll be there. It'll be nice to ride with someone who doesn't need a throw up pit stop." Derek winked. They used to go on long drives down the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) in California along the water on nice days when Derek could lure Sky away from her bedroom with the promise of reading on the beach.

Sky's eyes went wide in recognition. Derek knew he was giving her ammo to use against her cousin. And maybe he shouldn't help. Those two got at each other like cats and dogs. He knew it was the universe's way of paying him back for his years at home with Casey. So he didn't complain about it.

* * *

" _Uncle_ Derek," Luca started, entering the living room where Derek had been watching footage of an old game. He had been studying the footage for his old coach at the LA Kings. They wanted to know which rookie Derek would draft for their current team needs.

" _Nephew_ Luca," Derek countered, still not used to the title/formalities. He had told Luca a million times just to call him Derek, but the kid didn't listen. He paused the video, turning to look at the lanky teenage boy with a mop of dirty blonde hair on his head. He really needed a haircut. But Derek was not one to point it out. He remembered how he used to be with his hair.

"Why do you call my mom Princess?" Luca asked, sitting on the arm of the couch, staring at Derek, waiting for an answer. Straight to the point that one.

_Well, shit. Shit shit shit._ "What?" Derek asked, buying time. He knew exactly what Luca was talking about. He tried his very best to avoid calling Casey Princess when Luca was around. The first time he did it, he ended up on the receiving end of a blue-eyed death glare. (One that reminded him of Casey's icy stare.) And he understood it. So he tried to stop. But being around Casey just bought it out of him. And sometimes Luca would catch it. And it would seem that he really didn't like it.

"It's just, my dad used to call her sweet nothings, you know? And you call her Princess…" Luca trailed off with a shrug. There was a bit of defiance in his tone. He was clearly calling Derek out.

"Oh, there's nothing sweet about it when I do it. I promise," Derek tried to explain. There really wasn't… but it had become a term of endearment between them. She stopped fighting the name long ago.

"There's not?" The teenager asked, his voice dry, like he wasn't convinced. Crossing his arms over his chest. He was trying to make himself look bigger. He was getting there but he was only 15 and still smaller then Derek. (Although maybe not for long…)

"No way. I started calling her Princess because when she first moved into our house, she wanted to change _everything_. She wanted my room! And I felt like we were just peasants trying to make everything perfect for Princess Casey. It's an insult, really. It just kind of...stuck." Derek cringed because it was true.

"Oh, ok." Luca nodded along, understanding. But _barley_.

Derek had a bad feeling Luca was catching on to something that he really didn't need to. He couldn't imagine what would happen if Luca found out all of their secrets.

"I kind of get that, you know with Sky and all," Luca shrugged.

Derek wanted to laugh. Sky hadn't asked for a single thing ever since they moved, not like Casey had. Sky hadn't complained, she didn't try to take Lucas' room. She hadn't asked for any special treatment whatsoever. (Even when she deserved it.) The only thing that she did was fight with Luca...all the time, but that was to be expected.

"I'm sure you do," Derek replied dryly. He wondered for just a split second if Luca did feel the way about Sky as he felt about Casey...

* * *

Mike died at the end of September, meaning they had survived a whole year without him. For his on year death anniversary, Derek and Sky decided to spend the weekend at the Venturi-McDonald residence, giving Casey and Luca the much needed personal space to grieve.

Luca didn't want to do anything to honor his father. He didn't want to leave his bedroom at all. It was almost like reliving those first few days all over again. And that was fine. He was allowed to grieve the way he wanted to.

Casey on the other hand had the day planned out. She put on the pretty pink dress that Mike loved to see her in. She even picked up some daisies and headed to the cemetery to see him. She laid down a blanket and sat by his tombstone and set up a small picnic for herself. She sat there, alone, in the beautiful September afternoon, and just talked for a while. Just her and him. And a meatball sub, his favorite of course.

Just as she was packing up for her things to go, Luca showed up. He was dressed all in black. He even wore a button down and tie, just like he did on the day of Mike's funeral. He even brushed his hair, all to honor his dad. In his hands, he delicately held Mike's firefighter helmet, the one he had claimed for himself in his bedroom.

Casey offered her hand to her son and for once he took it without saying a word. He fell to his knees, crumpling in his mother's chest in front of his father's grave. The helmet sitting beside them. They sat there for a while. Just grieving, crying and missing Mike, together for the first time in a year.

* * *

"Hey mom," Luca called, finding his mom in the basement doing laundry.

"Yes, honey?" Casey asked, turning to look at her son at the top of the basement stairs. Boy was he getting tall. He was already Casey's height and still had years of growing to do. He teased that he'd be as tall as Derek at 5'11; he probably would be. Mike was just over 6 feet after all. Looking at her son Casey couldn't help but want to run her fingers through his hair; Luca really needed a haircut, his dirty blonde hair had gotten long and floppy. He was constantly fussing with it, pushing it out of his eyes, but refused to cut it. Teenagers were weird.

"So, uncle Derek mentioned that you used to be really good at video games," Luca started, a curious glint in his eyes. He took a seat on the basement steps, eyeing her closely. "Is it true?" he asked

"I was." She turned, putting a hand on her hip in mock annoyance. "And I'm pretty sure I also told you that years ago," she countered, giving him a too familiar look.

"Well yeah…" he shrugged, bashfully. "But I thought you were just trying to make yourself look cool or whatever," he explained like it was obvious.

Casey rolled her eyes. "Mhmm," she hummed, turning back to the washing machine in front of her.

"Do you, uh….want to play… with me?" The words tripped off his tongue like he was nervous to ask.

Slowly Casey turned to look at her son again. She had to measure if it was a prank or not. Normally he wouldn't ever suggest spending time together. Especially in his teenage angst. But this was different. This had Derek written all over it and she knew it. She was so glad that he had decided to stay with her. He was helping in a way he didn't even understand. "Sure, I'll play. Just promise not to cry when I completely destroy you, ok sweetie?" she smirked, her voice full of sugary sweet condescendingness, the competitive air filling the space between them.

"Game on," her son replied, narrowing his eyes at her.

* * *

Later in that evening, Derek found Casey and Luca on the couch deep into a game of Fortnight. "Mom, stop!" Luca groaned. "Never!" She replied her tongue out in concentration.

He was going to start getting ready for bed, but it looked like the living room was otherwise occupied. And he was fine with that.

He remembered all those times she kicked his ass in Babe Raider and had no doubt she was doing the same with her son. He hoped she would be even better than Luca, just cause. The sight of them together warmed Derek. And then he decided to make himself scarce for the rest of the night, heading over to Sam's. He was glad the pair were finding something to bond over finally. Maybe videogames would begin to mend their relationship.

* * *

Casey was looking at old photos on her phone. Pictures that made her heartache and her eyes fill with tears because she glutton for punishment and she missed her husband. Her stupid, too brave for his own good husband. But then her screen changed, flashing to a phone call. The phone vibrating in her hands almost felt violent. Suddenly she felt like she got caught doing something bad.

Her heart raced as she stared at Derek's name on her phone. His saved contact photo was an old picture of him after the LA Kings won the Stanley Cup. His smile was immeasurable. It took a few seconds to regain her thoughts and answer the call.

"Hey," she breathed out, her voice shaky. Her everything was still shaky.

"Hey you," he replied. The audio echoed so she assumed he was driving. But still, she heard the smile in his voice.

"What's up?" she asked. He only called when he needed a quick answer, or was driving. She couldn't imagine what he'd want so late at night. Maybe to tell her he wasn't coming home… Her stomach did some sort of flip in anticipation. Derek had come home every night since moving in.

"I'm on my way home. Kids in bed?"

_Home_. Their home together. Casey smiled to herself. Warmth flooded her chest. It just felt right. "Well, they're in their rooms, so I guess," she replied, not convinced. She knew Luca would stay up to 4 am some nights.

"Good. I was going to pick up some milk, I know we ran out this morning. Do we need anything else?"

His words just felt so domestic and sickeningly sweet. Sixteen year old Derek could never. But she couldn't keep comparing versions of him. He had become this different man. Caring and sweet. And absolutely wonderful.

"Case?" he asked, not hearing a response.

"Ice cream," she replied quickly, blinking out of it. "Anything chocolate," she clarified.

Derek chuckled on the other end of the call. "Tampons?" He asked like he already knew the answer.

Casey flushed. She was alone in her bedroom yet Derek had her blushing. Why? Because he read her so well. Cause he knew her body? "How did you…"

"It's been over twenty years Princess," he reminded her, his voice like silk across her skin, smooth and warm. And god if a shiver did not run down her spine by the sound of him. And then guilt quickly filled her chest. Derek had missed over half of those years the second Mike came into her life… . _Mike_. A different kind of guilt punched her in the gut.

"And I do have a daughter," he reminded her. Of course. "So, tampons. Should I pick some up?" he asked again.

He sounded so calm about the possibility. During their college days, he had to make a few emergency runs for her. And with Sky, and being a single dad, all reservations went out the window. He was so secure in himself. She would bet that he knew exactly the right kind to get.

"No, I'm good. Just the ice cream." Casey ran a hand through her hair. Her hormones were going haywire and she had to get herself together.

"I'll be there in twenty. Don't wait up!" he teased.

"I won't," she replied. Even though she knew she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like…. whose dynamic do you love the mostest? (Besides Dasey, because obviously!)
> 
> I'm kind of here for Luca/Derek's up and down. Luca loves him, but feels like he's betraying his father because of all these little things he catches Derek doing. They are just too similar and will be at ends with each other, both trying to be the Alpha male. But then again I write it so… *shrug*
> 
> Also- are you enjoying the itsy bitsy piece of their history I'm giving you?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween one with a few answers!
> 
> PSA: I know NOTHING about hockey. I got all my intel off youtube.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr if you're into that kind of thing: Wroteathingtoday

October was a blur that only stopped for holidays. It was Sky's first Canadian Thanksgiving. They spent it together at the Venturi-McDonald house with Geroge, Nora, and Marti. Liz and Ed spent it with their spouses' family, promising to come home for Christmas.

Then came Halloween. The kids both dressed up and had plans. Separate plans, of course. Sky went to the school dance with her best friend Amelia, (Emily and Sheldon's daughter) dressed as Wednesday Adams. Luca was ditching the school dance because it was "lame" and going to a party instead. But Derek suspected that maybe he was going to try to score some candy first. Luca had dressed up as an old school robber with a black and white shirt, hat, and a bag of 'money'.

Halloween was Derek's Christmas. A time where he could dress up, along with the female population which he very much enjoyed looking at. He could pull spooky pranks and eat all the candy. Yeah, it had always been his favorite. And on his favorite holiday, he was headed to his favorite bar with favorite boys. Sam and Ralph were going to meet him there.

He had dressed up as a referee. Granted it was an easy costume. He wore the black and white striped shirt with the orange band on the arms. It was an official NHL referee shirt; he had stolen it from work years ago. He paired it with black skinny jeans and wore a whistle around his neck. Simple and to the point. He was ready to call out any penalties/violations he saw that night, it was going to be a really good night.

He was just about to head out when he spotted Casey in the living room. She was curled up in a blanket. Hocus Pocus playing on the massive flat screen in front of her, a pumpkin spice candle burning on the coffee table setting the mood, and a bowl of popcorn settled comfortably on her lap. She looked cozy and settled in for the night. And that simply wouldn't do.

"Oh no, McDonald. You are _not_ staying in. Not tonight," Derek groaned, making his way into the living room. He was sure she had plans, that's why he didn't invite her along with him. He heard her talking about it on the phone with Emily! But apparently he heard wrong.

Halloween used to be their thing. They went out together for 3 years running during college. (That last one, senior year, was lost to Mike.) The first Halloween, freshman year, Casey dressed up as a modern day Cinderella. She wore a beautiful blue dress. It was short and lacy, very cute. She paired it with Cinderella classic black choker and her hair up in a bun with a blue headband to match. She spent the night asking if anyone had seen her fairy godmother, claiming that her ride would arrive at midnight.

Derek rolled his eyes at her being an absolute nerd, but he secretly loved it. By the end of the night, it was Derek who scooped her off her tired wobbly feet, carrying her back to her dorm bridal style. He really was her prince charming, even though he was dressed like a greaser. For the next two Halloweens, they opted for matching costumes instead. It just made more sense that way.

"Uh, yes I am," she countered, her brows all furrowed. She was ready for a fight. And on any other night, he would have given her one. With the kids out of the house, he had permission to go all the way if he wanted to. To curse, to make inappropriate comments, to tease her, to talk about their past. On any other night, he would have loved every second of it. But it was Halloween, and they were wasting precious time.

"No, you're not," he countered easily. He pulled the bowl of popcorn away from her, placing it on the coffee table. "You're coming out with me," he decided, pausing the movie. If she had no plans, she was tagging along with him.

He knew she hadn't been out. Not since Mike. She hadn't had any downtime to herself. Any time to unwind and relax. She was so deep into her bubble of grief she didn't allow herself any bit of happiness. And he was tired of seeing her that way. Plus, it was Halloween, it meant something to him (to _them_ ). So, she was going out with him. That way he could watch out for her.

"What? No way. I can't go out. Who's going to give out candy?" she offered, raising an eyebrow at him as if she had just proved her point.

Derek rolled his eyes. Her excuse was weak. "We'll just leave a bowl out, Case," he sighed heavily, extending a hand out to her. "Come on," His eyes were begging her. He knew he couldn't live in his memories, but if they could just make a few new ones, maybe he'd be able to start forgetting the old ones.

"I don't have a costume," she tried again, ignoring his hand.

Derek dropped his hand and stared her down for a moment. She would need a costume... He thought about doing a google search for a quick and easy costume. But then an idea dawned on him and a delicious smirk graced his features. He had already won. The night was already shaping up to be one to remember.

Casey's face fell recognizing the sly look on his face. "Whatever it is, _no,_ " she quickly interjected with a pointed finger.

Derek just grinned, turning off the tv and blowing out the candle. "Go upstairs. Go put on some shorts and a pair of thigh-high socks. You're gonna wear my jersey," he informed her, already halfway out the living room. Just like old times, he thought to himself. She always did look good with his name printed on her back. He could pretend that she was his, if only for the night, just like he use to. (She always made his jersey smell nice when she gave it back. He was always a mess at practice the next time he wore it.)

Casey sounded mortified at the idea. "What? No. Derek, I can't!" Casey yelled back.

"You can and you will. I'm not letting you stay home tonight!" his voice cut off as he descended the basement steps to find his old jersey amongst his things.

She did end up wearing Derek's black and white LA Kings jersey. It fit her like a short dress. She could have tied it up and made it shorter since she was wearing shorts, but she kept it at its normal length, the bottom of it kissing the middle of her thigh. And she looked amazing in it, obviously. Almost _too_ good. Derek started second-guessing himself when she made her way downstairs where he was waiting for her. Casey's legs were made to be worshipped at an altar with lit candles and songs written about them. She didn't dance as much as she used to, mostly doing yoga and pilates. But her legs were still one of her best features. And paired with the thigh-high socks, there was only a sliver of her skin between the jersey and her socks. And what an enchanting patch of skin it was, drawing his eyes up her body…He was a goner.

"Do I look ok?" she asked gently, like a shy schoolgirl under his stare.

Derek cleared his throat and his thoughts. "You look good, Case," he replied, tearing his eyes away from her legs. _You always look good,_ he thought. "Look, I know this is hard for you, going out for like the first time in forever. But we can leave _whenever_ you want, ok? Just say the word." He needed her to understand that although he was dragging her out, she was in control.

Casey rolled her eyes at him, grabbing her purse. "Yeah, right. You say that now. Till you have Harley Quinn curled up next to you," she mumbled.

Derek shook his head, leading them out the door. "You're the one I'm going home with, honey," he promised.

* * *

Casey found a seat at the bar the second they had arrived. (She was just not ready to mingle freely, that was simply too much socializing.) Plus, a seat at the bar was so rare given the number of people there celebrating, she was lucky. The point was that she was out of the house, in a costume, with a drink in hand, so Derek wasn't going to push her further than that. If she wanted to sit at the bar, she could sit there all night.

He kept eyes on her though, checking on her every few minutes, as if to confirm that she hadn't disappeared on him. A few times he spotted Sam or Ralph talking to her in between their rounds. Other times he'd look up and see her tapping away on her phone. He'd give it another twenty minutes before calling it a night and taking her home. She clearly wasn't enjoying herself.

He made his way towards her, a wicked idea in his head. He approached her at the bar with narrowed eyes. "Venturi, penalty 63, 5 minutes in the box," he growled at her, making the call just like a ref would.

Caseys face twisted in confusion. She was definitely not expecting that kind of greeting from him. Between his words and the loud music, she had no idea what he was on about. "Excuse me?" she deadpanned.

"Venturi," he clarified, pinching the black jersey between his fingers. She was Venturi, for the night at least. "Penalty 63," he glared at her as if suddenly his words would register.

Catching on, Casey rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, annoyed at the ref. "And what's penalty 63?" she asked.

"You're holding up the game," he replied with a smirk, like he was just waiting for her to ask. He pushed her untouched drink towards her. "Drink," he supplied.

"Or what? Five minutes in the penalty box?"

"You're lucky I didn't take you out of the game completely." He _would_ take her out of the game. He would take her straight home. It was a real threat that he was going to follow through on. Not because she wasn't drinking, but because she was having a bad time. And he refused to let that happen on his watch.

"You wouldn't dare," she countered with narrowed eyes.

And then, instead of having the last word, Derek just winked at her. She knew he would dare. He'd dare to do a lot of things.

Casey rolled her eyes but took the drink anyway. Making a show of taking a few sips. Clearly, she wasn't ready to go home just yet.

And with that Derek left her to do another lap around the bar.

* * *

Casey had eyes on Derek all night. Not because she wanted to know what he was doing, but because he made her feel safe. A beacon in the night. Her safety net if she fell. (And she still was a klutz, so…) It was her first night out since Mike died, and Derek knew it. It was hard to go out alone, even if she was out with Derek. But it was also Halloween. And she knew exactly why he wanted to take her out so badly.

She frowned looking at Derek from afar. He had become such an impressive man over the years. She had no idea how he was still single, being that he was beyond beautiful and even more so, e was a genuinely good guy. She spotted him chatting with a redhead dressed as a vampire near the back of the bar. He had a beer in his hand, his other stuffed in his pocket, the picture of nonchalance. He was laughing at something she said, his eyes crinkling at the corner. Watching his face light up, even in the darkness of the bar, was an experience. It made Casey smile in return. Till the redhead leaned in to play with the whistle that hung around his neck, caressing his chest.

Casey felt like she was in highschool or college again. Being jealous over Derek. Except she had no claim to him. Not in college and certainly not then. He was never really hers. _But he could have been_. And that little tidbit always came back to haunt her. How differently her life would have been if she would have just said yes to him all those years ago...

Even though Derek said he'd be the one to take her home, she had a feeling she'd be calling a cab home instead. He needed a night off to enjoy himself, blow off some steam. Even if it was with the vampire. Or maybe the cute blonde nurse that had been eyeing him the second they walked in. She didn't want to ruin the night for him because she couldn't handle being out anymore.

* * *

The next time Derek's eyes flicked up to check on her, she was talking to Batman who had taken the seat next to her. She was smiling too, but not a real smile. It was her polite smile. The one she used when she was being too nice to tell Batman to fuck off. And although he had dragged her there, making it a point to get her out of the house and have fun, he was not going to allow Batman to make Casey uncomfortable. Whether he was being a creep or hitting on her politely, Derek knew Casey just wasn't ready for that. So he excused himself from the vampire he had been talking to and made his way towards Casey like a man on a mission.

* * *

Casey had the best seat in the house until Batman sat next to her and started talking. His name was Jason. He seemed like a nice enough guy but Casey wasn't in the mood to get hit on. Naturally, her eyes did what they always did and found Derek in the crowd as a distraction. She didn't expect to see his eyes already locked on her as he made his way towards her.

He looked... _intense_. His jaw clenched tight, the muscles flexing with tension. His eyes were dark and furious. Has something happened? He was laughing the last time she checked. Whatever it was, there was something so inherently _sexy_ about a serious Derek. It was such a rare sight. No smirk insight. No joke or teasing to it. His eyes locked and loaded like a weapon. She could see him grinding down on his teeth. He looked like he could kill- no, like he _would_ kill to get whatever he wanted. And at that moment Casey felt wanted. That look in his eye was primal, dominant, and raw. And yeah, Casey could use a little bit of that in her life. She loved him like that. Before she could even begin to wonder what triggered the change, he had reached her and he was _on_ her.

His massive hand splayed around her waist possessively, giving her flashbacks to their nights together. Derek had always been so greedy with her body. Hungry, almost. He always needed to touch, to feel her under him, above him, wherever she was. He touched with his hands as much as with his lips and tongue. And his touches never failed to set her on fire and make her fall apart each and every time. He was a straight-A student when it came to her body, her sounds, her needs. He picked her apart just to put her back together again in his hands. It was like she was the reason he had been put on earth…Those nights with him were nothing short of _glorious_.

The air around her was filled with his woodsy scent. His body was a human shield blocking Batman, and the rest of the world from her completely. It was something she didn't know she needed. She'd live in that little bubble of space and time with him if she could. Runaway and just...breathe him in like a drug. Derek sent her mind into a dizzy haze with his scent and those eyes but she didn't care.

"Wanna get out of here?" he whispered in her ear, his voice was pure gravel, sending shivers down her spine. She hadn't heard that tone in years. He was pressed so close to her; she could feel the ghost of his lips against her ear, and the heat of his breath fanning down her neck eliciting goosebumps. He was so good at that, it was unfair really.

Casey's fingers ached to touch him. To push his hair back out of his face, to rub her thumb across his bottom lip. She wanted to know what he tasted like now. She wanted to run her hand up and down his chest. Let her fingers toy with his belt while looking up at him with swollen pouty lips. She wanted all of it, with _him_. And if she dared move an inch, she would only be moving into him, against him, delicious friction that she wanted so bad.

But something in the back of her mind was trying to remind her why she shouldn't act on it. But she couldn't focus on those thoughts. No, it was too hard to think clearly with him so close to her.

She sucked in a shaky breath full of his scent she slowly nodded, remembering the question. Yeah, she wanted to get out of there, _bad_. "Yeah, sure," she replied loud enough for him to hear. She'd agree to anything he wanted at that moment. _Anything_.

(If they were a movie this would be the scene where they leave the bar and make out in the back of the cab. And then we'd cut to the couple slamming each other into doors and walls in a rush to get each other naked. Followed by a fade to black sex scene.)

(But they weren't in a movie.)

The second Derek pulled away from her, their little bubble of privacy **_popped_**.

The music came back rushing into her ears. The warmth of the bar surrounded her. And Batman decided to ruin their moment... _completely_.

"Shit, sorry man. I didn't see the ring," Batman explained in a hurried rush voice.

Both Casey and Derek's eyes dropped to the ring on Casey's finger. Her engagement ring and wedding bands she still wore. It was bullshit, clearly, Batman had to have seen it earlier, but he purposely ignored it. Till he thought Derek was Casey's husband that is. Casey's mind went fuzzy as her eyes struggled to look away from her hand. It was as if her hand belonged to someone else and she was seeing it for the first time. Guilt started to creep its way into her body. Slowly, curling around the edges till it consumed her.

Mike…Mike? _Mike_. **Mike**!

How could she feel anything for anyone else when there was Mike? Her heart started racing in her chest. The music at the bar, the bass line vibrating the walls suddenly felt like they were closing in on her. Tunnel vision. She was breathing heavy, like she had just run a marathon. Oxygen wasn't filling her lungs the way it should. Her anxiety was bubbling like a teapot seconds before whistling.

"Don't worry about it," Derek gritted out, sounding even more annoyed by the explanation. But his voice anchored her somehow. She clung to his raspy voice like a lifeline.

Derek turned to Casey, offering his hand to help her down from the tall bar stool. She took it, stepping down onto the sticky bar floor, thankful she had worn her sneakers. Derek would get her out of there, he always would. She felt his calloused fingers laced between hers. She squeezed hard, hoping that somehow he'd sense that she was a ticking time bomb seconds away from exploding. He led her through the mass of people and out of the bar like her own personal bodyguard. Derek always took care of her. And sometimes he really did make her feel like a princess when he was acting like such an honorable knight.

* * *

They didn't even make it to the car before the tears started. He should have known. It was all too much, too fast. She wasn't ready and it was all his fault. Instinctively he pulled them toward an emptier side street, away from the crowd on the mains strip. He knew they wouldn't make it to the car.

He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other arm curled up, a hand dipping into her hair. He tucked her into his chest protectively. He wished he could shield her from the world entirely, but he wasn't about to press her up against some dirty storefront window. Casey's arms gripped onto him like a lifeline. Sobs came tumbling out of her chest and crashed into his. He made reassuring sounds, rocking her side to side in his arms, trying to calm her amongst the chaos that was going on on the streets.

"I...I.. ne...neeeeed," she started in between sobs. Her face and tears pressed soaking into his referee shirt. Her mess of words vibrating against his chest.

"Just breathe," he told her, his lips pressed to her forehead. Whatever it was, it could wait. What she needed was to breathe. He'd get her home as soon as he felt ready to unwrap her from his embrace. "Shit. I'm so fucking sorry, sweetheart. You weren't ready. I pushed you and you weren't ready."

Derek let his head fall against the wall behind him for just a second to gather himself. He hated himself for being such an idiot. He should have known better. (He knew what happened when he pushed her. He had learned years ago.) But, he was selfish trying to make new memories together. Clearly he was so very wrong. He should have stood home with her and watched her favorite movies and eaten all the candy. But no, he thought it would be a good idea to get her out of the house. It had only been a year after all. _She wasn't ready._

Casey, seemingly in her own head, didn't hear him at all. "Need to…. take this... **off** ," she finished between sobs.

Derek pulled back to get a good look at her. "Take what off?" he asked confused. His jersey? Were her tears about him? Or Batman hitting on her?

Casey showed him her left hand. Her rings, of course. She was pulling at it, but it wouldn't budge. Her hand was swollen or the ring was just snug. "No you don't, Case," he winced. It was worse than he thought. She was crying because Batman pointed out her ring. Stupid Batman!

She sniffled a bit, wiping at her face, unknowingly smearing more of her eye makeup. "I do," she nodded, determined. "I'm not married. I'm not a wife. Not _anymore_." Her lip trembled like she was second away from breaking again.

Derek gently cupped her face, thumbs softly whipped away at the ruined mascara. There wasn't much his fingers could do but he tried. "I've got you," he promised his forehead bowed against hers. Casey's arms clung to him desperately. "Come on, let's get you home," he pleaded.

* * *

As soon as Derek moved in, Casey made a new house rule. Derek wasn't allowed to share _any_ of his childhood stories with Luca until he graduated high school. It was meant to save Casey from being on the receiving end of Luca's Derek inspired pranks. (She had lived with teenager Derek once, she didn't need to do it again with her son.)

But Luca had already heard stories of Derek's reputation... The rumors. He wanted the real deal from the man, the myth, the legend himself. Naturally, because Casey put her foot down and said no, Derek was bursting at the seams to tell Luca about all the hijinks he used to get up to. But he'd listen. He didn't need Luca pulling any pranks on Casey. She was dealing with enough.

Regardless, he was still eager to get back into Luca's good graces. Between the "princess" thing and the misadventure on Derek's bike... Luca wasn't really on team Derek anymore and it sucked! (The kid used to adore him!) So when Derek got lower level, center ice tickets to go see the Leafs, he knew just who to take.

"Oh, so you're not even going to bother inviting me?" Casey teased during dinner that night after Derek had given Luca the good news. "You know, the last game I went to was your game in LA!" she argued.

He couldn't believe that. In high school, Casey got dragged to his games all the time with the family, nearly every weekend. And in college, she was at every one of his home games. So how could she have gone nearly 10 years without going to a game? He knew she enjoyed watching it, even when he wasn't playing. He wasn't sure how that was even possible... "It couldn't be that long," he argued, not buying it for a second.

Luca answered for her. "It has. Dad didn't want to take mom to any games. He always joked about her falling in love with another hockey player if she came with us," Luca shrugged like it was no big deal.

Derek choked on the chicken he was eating. _Falling… in love… with_ another _hockey player_? "What?" he asked coughing to clear his throat, trying to act like it wasn't a response to Luca's words. (But it was obvious.)

Casey blushed, eyes locked on the food in front of her. Clearly she was not happy where the conversation had turned. "We really don't need to talk about that," she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Luca didn't seem to care. "Yeah, apparently she dated a hockey player in college before dad?" the boy supplied. "You didn't know? I always assumed it was some guy on your team. Mom never wanted to talk about it…" Luca trailed off, clearly confused.

Derek felt Sky's eyes on him, but he ignored her. His daughter was too smart for her own good and he knew it. "Uh, no. None of my guys," he explained. At least that much was true.

"Of course not. Derek threatened them all," Casey added with a pointed glare. She almost sounded ...annoyed? Had she wanted to date one of his guys?

"Male code blue," he countered, defending himself, like that could explain his actions to the kids.

Casey just rolled her eyes. But Derek saw her sink into her seat a bit. She was not loving the conversation.

"So, a hockey player from another school?" Luca concluded, looking at his mother for answers.

"I'll never tell," she replied, trying her very best to smile, clearly hoping Luca would just drop it already.

Derek wanted to move on as well. "Well, I'm sorry Case. I'll take you to another game soon, I promise. But these are _center ice_ seats for the Leafs and Lucas the bigger fan here, so..." Derek shrugged like it was a no brainer.

"Yeah, yeah." she waved him off like an annoying fly. "It's fine. Me, Sky and Marti are going to have a girls hockey night anyway," she declared.

" _Yeah, right_." Derek countered. _No way in hell,_ he thought. In what universe would his daughter sit through a hockey game?

* * *

Casey did set up an all girls hockey night. Even Nora, Emily, and Amelia stopped by for parts of it. They did each other nails based on the team's colors, they ate pizza, and did face masks while they watched. Sky didn't really watch too much of the actual game, mostly focused on all the other fun stuff to do, but anytime Marti let out a squeal or comment she would look to see why.

"What the fuck!" Marti yelled at the TV when a call the ref made a call she clearly did not agree with.

"You Venturis and your dirty mouths," Casey groaned. Nora just smiled in response. She had been desensitized to the Venturi's charm.

They even got to see Derek and Luca on tv a few times given their amazing seats. Watching them together made Casey's heart swell. Her favorite boys. They looked like they were having a blast, sitting there with their matching blue and white maple leafs jerseys. Casey wanted the moment captured and framed.

"Ok, so it's not _so_ bad," Sky finally admitted later on that night when they were cleaning up the aftermath.

Casey just smiled in response, enjoying her small victory.

* * *

"Dad," Sky started, they were on their way home from one of their Daddy-Daughter dinners they had implemented since moving. This one was specifically for American thanksgiving. It was the first one Sky was missing out on so Derek wanted to do something special for her.

"Hmm?" Derek hummed, his fingers tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing. It was his turn to control the music and he was enjoying his selection way better than Sky's. (She had recently gotten into Kpop and although he could recognize that it was good, he missed being able to sing along.)

"Why don't you ever call aunt Casey your step-sister?" Sky asked, her eyes locked onto him, studying him.

Derek internally groaned. Why were these kids so interested in his weird relationship with Casey? Couldn't they just... Let it go? "I tried, at first. Sort of. But not really. It's just… she's not my sister or my step sister. Never has been. Never will be," he replied with a sigh. And it was true. They had their 'stepbrother' 'same difference' conversation before heading off to Queens together, but it wasn't the same, not at all. But regardless, he didn't want Casey to be his step- _anything_. And he was pretty sure she felt the same.

"Why not?"

Derek took a deep breath. Questions like that were hard to answer, and he didn't like to lie to his kid. He tried his very best to tell her the truth, always. Even when it was hard. "I don't know, kiddo. It just didn't sit right with me. Lizzie, sure. 100%. I know you don't like sports, but have you seen her on the soccer field? Even when she's rusty and hasn't played in a while, she's still amazing. She's like my long lost sister. It just clicked! Nora? Grade A stepmom material. Hell, mom-mom material if we're being honest. But Casey? No, not Casey. She's something else entirely..."

He was getting too close to the truth. Too close to telling her daughter about what Casey really meant to him. He was pretty sure his family, Lizzie, Ed and Marti, they knew. They _had_ to know. They gave the pair knowing looks all the time. Made little side comments when the parents weren't looking. But no one ever talked about it. Not openly anyway.

"I wish Casey were my mom instead of my aunt," Sky murmured under her breath, turning to look out the window instead. "Luca is so lucky."

Derek sucked in a breath. Fuck. _Fuck fuck fuck_. He knew Sky had a shitty mom. But that… _fuck_. How was he supposed to answer that? He couldn't exactly say ' _You and me both kid!_ ' So instead he said, "I'm sorry, honey. You hit the world's worst mom jackpot," he spoke gently, picking his words very carefully. "But, I'm hoping you don't feel the same way about your dear old dad..." he trailed off, clearly fishing for compliments. He peeked at her from the corner of his eye to see her reaction.

"Never," she replied with a soft smile. So maybe Derek wasn't so bad.

* * *

The kid's report cards came in. Sky had straight A's… with the exception of the gym. But they all saw that coming. The girl hated organized sports.

Luca came in with mostly B's and two C's. (Literature and history. The boy hated writing papers.)

All in all, not bad at all. The parents were both feeling pretty good about the outcome. Still, Derek took Luca's report card out of Casey's hand and replaced it with Sky's. It felt symbolic to appreciate both report cards equally even if they weren't technically co-parenting.

"Hey," Casey smiled, calling for Derek's attention from across the kitchen island.

Derek's eyes were still locked on Luca's grades. "Hm?" he asked, not really paying attention to her.

"I think we make a pretty good team, Venturi," she replied, her voice filled with pride.

Derek looked up and gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah, I guess you're not so bad McDonald," he shrugged.

* * *

Derek woke up to tapping on his shoulder. He groaned, opening his eyes to see his daughter standing in front of the couch. Sleeping in the living room had its cons, but this was not one of them. "Hey," he murmured. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust but when they did he recognized the look on her face. She had had a nightmare. It was the only time she got clingy and needy. And although it broke his heart that she had to go through those scary dreams, he was always more than happy to cuddle his kid.

"Can I…" she started, pointing at the blanket. She didn't want to say it. She was getting old and was embarrassed.

Derek smiled sitting up, opening his blanket up to his daughter. She sat next to him, curling up in his arms. Laying her head on his chest. Derek wrapped the blanket and his arms around his daughter protectively. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked, leaning his head against the top of hers. His voice was still thick with sleep. He would probably fall asleep sitting up like that. But still, he had to check-in.

She shook her head. She never did.

Derek started dozing off when he heard footsteps on the stairs. When he finally opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of a very sleepy Casey wearing one of Mike's shirts as pjs. The nightshirt riding up on her thighs, giving Derek a peek at those legs.

"Everything ok?" she asked, yawning and stretching the shirt moving up with her.

He looked away quickly and nodded. "Just getting some cuddles in," he murmured, not giving up the truth. That was between him and Sky and not even Casey would know about it. Not from him at least.

Casey frowned. "Can I join you? I haven't been able to cuddle Luca since he learned to walk," she explained, rolling her eyes.

Smiling, Sky lifted the blanket out to Casey. Casey took a seat on the other side of Sky, sandwiching her between the parents. Casey curled up around Sky, cuddling her. The trio remained there together for a few minutes, sleepy eyes drifting off.

At some point, Luca's voice woke them all up from their light slumber. "Where's my invite?" the boy's grumpy voice asked them. His voice was low and raspy.

Casey just smiled, opening up the blanket to let Luca join the fun. Wordlessly he took the little bit of space left on the crowded couch and curled into his mom's side. He was definitely too big to be the little spoon. But it didn't matter, Casey wrapped her arms around her boy anyway, pressing a kiss to his moppy head of hair, and surprisingly heard no complaints. Somehow the four of them ended up on the couch in the middle of the night cuddling and it was beyond cute.

But, it was the middle of the night, and Derek's bed was the couch… So, after a while, he spoke up. "Hate to ruin the family bonding and cuddle sesh, but you all have bedrooms and I have a living room, so…" he trailed off. He had to drive into the city in the morning for a meeting, and it would appear that he would be doing it with zero sleep.

Luca turned to his mom with an idea in his eyes. "I'm not ready to go through dad's stuff, but we need to clean up the basement so uncle Derek can have some space...and a real bed," Luca decided. At that moment he didn't sound like a teenage boy. No, he sounded older almost. Like little Luca was maturing and growing up.

Guilt flooded into Derek. That's not what he meant. That was not why he made the comment. He really just wanted to stretch out his legs and get a few hours of sleep. He didn't need more space. The couch was just fine. "No! No, I'm fine Lu. I swear. I just-" he started.

Casey cut him off. "I think that's a great idea, sweetie."

* * *

It took all weekend but with Casey and Luca taking the lead, they got the basement cleared up. They boxed up a lot of Mike's stuff. Putting it in piles of 'save' and 'donate'. They even managed to clear out the small extra bedroom and make it into Derek's bedroom. They also fix up the den so Derek could work there and review footage without worrying about hogging the big tv in the living room.

"So, how are you settling in?" Casey asked, peeking into Derek's new room.

"All good" he replied, taking a seat on his new bed. It had been a while since he had slept on a regular bed. He would sleep like the dead.

Derek looked at Casey and then at the framed picture of Mike that hung on the wall right next to her. He wasn't sure why it felt like the right time, but he had something to get off his chest. "Can I be honest," he winced, worried as his eyes drifted over a picture of Mike in his uniform just staring at him. (Would they be mad if he took that picture down?)

"Hmm?"

"I hated him," Derek finally admitted. He wasn't sure if it would be a surprise, but it felt nice to say it out loud.

Casey traced his line of vision to the picture frame on the wall. "You hated my dead husband?" She replied in a flat tone like she simply could not believe he had said that. (But also, she really _could_ believe it)

Derek nodded. "And I can say that cause, I know he hated me too. At first at least." Derek and Mike had a heart to heart before the wedding. It sucked, but it was something they both needed. The worst part about it was they he knew he'd love Mike, if it weren't for Casey.

"He came into your life just as we…" Derek trailed off looking passed Casey and out into the empty den. He wanted to make sure the coast was clear and they were alone. Still, he dropped his volume just in case. "We were so close, you know? You were finally open to…" he stopped not being able to say it aloud. But he was finally getting her around to the idea that they could be something real. Something legit. Something _public_. He shook his head. "And then Mike walks in," Derek rolled his eyes at the crystal clear memory that haunted him. "And he's charming and handsome and fucking perfect. And life with him would be easy," he groaned.

Life with Derek would not have been easy. It would be really fucking hard. Between the parents and the family. Between the media and the spotlight as soon as he was drafted? They had gotten into so many arguments about it. Casey just wasn't ready for all of that. But Derek was tired of being the black sheep. The secret. The guy who took a back seat when they were home. His patience was wearing thin, so yeah he kept pushing her, and that was where he went wrong. She wasn't ready. He probably pushed her right into Mike's arms...

"He just walked in and stole your heart. I didn't stand a damn chance against Prince charming. I don't even know why I tried. I knew it was coming." Derek took in a deep breath, suddenly he was twenty again, getting heart shattered by Casey McDonald. It felt like a break up even though they weren't 'together' but they were. He was so in love with her. And he liked to believe that she loved him too. But she had her reservations, all of which he understood, but she was so close to giving in, to _trying_. _  
_

"Yeah, I hated his guts in the beginning." Derek finally finished, looking up at her. It felt like a weight had been lifted saying it out loud to her like that. But at the same time, his heart ached at the memory. At the heartbreak. After they ended whatever they were, she very publicly chose Mike. He was all over her social media. She was parading him around the family. Almost proving to Derek that it was real, that it was worth it.

But he didn't need any of that. So, he let it go. He let her go.

He dropped off the face of the earth, throwing himself into hockey. His routine shifted from class, the gym and hockey, all day every day. But then he finished off his senior year and got drafted into the Tampa Bay Lightning. He loved the idea of being that far from home. From her. He thought the distance could heal his stupid heart. So he packed his things and left, not bother to say goodbye. He wants to be cruel. He wanted to hurt her.

Casey and Mike got married a year later. It was only then that Derek started to let go of his anger towards Mike. It wasn't his fault after all. Mike had no idea what he walked into, but he put it together after the fact. So Derek got past his jealousy and was learned to be happy for her. At least she had found a good guy. And he realized, she was right. It wouldn't have worked out between them. Even if it wasn't Mike, it would have been another guy, and it would have never been him. At least Mike loved her unconditionally. He was happy she had found that in the end.

Derek's eyes found Casey. She was still leaning against the doorframe, eyes locked on the ceiling like she was deep in her memories. "Were you really jealous?" she asked softly. Almost as if it wasn't a real question for him to answer.

"Completely," he admitted quickly. No doubt about it, he wanted to make sure that was clear. He was 100% jealous of Michael Seater. He didn't understand why she even had to ask. He thought it was obvious. Maybe she needed to hear it out loud to believe it. "We were so close to Case," he repeated, closing his eyes, the memories flooding him again. He had to stop talking about it. His heart couldn't take it. But bits of those fights the screaming matches still filtered through the haze of his mind.

Casey sucked in a breath, not ready for his honesty. She must have thought he'd deny it. Brush it off like a joke. But he was done doing that. But eventually, she replied. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I had my fair share of jealousy throughout the years. Maybe it was your turn," she turned to him, a faint smile on her lips. She was trying to break the tension in the room, but it wasn't working.

Derek couldn't imagine Casey jealous. Not of anyone in his life. She had always been center stage for him. Till Sky came along. Derek just shook his head at the ridiculous notion. _You've always been it for me,_ he wanted to say but didn't. Because Mike's picture was still staring down at him, he could feel it. And he's tired of showing her his heart and getting nothing back. He was stupid to think it could ever be more. He would never be good enough for her.

But then again, he was an idiot. A glutton for punishment. "There was only ever you," he whispered, throwing himself back onto the bed, not being able to look at her (or Mike) any longer.

Casey let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, you know. I don't think if I ever apologized for how thing-"

"Please don't," he stopped her. Because he did not want an apology.

Casey cleared her throat, ready to change the subject. "Okay," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Well, I wanted to talk to you about something," she started off, gently.

Derek pulled a pillow behind his head, angling himself up a bit, so he could still see her from where he laid.

"Now that you have your own space..." she trailed off, biting her words and her lip, her eyes drifting towards his bedroom door with a lock on it. _Privacy_. Something he hadn't had since moving in and crashing on the couch for months.

He knew where she was going with it. And she had nothing to worry about. He sighed, he was already defeated and now annoyed with where the conversation had gone. He rubbed his tired face. "Case, Sky has never seen me with another woman. No one besides her mother. I don't bring anyone home. And I wouldn't do that to you in _your_ home," he clarified with a pointed stare.

She was quiet for a while. "Okay," she nodded eventually. "Yeah, thanks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may have been my fav chapter to write so far. It was actually WAY longer and I had to move like 5 scenes over to the next chapter. Anywhos, what was your favorite part? Mine was the moment at the bar. (Also, I love Batman and will use any excuse to put an easter egg in things I write.)
> 
> Did you realize Casey's dead husband Mike is really our precious MSeats? (Granted a version of MSeats who ends up having a dirty blonde son, but suspend your beliefs on genetics for like a second.) Who else did you think I was going to marry her off too? [Feel kinda bad for killing him off tho.]
> 
> Also, did you notice that Casey and Derek sorta did couples costumes? Casey, a hockey player, Derek, the ref. And the idea that Halloween is their holiday, ugh I love that for them. (Also Wednesday Adam, a bank robber, a referee and a LA kings hockey jersey. Just imagine that monochromatic family picture, I live for it!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one with all the flashbacks.

**Flashback…  
  
** " _You...you're not_ actually _dating this guy are you?"_

_"...would it be so wrong if I did? If I liked him?"_

_"Are you serious?"_

_"He's a nice guy, Derek."_

_"Right, a nice guy. Not like me."_

_"Derek."_

_"Cause clearly you don't want a guy like me."_

_"I..."_

_"...You?"_

_"...Let's be honest here, Der. This wasn't going to work. We had our fun, here in college where no one knows us. But in the real world..."_

_"So, that all it took huh? One pretty boy asking to study with you? That's all it took for you to jump ship?"_

_"That's not what-"_

_"Was any of it real, Case?"_

_"Of course it was."_

_"I should have known better. Girls like you...guys like me? Only in the movies."_

_"Derek it's not like that."_

_"It doesn't matter, anyway. It's not like we were together, right?"_

_"...Right."_

_"I was just a quick fuck. A way for the perfect Casey McDonald to blow off some steam. Your dirty little secret."_

_"Derek."_

_"Whatever, Case. Go have your fun with prince charming. Just don't come crawling back when it doesn't pan out."_

Sky had her nightmares, but Derek… he had some of his own. Memories of their fights; the really bad screaming matches, the quiet ones that ended in days of ignoring each other, and then the final one. Those fights haunted him. Not every night, but every once in a while. It was enough. Enough to never be able to forget the things they said to each other.

He liked the idea of balming Casey, but he was just as much to blame. He pushed her straight into Mike's arms. He didn't tell her how he felt. He just got mad and defensive cause he was hurt and sad. He didn't tell her that yeah, it would bother him if she dated Mike. That yes he still wanted more with her. He wanted to give them a real shot. He had said all that in the past before there was a real threat. But in the end, Mike was a good guy, and Derek...well Derek was _Derek_. He'd fuck up eventually. He'd lose her one way or another. So letting her go was probably his best bet.

(They were both to blame in the end.)

* * *

**Flashback...**

Derek was home for Casey's wedding. Casey was getting married. And he would be there. On his best behavior. He would smile and pretend that he was ok. And he would do it all for her.

But he quickly learned that weddings weren't just a one event kind of thing, nowadays. No, there was the wedding itself, plus the bridal shower, the bachelor and bachelorette party, and the rehearsal dinner. Thankfully the latter turned out to be a "rustic style" bbq in the Venturi-McDonald back yard.

Derek managed to get out of most of the events. But the rehearsal dinner was two days before the actual wedding, so he was already in town and couldn't get out of it, especially when it was happening in the family's backyard. As far as wedding events go, it wasn't so bad. He was in his childhood home, so it was very low pressure. _Mostly_. There was no need to dress up or to perform. Thankfully he wasn't in the bridal party and could fly under the radar. He just had to eat, mingle, and avoid the happy couple as much as possible.

At least it was that's what he thought till he spotted Mike making his way towards Derek. He came with a peace offering, handing Derek one of the fancy IPA beers that were in low supply.

"Thanks," Derek murmured, accepting the beer and knowing it was a bribe of sorts.

After everything that had happened, he had mixed feelings about Mike. He did his very best to not be alone with the guy. But he was being cornered and he had a very bad feeling about the whole thing.

"Can I ask you something?" Mike asked cautiously, stuffing one hand in the pocket of his slacks. He wore a blue short-sleeve button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up just enough to see his tattoo peeking out the bottom. Mike went to Queens to please his parents but he wanted to be a firefighter like his father. He started his training the second he graduated and had just started working full time. His tattoo was of the maltese cross, a popular tattoo among firefighters. From the bit Derek could see, it was intricate and detailed. But besides the little bit of ink peeking out, Mike looked like the picture-perfect groom to match Casey.

Derek looked at the beer in his hand, eyeing it like a bomb. "This feels like a trap," he replied dryly, taking a few pulls anyway, suddenly wishing it was something a bit stronger.

Mike just smiled in response shaking his head. That charming bastard had a contagious smile and Derek hated him for it. "I'm serious." And then his face changed and his tone hardened. Derek's stomach turned. "How'd you let her go?" Mike finally asked the question that had clearly been plaguing him.

Derek felt an arrow go through his chest. The air escaped his lungs. What? Was Mike serious? Was he _really_ asking Derek that two days before marrying Casey? Around their family? There were too many things wrong with the question. Derek debated his options. He thought about denying it. And then he thought about just walking away. He really considered it for half a second. But what was the point? Clearly Mike knew _something_ and didn't seem put off by what the implications of that question meant.

Finally, Derek came up with an answer. One that was neutral, mostly. "She was never mine to let go of," Derek simply explained, shrugging. It was odd, having that conversation with Mike. But what in his life was normal anyway?

Mike considered the answer. Letting it bounce around his mind for a second. His eyes moving back and forth considering it. Then he rephrased his question and tried again. "Ok, so why did you stop fighting for her?"

This question was direct. No way around it. "Mike," Derek sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He turned around, away from their family, keeping his eyes forward to the backyard- towards the trees, his eyes drifting up to the sky wishing he could just be swallowed by the ground. Why were they talking about this? Wasn't it weird? It felt weird to Derek. But Mike was different. Clearly. Maybe he really was the guy for Casey...

Mike bit his lip and looked back at Casey for a few seconds. Derek turns, his eyes found her too. She was beautiful. Radiant. A perfect bride to be in a flowy white boho styled dress and a delicate flower crown adorning her head. A true princess from a fairytale.

Mike's voice changed again. It softened. He sounded vulnerable, almost. "I have to know Derek. In case she wakes up one day and decides that she picked the wrong guy. I have to be prepared for that possibility."

Derek shook his head. "She won't," Derek promised far too quickly. Partly because if there were any chance, any inkling that she would, then there was no way Derek could feel… _ok_ with it all. And he was ok with it. It took a while, obviously. But he was ok. It still hurt, but he was happy for her. For them.

Mike didn't seem too convinced. "I gotta admit. I was surprised when she said yes, you know? Cause, she loved you. And I'm pretty sure part of her always will." Mike sighed bringing his beer bottle to his lips, almost like he needed a distraction.

Derek took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how much Mike knew, but clearly it was enough. Maybe there was a time where Casey did love Derek, but that was a different lifetime ago. "She…" _she doesn't._ He wanted to say. _She doesn't love me. Not any more. And even when she did, it wasn't very much... clearly._ That was what he believed anyway. But he really didn't want to have that conversation with Mike. Derek pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tight for just a second trying to ground himself. He wasn't dreaming. It was all real. (His life was a fucking joke.)

Taking a deep breath, he answered. "I guess real love is wanting someone to be happy, even if that means without you. Is she happy Mike?" Derek asked, turning to look at the groom, his brown eyes locked onto Mike. That was the important part. That was all Derek cared about. Her happiness.

"Do _you_ think she's happy?" Mike countered a sly smile. He was teasing. But Derek wasn't having any of that.

"She better be. Or else I might actually have to kill you," Derek countered, sounding bored with the conversation, and admittedly a little bit murderous.

Mike just smiled. "Isn't it a little late for the 'what are your intentions with Casey?' talk?"

Derek thought about it for a second. "I knew your intentions the second you walked into her life. I just need to know that you will do whatever it takes to keep her happy."

Mike remained quiet for a second and it worried Derek. "What if she'd be happier with someone else? I'd let her go. Obviously. I just..." Mike trailed off, kicking a rock around with the toe of his stupid boat shoes.

Derek put his hands on Mike's shoulders, forcing the groom to look him in the eyes. It was the closest he had even been to the guy. He could feel his family's eyes on them when he did this but he ignored them. He's giving the groom a pep talk, apparently. "Ok, I'm going to need you to listen to me real good. Cause I don't have many cute family moments. And most of then are reserved for-"

"Casey?" Mike interrupted

Derek made a face of disgust because _ew, no_. Casey was not his family, but they were not going down that road. " _Marti_ ,'' Derek clarified, shaking his head at the ridiculous notion. "So, here's the thing, Mikey. She loves you. Ok? She picked you. She said yes to marrying you. You have nothing to worry about, ok?" Derek tried his best to get the point across. He would not be a threat to their big happy family. He was promising it to Mike. And he could only hope that man could read between the lines and understand him.

_Marry her. Make her happy. I'll stay out of the way. I promise._

"Yeah. Yeah, ok," Mike nodded eventually, letting Derek's words sink in. "Thanks, man," he smiled. That stupid charming smile of his. Derek wanted to punch him. (And hug him.) Feelings were weird. That's why he avoided them.

Derke nodded too, dropping his hands down. He took a deep breath and walked away before Mike could ask another question.

Derek made his way inside the house, taking a seat at the stairs at the front of the house that was thankfully empty. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't be in that house, around his family. (Around her.) He needed a wedding free evening. He slipped his phone out and sent a text to an old friend.

**You busy?**

It was a bad idea. But he was full of bad ideas.

And within the minute, she answered with two words. **Come over.**

So clearly his bad ideas were being backed by the universe, so who has he to deny them?

He finished his beer, taking the empty bottle into the kitchen. He found Marti in there snacking on all the finger food. He smiled, ruffling her hair. His little sister was somehow an anchor for him. She scrunched her nose in his direction but said nothing. (She suspected he was struggling with everything, but she didn't push.)

Then his phone vibrated in his pocket. His car had arrived. So he winked at Marti and slipped out unnoticed by anyone else for a night of forgetting.

* * *

**Flashback…**

He did it. He put on his fancy suit. He sat through the ceremony. He didn't do a single thing to provoke her. He stood out of her way. And he was headed straight towards the open bar for a well deserved drink when Lizzie, the maid of honor, caught him by the arm and started pulling him away.

"What-" he started.

"She needs you," was all Lizzie said.

And then he started walking because that's what he did when Casey McDonald (Seater) needed him. He showed up. No matter what.

Lizzie took him upstairs to the bridal sweet where all the girls had gotten ready earlier that morning. It looked like a closet exploded in there. Shoes and bags cluttered the floor. Bras and other undergarments decorated the fancy coffee table and couch. And then there's Casey. Sitting by the window in her white puffy dress. He had to give it to her, she looked stunning. Her hair up in curls. Her makeup was done all glowy and sweet. But she looked so... _tired_.

Lizzie shut the door behind him and he was definitely worried that she had locked them in.

"Uh, hey," he started. Unsure of what to say. Because she hadn't moved an inch and didn't seem to have even noticed him.

"Hey," she replied softly, her voice a little wobbly with the one word. But still, she didn't look at him.

Derek pushed some things on the couch and cleared a spot for himself to sit. "Lizzie said you needed me?" he asked, confused.

Finally, she turned towards him and he could see her face. She didn't look like a woman who just got married. Wasn't she supposed to be taking pictures? Wasn't that what they did during the cocktail hour between the ceremony and the reception?

"Thank for coming, Der. After everything…" she trailed off, looking down at her hands and her perfectly manicured finger and the sparkly ring that was there. She looked like she had more to say.

"Why wouldn't I come?" he asked softly. Because yeah, he liked to make himself hurt. Why wouldn't he show up?

Casey bit her lip like she was biting back her words. "You know, part of me thought you'd stop it. Pull something." Her lips tipped up into a sort of half smile, like it would be funny.

"Why would I do that?" He promised to behave. Did she expect him to stop her wedding? (Did she _want_ him to?)

"I don't know. It was a silly thought," she shrugged taking a deep breath and her eyes found his again. "But, thank you,. I just wanted to catch you, you know, before you left again."

 **Again**. It felt like she was calling him out. Did she know that he had left the night of the rehearsal dinner? Sure, he did love to leave without saying anything. But it felt like an insult. "Right," he replied dryly. Unsure of what else to say. _Your welcome? I was planning on sneaking out during the bride and groom dance_? Because...he wasn't expected to actually stay, right?

"Congratulations on LA," she added, her voice going up an octave like she had to fake her enthusiasm for him. (And that kind of... hurt? She knew how much hockey meant to him.)

"Yeah, thanks," he nodded politely. He was off to LA the next day. His stuff was already there. Pre-season training was just about to start. And what perfect timing! He could throw himself into practice and the gym and train till he couldn't think straight anymore. (Till he couldn't spell her name or remember the taste of her lips.)

"I hear the families already planning a visit for your first game."

It was still two months away but coordinating a family trip was hard. They did the same thing for his first home game in Florida when he was on the TampaBay Lightning. But Casey wasn't there for that one. They weren't even on speaking terms then. They started speaking only after he found out about her engagement. He wanted to be the bigger man and congratulate her.

"Is it ok if I come?" she asked softly. "I've missed my best friend," she mumbled, looking down at her hands again. Like she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

Her words shattered the last little bits of his heart that he managed to tape up. _Her best friend._ Yeah, he could see that. She was definitely his best friend at Queens. And then he lost that part of her too. "Yeah, of course, Case," he smiled nodding. Cause he was a glutton for punishment.

* * *

**Flashback...**

The first time Derek saw Casey after Mike passed, it was at the Venturi-McDonald household. She didn't know he was coming home to Canada. No one did, it was a surprise. So when she walked in, and her eyes landed on him standing in the middle of the living room, a coffee mug frozen halfway to his mouth… yeah, it was weird. There was a thick tension that filled the space between them. They both froze, eyes locked onto one another's. They hadn't seen each other in almost a year. So yeah, it was definitely weird… for half a second. Cause that's all it took for her to drop her bag and walk over to him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his chest like it was an everyday occurrence. Confused and slowly, like he was approaching a wounded animal, Derek wrapped his arms around her too.

Everyone just stared, but on some level they understood it. George and Nora quietly ushered everyone out of the living room to give them some space. The family knew better than to get in the middle of Casey and Derek. Normally they were fighting, but every once in a while they weren't. (Thankfully the kids were in the backyard too busy to notice the weird little reunion.)

The silent tears came soon after. Although he had made it abundantly clear that he hated tears, he had gone off to college with Casey. So, he had to get over that pretty early on. (She was very homesick and sad the first few months.)

"Hey, I got you," he murmured into her hair when he realized what was happening. He walked them over to the couch so she could sit. But still, she clung him. He held her while she cried and rubbed his hands up and down her back and she sobbed into his chest. He didn't say a word. He was just there for her, cause that's what she needed. Eventually, she pulled away from her and looked at him with her red glassy eyes and tear streaked face. Her makeup was ruined but he didn't care. She was still just as beautiful to him.

"Your home," was all she said. Her voice sounded so small and vulnerable. Her eyes studied his face like he was a work of art.

"Yeah," he breathed out, pushing the hair that was sticking to her tear clad face. "Just for a few days," he clarified, clearing his throat. It still felt a little weird. He was still waiting for Mike to walk in and find her curled up in his arms. But Mike wouldn't, obviously. But Luca could...

Derek thought about his life choice and how it had led them to that moment on the couch with her. His daughter, he decided. It was all her fault. She just had to come to Canada! And suddenly Casey was in his arms again. It was like he was 18 all over again.

Derek spent that week in Canada, spring break, trying to figure out what his new normal with Casey was. When she was with Mike, he stayed as far away as possible. He respected her relationship and her happiness. But after… It was just so weird. He went from keeping her at a distance to having her in his arms. It would be an adjustment to be close to her again, without feeling completely guilty. (Only a little guilty.)

But that way she opened herself up to him again, to his touch…. The way she'd squeeze his arm in passing, almost like she was proving to herself that he really was home. Or the way she'd hug him like she didn't want to let him go, scared he'd disappear. He allowed himself to relax into her touch again. It took some time but it happened.

But at the end of that week, she was asking him to move in with her. So, progress, right?

* * *

**Current day...**

Derek heard crying when he stepped out of the bathroom that night. Naturally, he tiptoed to Sky's bedroom door. He was well aware that assuming his teenage daughter was the one crying was sexist and wrong of him. But it was a feminine sob and his daughter was on the forefront of his mind so… But thankfully he heard his daughter chatting away on a call or something. So the crying wasn't coming from there.

He looked up and his eyes landed on Casey's bedroom door just the slightest bit ajar, light spilling out from the crack. Of course. Slowly he made his way into her bedroom. A place he avoided like the plague. It was still full of her husband's things, practically a shrine, and it made Derek very uncomfortable. But none of that mattered when Casey was clearly upset. He wasn't sure if it was because of the conversation they had earlier or more likely, because of her grief.

He found her sitting on the floor, her back against the bed, sobbing into her hands. Without giving it a second thought, he closed the door behind him, the kids didn't need to know a thing. He crossed the room and sank on the floor next to her. His bad knee cried out in pain, but he ignored it.

"Come here," he murmured, pulling her into his lap, not caring about the pain radiating from his knee. "I got you,"

Part of him wanted to ask. Is it me? Or is it Mike? But he didn't live in a world where Casey McDonald cried over him. No, she had to be still mourning. It had barely been a year. And with the holidays coming up…

So he let her cry it out on his chest, running his hands up and down her back and arms, trying to soothe the violent sobs that wracked through her body. It was way worse than Halloween. He rested his chin on the top of her head. Every so often he'd remind her to breathe and asked if she needed water. But she didn't answer. There was no use telling her it would be ok because it wouldn't. She lost her husband. Her husband who she loved and adored and had built a future with. And nothing Derek said was going to remedy that, so why bother? He just held her till the tears started to slow and she returned to some version of ok.

It felt like hours had passed, his butt was numb given his position, but he didn't dare move. She needed him so he'd be there all night if he had to.

"Der," came her voice, broken and shattered.

"Hmmm?"

"Why are you half-naked?" she asked, the tiniest sliver of humor lacing her voice.

Derek looked down at his body. He had completely forgotten about it. All he wore was a pair of gray sweatpants, slung low on his hips. "Just got out of the shower when I heard you. Didn't get to grab a shirt downstairs," he explained wincing. Suddenly it all felt inappropriate, but there was only one shower in the house so…

"I'm sorry," she murmured, pulling away from his chest that had been wet with all her tears.

Derek shook his head. "Don't be. I'm glad I was the one to hear you," _rather than your son_ is what he meant, but didn't actually say. He ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her tear streaked face. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier." He was embarrassed actually. It was stupid to pick a fight. To harp on the past. To upset her further.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. If only you'd let _me_ apologize," she countered, ever the stubborn one.

"I don't want an apology, Casey. What's done is done. It happened. I'm over it," he lied easily.

Pain flashed across her eyes for just a second. "Okay," she whispered, closing her eyes tight, her lip wobbling a bit. She was trying not to cry again and Derek knew it.

"Hey, no. Don't do that. Don't cry. Not over me. Never me."

She opened her glassy eyes and gave him a soft smile like she was talking to a child, trying to break it to him gently. "Oh, I've cried rivers over you, Derek Venturi," she said in a voice so broken it nearly destroyed him.

 _What?_ He didn't want to ask. He didn't want to go down that road. So, he just shook his head in utter disbelief. "No, you haven't," he decided, if only to make himself feel better. "You just need a break, Case. A girls night maybe?"

But then he thought about Halloween and the bar. That was too much. She had to start small. "Call Em, get dolled up maybe? Get wine drunk at her place and vent a little?" he offered, still keeping a hold on her waist. He wanted her to feel comforted...not alone. He was there. He wasn't Mike, but he was there and he would help however he could. He hated to see her hurting in that way.

"Yeah, maybe," she replied, not daring to move away from his warm arms.

Eventually, she went soft against him. They stayed like that for a little while longer. But in the silence and calm, she drifted off in his arms. After a while he managed to get them both up, putting most of her weight on his good knee and carried her up and into bed. Of course, she was tired and exhausted, her body spent from all that crying. Gently he tucked her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, turning off the lights and closing the door behind him.

Maybe that's why he was back in Canada... Not because of Luca or Sky. But because Casey needed him.

* * *

After his injury, Derek's knee would flare up when it's cold and rainy. And with the Canadian cold creeping in (and the whole thing where he sat on the floor for 2 hours with Casey in his lap) he was in a lot of pain. His knee was swollen, throbbing, and radiating pain up and down his entire leg. He always knew the risks of playing hockey, but he would still say it was worth it.

"You hiding from me, Venturi?" Casey teased the next afternoon, making her way down into the basement den where Derek was lying on the couch. She probably thought he was avoiding her due to the incident the night before. But he wasn't.

He had his leg elevated on a few pillows and his knee wrapped with an ice pack. On the coffee table in front of him, he had all the staples. All his medicine (pain med, anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxers). Some icy hot topical gel to rub on it. And Gatorade. Casey's eyes landed on his knee immediately.

"Sorry hun, I can't really make it up the stairs today," he offered with a weak grin. Thankfully Sky knew exactly what to do on days his knee wasn't cooperating. She had run around the house getting him all his things that morning before school. She mothered him when he was like that and he couldn't lie, he enjoyed it.

Casey's eyes were saucers as she approached him. Her fingers instinctively reached out to touch his bad leg. Her fingers skimmed over the length of his calf and bare thigh gently, avoiding the iced knee completely. Her warm touch was soft and he welcomed it like a purring cat.

"What's wrong?" she asked, the worried mother in her flaring up. She was seconds away from checking his temperature and he knew it.

Derek shook his head, trying to calm her worries. "Just a little achy. I'll be fine by tomorrow. Sky took care of me," he explained. He didn't tell her how much pain he was in or how much medication he was on. He didn't want her to worry. And he definitely didn't want her to connect the dots as to why he was in so much pain.

Casey sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, worry echoing across her features. "God, I remember that game like it was yesterday…" she trailed off, closing her eyes tight like she was reliving it.

Derek didn't want to think about that day. He lost Casey. And then on that fateful day... he lost hockey and his entire career. All he had left was Sky, and she was so young when it happened. But she was the only thing that kept him going. His little girl and her toothy smile kept his depression at bay and kept him going to physical therapy every single day. Eventually, his knee healed, mostly anyway. But it took a while for his emotional wound to heal. It felt like going through another breakup, retiring at such a young age. He was only just getting started…. Eventually, he was able to watch hockey again. And a few months later he even managed to go to a game. Progress was still progress, no matter how slow it went. (But there was still a hockey puck sized hole in his chest.)

Casey shook her head clear of those thoughts. "Do you need anything?" He could see she wanted to help, to do something so she wouldn't feel useless.

"Well…" he trailed off, a mischievous glint in his eye. He was desperate to get them back to normal. Off the sad and mopey train, they had been on. "I've spent the day on the couch working. I could use a break. Want to watch a movie with me?" He just wanted to spend some quality time with her.

Casey beamed at him. "Of course," she replied, curling up on the opposite end of the couch, giving him as much room as possible, the remote control already in her hand. "What are you in the mood for?" she asked, already clicking into the rom-com selection.

* * *

Casey had decided to take Derek's advice. She was going out and having girls night with Emily and a few friends. "So, how do I look?" Casey asked the trio spinning to give them the full view, the skirt of her dress billowing out around her. It was the first time Casey had dressed up in forever. She wore a little black dress, hair curled, and a bold red lip.

She was stunning. But then again there was never a moment where she wasn't. He noticed a bit of sparkle came back into her eyes. If Derek knew how happy girls night was going to make her, he would have suggested it months ago. He wasn't exactly sure what they were doing, but it didn't matter. She was all dolled up and some of her confidence was starting to come back. That's all that mattered.

"Beautiful!" Sky replied instantly, smiling up at the aunt from the kitchen room table where she was finishing up a project.

"Yeah, you look real pretty mom," Luca admitted with a hint of a smile. Nothing too much, just enough. He was also finishing up some homework. (And not so secretly getting Sky to help him with it.)

"You look like you belong to the real housewives of Ontario," Derek teased from the kitchen because of course, he would say something like that. He couldn't tell her how beautiful she really looked. Not in front of the kids at least. But maybe, later on, that night, he'd whisper it in her ear in passing.

"I'm ignoring you!" Casey sang, clearly feeling herself, giving herself a once over by the mirror at the front, touching up her lipstick.

"Hey, you'll call me when you want to come home, right?" Derek asked. He knew there would be many bottles of wine. And he didn't want her getting into a cab when he was available.

"Yeah yeah," she brushed him off. He figured she'd call a cab instead, but he wanted to be the one to get her.

"You got this?" she asked Derek for the 100th time that evening. As if the kids weren't old enough to watch themselves. As if Derek didn't raise a kid on his own.

Derek rolled his eyes, not bothering to answer her stupid question. "Go away, McDonald." he shooed her off with a dismissive hand.

"I'm going!" she sang, heels clicking against the floor as she made her way towards the door. "Be good!" She called before disappearing into the night.

They all watched her leave. Derek wasn't completely sure who that last comment was directed to.

"You know she's not actually McDonald, right?" Luca asked Derek with a pointed look.

Derek shook his head. Luca was too smart for his own good. He'd call Derek out on everything. If only he'd paid that much attention to his grade. But Derek couldn't judge...He was surprised that Sky hadn't made more comments about him and Casey. Or maybe she had noticed but kept it to herself? Whatever it was, he was glad for it.

Derek just smirked. "She'll always be McDonald to me, kid. Now, who wants to help me make pizza?"

* * *

Casey didn't call him that night... But Emily sure did. She said Casey was more than welcome to spend the night, but she was very, _very_ drunk. Naturally, Derek went to pick her up. (Of course, he did.) And he had to carry her into the car, cause she refused to put her shoes back on, and she probably wouldn't have been able to walk in them anyway.

"Derry," she sang, heavy lidded eyes, blinking up at him in awe from the passenger side seat. She had a dopey smile pulled across her wine stained lips.

"Hmm?" he asked, knowing that drunk Casey was a talker. Until she passed out and started snoring that is.

"I missed you," she admitted. Plain and simple.

Derek reached a hand over to her, it landed on her bare thigh, her dress had ridden up. He was about to pull away, suddenly feeling like he had crossed the line, when she covered his hand with her own, squeezing his fingers, and in turn making him squeeze her leg.

"You were only gone for a few hours." he reminded her, but his heart still swelled with the idea that Casey could miss him.

"No. Before. I missed you before. Three thousand, five hundred, and twenty three miles. That's how far you were from me. I googled it."

That number was familiar. She must have meant from his home in LA and her home in Ontario.

"I missed my best friend," she murmured softly, eyes locked on the passenger side window.

He was her best friend during their time in Queens. They were an unlikely pair, but they worked somehow. He didn't want to say how much he missed her because he _still_ missed her while he was sitting right next to her. A different kind of void in his heart. "I'm back now Case," he promised, pulling her hand up to his lips. Pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

"Hmm," she hummed, with a little content smile as her eyes fluttered closed.

The snoring started before Derek pulled into the garage. But he figured as much. So as gently and softly as he could, he pulled her out of the car and carried her inside. And when Derek tucked her in that night, it felt like progress. "You looked beautiful tonight, honey," he murmured into her ear ever so gently.

She hummed a response but he knew she was too far gone to hear him.

Yeah. Drunken progress.

* * *

Christmas was spent at the Venturi-McDonald household. There was a massive sleepover on Christmas eve with everyone. The house was complete chaos with all the kids and grandkids running around. It was hard to maintain any order besides the kids ripping open presents when they woke up that morning.

Derek took advantage of the chaos and dropped a small box onto Casey's lap. She eyed him curiously before opening up her gift, Luca and the kids otherwise occupied. He had gotten her a diamond necklace. Simple and to the point. The single diamond would shine, sitting in the hollow of her collarbone. It was a gift he had always wanted to give her. Ever since he signed on to the NHL and got his first big boy paycheck. Because she deserved something just as beautiful and shiny as she was. And he was finally in a position to give it to her.

She looked up at him in complete awe. He winked in response. No words were necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the flashbacks helped explain the relationship a bit better! The Derek and Mike scene was my favorite!  
> (I mean, imagine having these two just arguing over your happiness??)  
> Find me on Tumblr: wroteathingtoday


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA The one where they date but don't know it. (Oh, and Sky is badass.)

"So, you and Derek are like, sleeping together again...right?" Marti asked, sucking marinara sauce off her fingertips while she said it like it was a casual everyday question.

They were having a little girl's night at Marti's place. A night away from the kids just the sisters. They normally ended up at Marti's tiny apartment because it was a kid-free zone and they could speak freely. Even Marti's boyfriend Adam was kicked out for a few hours that night. And, well it did help that Marti was the chef of the family who went culinary school and came up with insane dishes. And even when she was being "lazy" and cooked regular dishes, they were still insanely good.

"What?" Casey coughed in response. She hadn't seen it coming. They were just talking about going shopping!

"She's just saying what we're all thinking,'' Lizzie added with a sly smile, taking a sip of her white wine. Her faded purple hair pulled up into a top knot at high on her head. The mom hairstyle of choice. But Lizzie was the definition of a cool mom of the trio with colored hair and a bunch of piercings. Mostly her ears; they sparkled when the light hit all the hardware she was rocking. She also had a cute little hoop nose ring she had gotten the second she turned 18. It all worked for her.

Casey groaned, blushing a bright shade of pink, unsure of what to say. No. They weren't sleeping together. (But she wouldn't mind if they were…?) Things with Derek were complicated. Things with him were _always_ complicated and that was the real problem. There was never a point in their lives that things were simple and easy between the pair. Not when they were 15 and they first met. Not when they were 18 and away from their parents for the first time. Not even when they were adults who made their own choices. No, it was always a juggling act between them. And Casey was exhausted by it.

"So, _yes_ ," Marti decided, turning to Lizzie as if she was looking for confirmation.

"No, we're not." Casey finally answered her sister. She sounded defeated because she was.

Lizzie shook her head with a soft chuckle. "No, Caseys too strung up and frustrated. She'd be a lot calmer if she was. Like she used to be in college," Lizzie replied all matter of fact like.

Her sister had made comments over the years. But never so direct and straightforward. It felt different this time. More raw and real. Maybe because of Mike. Or the _lack_ of Mike.

"You two are the worst,'' Casey decided, slouching in her seat. She wanted to let the ground devour her. Anything to get away from the conversation around the kitchen table. She wasn't even sure how she felt. How was she supposed to share it with them?

"I mean, come on, Case. Why else would you have _my_ brother move into your house? Remember how you _hated_ living with him at first?" Marti asked, trying her best not to smile. "And now you're choosing to be under one roof?" Marti shrugged, serving herself another piece of chicken parm.

Casey couldn't blame her. She had made the marinara sauce from scratch and it was incredible. Marti had gone to culinary school, something no one saw coming. But dammit she was an excellent cook. So yeah, dinners at Marti's had its perks. Her cooking was phenomenal. Casey had to promise to bring leftovers home from Derek. But Marti purposely set food aside for him before anyone was allowed to eat.

Then something clicked in Casey's mind. "Are you guys…." Casey trailed off, unsure if she was going to say it out loud. Finally, ask the question that had plagued her for so long. "Would you be cool with it? If we were, I mean?" she clarified quickly looking between her sisters. She couldn't even say it out loud.

Lizzie shrugged. "It was weird at first. The idea of it, you know? But then when I thought about how you two have always been with each other…It just clicked. Of course, I'd be cool with it if it made you two happy. But the kids…" Lizzie trailed off making a _yikes_ face.

"Yeah," Casey sighed, dropping her face into her hands. The kids. She couldn't even relish the fact that her little sister had just given her blessing. Something 18-year-old Casey would have killed for. But it didn't matter anymore. The kids were more important. If it wasn't for the kids then maybe she would finally give up all her stupid reasons and just fall face first into his arms. (If he'd still have her, that is. She wasn't too sure where he stood on the subject.)

Derek had been her safety net, her home for so many years. It was so easy going back to him, in one way or another. She found herself slipping into the old rhythm with him so easily when he moved in. Too easily. She felt Luca's eyes on hers when she touched Derek. So she had to watch herself and tiptoe around it. She didn't want her son to think she was dishonoring his father's memory. Because that's not what she was trying to do. She was just looking for the comfort she had lost.

Her life would be so much easier if she could just be _allowed_ to have him. Totally and completely. (Why couldn't he just be a guy she met at school?) But they didn't live in that world... They never would.

"Sky knows," Marti chimed in, sitting back in her chair. She was finally full after two plates of food.

And although Casey loved Martis cooking, she had lost her appetite. "What?" she asked, confused.

"Well, she doesn't _know-know_. But she knows something. She was fishing for information last week when she was here. She seemed _excited_ by the idea. I'm not surprised, she adores you. But I didn't confirm or deny, cause _I_ don't even know how deep it ever went between you too. But if you want to share with the class…" Marti teased Casey.

"It…" Casey started and stopped. She had never said it out loud. Not to anyone outside of college. Not to anyone who _knew_ them. "We were _something_ ," she cringed at her own words. How else was she supposed to describe what happened during college? They were almost together. Practically in every sense of the word. Except labels made things real and she that's exactly what she was terrified of.

"Before Mike," Lizzie added. Not a question, but a statement. Clarifying the timeline for everyone's sake.

Casey nodded. _Mike_. And then the oh too familiar feeling of guilt churned her stomach and a wave of nauseous rolled through her like clockwork.

"Oh no. Did you guys break up when Mike came into the picture?" Marti asked softly, putting the puzzle pieces together.

"Something like that," Casey admitted looking down at her hands. She hated thinking about that. Because every time she did she would find new ways it could have happened. Words that would have made it better. She was an absolute idiot for letting him go. For being so scared of her feelings, of the world, of the backlash. She was an idiot for hurting him.

Marti frowned, clearly thinking of her brother at the moment. "Well, Mikes not in the picture now," Marti murmured, practically under her breath.

"Marti!" Lizzie groaned.

* * *

Casey sat at the kitchen island nibbling on the dessert Marti had made. She couldn't stomach it at the time, so she took some to go. She thought the chocolate cake could ease her confused feelings, but she still wasn't eating much of it. She was alone in her thoughts when Derek came upstairs from the basement.

"Your home early. How are the girls?" he asked, taking a seat directly across from her, dipping a finger into the chocolate frosting. She watched him bring his finger to his mouth, his lips wrapping around the digit and his tongue peeking out to lick the chocolate clean. It was such a simple act yet so unnerving at the same time. Derek Venturi should be illegal in multiple countries.

She sighed putting her fork down, giving up on the idea of eating. Why were things so complicated? Why couldn't she just feel one way and not a million? She felt like she was a teenager again, trying to juggle her hormones. "Fine," she shrugged. Not even chocolate could make it better.

He watched her for a second. As if he was waiting on her to elaborate. And when she didn't, he pressed on, looking for answers. "You sure?" he asked, eyes narrowing on her. He must have picked up on her vibe. He was so attentive when it came to her. Sometimes it felt like Derek knew her better than she knew herself. Did he have the answers? Could he tell her what to do?

She could have lied. But he would have known. And it was heavy on her mind, so she had to ask. "Did you ever tell the kids about…" and then she pointed at the air between them, _us_. She didn't want to be overheard by the teenagers in her house.

Derek's face scrunched up in confusion, he sat up straight like the question triggered him. "The kids? You mean Ed, Lizzie, and Smarts?" he asked before shaking his head. "No, never. I knew my place." Those last words were said with resentment and she felt it like ice down her spine.

_Ouch_. Yeah, that stung. But she deserved it. She made him feel like her dirty little secret, he said as much all those years ago. And he behaved as such, a secret hidden in the shadows. All to keep her happy. But she was an idiot, she didn't know what she wanted, what she needed.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration coating his features like a mask. "Ed did ask. A long time ago. I just told him that it was better if he didn't know," Derek shrugged, stepping away like he needed to put physical space between them, and that hurt too.

She wanted to argue that his words to Ed were as good as a confirmation, but the point was moot anyway. Casey just nodded. "The girls know. Sort of. I guess on some level they always knew..." she trailed off. She felt guilty. So much guilt. For so many things. Would it ever end? She was a terrible person when it came to Derek. (And an even worse wife when it came to Mike.)

Derek nodded, wearing his 'I told you so' face. "That's exactly what I was _trying_ to tell you. But whatever. None of it matters now, anyway!" He forced a fake smile, ducking his head into the fridge looking for his leftovers. But it was just an excuse to get away from her.

Casey groaned. When did her life get so complicated? Clearly, Derek had some feelings he wasn't keen on sharing. And she couldn't blame him; she was a mixed-up bottle of emotions. Between guilt and despair and yearning and wanting Derek so bad... She wasn't sure how she kept her head on straight with all the emotional whiplash from herself. She couldn't put that on him.

The way she saw it, she was lucky enough to have two great loves in her life. But the timelines overlapped a bit, muddying the waters. First, she fell in love with the forbidden fruit, Derek. She tried her very best to fight it, but she lost. She loved him. And then, she lost him.

And as she mourned the loss of Derek, she did fall in love with Mike. It was impossible not to. He was beautiful, charming, and sweet. Too good for the world. Too good for her. But in the end, then she lost him too.

It was like I was drowning in a sea of tears, trying to suck in enough breath to keep afloat. And then in the distance, she saw her lifeboat… _Derek_.

Her feelings for the two men came in waves. One wave would wash over her and she'd feel guilty for not dying with Mike. For living when she didn't feel like she deserved too. And then she'd get hit with the second wave, her feelings about Derek. The same feelings that came crashing back onto her hard before she got a chance to even consider them. And the second she started to feel comfortable, the second she started to breathe again, another wave of Mike would pull her under. And then she'd feel guilty for her feelings for Derek. But that was nothing new. She always hated herself for not being able to be the perfect stepdaughter when it came to him.

Feelings were complicated. Her feelings especially.

She wasn't sure what the answer was. She wasn't sure what she was expected to do. Luca would be going off to college in about two years. She just had to hold off that long. She just had to keep it together and stay afloat for him. And then she could just fall apart and be alone. Maybe that was the solution?

Casey looked up at Derek who was rummaging around the kitchen heating up his leftovers. She simply covered the dessert, leaving it there for him, and went to bed. At least in her bedroom, she was safe and alone.

* * *

After finding out about Casey's lack of hockey games, Derek was determined to take her to one. Because there was just no way he lived in a world where Casey hadn't gone to a game in a decade. He had to rectify the wrong for the universe's sake. So he pulled some strings and got them the best seats in the house. Instead of the lower level-center, he got them seated in the most exclusive lounge in the entire arena, high above the ice with a perfect view, private dining, and a full bar.

The game couldn't have come at a better time. Casey had come home from a dinner with the sisters in a funk. And that had triggered Derek's mood. They had been in a weird limbo phase for a week. But Derek was convinced that it would all disappear after a night out together.

"Is it lame that I'm so excited?" Casey grinned when Derek parked the car in the parking lot at Scotiabank Arena where the Toronto Maple Leafs played.

"Not at all," he promised. "There's one more thing," he smiled, pulling out a gift bag from the back seat and dropping it in her lap.

"What's this?" she asked cautiously, eyeing the bag.

"Open it."

She did so very carefully only to find that Derek had gotten her her very own blue and white Maple Leaf jersey with McDonald stitched onto the back. "Oh, Der," she whispered, admiring the jersey like it was the finest piece of jewelry.

Derek laid his head against the headrest. "You spent too many games with my name printed on your back. I thought it was only fair," he shrugged like it as no big deal. But really, he was pulling all the stops to make it a good night for her. She needed it. ( _They_ needed it.)

"Luca's gonna be _so_ jealous," she grinned, holding the jersey to her chest like a teddy bear.

(But Derek had already gotten Luca a customized Maple Leafs jersey with Seater on the back. But Casey didn't have to know that.)

"I wasn't sure what name to put..." he admitted, suddenly embarrassed. But he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if she'd end up crying if he put Seater on it. (And he was trying to avoid tears.) And to him, she was McDonald.

Casey shook her head, turning to look at him with those big blue eyes. "I never changed my name."

Derek didn't know. (And maybe Luca didn't either?) But it was nice to hear that all those times he called her McDonald, he was calling her by her name.

* * *

Once they were out of the car Derek slipped his hands into Caseys. It was funny really. He used to be so against PDA. But when they got to college and they got used to being out and about together, Derek quickly broke his rule. So holding his hand, feeling the roughness of his calloused fingertips between her own wasn't new. The comfort level associated with it was calming. She felt safe with him. Even though a part of her was worried that it would be Halloween part 2, Derek's hand in hers ensured that no Batman would dare come close to her.

"Where are we going?" she asked confused when Derek didn't lead them towards the mass of people getting their tickets scanned and heading inside.

"It's a surprise," he told her.

He expertly led them towards a much less crowded entrance. The staff entrance Casey quickly realized. Eventually, after they got scanned she recognized that they were headed towards the locker rooms. She was vaguely familiar with the back end of the arena from when she would attend Derek's NHL games. But she had no idea what they were doing there. But it didn't matter, because Derek knew _exactly_ where they were going. She wondered how much of it was muscle memory to him. How hard it was for him to be there, and how much he must miss sitting in that locker room, playing his favorite game.

After multiple security checkpoints and clearances, they arrived in the hallway in front of the guest locker room when the LA Kings were. The back end of the arena was relatively boring. Brick walls painted stark white. Everything crisp and clean. The only pop of color was the posters hanging on the walls. Mostly promoting events, future games, concerts, or whatever was happening in the arena. It didn't matter much, they weren't out there for very long.

Before she knew it, the locker room door opened, and out came a short older man. His face was serious and stone-like, and his hair was all silver. He looked like he meant business. Casey remembered the older man. She had met once or twice but mostly she saw him on tv many times during Derek's time on the Kings.

"Derek Venturi," LA Kings coach McLellan called out, letting the locker room door close behind him.

"Hey coach," Derek beamed, letting go of Casey's hand to pull the older man into a tight embrace.

Coach wrapped his arms around Derek like an old friend. A smile tugging at the older man's mouth. "And who is this?" his former coach asked, pulling away to look at Casey with bright eyes.

"Coach McLellan, this is Casey," Derek introduced her proudly. (As if she was _his_ to present.) He didn't even give her a title, he didn't even say _my_ , anything. But still, she felt branded. And she didn't even mind it.

McLellan tilted his head to the side. "Casey...Casey," he said her name, testing it on his tongue. "Why do you look so familiar?" he asked, turning to Derek. "Did you happen to have her picture in your locker?" Coach asked, sounding like he already knew the answer.

Casey's eyes darted to Derek. There was no way. She was married by the time he joined the Kings… but the flush that covered Derek's cheeks and the way he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair gave her all the answer she needed.

"Uh, yeah. I think so," Derek finally admitted.

Casey felt an explosion of butterflies erupt in her stomach. She couldn't believe it. After everything, he still cared. Even then?

"Yeah. I remember. A picture of you and his daughter," Coach added, confirming the information to Casey. "It's very nice to meet you," the older man smiled.

"Nice to meet you too," she replied, giving him her sweetest smile. She didn't bother clarifying that they had met before. Because none of that mattered. She was still thinking about the bomb the coach had dropped on her.

Derek's hand found the small of her back. She loved the closeness, the reassurance of his touch. She loved feeling his hands on her and the way his warmth seeped into her. It calmed her racing mind.

"Clearly you are _way_ out of his league sweetheart," McLellan complimented her. "I have no idea what she sees in you Venturi, but whatever you're doing, keep it up!"

Derek grinned. "Trust me, I'm _trying_ ," he replied and Casey wanted to believe him. But was he trying? What exactly was he doing? Because in her eyes, he didn't have to do a damn thing to make her want him by her side. It all came naturally to him.

And then Casey got to watch Derek switch gears. "So, did you get my report?" he asked, switching to his professional persona. Casey didn't get to see that side of Derek anymore. It's nice to see him in his element. He knew hockey backward and forwards and with his career cut short, he figured out a way to make it still work for him. She had read parts of his reports over his shoulder as he worked. She was blown away by the connections he made. He was an excellent analyst and consultant. With all the teams that wanted his input, he had to be.

She felt Derek's hand slide from her back to curl around her waist, instinctively tucking her close. Casey bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling. It wasn't something he'd do in front of the kids. She relished in the contact and leaned into his side like a missing puzzle piece. In the moment she felt like a wife proudly standing by while her husband mingled at a work event. She thought about his coach and what he must have thought of them standing in front of him. He must have thought they were together. (They sure _looked_ like they were.)

"Yeah, I had John print it out for me. You know I hate to read on the computer. It hurts my eyes. But yes, thank you for doing that Derek."

"Yeah, no problem," Derek, smiled easily. "We should head up to our seats. Good luck tonight Coach."

* * *

"That was cool!" she beamed, trying not to sound too excited when they were finally out of earshot on their way towards their seats.

Derek shrugged like it was no big deal. "Come on, wait till you see our seats," he teased.

Casey wasn't sure how many strings Derek had to pull to get them into the exclusive members-only Sher Club. She was pretty sure it belonged to... Drake? Whatever it was, Derek had somehow got them in.

"You didn't have to do any of this," she promised, keeping her voice low as they entered. She didn't want any of the club members to feel like they were intruding in their space. "We could have gotten nose bleeds," she explained. All she wanted was a night out with him. And he went above and beyond to do that for her. (He always did.)

Derek just shook his head. "Don't even worry about it," he smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Let's get drinks." And so they did at the fancy fully stocked bar. And then they filled up their plates with restaurant-quality food.

Being at the Sher Club was like being at a swanky five-star lounge. It was decorated with a shiny marble floor and plush red velvet couches. Massive chandeliers dimly lit the space enough to make the gold accents in the room sparkle. They stood out like two sore thumbs. But it didn't matter. Casey couldn't stop smiling while her eyes absorbed every detail.

"Thanks for doing this," she said when they finally settled down into their luxuriously plush seats and the view of the ice. She beamed next to him as she laid out all the food and snacks. She looked like a kid in a candy store, excited to watch the game.

"I promised I would," he shrugged. "We never got to do this together. I was always on the ice."

"And I was always up here- well, somewhere down there," she corrected, pointing down to the regular seats. "Cheering you on."

"Those were always my best games," he whispered. And then he was pressing his velvety lips to her blushing cheeks. Her eyes fluttered closed for just a second. And in that second, it was only them. The noise around them vanished. The world stopped spinning. And just as quickly as it happened, it was over.

"So! Who are you falling in love with today? I can probably get you into the locker rooms after the game. I'm thinking the Leafs goalie? We know you like blondes!" Derek teased.

If he wanted to play that game she would play it. She was a sucker for the competitive mature. "I'm thinking… the King's centerman? He looks like a brunette to me," she smirked. Derek, the brunette, had played center all his life. And she knew she probably shouldn't push on the subject, but she couldn't help it. Not when he was teasing her in that way.

Derek stiffened in his seat next to her. She watched his Adam's apple bob in a gulp. "Casey," he warned, his voice thick and warm. His voice tasted like honey in the air and she just wanted to have a lick.

What exactly was he warning her about? Whatever it was, she wasn't sure she'd listen. She liked being a brat. She liked pushing his buttons just as much as he liked pushing hers. And suddenly in those fancy seats, and on what _felt_ like a date, she wanted to push every button till he was pushing _her_ flush against a wall. He made her feel alive amongst the chaos that was her life and she desperately needed to cling to those moments because they were few and far in between.

"What?" she asked innocently, blinking up at him like she had no idea what she was doing.

Derek took a sip of the cocktail, considering her. The way he looked at her, there was heat in his gaze. She felt a flush roll through her, all the way down to her toes. How could he do all that with just one look?

"Was it really me? The hockey player you were... _in love_ with?" he asked eventually. His voice low and deep.

Casey sucked in a breath. Were they going to talk about it? "Who else could it have been?" she countered softly.

"I just…" he started, then stopped. He licked his lips and her eyes followed the movement closely. "You never.." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. She knew what he was trying to say. She had never said those words. Not to him. Not directly.

Casey shook her head. "No, I guess I didn't," she admitted, looking down at the food in front of her. The game was about to start, she didn't want to make it awkward but there were so many things she wanted to say to him. She just shrugged. "You didn't either. But, I knew…" she trailed off. He never said he loved her. But he didn't need to. He was willing to risk it all for her. She knew. (And she knew she didn't deserve him.)

Derek nodded. "Yeah," he breathed out, sounding exhausted. "Good."

And then the game started.

* * *

Derek was trying to spend more time with Luca, so he convinced the teen to join him for some errands. Granted the kid thought it was a cover story for a prank or something, but whatever. But just in case it all went wrong, Derek promised tacos. 'Cause who doesn't want tacos? Whatever the reason was, Luca decided to come along.

"So, what are we doing today?" Luca asked suspiciously in the passenger side seat, side-eyeing Derek closely.

Derek smirked, he knew Luca was going to be confused and he enjoyed it. "Well, Luca, when you love someone," he started slowly easing his way into the conversation.

"Oh my god!" Luca interrupted. "Are you trying to give me the talk? Dad already did years ago! I'm _good_!" the boy explained, clearly embarrassed by the idea of the conversation.

"No," Derek replied, keeping his laughter at bay. Teenagers were a mess and so easy to tease. "Like I was saying, when you love someone, you do things to show it. Little things," Derek explained.

Slowly, as a realization dawned on him, Luca's blue eyes went wide. Sometimes it scared Derek how much Luca's eyes mirrored Caseys. He could almost see the light bulb over his head. " _Oh_ ," Luca replied, like that answered every question he had. "So, you're in love?" Luca decided, suddenly so much more relaxed.

Derek chuckled in response. The boy wouldn't let him get a word in. "Not in that way buddy. But, it's been 6 months since we've moved in. I wanted to get Sky some flowers. She's been doing great with this transition. Granted it's probably because she loves your mom so much and has nothing to do with me. Regardless, I wanted to pick up some flowers for her."

"Oh," Luca replied again, sounding very disappointed with that answer. He visibly sunk into his seat, disinterested.

"Annnnd, I think it would be nice if you got your mom some flowers too? You know, to show her that you care? I know she's been going through a rough time with everything." A rough year.

"I…" Luca started, shutting his mouth. His lips pressed into a thin line. He was not on board. But Derek expected that.

"Or not. It's fine. I know it's not _cool_ to get your mom flowers or whatever. I'll just tell her myself. She's been a god damn angel in the middle of all of this."

"No," Luca jumped in. "I can do it," he nodded.

"Cool," Derek smiled. He knew Luca wasn't comfortable with any man, even Derek, getting flowers for Casey. The boy was protective of his mother, even if it was only for his father's sake. But really… he didn't need to be. He was just a kid. "I also wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Not the birds and the bees?" Luca countered dryly.

Derek ignored him. "I've heard some people call you the 'man of the house' lately, because of everything that happened."

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's bullshit. You're not the man of the house. You're just a kid. And Casey doesn't need you to be anything else but that. She's a badass. She never needed a man. Your dad came into her life and added to it. And yeah everything sucks right now, and it'll be an adjustment, but she'll be alright. This isn't on you. You got that?"

"Yeah," Luca sighed, sounding defeated.

Derek nodded, keeping his eye on the road in front of him. "And if you ever want to talk to someone, which I highly doubt it, but If you do… I figure it might not be your mom. And, I'm a good listener." Derek doubted that Luca would ever open up to him but he wanted to put the offer out there anyway. He too was trying.

Luca nodded in response. He had nothing to say, it was clear he wanted to get off the subject.

"Cool, now let's go get some flowers for our favorite girls," Derek beamed.

"I wouldn't go that far," Luca grumbled with an eye roll.

* * *

Luca picked out Casey's flowers. They weren't the ones Derek would have chosen, but he had gotten Casey many flowers throughout the years. He knew what he was looking for. Luca picked a dozen red roses for his mom. "That's what Dad used to do," he shrugged. The kid was trying to follow in his dad's footsteps.

Derek didn't say a word to disagree. But, if he would have chosen, he would have gotten her some white flowers. Of any kind really. She just loved white flowers. She said they were the most underrated and made every room look beautiful. They were classic and elegant, just like Casey.

As for Sky, Derek picked out her favorite flowers. Sunflowers. Yellow and bright and beautiful, like his daughter. Her eyes lit up when she received the flowers. She even wrapped him into a big bear hug.

Luca presented his flower to his mom with a blush covering his cheeks. He handed the bouquet off like it was a bomb he couldn't wait to get rid of.

"He picked them out himself," Derek supplied with a smug smile on his face.

Casey's eyes went wide but she took the flowers in her hands. She looked at the flowers adorning. She looked like she wanted to hug her son but stopped herself. She didn't want to ruin the moment. "Thanks, sweetie," she murmured, delicately clutching the flowers to her chest.

* * *

"Shit," Derek said the second he laid eyes on Luca the following afternoon. Casey would be home late from work, so he was on dinner duty. And what that meant was that he was going to order in. But when he knocked on Luca's bedroom door, taking dinner suggestions he saw the purple and green bruised swollen eye, Derek forgot all about dinner.

Luca tried to give Derek an innocent smile, but even that hurt the kid and he winced in pain.

Derek closed the bedroom door behind him, making sure to keep Sky out of whatever happened.

"Shit," Derek repeated the closer he got to the boy. Derek was no stranger to a black eye or bruises. Hell, he gave as much as he took. But Luca… Derek gently tilted the kid's head back, examining the bruise. The eye itself seemed fine. But everything else was puffy and swollen.

"What happened?" he asked.

Luca shrugged, moving out of Derek's grasp. "Got in a fight," was all he said. And Derek expected that was all he was going to get out of it.

Derek pinched his nose as he gathered his thoughts. "Right," he muttered thinking to himself. Casey could not find out. She would freak out. Derek remembered the way she was with him when he got into fistfights. She'd clean him up, but give him hell to pay right after. And her words did nothing to help the headache and throbbing bruises.

"So, here's the deal. Your mom can't find out. Not tonight at least." Casey was working on a case at work that was taking up a lot of her time. She was under a lot of stress and Derek would not add to it. Not if he could take care of it in the meantime. "So I'm going to save you from her lecture. I can imagine your entire head feels like it's exploding?" Derek assumed.

Luca nodded once.

"Right. So, I'm going to get you something for your face. And you're going to stay in your room. No need for Sky to see you."

"Uh, she already did," Luca replied, sheepishly.

So it must have happened in school. Derek took a seat at Luca's desk. "You sure you don't want to tell me what happened?" He knew he wouldn't want to tell George and Nora about any fights he got into, but it would help to understand what happened.

Luca threw himself back onto his bed, wincing at the impact of his head hitting the pillow. "I…" he started slowly, looking up at the ceiling. "Some kid said something stupid. So I punched him. And he punched me back," the boy blurted out

"Ok…" Derek trailed off. "Want to tell me why?" It probably wouldn't work, but still, he had to at least try to get the information. Especially if he was going to keep it from Casey for a day. (She would kill him for it. But he was willing to take that risk.)

"He said something about Sky," Luca finally supplied, eyes locked on the ceiling.

Derek felt the air leave his lungs. _His daughter._ Someone said something about his daughter. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew, of course, he knew the kids were mean. Bullies sucked. Hell, he had been one. But it felt so personal. His little girl...

"I got him just as good," Luca promised, filling the silence that fell upon them as Derek's brain spiraled.

Derek didn't want to ask what was said. It wouldn't make the situation better. And it would probably just piss him off. "Thanks," Derek said almost silently. Was he supposed to thank Luca? It felt like he should. For protecting his little girl. But at the same time, Derek knew he should be acting like a parent. He should be upset that Luca resorted to violence. (But dammit it's hard being an adult sometimes!)

He let out a heavy sigh getting up. "I'm going to get you some ice and pain killers. I'll do my best to keep your mom away tonight. She probably won't be home till late anyway. But by the time you get home from school tomorrow, you better have to have a solid story, cause she will ask. Got it?" He wasn't sure if telling Casey that he was defending Sky would get Luca completely out of trouble…. He'd probably need to give a little more detail for her to believe it was true anyway.

"Got it."

When Derek left Luca's room, he found Sky sitting on the floor in the hallway. Her head in her hands. Derek sighed, dropping onto the floor, taking a seat next to her. (He found himself on the floor a little too often for his knees liking)

"Is he ok?" she asked softly, hands pulling away from her face. Her pink glasses sat on the floor next to her. She must have been really worried about him.

"He'll be alright. Nasty bruise." Derek explained. "Want to tell me what happened?" he asked because she had to know. She had to have been there.

"Some boy made a stupid comment. Luca heard it. Big fistfight," she shrugged leaning her head against the wall.

"Do I even wanna know?" he asked, mirroring her, letting his head hit the back of the wall in frustration.

"No."

"Are you ok?" Did she get hurt in the process? Physically or emotionally.

Sky shook her head and slipped on her glasses. "No, I'm fine. I told him I could handle it. You _know_ I could. I just didn't want to get suspended," she shrugged, hugging her knees to her chest to make herself seem smaller. He knew she felt guilty for the whole thing.

Derek nodded. He did know. Sky might look like a shy reserved girl, but Derek had her in karate as a 6-year-old. She earned her black belt by 12, switching to kickboxing for a year. She may have been out of practice but she could still kick ass. A high school bully had nothing on her.

"It's really sweet of him to jump in for you," Derek offered with a soft smile. It was the sweetest thing he had seen Luca do for Sky since the pair had known each other.

Sky nodded. "Yeah, but Caseys going to go nuts. And it was my fault dad." Sky was distraught.

Derek sighed. "It wasn't your fault, hun. He was just trying to protect you. I'll try to keep it away from her for as long as possible. But she will find out eventually. That bruise is going to take a few weeks to heal...But if these little punks at school try-"

His daughter cut him off. "Dad. Next time, I'll flip them over, I promise. But if I get suspended…"

"I'll pick you up and we'll have a celebratory dinner," Derek confirmed. "You gotta watch Luca back, kiddo. Even if he doesn't like it. Ok?"

Sky nodded. "Yeah yeah. I'll embarrass him in front of everyone. He'll hate me for new reasons," she groaned, annoyed with the plan by accepting it.

"Exactly! Remind me to tell you what happened between me, Casey and the fridge. I promise it's a good story," Derek chuckled, standing up.

"The fridge?" Sky asked, eyeing her father who offered his hand to help her up.

"The fridge," he confirmed. "Come on. Help me find something for his face. And dinner. We definitely need food."

* * *

Derek had been working at the kitchen table instead of his office desk in the basement because he needed to know the exact moment Casey found out about Luca's black eye. Because Luca wasn't the only one who was in trouble and he knew it. He hid it from her and there would be hell to pay. He did not intrude on her parenting often. But he had this time.

He felt her stomp down the stairs and just knew she was pissed.

"You alright?" he asked gently as she rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, seemingly ignoring him.

"Dandy," she snapped, clearly annoyed. She found the meds she was looking for, popping two pills onto her mouth, swallowing them down.

"Case…" he started cautiously.

"Save it!" she spat back. He watched as she closed her eyes and breathed.

Derek sighed, running a hand over his face. "Look, don't be too hard on him, ok? Not for this. He was defending my kid," Derek bargained for Lucas' life. He had to. Especially knowing how guilty Sky was feeling about everything.

Casey nodded, opening her eyes. "I'm not... _mad_. I'm glad he was protecting her. Although I'm sure violence could have been _avoided_ altogether but…" she shrugged crossing her arms over her chest. Her blue eyes were shooting daggers at the wall in front of her. But she wasn't looking at him. She couldn't.

"So, what's with the face?" he asked, smirking just a tiny bit.

"I'm mad _you_ kept it from me," she gritted the words out. Her eyes finally landed on him and he felt the heat radiate from her.

Derek winced, even though he knew it was coming. "Right. Ok. Yeah, I'll take that," he nodded. "Do you know _why_ I kept it in from you?" he offered.

"Why?" she asked, sounding exhausted with his excuse already.

"You were slammed at work. You had a deadline. That's why you weren't home. I was holding down the fort. So, I took care of him. I know what it's like to have a black eye. I knew what he needed. Telling you last night wouldn't have made a difference. You still chewed him out for it today. I promise he was in enough physical pain yesterday. So yeah, I gave you the night off. And if that's wrong, I'm sorry but I'd do it again."

A smile tipped up at the corner of her mouth. She was quickly losing her resolve to be mad at him. (He knew it wouldn't last.) "You're always trying to protect me," she murmured, almost as if she is putting it together for herself.

" _Always_ ," he replied.

Casey didn't say anything. She didn't move, he could see her still processing it all in her mind. Overthinking.

Hr crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. It only took a few seconds but eventually, she melted into him. Her arms curling around him tight. Her face pressed against his chest, breathing him in. He hugged her tight. Not because she is crying or upset. No, simply because he wanted to.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. Because he was.

"I know," she replied, squeezing him back.

* * *

There was an entire floor between Derek and the kids, and yet he heard them yelling like he had front row seats. He rubbed his temples, trying to ease the little jackhammers that were tap dancing in his brain. Between the kids and strain on his eyes from the computer, he was a goner. He was so close to finishing up a report or the New York Rangers he could taste it. If only the kids would shut up for thirty minutes. That was all he needed.

" _Luca_!" Sky yelled. The house shook. The birds flew away. Snow on the nearest mountain tops fell.

Derek had to do something about them. Normally he let them sort it out amongst themselves. It was always the best way. Less parental interference. Plus, Sky looked like she wanted to kill him anytime he stepped in. She hated it when he tried to intervene in her battles. But this was necessary for his work and salinity.

But that wasn't going to work today. He rummaged through his bins, the stuff he didn't unpack but kept, and found his old black boxing gloves and a bright pink pair that Sky used when she trained with him.

He made his way upstairs to the living room where he found the pair of teenagers yelling in each other's faces. Alfred, Skys hamster, cradled in her hand, clearly alarmed.

The kids silenced themselves as soon as they saw Derek fuming face. He must have looked angry.

He threw down the boxing gloves on the coffee table between them. "So, here's the thing. I have a massive headache. And a five o'clock deadline. But I can't think straight. So, you two want to fight, right?" he asked, looking between the pair who said nothing in reply. Derek nodded to himself. "So, you're going to fight. Sky's a black belt. Luca, you're bigger and stronger. Sounds like a fair fight to me. So, come on. Put the gloves on. Let go to the back yard and settle this. First, one to tap out, losses," Derek finished crossing his arms over his chest.

(Casey was going to kill him. But that was a problem for future Derek.)

"This feels like a trick," Luca replied, almost whispering to Sky.

"What's the catch?" Sky asked her dad, worrisome.

Derek gave the pair a sinister smile. "Winner gets to hit me," he declared. He knew that no matter how mad the kids were at each other, they wouldn't want to hit him.

"Oh, uh…" Sky flushed, stuttering. She did not see that coming. Neither did Luca. "I think we're good here," Sky supplied quickly. "Right, Lu?" she asked, turning to her cousin.

"Yeah! We're good," Luca agreed, looking at the Sky who nodded.

"Great!" Derek smiled, a wicked sort of smile. "Now go," he deadpanned, his smile dropping immediately. "And if I hear any more yelling today, I'm changing the wifi password. Got it?" Changing the wifi password was the biggest threat in Casey's house. Derek had only seen her do it once when Luca was acting like a five-year-old. It was hell.

The kids ran out of the living room like it was on fire. Silence enveloped the house and it was glorious. First Derek needed some pain meds. And then he would finish his work.

* * *

"So, the kids were fighting today?" Casey asked. She was curled up on the couch in the basement den sitting across from Derek. In her hand, she had a glass of red wine, her lips tipped up in mischief. She always enjoyed it when the kids drove Derek crazy. It was rare, he kept a level head most of the time. But when he sent her a text earlier that day warning her, she was itching for the full story.

"They were…" he trailed off cautiously, taking after gulps of his beer.

"What did you do?" she asked, humor in her voice cause she just knew he was hiding something.

"You're not going to like it," he warned her with a knowing look.

Casey rolled her eyes. He was giving her one hell of a buildup. "Just tell me," she groaned.

And so he did.

Casey didn't say anything for a little while. Derek had an interesting parenting style, to say the least. Very different from Casey's for sure. "Well," she began. "Sky would have kicked Lucas ass," she finally admitted, taking a sip of her wine to cover up her face.

Derek just beamed like a proud dad because yeah, of course, she would have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a reminder, I know nothing about hockey but apparently The Sher Club is the most exclusive place to be at the Scotiabank Arena. It's where Drake is when he goes to games. So you know, nothing but the best for Derek's princess!
> 
> I hope this chapter helped explain Casey's flakiness. (Also, Casey's a brat. Derek's a brat tamer.)
> 
> And, as a reminder, Sky Venturi is a total badass!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA- The one where they do long distance.

Derek was having a relaxing night in where he was alone. All his work for the week was done and he was finally allowing himself to just relax. It was strange. Between his job, and trying to be the best father possible, and checking in with Casey (and yes, even Luca) it was so rare for Derek to have time alone with nothing to do. Even his laundry was done, folded, and put away! He was in the den, mindlessly scrolling through his phone while a movie played in the background when he heard footsteps come down the stairs. His eyes shifted and found his daughter making her way down towards him.

"Hey, Dad!" Sky began, with her sugary-sweet voice and matching grin.

Red flags immediately went up in Derek's mind. It wasn't often that Sky joined him in the den. Most of the time she'd text him to come upstairs to watch a movie or something in the living room. She loved Casey's fluffy living room couch. So much so that she would fall asleep on it almost every time they hung out up there. Most of the time he had to carry her up to bed. So when she came down to him he knew she was up to something.

"Hey. What's up?" he asked cautiously, putting his phone down.

Sky seemed skittish like she wanted something. He was scared of what she would ask for since last time she asked for something it was a robot arm for her science club. And that had cost… well, an arm and a leg.

She made herself comfortable, balancing herself on the arm of the couch, facing her father. "Did you know that the high school hockey team needs a coach?" she asked, pushing up her green framed glasses up the bridge of her nose. She was staring at him pointedly like she was presenting a science project.

Derek's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What?" Derek liked to be in the know about what happened at the high school. At first, it was a way for him to keep up to date with all of Sky's extra circulars. (She had a lot.) But once she started opening up to him, he didn't really need to check as often. He'd get the school emails every once in a while about fundraisers and bake sales, but he hadn't seen anything about the hockey team.

"Yeah, the hockey coach had some family emergency or something. I don't know," she shrugged, sounding completely indifferent about the whole thing. "Point is, they don't have a coach right now. And I was thinking…who better to step in than my dad? And I know you have a job, and your busy consulting but...maybe you could cut down for a little bit? I just think it would be a really good idea. Everyone at school already loves you! What do you think?" she asked, biting her lip and writing her hands in her lap like she was nervous.

" _What_?" Derek repeated, this time even more confused. He simply could not understand how his daughter, the one who hated hockey, was suddenly casually talking about stats, watching games with the girls, and offering him up to coach at her high school. Canada was definitely growing on her.

Sky just grinned at him, taking his shock as a good sign. "Just think about it," she shrugged. That little innocent face had scheming written all over it. Derek just needed to figure out why. Just as quickly as she arrived, she vanished up the stairs, leaving him to his thoughts.

_What?!_

* * *

Derek found himself buttering Casey up the next day. Simply because he needed intel she could provide. That the only reason why her feet were in his lap while they watched shitty reality tv in the basement den. He hardly ever left the place since they cleared it out for him. It felt like his own personal safe haven after the move. His fingers expertly kneaded at the sore muscles of her feet, making Casey release a series of little whimpers that reminded him too much of her other sounds. He knew how to get her to talk. So he was being extra sweet to her. He even picked up a slice of red velvet cake from her favorite bakery on his way home. Rubbing her achy tired feet was just the cherry on top.

"Hey Case," he started, as he pressed his thumb into the arch of her foot, making her mewl in delight.

"Hmmm?" she asked, her eyes practically closed in absolute delight.

"Does Sky ever talk to you about boys?" he asked, trying his best to sound casual about the whole thing. Not like a father searching for answers. He pressed his fingers into her tender muscles trying to relax her.

Casey opened one eye and peeked at him carefully. " _Maybe_. Why?" she asked her voice noticeably on guard. She knew he was up to something.

Derek nodded. Casey would know. "Does she have a crush on someone from the hockey team?" he tried again hoping for more of a concrete answer.

"What? No! He's in the sci-." she stopped herself mid-sentence. But she gave him enough information. Did Sky like someone in her science class? Science Club? "Hockey team?" Casey asked, tasting the words on her tongue willing them to make sense. She was clearly confused. After a second she shook her head, looking determined. She pulled her feet away to sit up and look at Derek.

Derek shrugged, his hands suddenly empty. "She wants me to coach the high school hockey team. I figured the reason was a boy? You know how she is about hockey. I just don't know why else she'd bring it up."

"Interesting..." Casey murmured. Derek could see the wheels in her head-turning. "Maybe she just wants you to get back on the ice. Or close to it? I think she finally understands what hockey means to you," Casey offered with a soft smile. "I'm going to get dinner started," she decided, jumping off the couch and practically running up the stairs.

Derek didn't believe her for a second. Clearly, she was going to get some answers. He only hoped that she would eventually share them as well.

Although he liked Casey's theory….Maybe Sky just wanted to bond with him.

* * *

It was rare for Derek to travel for work, but every once in a while a team would ask him to fly out, all expenses paid, and have a closer look at the team. It was Derek's first work trip since moving back to Canada. It would be the first time leaving Sky, Casey, and Luca for the weekend. He was going to Las Vegas to see the Golden Knights play.

Derek got a bear hug from Sky that Friday morning before she left for school. "Love you kid. I'll see you Monday," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Love you," she replied into his chest. "And don't worry dad, I won't do _anything_ you wouldn't do," she smirked. She was getting a little too good at that stupid smirk. He was starting to understand why Casey hated it so much.

There was a lot he'd do that he wasn't keen on his daughter doing. But fair was fair… Right? "Go to school!" Derek groaned, releasing her into the world.

She walked out the front door giggling the whole way.

"You sure you'll be ok with her for the weekend?" Derek asked walking into the kitchen where Casey was finishing up her morning coffee.

He wanted Sky to stay with his dad and Nora. But Casey had insisted that she could handle the teenage girl. He was sure she could, but he didn't want to add to her plate. He was tempted to bring Sky along, skip school for a day and go on a trip with her dad. She was even open to the idea, shockingly enough, but decided against it last minute when she remembered she had band practice. His daughter sure was a special one. (He wouldn't trade her for the world.)

"Derek for the hundredth time, I got her. We're going shopping and are having a harry potter marathon. And I'm pretty sure even Luca wants to join us. It'll be great!" Casey promised.

"Alright," he sighed, believing her. "I gotta get out of here. See you on Monday," he smiled, pulling his duffle bag onto his shoulder.

Casey caught his hand before he moved too far away from her. "Der," she mumbled softly, eyes looking down, eyelashes touching the tops of her checks.

"Yeah?" he asked, frowning in confusion.

She didn't say anything. Just blinked up at him with the smallest pout to her lips and softness in those blue eyes. There was a memory, from the depths of his mind, one from that Casey file that he tried his best to lose. But there it was again. Those sad pleading eyes. That was how she always got when he left for an away game. Mope, sad and clingy in all the best ways. She had made him almost miss the bus countless times. Coach almost benched him the first time. The whole thing just tugged on his heart, as if it weren't already hers.

He shook his head and chuckled to himself softly. He couldn't let the moment fill him up with too much joy and nostalgia. Still, he pulled her into his arms, securing her tight against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his back and got on her tippy toes only to bury her face into the crook of his neck. It felt too much like old times. Her breath fanned out across his skin, warming him up in a million different ways. He closed his eyes tight and wished he could live in that little moment with her forever. It was nice to hold her like that, especially when she wasn't crying. (Especially when she was just sad to see him go.)

"Be good, ok?" he asked, his voice rough against the calm morning air. He wasn't sure why he was saying that. There was no chance Casey would be bad, whatever that meant but still, it just felt right to say.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself a few more seconds of bliss. He inhaled her scent. She smelled like coffee and cinnamon and sugary sweet goodness. He pulled back enough to reach out and cup her chin. Gently he tilted her face away from his as he bent down to press his lips to her cheek. He let his lips linger for a second or two before pulling away from her completely.

"Be good? I'm not the one going to Vegas," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest like a spoiled brat throwing a fit. But her cheeks were flushed pink- he had made her blush.

Derek smirked, not buying the attitude for a second. She was going to miss him and it was driving her crazy. "Aww, honey, don't be like that. I'll behave," he promised with a wink. He swore he heard a classic "Der-ek!" as he made his way into his car.

* * *

Derek made it to Vegas in no time. His flight was mostly empty and had no turbulence. He made his way past security and into the car that was waiting for him easily. He arrived at his hotel at about six pm Vegas time. He was trying to beat jet lag by getting dressed to go out to dinner. But first, he rewarded himself with a very luxurious shower. The team had put him in an insane lush Vegas hotel. It had a massive glass-encased shower with multiple shower heads and even colored lights to set the mood. Derek connected his phone to the speakers and had himself a grand old time.

He had just started getting ready for the night when his phone rang. He picked it up only to find that it was a video call from Casey. Derek chuckled to himself answering it easily, without giving it a second thought.

"Miss me already?" he asked his tone light and teasing.

On screen, he saw Casey was in her bed. He was surprised. Most of his time with Casey was spent in the kitchen or the den. But in her space… in her bed, it felt like she had extended an invitation to a more personal side of her he hadn't seen in a long time.

Casey narrowed her eyes, drinking her fill of what she could see on screen, which was just Derek's bare naked chest. Since his knee injury, he could only work out his upper body, so it was very defined and chiseled. He still managed to work out a few times a week. She watched as the water droplets slid down from the ends of his hair, kissed the dips of his collar bone, and danced down the muscles of his toned stomach, before disappearing under the lip of the white fluffy towel wrapped tight around his hips. Casey seemed hypnotized watching them. Although she had cried against his chest multiple times, she never really got a good look at him in proper lighting. She seemed very impressed. So Derek didn't say anything. He enjoyed watching her blatantly check him out. It did his ego good.

"I _uh_ , wanted to see how your flight was," she finally explained with a shrug. She was trying to sound nonchalant, not like it took her one entire minute to form words.

" _Oooooor_ , you're checking to see if I'm at a strip club?" he offered, propping his phone up against the nightstand table next to him so he could dry his wet hair with a smaller towel.

"It's too early for that... Isn't it?" she asked, but it sounded like she was doubting herself.

Derek smiled, looking up at her on the nightstand with knowing eyes. "It's about seven here. But, to answer the question that you really want to ask, yes I'm going out tonight." He felt like he was checking in with his wife and he secretly loved it.

"Oh." She sounded so disappointed. "I guess I shouldn't keep you," she baited him.

He rolled his eyes, making his way around the room, putting on deodorant, before pulling on some clothes. He knew she could only see bits and pieces of him, as he moved in and out of the camera frame, and he was ok with that. He knew he was teasing her, throwing the wet towel across the frame. "I'm just going to dinner with an old friend," he clarified. He didn't mention that it was an old teammate, he still wanted to make her squirm.

He came back to the frame wearing a pair of black boxers briefs and a fitted black t-shirt clinging to his upper body, with a towel wrapped around his neck. He picked the phone up and laid back in bed in a comfortable lounging position. She could only see his upper half from the new angle.

"Dinner? Like a _date_ ," she blushed. It almost sounded like a question, but not quite.

"Not a date, McDonald. I told you I'm on my best behavior," he smiled that wicked smile of his that always melted her. And yeah, he was flirting with her. Because it was hard not to flirt with her. And she was flirting back and being all cute and jealous. He was enjoying it for all it was worth. (Plus it was easy to flirt when they were a country apart. Not so much when they were in the same house and could act on it.)

"Ok. I'll admit it, I'm jealous."

" _You ar_ e?" his smile vanished. He sat up a bit, getting serious. He did not see that coming. She hadn't been that honest and bold in a long time.

"Yeah. I'm very jealous you're over there. I haven't been on a vacation for a long time… I'm a little burnt out," she admitted a frown tugging at the corners of her lips.

_Oh_. That's what she was jealous of. "I'm not on vacation. I'm working," he argued, the tiniest bit annoyed at himself for getting his hopes up.

"Oh yeah. In a fancy hotel room in a different country... Going out to diner," she rolled her eyes at him.

"Hey, I am working. But name a time and a place and I'll take you anywhere. You know that." And it was true too. Casey and Luca deserved a vacation. But he didn't think she'd allow herself to have one. But he would take her, _anywhere_.

She just nodded, but he wasn't sure she had even heard him.

Derek let out a sigh. "I should finish getting dressed. Should I text you before I go to bed, alone?" he joked, licking his lips.

"I uh…" she trailed off, just staring at him with a question in her mind.

" _You_?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave.

"Bring me back a souvenir?" she offered weakly with a fake smile.

He could tell that it wasn't what she really wanted to say, but he took it anyway. "I'll do my best," he smiled. "Try not to miss me too much, ok?" he winked before disconnecting the call.

Derek took a deep breath, he was only hurting himself the more he flirted with her. (But god did it hurt so good.) He scrubbed his face with his hands and groaned into the empty bedroom his life was unfair, but he learned that years ago.

Gathering what was left of his self-respect he got up and got moving. Once he was dressed and ready, he called his daughter.

"Hey kiddo," he smiled at his daughter through the camera of his phone.

Sky was looking at him with narrowed eyes. "Don't ' _hey kiddo_ ' me. I _know_ you called Casey first," she countered, but she wasn't mad. She eventually smiled, like she was in on the joke.

"Well, then you'd _know_ that Casey called me cause she just can't stand to be away from me. It's almost like she likes me or something," he shrugged. "Don't get mad, munchkin. You know you're my favorite girl!" he teased his daughter, knowing how much she hated the nickname. But she was small and would always be shorter than him, so the name fit.

"Am I, dad? Am I _really_ your favorite girl?" she teased right back. And wow, yeah he was _not_ going down that road. Not when she had been dropping so many hints.

"I'm ignoring you," he decided. "How was school today?" he asked to take a seat at the little desk in the hotel room, propping his phone up.

"It was fine. Aced a bio quiz. Learned a new song in band practice. Almost killed Luca. A normal Friday," she supplied.

"Did you talk to your crush today?" he teased, chuckling. "What's his name again?" he asked index finger tapping his chin like he was in deep thought. He was still trying to figure out who she liked on the hockey team. Casey hadn't given him any more detail.

"I'll tell you his name if you decided to coach the team," she countered.

"Oh, you're good." Derek had spoken to the high school and they agreed with Sky. The school would be lucky to have him. But Derek had no experience coaching. He could consult. Predict what teams needed. And he could play, or well he used to be able to play. But coaching would be a new thing for him. He had to think about it. (He was not going to embarrass Sky or Luca by being the highschool's new terrible hockey coach.)

"I learned from the best!" she smiled back. But then her smile faded. "Hey dad," she spoke, more serious that time.

"Yeah?"

"No girls this weekend, ok?" she asked.

_What_? Sky never mentioned him dating. She never seemed to have an issue with it. He wasn't sure what had changed but clearly something. Was it the fact that she was getting older? He had no intention of hooking up while he was away, but he had to understand her reasoning. "You've never said that before…" he trailed off.

Sky nodded, agreeing with him. "I just don't think Casey would like that very much," was all she said. "I gotta finish up my homework and head to bed," she told him, shutting down the conversation quickly.

"Yeah, ok," he murmured, still letting her words sink in. "Night kiddo."

* * *

Derek went out to dinner that night with Jimmy, an old hockey friend. He made it back to his hotel room relatively early, sending Casey a picture of him in bed. In it he was shirtless, the white sheets covering his lower half. He had an arm tucked behind his bed, and yeah maybe he flexed his arm the tiniest bit to make it look cool. He just wanted to prove that he had made it to bed that night alone.

**Honey, I'm home. Alone, as promised** , he added.

Derek and Casey were not strangers to sending each other pictures. When he would go on away games, they were constantly messaging back and forth. It felt like old times again...

* * *

The next day Derek was up bright and early. He woke up to a text from Casey telling him how much she hated him, and it just warmed his little cold heart.

He spent the morning at the rink watching the Knights practice and run drills. Later on that afternoon he spent some time talking to the team's management and discussed some preliminary things he noticed. He would still provide a full report with his suggestions later on.

After a day full of hockey, Derek went back to the hotel room exhausted. He ordered entirely too much room service and watched a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead knowing the family would be _pissed_ if they knew he went ahead and watched a few episodes without them. (It was one of their family bonding activities that even Luca enjoyed.) Eventually, he fell asleep in his hotel issued robe, pizza on the bed sitting next to him. The bachelor's life was hard but he had to live it.

* * *

He woke up early on Sunday, a little bit sluggish and feeling like crap from all the food he pigged out on. But regardless of how he felt, he was going home. He was happy for that at least. But before he could head out to the airport, he had a bit of shopping to do. Casey asked for a souvenir, so she would get one. They all would.

* * *

Due to time zones, Derek got back home fairly late. He had no intention of waking anyone up, no matter how much he missed them. But when he walked inside the house quietly hoping not to wake anyone, he heard the low laugh track playing on the tv. When he went into the living room to investigate he found Casey asleep, curled up on the couch, and the late-night tv show playing in the background. The glow from the tv playing against her skin.

She looked adorable. And he wanted nothing more than to let her sleep peacefully. He knew first hand that you could get some rest on that couch. But Casey didn't deserve that. She should sleep in her own bed. He had to wake her, he was simply too tired to carry her upstairs to bed.

"Hey," he called softly, cupping her face with his palm. "Wake up sleeping beauty," he cooed.

"Hmmm?" she hummed before blinking open those sleepy blue eyes. "Your home," she smiled. Casey, just waking up, was vulnerable and soft and sweet had the ability to disarm him completely.

"Yeah. Did you wait up for me?" he asked, chuckling softly, not believing it.

"I uh…" she trailed off, sitting up, yawning and stretching. "No, I just fell asleep," she lied.

He didn't buy it for a second. But he didn't call her out on it either. Derek missed his girls badly while he was away. And he wasn't even expecting it. Sky was usually busy with school and her social life to spend much time with him. And Casey, well that was a whole story altogether. But somehow the weekend felt empty without them. He was glad to be home.

"Go to bed, Case."

* * *

When Derek woke up the next morning, there was a full spread of breakfast items.

"What's all this?" he asked Casey as he eyed the pancakes, fruit, eggs, and bacon all set up on the kitchen island.

"I just thought we'd have a nice breakfast together as a family since your back," she shrugged, handing him his morning cup of coffee.

Derek just grinned, taking the coffee from her hands. He couldn't help it. She had gotten up early to make entirely too much food simply because he was...home? He felt something deep in his stomach. A warmth that spread over him. He shook his head, not understanding his life. But with the kitchen empty of children, he pulled her into his arms with his free hand slipping around her waist. He bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Missed you too," he murmured against her skin.

They were quickly interrupted by the sound of footsteps stomping down the stairs. But he caught the blush on her heated face before slipping away from him.

"Dad!" Sky squealed coming into the kitchen.

"Hey you," he beamed, pulling his kid into his arms.

"Your back," Luca noted coming in behind her. "That was quick. What did you bring me?"

"Luca!" Casey reprimanded.

Derek chuckled, pulling away from his daughter, setting down his untouched coffee. "I brought back a few things." Derek found his duffel bag in the living room where he had left it on the couch the night before. He found the smaller bag he was looking for and returned to the kitchen. "For you," he said, throwing Luca a ball of wadded up material.

Luca caught it easily, opening it up to reveal a Las Vegas Knights jersey. "Nice," he nodded, approving of the gift. That was as much feedback as Luca would provide, so Derek considered it a win.

"If you keep this up, he's going to have the entire NHL roster in his closet," Casey groaned, sipping her coffee leaning against the sink.

Derek ignored her. "And for you," he went on, handing Sky a glasses box. "I thought these were cool. They're sunglasses, but I thought maybe he would pop out the lens and you could add these to your rotation?" he offered with a shrug. His daughter had quite the glasses collection. She wore a different pair almost every day. They were a part of her personality.

"Thanks, dad. These are actually pretty cool," she admitted inspecting the oversized cat-eye framed glasses.

Derek was two for two.

"And for you, space case," Derek smiled, handing over the bag.

Cautiously Casey pulled out the last thing inside. A shirt read "Someone Who Loves me Very Much went to LAS VEGAS and brought me back this shirt." It was a tacky tourist trap sort of souvenir. But it was also three sizes too big for her, so she could sleep in it if she wanted to. (She used to sleep in Derek shirts when she spent the night at his dorm... And then it got replaced with Mikes.)

"Really?" she finally said, looking up at him. She didn't seem too pleased with his choice of gift.

He just shrugged. What the shirt said was true after all. And maybe, just maybe, he sprayed his cologne on the inside of it, in case she ever did get around to wearing the thing. "So, maybe I forgot about you and rushed to pick something up in the airport gift shop. It's the thought that counts!" he lied.

Her real present was on her bed. It was a small gift, but it meant something to him...When they were at Queens, Derek had a gray teddy bear on this bed. Mostly because Marti gave it to him when he left for university. But he quickly realized that the ladies thought it was adorable, so he kept the bear on display on his bed for all cuddling needs. But then the Casey thing happened. So, when he went away on his first away game, he gave up his precious bear for her to cuddle with while he was gone. And then she kept it for herself.

So when Derek saw a very similar version at the store, he simply had to get it for her. "For the lonely nights," was all the note said.

* * *

For Valentine's day, Sky was going to the school dance. Luca was going on a date. There was no way Casey had a date. Or that she had the slightest prospects of one. And Derek had not only been on a few dates since he had arrived in Canada, but none of them also went further than the first date. That left the parents alone together on Valentine's day.

Derek took it upon himself to do a little something for everyone. He got Sky some yellow daisies, putting them in a vase in her bedroom as a surprise when she got home from school. She was his forever valentine and he would always do something for his baby girl. He also had to get her chocolate, because he wasn't an idiot and knew what was important in life.

He also got Luca some chocolate. Just regular chocolate. No Valentine's day branding on it, knowing how stubborn and weird the teen was. He didn't even leave a note or anything. Casey would take the win if the boy even noticed it.

And then there was Casey. For her, he had to be a little less conspicuous. So, that morning he picked up some steaks from the grocery store and marinated them, based on a receipt he found online, obviously. He also picked up a couple of bottles of fancy wine. And that night, when the kids were gone, he'd casually made dinner.

"That smells amazing!" Casey purred entering the kitchen that evening. "You got a hot date tonight, Venturi?" she asked, eyeing him cautiously.

"Nope. Just treating myself," he shrugged like it was no big deal. "Hey, can you get the wine out for me?" he asked.

She did and was surprised to see the selection. "Wow this one's my favorite!" she commented, reading the label.

"Is it?" he asked, sounding not interested. As if he didn't know her favorite things. "You hungry?" he asked, already plating the perfect piece of steak for her.

"Starving."

After dinner, they migrated to the den where they watched some crappy rom-com. And when it was over, Casey pressed her lips to his cheek and said goodnight.

And maybe Casey got the same memo as he did because when he finally made his way into bed that night he found a small bouquet of white roses sitting on his nightstand. Derek couldn't believe it.

**Happy Valentine's Day, D.**  
**Because you deserve flowers too.  
**

* * *

"Mom, where's your ring?" Luca asked during dinner one night.

Casey looked down at her left hand and visibly paled. It was as if she was unaware her ring hadn't been on her finger. But Derek knew better.

Derek wasn't sure when she took the ring off. At some point after Halloween, obviously. But he didn't want Luca to make her feel bad about it, so before she could come up with anything, he jumped in. "That would be my fault," Derek cringed, for added effect. He'd take the hit. He'd always cover for her.

"What? Der-" Casey started, confused.

But Derek didn't stop. He cut her off. Looking at Luca he explained, "I can't tell you exactly what happened, cause house rules about pranks and all," Derek rolled his eyes dramatically as if he was blaming Casey for his fake prank. "But I can tell you… Silly string will stick… to _everything_."

Luca looked between the pair. Not sure if he was buying the story or not.

"So yeah. Her ring is getting cleaned," Derek shrugged, case closed. He dared Luca to say another word. But the boy didn't.

* * *

After a long day, Derek sat on the back porch with a hot chocolate as he watched the snow begin to fall. He felt like he was finally getting the hang of being a good dad. One that his daughter actually liked. But he was losing himself. He hadn't played hockey, not even a pickup game since leaving California. Granted, he couldn't play like he used to due to his knee, but still. Being on the ice felt like coming home and he was definitely homesick. He was pretty sure he was going to take the coaching job at the high school. He hadn't gone on a date in a while either... He hadn't done anything for himself, really. And it made him ache to fill the void. Getting on the ice was hard, and coaching might not fill the void. But a date.. that was relatively easy to fix.

He found himself opening up his dating app, ready to swipe to his heart's content. He should have known that peace and quiet weren't going to last that long.

"Ohh! Can I try?" Casey's voice came from behind him. She must have seen what he was doing.

Derek groaned, locking his phone and putting it down next to him. "Go away," he groaned, rubbing his cold face, a mix of embarrassed and annoyed. There really was a lack of privacy. Granted he should have gone to his own room, but he wanted to watch the snowfall. He missed snow during his time in Florida and California.

Casey took a seat next to him. She had a blanket curled around her, her nose already red from the cold. He was tempted to share his hot chocolate just to warm her up. "Come on. I never got to use any apps," she pouted. She was already dating Mike when dating apps really became a thing. She never got a chance to swipe right on anyone.

He gave her a look, a no way in hell kind of look. And she gave him puppy eyes, and just like that, he caved, handing his phone over wordlessly. Casey unlocked it, knowing his password which should have been concerning, but he didn't bother calling it out. It used to be Casey's birthday. But it became Sky's.

"Ok, which way am I swiping?" she asked. Big doe eyes looking up at him expecting.

"Right to make a match," he sighed. He could not believe they were doing this. It was not a family bonding activity. He was just trying to get laid and blow off some steam. But oh no. Casey had to be involved with that too. Was there any part of his life she wouldn't slip into?

"Ok," she mumbled, her tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth in concentration. He watched her for a bit. And then noticed her lips moving as she read along with the bios.

"Really?" Derek chuckled. He shouldn't have been surprised by it, but he was. She was really something else.

"Well, how else am I gonna know if it's a good match for you?" she countered, clearly not understanding what the app was for.

"Most people just go off the first picture," he explained.

" _Oh_ , you just want to get laid," she nodded, handing the phone back to him like it had cooties on it.

"Well, yeah kind of," he admitted, his face warmed. Awkwardness hung in the air between them.

Casey let out a shaky breath. "I miss…" she began.

"Your husband," Derek filled in the blanks. Of course. Because every conversation went back to Mike.

Casey laughed. She actually laughed, like Derek was being ridiculous. "Well, I was going to say sex," she smiled. That sickeningly sweet smile, way too innocent for the topic at hand. "But yeah him too, obviously," she added.

Derek was shocked to hear it. To hear Casey speak so openly. He imagined that there was a lot she was holding in. "When do you think you'll get back out there?" he asked, taking a tentative sip of his chocolatey drink.

"Never," she laughed. "When Lucas was 18 and off to college. I don't think he could handle seeing me with anyone," she answered more honestly, staring at her hands in her lap.

"Not at first. But he wants you to be happy too."

Casy just shook her head. "What about you? When are you going to find love and happiness Der? Something more than just meaningless sex I mean," she asked softly.

"Sky _normally_ doesn't care about me dating." He was still stuck on that comment she made when he was in Vegas. "So I'll date. If it happens, it happens. But I won't introduce anyone to her. The kid's had enough heartbreak. I don't need to add to it."

"Is it hard? Dating as a single parent?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't do much of it. Only a few dates here and there. Nothing serious. So I'm not sure...Why? Are you thinking about it?"

"I don't know," she breathed out. "I don't even remember how to flirt, let alone date. It's been so long."

"You flirt with me just fine," he murmured, looking down.

Casey just smiled. "It's different with you," she blushed.

Derek didn't want to get into that conversation. Silence covered them like a blanket on that cold night.

"Till I'm ready, guess I'll have to get a vibrator," she shrugged, nonchalant.

Derek choked on his hot chocolate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling about our idiots in love? Is this enough slow burn for you?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one with all the callbacks and some feels.

Derek was half asleep in the den, sprawled out across the couch taking an accidental afternoon nap. He'd been busy all week, leaving him with very little time with Sky. So, he made sure he was free by the time she came home from school that afternoon. He was itching to catch up with her over food. Their relationship had changed so much over the past few months, he loved it.

He didn't expect to wake up to the sound of sniffles, however. He opened his sleepy eyes and was greeted with the sight of his daughter standing in front of him, completely distraught. Her glasses were gone. Her eyes were bloodshot and watery. Her cheeks painted with tears and her nose was runny. Her trembling bottom lip was sucked into her mouth, teeth digging into them to stop the sobs from spilling out of her chest. Sky wasn't a crier, but there she was.

" _Oh, honey_ ," Derek cried out as his heart completely broke. He had never seen her like that. Instinctively he pulled her into his lap, wrapping her up in his protective arms in a way only a father could. As if he were a shield, a physical barrier to keep the world from hurting her. He had no idea what had happened. But his baby girl was upset and he would do his absolute best to fix it.

Dealing with Marti and Casey over the years, he knew enough about crying women. He couldn't ask any questions just yet, they would go unanswered. She was still in the thick of it. Hiccups and sniffles and full-blown sobs wracking her small frame like fireworks. So he just held her in his arms, rubbing calming circles on her back, smoothing her hair down and away from her face. He let his shirt absorb most of her tears till it too was soaked and stuck to his skin like a second layer. But none of it mattered. He would drown in an ocean of her tears if it helped.

"Are you hurt?" he eventually had to ask. Because if they needed to do a hospital run, sooner was better.

She shook her head against his chest and he relaxed at least a tiny bit. "Baby... you're scaring me," he admitted, whispering the words into her hair. Because he was scared. It was all very unlike her. Something happened and he still had no idea what it was. "You don't have to tell me everything. But please, give me _something_ ," he begged his daughter.

She was quiet for a while, her sobs calming the tiniest bit. "Girls…" she started before burying her face into his neck again. "Are mean," she choked out the words with a new wave of sobs.

He gripped her tighter in his arms. _Fuck_. He knew she could protect herself from physical harm. But emotional? He had no idea how to fix that. "I know sweetie," he cooed into her hair. "I'm so, _so_ sorry," he added. "I don't know what they said or did. But I can promise you this, they have no idea who you are. They don't know how amazing and intelligent and sweet my daughter is. So you know what? **Fuck** them!" he added, maybe _too_ enthusiastically. Mostly because he was pissed that some little brats hurt her, but still.

A small chuckle escaped her lips, he took it as a good sign.

Eventually, when the worst of it passed, he slipped her small frame off his lap and onto the couch. Automatically she curled herself into a ball, trying to comfort herself. Derek frowned, wrapping a blanket around her like armor. Tucking it in around her frame tight. He put on her favorite movie, _Princess Diaries_ , and dimmed all the lights, knowing her eyes were hurting from all the tears. And she probably couldn't see without her glasses, wherever they were. But it didn't matter. She knew the movie line by line.

Although the last thing he wanted to do was leave her side, he was deep into papa bear mode. She needed water. The crying had taken it all out of her and he knew it. She needed something for the headache that would sink in shortly. And she needed food.

"Pizza or burgers?" he asked her, pressing a kiss to her damp forehead.

"What?" her voice was broken when she stared up at him with swollen eyes.

Derek ran a hand through his hair and tried not to cringe too hard at how broken she looked. "You need to eat. So, pizza or burgers? Or maybe sushi?" he offered, considering.

"Dad I'm not-"

Derek shook his head not having any of it. "Pizza. Burgers. Sushi," he repeated like a mantra.

She burrowed her head into the couch cushion, pulling the blanket up higher to cover her face. "Extra pepperoni," she eventually decided.

A grin broke out across Derek's face. "That my girl," he replied with pride

Casey desperately wanted to join them. Luca had told her about Sky coming home in tears. She hadn't stopped texting Derek since. But Derek didn't let her. He pulled his daughter into his side, and they watched her favorite movie together and pigged out on pizza. He even got her a pair of glasses from her room so she could see better. He didn't ask any questions knowing she'd share when she was ready. But when the movie finished and the credits started to roll, and still hadn't spoken, he gave up.

"Listen kiddo…You don't have to tell me what happened today. But you need to tell _someone_. You probably wish you had a mom right about now..." he gritted out, his heart aching in his chest. _Fucking Monica. She didn't have to love him. She didn't even have to raise Sky. But couldn't she at least be there? A phone call away?_ "So, I understand if you don't want to talk to me. But, you should talk to Casey at least. She went through a lot in high school. _I_ put her through half of it. And she survived. She's an amazing mom. Rumor has it, one of her hugs can heal a broken heart. She'll know exactly what to say to make it better," he promised. Casey was itching to wrap her arms around Sky, and it wasn't like Derek was going to get anywhere with her.

Sky smiled up at him softly, shaking her head as if in disbelief. "Dad, you already made it better," she promised. And then she snuggled into his side again and put on the next movie.

* * *

Derek had finally agreed to coach the HS team for the following school year/season. Sky was threatening him with a PowerPoint presentation of pros and cons if he took any longer to make his decision. So, he said yes.

The official season had already ended, but Derek wanted to get ahead of the curve to see what he was working with. He decided to offer a few voluntary practices so the boys could meet their new coach. Almost the entire team showed up, telling him everything he needed to know about his team. Granted, the team was feeling him out, just as much as he was them. He approached it like any one of his consulting jobs: with an analytic and logical eye. He knew he had to put aside the senior players who would not be on his team the following year to understand what the team needed to fill that void. He even thought that maybe he could convince Luca to join the team. (Granted he had never seen Luca play…Maybe there was a reason for that.)

He was in the middle of reviewing some of the team's footage when Sky popped her head into the basement. She practically _begged_ him to go help a very emo Luca who was driving her insane when she was trying to focus. Apparently it was over a girl?

Derek was surprised to hear it. Luca had never openly harped on a girl, much like Derek's younger self. So naturally, with all the intrigue in the world, Derek paused the footage and went to find Luca.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Derek asked, crossing his arms over his chest from his spot leaning against the doorframe. He had found Luca pacing the length of his bedroom with his phone in his hands.

Luca rolled his eyes. "As if Sky didn't already tell you," the teenager scoffed.

Derek shrugged, not bothering to lie. "I got the gist of it. But why are you sulking?" Derek asked, taking a seat at Luca's desk while the boy continued to pace.

"Ellie left me on read," Luca grumbled.

Derek was getting old because he had no idea what that meant. "Right. Of course, she did," he nodded along like he understood that. "What the hell does that mean?" he finally asked when Luca didn't take the hint and fill in the blanks.

Luca ran a hand down his face, annoyed. "It means she opened and read my message... and chose not to reply."

Derek took a deep breath. _Children_. "Ok. Walk me through this. How long ago did you text her?"

"An hour."

"An _hour_ and you're freaking out? Dude, she has homework. And friends. And family. And TikTok!" Derek himself fell into hour-long _TikTok_ loops, so he understood. "You think that she's purposely ignoring you? If she doesn't reply by tomorrow...then yeah, ok. Maybe she's just not into you kid. But give the girl some time. For all you know she's in the group chat with her friends trying to come up with the perfect response."

Luca stopped his pacing, taking a seat on his bed. Derek considered that a win. "Yeah...maybe," he finally said.

 _Teenagers_!

* * *

"Soooo, my 16th birthday is coming up in a few months!" Luca started, during dinner. "Who's teaching me to drive?!" he asked, his eyes were locked on Derek like he was the answer.

"Oh no," Derek shook his head immediately. "Don't look at me, kid," he chuckled. He did not want that responsibility. Plus when it was Sky's turn, she would be attending Casey's school for driving.

"Yeah, _don't_ look at Derek. For your 16th birthday instead of a license, he'll throw you a surprise party you don't want while you're in the hospital getting your appendix removed," Casey said, pointedly with a little shrug.

"Hey, I had _nothing_ to do with your appendix!" Derek argued, feeling the tiniest bit offended. He knew he had ruined her birthday, but that wasn't why.

"Wait… what happened?" Sky asked, smiling at the pair. Derek knew his daughter loved to hear about their stories. She was like an archeologist, trying to dig up the missing pieces of the untold story of Derek and Casey. With each passing conversation, she got one step closer to the truth.

"I wanted a classy sit-down dinner for six. Derek rented out the entire restaurant, knowing I didn't want a party," Casey explained.

"You would have had fun!" Derek groaned. He still believed she would have enjoyed herself...eventually. After getting over the initial annoyance, he knew she'd let loose and dance.

He remembered her 16th birthday vividly. Even more so, he remembered the dress she wore. The dark burgundy velvet dress was just so Casey. She looked beautiful that evening. The cut of it showed just enough cleavage to tease him. And with the silver button all down the front... He spent months imagining how painstakingly long it would take to get her out of it. And the matching little choker necklace she wore with it? Yeah, it was memorable, to say the least.

Derek shook her head free of his inappropriate thoughts. "Plus, who snuck in to see you at the hospital after visiting hours?" He turned towards the kids to explain. "I even stole a pair of scrubs and made it to her before midnight just to show her the birthday video I whipped up when she was under."

"That's actually really sweet dad," Sky beamed, giving him the response he wanted.

"Thank you. At least _someone_ appreciates the lengths I went to!" he replied glaring at Casey.

"He also helped sneak my boyfriend in," Casey added with a small smile. "It was sweet," she admitted.

Derek rolled his eyes. "I forgot about that part," he replied dryly. In retrospect, Max was one of Casey's better picks.

"And for _your_ 16th birthday, I threw you a birthday party that you actually wanted! And yet, I couldn't even get a hug!" Casey argued.

"Yeah yeah," Derek dismissed her with his hand. There were reasons why he couldn't hug her. And they were _not_ getting into that. Not in front of the kids.

"Guys... what does that have to do with me driving?" Luca asked not caring to reminisce with the parents.

Derek groaned. He hated to admit it, but he would have to. "Casey may have gotten her license on her first try. And taught me to drive, sooo I'm no help there," he explained. But he was happy he had the perfect excuse not to teach Luca. Teaching was hard!

"What he means is, you're _stuck_ with me," Casey beamed at her son with a smug smile.

* * *

Casey was rinsing off dishes after dinner. The conversation at the dinner table about their 16th birthdays made her a little nostalgic. Looking back at it, her time in the Venturi-McDonald household was relatively short compared to how long she had known the Venturi's. But those three years sleeping a wall away from Derek were fundamental to who she became.

"Hey," Derek's voice pulled her out of her memories

"Hmm?" Casey hummed. There was something about Derek's presence that calmed her. Soothed her soul. The last few months had been… interesting to say the least. She knew the way she missed him when he went to Vegas was unhealthy. It's like her feelings were shifting away from Mike and harping on Derek instead. Maybe it was a coping mechanism? All she knew was that when he wasn't there, she missed him. But he wasn't hers to miss. When she found that gray teddy bear sitting in the center of her bed, she thought maybe he missed her too...

Casey knew the coast was clear of teenagers when Derek leaned against the cabinets to watch her with dark eyes. "I really am sorry about your 16th birthday, you know," he explained. His voice was low like he didn't want to be overheard. And that sent tingles down her spine because that meant he was up to something. A secret between only them.

Was she getting an apology from Derek? Sure she had gotten dozens throughout the year. But in her little nostalgic bubble of 16-year-old Derek, it was odd. Casey looked up at him and nodded, giving him a knowing smile. "Yeah, I know."

"And for what it's worth, that dress you wore on your 16th..." he trailed off, getting a faraway look in his eyes. Casey remembered her burgundy maxi dress. She loved it. "Trust me, you put me through hell that day... for _multiple_ reasons." he finished, his eyes roaming over her like she was still wearing it.

Casey considered those reasons for a second. She knew that flirting with Derek was risky. To him, it was just fun to rile her up. But to her…it was different. Slowly she smiled up at him. "Oh yeah?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I think it's in a box somewhere. Want to wear it sometime?" she teased back.

"Oh, I'm sure it would look better on the floor," he winked, brushing past her.

"Der-ek!" she groaned, feeling her face flush from embarrassment. Every time she thought she had the upper hand, he'd prove her wrong.

* * *

It was inevitable, wasn't it? Written in the stars the second he agreed to move in with her. It was like they completely forgot what happened when they used to live together the first time around. Putting them under the same roof again...it was dangerous. They always had that unresolved sexual tension that buzzed in the air between them like lightning. And coupled with their history… they were playing with fire. The little flirty comments and sweet gestures were only making things worse.

He wasn't sure how it happened. But it did. (Of course, it did.)

It all started because Casey wanted to watch some crappy reality TV show. Naturally, Derek sent her upstairs to the living room. There was _no_ reason for her to watch it on his tv in the den with him. So, he took the remote back. And then she launched at him like they were teenagers again.

Dejavu much? But it was just an excuse, wasn't it? An excuse to touch, to be close to each other. He really couldn't explain how it happened. He just knew that one minute they were sitting on the couch like civilized people… and the next minute they were full-on wrestling. Casey was pinning him down to the floor, thighs straddling his hips like it was a normal occurrence between them. Her body laid on top of his. stretching out as far as she could go. She was reaching for the remote he held in his hand far away from her.

They were so caught up in each other, their bodies flush, squirming against one another in the worst of ways, panting breathlessly. But she was there, a few inches away from his face, groaning as she tried her best to reach his hand. His free arm wrapped around her waist, gripping her tight to still her movement above him. He needed her to _stop_ squirming on top of him. It was making things worse for him.

It didn't help that she was wearing that stupid Vegas shirt, three sizes too big. It fell down one shoulder, exposing her silky skin to his hungry eyes. She smelled like him too. And she was so close. Her breath fanned out against his skin. It would be so easy to close the gap between them. He was hypnotized by her. She could have the remote, whatever, he didn't care.

Finally, her eyes found his, and the realization hit her like a pile of bricks. She froze all movements and just stared. She seemed to be right there in the moment with him. He swore it was her that started to move closer. They were only a breath apart from kissing. (He wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt.)

He could still remember that last time they had kissed. In her dorm room, as a greeting. Right before their last fight. If he would have known it was going to be his last, he would have savored it more. Sunk his teeth into it. Not let her go.

But maybe that wasn't their last kiss? He tilted his head up to meet hers. He was impatient. He dropped the remote and curled his now free hand up and around the back of her head, pressing her closer. He felt her back arch, pressing her body into his. Their foreheads were flush as they both breathed into each other, staring. The build-up only increasing, a knot coiling tight in his body.

" _Case_?" he whispered like it was a question, a plea.

She licked her lips like she was anticipating it. Her eyes fluttered closed. Somehow her hungry fingers made their way into his hair, tugging at the strands in the way he loved so much. It was her answer.

That moment lasted a lifetime. Her body flushed and pressed up against his. Her legs spread over his hips, thighs pressing into his. Her chest heaving against his slamming heart. Her closed eyes and glossy way she fit in his arms like no one else ever could.

Before he knew it, he was going for it. His lips barely brushed against hers when they heard him.

"Mom!" Luca called from somewhere upstairs.

Like a bomb that had gone off Casey was off him in an instance. The trance was completely broken. He had no idea she could even move that fast.

"I...uh...I'm sorry," she murmured, staring down at him confused. She reached a hand up to her mouth, her fingers touching her lips gingerly, almost like she couldn't believe that had happened. Her face flushed in recognition. She shook her head before running up the stairs leaving Derek on the floor with his heart in his stomach.

" _Fuck_ ," he breathed out. Letting his head fall to the floor with a thud. It was getting bad again. He felt like a fucking teenager. Like the house was closing in on him and all there was in the entire world was _Casey McDonald_. He ran his hands over his face trying to scrub the moment from his mind, his body.

He had to get out soon. Or he'd ruin everything again with his stupid feelings.

* * *

The school year had ended. Grades had come in. The kids did great. And they were both free for summer vacation. Unsurprisingly, Luca had plans to spend the summer lounging around doing absolutely nothing. Although he did plan on spending a month at his dad's family. They had a pool after all! Sky on the other hand had a laundry list of projects she had planned to do.

To celebrate the end of the school year George and Nora had a barbeque for all their grandchildren.

Sky was running around with Ed's twin girls in the back yard, throwing water balloons at Luca. It almost looked like he was having _fun_ playing with his younger cousins. (Although he did find a water gun and took full advantage of it.) But everyone else, including his aunts and uncles, ganged up on him, so it all evened out in the end. It was a joy watching them. Their delighted screams filling the air, the smell of burgers (beef and veggie) thick around them. Having her entire family reunited was rare. There were just so many of them now. With spouses and kids. It was hard to find time to get together.

Casey was sitting at the patio table in the back porch with Lizzie and Marti. George was on the grill and Nora was his sous chef. Ed's wife, Claudia was inside with Lizzie baby boy who did not like the summer heat. (Claudia had baby fever and everyone knew it!) Lizzie's husband, Matt, Ed and Derek were inside watching some game. Casey was so relaxed, enjoying the sun on her skin and the company of her family when she felt Derek take the empty seat next to her. Her eyes had been glued to the kids running around, but she knew, by the scent and feel of him in the air. She knew without looking.

"Hey Case," he started gently.

Marti and Lizzie, the traitors that they were, took the opportunity to excuse themselves from the table, Leaving Derek and Casey alone.

Casey felt Derek's eyes locked on her. A shiver went down her spine. She had been avoiding any alone time with him ever since that night in the den. She had messed up. She had given in. She tackled him like they were teenagers. But really, she had just been waiting for an excuse to do so. She purposely was hanging out in the den with him, trying to wind him up by watching the most obnoxious reality tv show she could think of. She wanted a good fight with him, those were always fun. She didn't mean to end up rolling around the floor with him. She didn't mean to dip her head down to meet his. Or to bury her fingers in his soft brown locks. But she did. And that was all that mattered.

"Yeah?" she asked, not looking at him. She busied herself trying to capture the rare moment of the kid getting along. She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't look at him without blushing. Without remembering how good it felt to be pressed up against him, yearning to touch, to kiss, to _taste_ him. It was a moment of weakness, and she blamed herself for it every day since. Luca almost saw them. She couldn't imagine the implications of that.

Derek took a deep breath. She just knew he was about to drop something big on her. "I think It's time we move out," he finally admitted.

 **Boom**. Casey sucked in a breath closing her eyes tight if only for just a second. Slowly, she turned to him to look into those brown eyes, the ones that captivated her heart over two decades ago. "What?" she asked. She couldn't have heard him right.

She watched Derek pull his gaze away from her. It seemed like he couldn't stomach looking at her either. He took a pull of his beer before speaking. "We survived the school year. The kids have calmed down. I'm sure you want your space back." He tried his best to smile. To make it seem like he was doing her a favor.

Her heart raced in her chest at the idea of him leaving her, _again_. "I _really_ don't," she promised.

She was on the edge of a full-blown panic. Things had finally started to feel normal. Well, except for the almost...sorta kissing Derek part. But her day to day life... her routine. Waking up in the morning. The house with the kids. It all felt normal. And he was trying to rip it away from her. The first ounce of normalcy she had felt since Mike. She wasn't going to let him. She'd beg if she had to. She needed it. She needed him, them. All of it.

Derek let out a huff of breath, clearly unconvinced. "Are you sure?" The way he said it, the infection, the _bass_ in his voice, god it felt like he was asking her a million other questions. _Are you sure you still want this, me, us, around? Are you sure we can keep this up? Are you sure this is still helping? Are you sure we can trust each other?_

Casey scrubbed her tired face. She'd have to get herself together if she wanted Derek to stick around. She'd have to calm down and shut down that part of herself that wanted more. Reign it back in. She'd do whatever she had to keep him around. Maybe she just needed to get laid? Maybe that would help? Maybe she'd finally download one of those stupid apps. She thought about her ex's...The idea of sleeping with one of them felt safer. But the only single one was Truman and Casey would never consider him.

She nodded. "With you gone Luca probably won't even come home. And I'll be alone in that big house all the time. Please stay. Just a little longer, Der," she pleaded softly with those puppy eyes that she hoped would melt his resolve.

It was all bullshit and she knew it. She was just grasping at straws. He hardly spent time alone with Luca aside from family dinner and forced family bonding activities she made them do. But she knew he wasn't going to call her bluff.

"Ok," he finally agreed. "We'll stay for a little while longer." He sounded reluctant about it, and that broke her heart a little.

Was it that bad? Did he hate being around her that much? She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking. She hadn't realized just how much she needed him, till she thought about losing him again. Her heart just couldn't take another hit like that.

* * *

Casey was going out to the bar, with the girls. She needed to get laid. (She needed to get herself under control around Derek. She couldn't just jump his bones!) She was beyond nervous. But thankfully she was going out with the girls. Derek caught her before slipping out. He told her to call when she wanted a ride home. He got in the habit of always offering himself to her. And that just made matters worse. He felt responsible for her, didn't he? Maybe that's why he wanted to leave already? Because he was tired of babysitting her.

The bar was full of options. Lots of them. Emily and Marti were helping her scope out the place. Lizzie couldn't slip away for the night to join them.

"You could just ask my brother to scratch that itch for you," Marti murmured, taking a sip of her sugary cocktail.

 _If only_ , Casey thought to herself. "What about that one?" Casey asked, eyeing a tall blonde at the bar, pretending she didn't hear Marti's suggestion.

Emily didn't seem the slightest bit surprised by Marti's comment about Derek. She didn't comment on it, but Casey was sure she had some thoughts. "Don't see a ring on that one," Emily supplied, confirming Casey's selections. "Go get 'em, tiger."

Casey took a deep breath and made her way over to the bar. The man in question turned to her, blue eyes twinkling when they landed on her.

"Hi, I'm Casey," she introduced herself hoping her smile was enticing enough.

Andrew was gorgeous with a brilliant smile and pretty blue eyes that matched hers. They talked for a while... And then they made out at the back of the bar. Kissing felt good, it felt right, like it was something she needed. But she couldn't get Derek out of her head. So ultimately, she couldn't do it. She just wasn't a one night stand kind of girl. (Shouldn't she have been thinking of Mike instead? But Mike would have wanted her to move on. But Derek… would he?)

* * *

Marti sent him a text that night and gave him a heads up that operation Get Casey Laid (GCL for short) was in full effect. She may have also told him to get the stick out his ass and just talk to her about his feelings. Derek groaned throwing his phone aside when he read the message. Maybe that's what she needed. Hell, it was what they _both_ needed. But it didn't mean he had to like it.

"Did you wait up for me?" Casey asked Derek who was in the living room when she got back home a lot earlier than he expected. She also didn't _look_ like she had just gotten ravished. He could have asked Marti it operation GCL was a success, but he figured it was best not to know.

"I…" he trailed off shaking his head. "Yeah, I kind of did. I couldn't sleep till you got home," he shrugged. He was being honest, not pulling some sort of excuse. What was the point in lying to her? "But your home, so…" he got up, making his way towards the basement stairs.

"Night Princess!" he called out.

* * *

In a weird turn of events, the kids pulled together their allowance to send the parents on a nice night out. Dinner and a movie. It was sweet, _too_ sweet honestly. It had Derek on edge. What were they up to? It wasn't anyone's birthday, so it wasn't a surprise party situation. The kids tried to convince him that it was just a thank you from them. The school year had ended, and the parents needed a break; a night off.

The restaurant the kids picked wasn't anything special. Their allowance wasn't much after all. But it was still a nice local Italian restaurant where they normally got their favorite pizza from. However, the kids _demanded_ they order the pasta, wine, and dessert because who doesn't like cannolis?

And so they did. They both got dressed up and went out to dinner. Derek drove them over in his black SUV and even opened the car door for her when they arrived. They sat at the classic red and white checkered table, the smell of tomato sauce, garlic, and oregano thick in the air. Derek sat across from Casey like he was on a date with her, for the first time in too many years.

"Come here often?" Derek teased, taking a sip of his water eyeing her. The cheap wine they ordered hasn't arrived yet. He figured that he could at least pretend it was a date. Even if it was just practiced for her. (He would always just practice for her.).

"Sometimes. I haven't seen you around though," she played along, blinking her long eyelashes at him. As if she had to try to be cute.

"No, you haven't. I would remember eyes like yours." He didn't even feel like he was playing a character. He could never forget Casey's blue eyes.

A deep flush filled Casey's cheeks and Derek took it's a good sign. "I bet you say that to all the girls," she murmured.

"Only the ones I wanna go home with," he replied.

Casey rolled her eyes. "You don't have to lay it on so thick you know. Me and you? Consider it a done deal!" she winked.

Derek broke character chuckling. Yeah, they were a done deal. "I still can't believe we survived the school year. It was touch and go there for a few months," he remembered the Luca and Sky fights.

"I know." Casey groaned, tilting her head back, rolling her shoulders like she was trying her best to relax. Maybe she needed a massage. Derek could help with that. Some oils dripping down her smooth skin, hands rubbing away every ounce of stress she had in those muscles. Yeah, he needed a girlfriend. Or a stable hook up at the very least. Somewhere he could release that pent up sexual tension. Because he had to be normal at home with her if he was going to stay.

Casey's voice broke him out of the daydream. "I can't imagine what it was like for our parents. We can hardly handle these two. Imagine five?!"

Derek knitted his eyebrows. "I really can't…" he trailed off. Then a question formed in his mind, "You know, there's something I always wondered. Why didn't you have any more kids? I mean, Luca was like what 14, like when Mike died? I'm surprised there weren't more rugrats running around." Casey was in a loving marriage for over a decade. How did they only manage to have one kid? If he was her husband, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of her.

The mood shifted then. Derek didn't realize he was walking into dangerous territory, but the way sadness washed over her, he knew it was the wrong thing to ask.

Casey fidgeted with the paper napkin on the table, fingers ripping it into confetti. "Getting pregnant isn't easy for me. Luca's kind of a miracle. I lost two pregnancies after him," she admitted, eyes locked on the table between them. Like she couldn't fathom lifting her eyes to meet his gaze.

"Shit. I'm sorry Case. I didn't know. I shouldn't have-"

She shook her head. "No one knew. Not even Mom or Lizzie. Just me and Mike. It was still early days, both times. But it still broke a piece of me I never got back. I always picture them to be girls. I don't know why. We never got a chance to find out. I like to think Mikes with them now, you know?" she said, offering him a soft smile.

"I just ruined our one night off, didn't I?" he asked softly after a while. Not knowing what to say. His hand reached across the table, his thumb skimming her open palm. He wanted to hold her hand, hold her through all the shit she had endured. And most of it in silence.

Casey shook her head, dabbing her teary eyes. She had gone through so much in her life. With and without him. It hurt. "You're fine," she promised, her voice cracking only a tiny bit. One hand slipped into Derek's open palm naturally. "So," she tried, smiling this time. "Why didn't _you_ have more kids?" she countered, trying to muster up as much spunk as she could.

"Sky is my entire life," he admitted, without even thinking about it, cause it was true. "I feel like shit knowing the mother she was cursed with. And I never want to do that to a kid ever again. Did you know I tried to marry her? I should have known better, but… I wanted to give Sky what I didn't have. "

"What? When did that happen?" Casey stiffened, not liking the news.

Derek shrugged. "When we found out she was pregnant. I wanted to bring a baby into a stable marriage. I wanted to give her a home. But, she said no. Sky was only 4 when I got hurt and Monica left."

" _That bitch_ ," Casey hissed with venom. She never cursed. But she had a few choice words for Monica.

Derek smiled, in love with the fact that he got to see that side of her that no one ever did. "Yeah, well, it was for the best. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. The few years she stuck around for…" he trailed off letting out a breath. God those were hard years. Losing Monica didn't hurt at all. It was what Sky lost that truly hurt him. "Maybe one day I'll get married and have another one. But who knows when that will be."

"Hopefully soon. You're an amazing father Derek. I wish I would have seen more of it, early days. Tiny little thing curled up on your chest." Casey smiled and it was a sweet one full of tenderness and awe.

Derek smiled back because he knew exactly what she was picturing. "Oh I've got all the pictures, don't worry. I even got her dressed up in my jersey, cheering me on at my games. I'll show you sometime," he promised.

Pictures were the only thing Monica did right. She always had her phone in hand ready to get the most perfect shot. She should have been a photographer, but she wanted to be a model, so her social media was filled with beautiful pictures. Derek got to benefit from that. He had a million stylized pictures of Sky. Even the three of them. And he had to admit they did look good together. Like a perfectly curated Instagram family. But once the perfect photo was captured, Monica completely forgot about them. She'd spend hours editing the pictures, adjusting the colors and filters making them look absolutely perfect.

At the end of the day It was Derek's job to bathe his baby girl. Scrub out whatever hair products Monica has used on her. Put her in jammies and rock her to sleep in his arms. They used to fight about it in the beginning. But he quickly learned it was his job to take care of their daughter. So instead of using the energy to fight with his girlfriend, he used it on Sky. He knew he should have just broken up with her, but he didn't want to be the one to ruin his daughter's home. Part of him was grateful when Monica finally left them.

He thought about her from time to time. They spent over five years together after all. When they first started dating they had fun, a lot of fun. She was adventurous, spontaneous, and daring. And unbelievably sexy with long blonde wavy hair with tan legs that went for miles.

She took the best pictures of Derek. She liked to dress him up like her own personal ken doll and Derek let her cause it was cute at first. Plus once she got the picture she wanted he took the phone out of her hands and started undressing her. She'd giggle in his arms and tell him he was impatient as her hands pulled his shirt off his chiseled frame. She loved posting about her insanely hot hockey player boyfriend and boasting about their relationship on her social media. One of her top-rated pictures were the ones where she posed in his black hockey jersey with nothing else on. She was any guy's wet dream, so Derek didn't care about her social media obsession at the time. He understood that she wanted to get recognized and it all came with the territory.

But the more attention she got from being his girlfriend the more different she became. And then she got pregnant... He was really surprised when she turned down his proposal. Posting a picture with a shiny ring would have made for a great boost to her social media following after all. He did love her at some point, so it did hurt. But regardless, he was forever grateful Monica didn't want to marry him.

When the wine and appetizers arrived, they were both very ready to gulp it down.

* * *

They were supposed to go see a movie after dinner. Some three hours long superhero blockbuster. But Derek was pretty sure they were going to ditch it and do something else together. Relish in the alien time they rarely ever had. (Although the idea of sitting next to Casey and pulling all his high school moves to hold her hand was tempting...)

When Casey went to the bathroom to freshen up after dinner, Derek stayed at the table, scrolling through his phone. He hadn't touched it since they sat down, giving her his undivided attention like she deserved. He opened his phone to notification and groaned. So much for a nice evening together.

Casey came back from the bathroom with a fresh coat of burgundy lipstick painted across her lips. She was gorgeous in the little polka-dotted dress she had worn. He wished so much that he didn't have to ruin the evening for her. That he could hide it from her somehow, like Lucas black eye. But this one.. this was too big to hide.

"Ready to go?" She asked, sitting across from him once again.

Derek took a deep breath. "Case…" he began.

She recognized his tone instantly. Worry washed over her features. "What?"

"Don't freak out," he started. Because of course, he knew she was already freaking out.

"What? What's wrong? Is it the kids?" she asked, panic bleeding into her entire body. Her hands were fumbling in her purse, already looking for her phone.

Derek cringed. He didn't want to tell her. But he had to. There was no way around it. "Ok. So here it is. Quick and dirty. I'm pretty sure that the kids set this whole thing up… to throw a party at the house," he finally explained to her.

"What? Why?" Her face flickered between a few emotions, till she decided on denial. "No way. You're just messing with me. You're losing your touch, Venturi. There's no way that's even possible. They wouldn't. _Sky_ wouldn't!" she clarified quickly. Like he was testing her or something.

Derek gave her the sweetest smile he could muster up. The thing was, deep down she was his daughter so yeah, Sky _would_. Under certain circumstances, he really believed she would. "I'm pretty sure," he replied, sliding his phone over to her. Someone on the hockey team posted pictures in their house. Classic red solo cup in hand, a blonde teenage girl draped over his shoulder with her tongue out. In the background, clear as day was Casey's house. And as if there was any doubt, the caption read "Party at coach house!" And Derek was tagged in the picture, which is how he saw it in the first place. _Amateurs_.

With a shaky hand, Casey returned the phone to Derek. She looked so sad, heartbroken even. Truly hurt to be betrayed by the kids in such away. "What do we do?" she asked softly, her voice broken and resolute.

"I don't know. They… they _worked_ together. For like the first time since they've met….they worked together? I'm kind of, oddly...proud?" he shrugged. He had to admit it, it was nice to see the kids working together for once. But he just wished it was for a better cause...

" _Derek_ ," she sighed, her head falling into her hands.

Derek frowned. "I know honey," he breathed out. "Ok, let's get out of here," he got up offering her his hand.

With a heavy sigh, she picked her head up and slipped her hand slipped into his, fingers locking together like they were puzzle pieces. He squeezed her hand and led them out of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by Taylor Swift's folklore on repeat. "In my defense, I have none/ For never leaving well enough alone/But it would've been fun/If you would've been the one" Is the 1, Casey's anthem? I think so.
> 
> Sorry, this is WAY later than usual. It took forever for this chapter to feel fleshed out enough. But we got a little emo there, didn't we? With a sad Sky. And an almost sorta kiss. And sad Casey. And MONICA! Did you feel it too?
> 
> Did you enjoy the callbacks? (Bonus points if you caught all 4 episodes I referenced!)
> 
> Let me know what you think about getting a closer glimpse of Derek's past. Monica is…something else.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one that changed everything.

The party was in full swing when the parents arrived. (Did they kids think it would have cleared out by the time they came home? Granted, it would have been after midnight because those superhero movies were entirely _too_ long, but still!) It was the typical teenage house party. Shitty loud music blaring through the entire house making the floor shake with the bass line. The smell of cheap beer and smoke lingered heavily in the air. Derek didn't want to think about where the stuff came from. The house was dark, but there was just enough light to see the teenagers mingling around, talking, dancing, drinking, red cups sloshing around, tongue down throats. Derek shivered at the thought of someone losing their virginity in _his_ bed at that very moment. Casey was practically hidden behind him not wanting to deal with the situation. Her left hand was against his lower back, clenching a fist full of fabric for dear life.

Derek sighed, it was exactly what he expected. His spidey senses had been tingling since the kids mentioned the parents going out and having 'fun.' It wasn't a surprise party but it was a party alright. He should have known better. The teenagers around him didn't seem the slightest bit phased by the parent's arrival. They probably didn't even notice them come in, too caught up in their little bubble.

With a shake of his head, he took the lead and a deep breath before letting out an ear-piercing whistle. It was what he did at the rink that worked to get his team's attention. And it seemed to work at the party too, being heard even above the music.

The entire house froze and quieted down, all eyes on him. Deer in headlights, all of them. Shitty music continued to play, adding background music to his epic dad moment that he never knew he would have. The pressure was on, but he knew he was the adult in the room. Oh, how the tables had turned.

Derek put on his best stern face. One he didn't have to use often. He was used to being the chill, laid back reserved kind of guy. But not tonight. "Parties over!" he declared. His voice was crisp and absolute. "Everyone go home. And if you're on the hockey team, I _highly_ suggest you take the back door out," he warned. He had already decided that he was going to have the team run three miles in September, just to remind them of that very moment when they decided to attend a party at coach's house.

Instantly the teenagers scattered in all directions. The music cut off and Derek hit the lights. He watched it all unfold, with Casey tucked into his side with wide eyes. It looked like a madhouse as the teens bumped into one another, gathering their things and trying to leave as soon as possible. Eventually, they filtered out through all exits until only two remained.

"Mom…" Luca started. His cheeks were flushed redder than Derek had ever seen. Derek would have thought that maybe Luca was drunk… but his long blonde hair sticking up in all directions. Either he was stressed out... or there had been fingers deep in that mass of hair minutes before the parent's interruption. (And was that a hickey on his neck? Or a classic 'curling iron' incident?) Derek could only assume what Luca had been up to. Probably the same thing 15-year-old Derek would have done. They were alike, those two.

"Dad, I…" Sky started at the same time. His eyes shifted to his daughter. His flesh and blood. Half of the reason he was out for the night and the house was free for a party. And damn if it didn't sting a little...or a lot. Sky had changed outfits since he last saw her that afternoon. She wore a cute yellow dress he didn't remember ever seeing and even a hint of makeup. But underneath her black-framed glasses, her eyes were blown wide, staring up at him with sad Bambi eyes. She was scared and didn't know what to do. She had never been in that position.

Derek wanted to tell her that it was ok. That he understood. That teenage Derek had done the same thing and had gotten caught too! But he couldn't say any of that. Not really. Because he was supposed to be mad. And he wasn't mad. He was just... _upset_. She lied to him, set him up. As if he would have said no to a party. He would have said yes! (But maybe Casey would have said no…) Parenting was hard. Every time he thought he had a handle on it, the rules would change.

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to three. Finally, feeling calmer, he looked up at the kids. "So, this is what's going to happen," Derek decided to take charge of the situation as Casey was still silent by his side, her eyes darting everywhere, assessing the damage done to her house. "You two are going to clean this up. You're going to make it look like nothing ever happened tonight. And we'll be back in a few hours." His eyes landed on Sky again. "And then we'll talk," he added, before walking toward the garage with Casey right behind him.

No words were exchanged. It seemed like Casey had nothing to add. She simply fell into step with him like they were in sync with each other.

In the garage, Derek wordlessly handed Casey the spare helmet. She pulled it on like a pro like she had done it a million times. And in another lifetime, she had. He climbed on top of his bike turning it on and letting the engine purr to life beneath him. Casey followed suit. He felt her press up behind him, arms curling around him tight. Her helmet pressing into his shoulder blade. Without giving it a second thought, he drove.

Driving had always been so claiming for Derek. Freeing almost. Anytime he was stressed out he'd go for a long drive and just...forget.

When they arrived at a stoplight, his hand left the handlebar, curving around her knee and calf that were closest to him. He _needed_ to touch her. He _always_ needed to touch her. It was only then, when he felt her chilled skin under his fingertips, that he remembered that she was wearing a dress. He hadn't even considered it, maybe she didn't either. Regardless, her bare legs were wrapped around him. Derek groaned, squeezing her once before returning his hand to the handlebars. Casey McDonald's legs may very well be the death of him.

He ended up taking them to Chester Hill Lookout, a secret observation desk. It was one of Toronto's best-kept secrets, a stop along the highway with the best view of the city. But at night, it was mostly empty. They used to go there when they were creeping around during their high school days. Or when they were back home from college and just needed an escape. In the distance, they could see the heart of the city. The CN tower all lit up and pretty. And if you looked closely, past the city lights, you'd see the stars blinking across the night like glittering diamonds. It welcomed them like a beacon.

He steadied her body when he got off the bike, his hands on her hips. He knew it had been a while since she was on a bike, or at least _his_ bike. Slowly she removed her helmet. She looked dazed and confused. Maybe it was the bike, maybe it was where they were. Or maybe it was just because of him. He took the helmet from her, hanging it off the handlebars with his own. He helped her off the bike and onto the steady ground. She swayed a little but was mostly ok. That's when he noticed the look in those teary blue eyes. A storm brewing behind them.

" _Princess,_ " he groaned, pulling her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his middle and held onto him.

"Was my driving _that_ bad?" he asked, hoping to make her laugh.

Casey must have gotten herself out of control cause the tears never came. She shook her head. "I just hate punishing him. Why does he do that?" she grumbled. Her voice mumbled against his chest, but still, he understood her. The night was cool against her skin. He rubbed up and down her bare arms, warming her up. He wished he had his leather jacket, but it was a relatively warm night when they had gone out to dinner earlier.

"Cause he's a teenage boy who's not thinking about what his mother might be feeling. And he didn't do it alone. Not this time at least," he had to add, taking Sky down with Luca. They were both to blame.

"If Mike were here-" she started.

"But he's not," Derek interrupted. He couldn't let her go down that road. Mike was gone. He had been for a long time. There was no point in going down that route. He spun them, turning to lean against the bike, keeping her tucked in his protective arms. "And we can't do anything about that. So, what's the game plan, McDonald?" It was her house, after all. He'd follow her lead.

Casey chuckled softly. "The game plan? I don't know," she shrugged. "We go home and I just go to bed and pretend that we went out for dinner and a movie because the kids wanted to treat us? Pretend that nothing happened?" she offered looking up at him like he had all the answers in the world. That was certainly different.

Derek winced in response. He knew she was defeated. He knew that she was not ready to be the bad guy. "I'd take care of it if I could. But I don't think he'd listen to 'stern uncle Derek' right now." He thought about it for a second. What punishment would fit the crime? Casey could be ruthless... she could ground him for a month, change the wifi and take away all electronics. She'd ruin his teenage life if she did that. Then, an idea came to him. "When we get home, let's just sit them down. You can ask him what he thinks his punishment should be. And if it sounds fair, just leave it at that," he offered, giving her an easy out.

Casey nodded, agreeing. They fell into a comfortable silence. She never made a move to pull away from Derek. Her arms were wrapped around his back, her nails slowly dragging across the expanse of his back in little arcs. He felt her brunt nails over his cotton shirt. He wished her hands were touching his skin instead. He kept his arm around her waist, pressing kisses everywhere he could reach with her head pressed against his chest. He was glad he had put on his fancy cologne that evening for date night. Casey was completely drinking him and he didn't mind at all.

"Hey," he spoke after a while into the quiet night.

"Hmm?" she hummed against him, he felt the vibrations ripple through him.

Gently he tilted her face up to look at him and watched those stormy blue eyes. His thumb brushed against her jaw gently, teasing her. It took everything in him, every ounce of willpower to not move the few inches to kiss her, cause they just weren't doing that again. "So, this isn't how date night was supposed to go," he joked, the corner of his mouth kicking up a bit. "But I mean, I knew you'd end up in my arms... _eventually_ ," he finished, his tone light and airy. He hoped it would do the trick to get her out of the funk she had fallen into.

Casey rolled her eyes, but she did smile. A real smile made just for him. Then she got on her tippy toes, putting them even closer. She reached up a hand, a thumb brushing across his bottom lip like she was thinking about making a move. And then, a delicious smirk pulled across her burgundy lips and he knew he was in trouble. So much trouble. But she was always his favorite kind. "At least _try_ to keep it in your pants, would you Venturi?" And then she dropped down to her normal height, turning around in his arms. She pressed her back against his chest, tilting her head back to look up at the stars.

Derek chuckled, wrapping his arms around her middle, keeping her flush against him. He ducked his head down. "Trust me, honey, I'm _trying_ ," he whispered against the shell of her ear.

He felt her shiver in his arms, and he loved every second of it, knowing she was just as effective as he was. And just cause he was an asshole, and just cause she made that snarky little comment, against better judgment, he acted on his feelings. He dragged his mouth down from her ear to her throat and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. He felt her pulse against his lips and wanted to lick the pulse point. She tilted her head, giving him more space to work with, so his tongue peeked out. His lips and tongue traced the familiar skin. Kissing Casey, holding her that way, it felt like coming home. Like slipping into your favorite pair of blue jeans that fit just right.

Her only reply was Casey's heavy breathing against the quiet night air.

Derek didn't want to leave any marks on her skin, so he had to resist the urge to nibble on her. He remembered how much she liked to be bitten. The noises she would make when he sank his teeth into her perfect skin. Even though he badly wanted to hear all her little sounds, he knew he shouldn't be pushing his luck.

Casey was squirming in his arms. Pressing herself against him in the worst (best) ways. Her hands laid on top of his arms, her nails digging into his skin while she tried to ground herself. "What's wrong, Princess? Can't keep it in your pants?" he countered, his words muffled against her skin.

She huffed out a laugh, understanding what he was doing. She didn't say anything for a while, and he didn't tease her any further. He allowed her to simply relax against him and he did the same thing. Eventually, her nails retracted and she calmed down. He did nothing but hold her till the moment passed. They were both tempting fate and needed a breather.

Softly, she spoke again. "Do you remember our first kiss?" she asked gently.

A grin pulled across Derek's lips. "Of course," he replied. Because there was an obvious reason his subconscious drove them there. "You got into a bad fight with Nora and I drove the Prince up here. You sat on the hood and watched the stars."

"And you... watched me," she whispered so softly.

"I did," he confirmed, remembering that night so vividly...

_He didn't know what had happened but all he heard was Casey yelling. "You just don't understand, mom!" Followed by her stomping up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door closed behind her._

_Eventually, curiosity got the better of him, so he knocked on her bedroom door. She told her to go away, but naturally, he didn't listen. Slowly he opened up her bedroom door, dangling his car keys like a waving flag of surrender._

_"What?" she asked, confused._

_"Wanna go for a drive?" he offered._

_And for the first time since they had known each other, Casey didn't argue._

_It was a quiet drive. He didn't ask and she didn't tell. But it was comfortable. When he parked the car they both wrapped around to the hood. Casey, seeming calmer, took a seat against the hood of the Prince. Derek took the spot right next to her, leaning against the car. Her legs pressing against his side._

_It was a chill April night. And the temperature dropped a few degrees the higher up they went. They left the house so fast she hadn't taken a jacket, so Derek slipped his precious leather jacket off his shoulder, offering it up to her wordlessly. She wrapped herself in the jacket, pulling it tight across her smaller frame. But she was still pouting and Derek couldn't help but smile. She was such a goddamn_ princess! _(And she was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. He was finally starting to realize that that's why she drove him so insane.)_

_Eventually, she must have felt his eyes linger on her cause she turned, narrowing her eyes at him._

_"What?" he asked, feeling defensive under her glare._

_But Casey didn't answer. Not with words. They were so close… she tilted her head up, putting her face closer to his. Her eyes darted from his brown eyes to his lips. He knew what he wanted, but would she kiss him? Her small cold hand came up to cup his jaw and then he was sure of it. Those pink soft lips pressed against his for the first time and it was magical. Like catching lightning in a bottle. The feeling zapped through his entire body, lighting up every synapse he had. He didn't move a muscle. Not believing it. Slowly she pulled away, her eyes blown wide, panic starting to set in._

_And then the shoe dropped. It was real. Not another one of his dreams. Derek moved, stepping into the space between her knees, arms wrapping around her middle, pressing her against him. He dipped his mouth down to hers again before she got a second to freak out on him. She eventually caught up with him, her cold hands framing his face, holding him to her. He caught her bottom lip between his and a little whimper escaped her._

_Heaven. She was what heaven tasted like._

_"Hm," Casey hummed, pulling away from him._

_"What?" he asked, worried about the freak out that still lingered_

_"I've been wanting to do that for a long,_ long _, time," she admitted with the softest little smile._

"Do you regret it?" Derek asked. Did she regret kissing him that night eons ago? And everything that came after. It was all because she had the guts to do what he did not.

"Never," she replied

And in that moment he couldn't help but believe her.

He didn't regret it either. None of it. Not that first kiss. Or the last one. Not the heartbreaker or the brief romance. It was all meant to be, if only for a little while.

* * *

The house was quiet when the parents walked back in. It was pretty clean too, considering. The windows were all open, fans running in hopes to get the smell of smoke out of the house. The lemony scent of cleaning products lingered above everything else which was an improvement. The kitchen was relatively clean. The garbage had already been taken out. Luca was vacuuming the living room as Sky scrubbed at a stain on Casey's precious cloud couch.

The kids froze when they spotted the parents at the back door.

Slowly they snapped back, putting the cleaning supplies down and taking seats on the couch. They sat side by side, their heads hung low, like prisoners awaiting trial. Casey sat in the opposite armchair, a hand holding her head up like she was physically unable to. Derek balanced himself on the arm next to her.

The air was tense around them. Who would start the negotiations?

Luca, the daring one, spoke up first. His light eyes darted between Derek and Casey, unsure who he should speak to first. "So, how much trouble am I in?" he asked, straight to the point. He sounded serious. Like he realized just how badly he had messed up. Or how badly Casey would react.

"How much trouble _should_ you be in?" she asked and she sounded so defeated it pained Derek. He wanted to wrap her arms around her. Give her some sort of support. But he knew it was best he didn't. She needed to stand her ground. Even if she felt like crumbling.

"I…" Luca started then stopped, shutting his mouth. "Grounded for three weeks?" he finally offered after considering her question carefully.

Derek was impressed with the kid. He would have started with one week if it were him. Maybe Luca wasn't like Derek. Maybe he was better. Hopefully.

Casey thought about it for a second. She was probably thinking the same thing. And then she nodded, agreeing to his terms. "And if I find anything broken, you're paying for it out of your allowance," she added.

"Ok," Luca agreed, knowing well enough then to argue with her. All things considered, that didn't sound so bad.

Instead of sending him to his room, Casey just stood, taking herself upstairs, leaving the rest of the family gawking at her. But Derek understood. She didn't have anything left to give. She took the steps so slowly, Derek was starting to think she was physically hurt as well.

Derek turned to the teenagers who were just staring at him. He felt the pressure to give them… something? Say something at least. But what? His brain was so scrambled, the entire night was a blur. But before he could come up with a response Luca jumped in again.

"It's not Sky's fault. She didn't want to do it. I convinced her it would be fine. It's all my fault." Luca chimed in, defending his little cousin.

Sky said nothing, eyes trained on her feet. The entire situation was giving Derek major flashbacks...

Derek sucked in a breath and nodded. He appreciated the kid's honesty and hoped it wasn't a ploy for Sky to take the fall, the way he had done with Casey all those years ago. "Thanks, Lu," he replied.

And then the boy too disappeared upstairs.

Derek was left staring at his daughter. The thing was, he wasn't _ready_ to talk to Sky. He had no idea what to say to her. So, he was going to put it off for a bit longer. "We'll talk later, ok kiddo?" he decided, getting up before she got a chance to respond.

With a heavy sigh, he walked upstairs. Nothing he could say or do could make Casey feel any better. But, if she had gone on a _real_ date that night, she would have probably come home, poured herself a glass of wine, and pampered herself a bit. She loved to sit in the afterglow of a good date. He remembered that much from his time living with her.

Keeping that in mind, he entered the upstairs bathroom. He turned on the hot water first, letting the bath slowly fill up. He rummaged around the cabinets until he found her assortment of bath products. Taking a guess he poured bubble bath into the running water. Bubbles were always a good call. He also found some bath oils, marketed to help you relax. He poured some of that in as well, having no idea how much was too much. Whatever it was, at least he tried.

While the bath filled up, he went back downstairs to raided their liquor cabinet. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Sky still sitting on the couch, waiting for him. His heart dropped. He wished he could take Caseys approached and just pretend none of it happened.

Thankfully, teenagers don't seem to like wine, so all of Casey's favorites were still there, untouched. He poured her a hefty glass, debating whether or not to just take the bottle up to her. But she didn't need to wake up with a wine hangover. Those were brutal enough on their own. With a glass in hand, he walked back upstairs to her bedroom.

Her bedroom was dark when he peeked his head in. Casey laid on her side, the gray bear he had gotten her curled up against her chest. He knew she was borderline crying. She was tired and upset and the entire night had taken its toll on her. But, he was trying to avoid more tears. "Come on, Case. Get up," he told her, offering the glass of wine as an incentive.

Casey groaned, sitting up just enough to take the glass from his hands.

"Up," he told her, offering his hand.

Casey grimaced at his words. "Der, _please_ -" she whined.

But he was having none of it. She had no idea why he was asking her to move. "Come on. Don't make me carry you. You know I will," he threatened. It had been a long night and he needed her to just listen to him for two seconds. And he didn't want to carry her. They had enough close calls for one night. (Too many. He had gone too far and he knew it.)

Her eyes widened at the possibility and his determination. Slowly she got up, leaving her bear on her bed and followed him out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. Her eyes lit up when she found what Derek had done for her. The dark bathroom lit by only two candles. Her warm bath was full of fluffy bubbles and the smell of lavender floated in the air. "Der,'' she cooed. "You didn't have to do all of this."

He didn't have to. But he wanted to. Taking care of her came so naturally to him. It took more work to suppress the feeling. "Try to relax," he begged, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, before closing the door behind him.

* * *

Before heading downstairs Derek had one more thing he needed to do. He turned toward Luca's bedroom, finding the door was ajar. Softly he knocked on the door.

Hearing Luca's "Come in," he pushed the door open but didn't step inside. He simply leaned against the door frame, looking in.

Derek found Luca lying in bed. His hands clasped together across his chest. His eyes locked on the ceiling above him. The boy seemed to take his grounding seriously. His phone was nowhere in sight. His laptop still closed on his desk. Again Derek was impressed.

"I'm not here to give you shit," Derek started. "I just," he sighed. "You have got to calm down, Luca. Between you and your father…" Derek trailed off. "I can't get her to stop crying," he admitted. And maybe he shouldn't have told Luca that. But honestly might be the best policy in their case.

Luca's head rolled towards Derek. "She's _crying_ because of this?" the teenager asked, his voice cracking reminding Derek of how young he truly was.

Derek shook his head. "Not yet. She managed to keep it together so far, but I think that has more to do with the shock of it all. But give her a few more minutes. Check in on her tonight, ok?" Derek frowned. He couldn't do it. Not again. He had reached his end of the line. "She hates punishing you, kid."

Luca closed his eyes like he couldn't stand to look at Derek any longer. Maybe he did feel bad. "I'll do better," Luca promised.

And Derek believed him.

* * *

"Dad?" Sky called when Derek made his way back to the main floor. Sky was still sitting on the couch waiting for him. _Shit_. He forgot about that. It was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Hey," Derek breathed out, running a hand through his hair. It had been a _long_ night.

"Are we going to talk?" she asked nervously.

"Right. Yeah, come downstairs with me," he replied, already headed down the basement steps. He too was starting to feel very defeated by the night's events. It was past midnight. He just wanted to face the plant directly into his pillow.

Derek took a seat on the coffee table in the den across from Sky who sat on the couch. Silence lingered between them for a few seconds. He knew he would have to say something.

"I don't know how to do this," he admitted pointing between them. "I've never had to punish you. You've never done anything wrong. So I'm kind of in foreign territory right now." He took a deep breath hoping the answers would just come to him. "I don't even know how to feel right now. Or how to act. So you gotta give me a second to adjust." He pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a headache coming on.

"It's my fault too. It may have been Luca's idea, but-"

Derek cut her off. "You had your reasons, I'm sure."

Sky nodded just once. The look of guilt washing over her features.

"Do you want to walk me through it?" He needed to understand the thought process. His daughter was not impulsive. She must have had solid reasons and a pro/cons list to match it.

She cringed. "I don't think you want to hear that it was because of a boy," she muttered, a flush of red coloring her face.

Derek shrugged. He figured that the only thing that would make his straight edge daughter go bad had to do with the hormones sweeping through her body. "Well, did he show up?"

Sky chewed on her lower lip. But again, she nodded.

"And, was it worth it?" Did she get what she wanted?

Eventually, she shook her head no, her eyes filling with tears. He wasn't sure if it was because of the boy or because they got caught.

Derek nodded. "Listen kiddo, I pulled the same shit when I was 15. And, I convinced Casey it would be fine. We ended up locked in the bathroom for most of the party. And got caught by dad and Nora. So I want to make it clear, I'm not mad at you for doing something that I've done. That wouldn't be fair." Getting stuck in that bathroom with Casey was the beginning of the end for him. It solidified that she was not his sister. (Not even a little bit.)

"I'm just hurt you lied to me. As if I'm not the cool dad who would have said yes. You didn't have to trick me." That was the part that hurt. "I'm supposed to be a parent. And I don't know how to do that right now," he shrugged, telling her the absolute truth. "If you would have just said 'hey dad, I want to throw a party,' chances are I would have laid down some ground rules, and said yes. But, this isn't my house. So there's a thin line I have to walk here. Do you get that?"

Sky nodded.

Derek scrubbed his face. Cause this was the hard part. "I hate that you lied to me. I've never lied to you. Even when I probably should. But you lied to me. You purposely mislead me. And that hurts." His voice was low and soft cause that was what was bothering him. Not the party. The lie. The fact that the kids told them it was a treat. But it was an excuse to get them out of the house.

"I know. I'm sorry dad. I really, _really_ am." And she genuinely sounded sorry. "And, I know you would have said yes. But we knew you wouldn't have been able to keep it from Casey. And there was no way she would have said yes. Not to an unsupervised party," she explained.

And it made complete sense. He would have said yes, only to have Casey say no. Or have Casey agree only to have her supervise the party, which he knew would make the kids just cancel the whole thing.

Derek hung his head at the predicament.

"What do you think about us moving out? Having our own space? One where I have control... Where I can help you navigate these kinds of situations better?" He was trying to make it sound like a good idea. He was still having trouble convincing himself to leave Casey's house.

"What? No," she answered like the idea hadn't even crossed her mind. "No, dad. Luca drives me crazy, but Casey's amazing. I don't want to leave," she sounded almost panicked.

Derek nodded, understanding. "You need to apologize to Casey tomorrow morning. Make her breakfast in bed or something. She refused to believe you had any part of this… but I knew better," he admitted, looking down at his hands.

Even though Sky was against moving… he knew they had to move out and soon. The evening only cemented his decision. He realized that his feelings for Casey were back in full force. No point in pretending anymore. He simply could not stay away. He didn't _want_ to. His body _ached_ to be near her. To kiss her. And that was stupid. Oh so very stupid. Because it would end badly. No way around it. She'd break his heart all over again. And living in the same house? He didn't need to put Sky through that. And he didn't want to sneak around either. They were way too old for that. His options were to move out before things got bad. Or move out once they did. And that didn't sound fun at all.

He also needed his own space to govern. Sky would have never lied to him if they had their own place. His mind was set about the whole thing. Although he didn't like making decisions without Sky's input, that's what being a parent was. Being an adult and making the hard call.

"I'm not going to punish you for something I've done," he reiterated. "But, I need you to at least _consider_ the idea of us moving out soon. This was never meant to be permanent. We can't just live in Casey's house forever kid," he added.

"What? Dad…" she cried, her eyes filling up. "No. I rather punish me. I'll do the dishes for a month, a year! I'll wash the cars and the bike. I'll hand over my phone. Whatever you want," she bargained.

Derek shook his head, taking his daughter's hands into his own. "This isn't meant to be a punishment. It's something I've been thinking about the last few weeks. Tonight was just the cherry on top. Being here...it's not _easy_ for me. Not anymore." He bit his lip hoping she wouldn't ask any more questions. Hoping she'd just piece it together and let him have it. "I'd make sure we'd stay in the same school district. I'd let you pick everything. Hell, if you want to move next door I'll put in an offer tomorrow. I just need... _space_ ," he explained, squeezing her hands.

" _Oh_ ," she finally whispered, slouching back into the couch looking broken. And that's when he knew that she got it. His brilliant daughter finally understood what was going on with him. "I...Yeah. Ok," she sighed, whipping her eyes. It was clear that even though she understood, it still hurt her. "If that is what _you_ need dad… Then ok."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one. But a good one.
> 
> Chester Hill Lookout is a real place. I know the city is prob VERY far from where LWD is supposed to take place in but just roll with my limited Canadian knowledge, please and thank you!
> 
> FYI to clarify: Sky is 14/15 (HS freshmen) through the fic. Luca 15/16 (HS sophomore). They're about a year apart! (Similar to D + C in LWD!)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one where things get a little spicy, (I uh… bumped up the rating. Oops!)
> 
> Someone commented that Derek is constantly taking care of everyone and no one is taking care of him. And yup- you're 100% right! But don't worry. Someone's gonna take care of Derek alright!
> 
> Got a lot of negative feedback on Casey's actions in the last chapter. She will be redeemed. I promise. Just hold on just a bit longer!
> 
> (The one where Derek gets taken care of.)

**That afternoon...**

Derek tapped his knuckles lightly against Sky's bedroom door. It was already ajar but still, he respected her privacy the same way he enjoyed his own. "Hey, kiddo. Can we talk?" he asked before barging in.

Things were a little off since the party incident. (Everything had been off since then...) But between himself and his daughter, it was because Sky knew that Derek wanted to move out. And although she understood it, she was still heartbroken about leaving Casey… and maybe even Luca?

Sky looked up from the book in her hand and nodded before putting her bookmark in and placing it on her bedside table. "Uh oh. What did you do?" she asked with the teasing grin.

Derek tried his best to smile. He did. But he couldn't muster it as he made his way into her room, closing the door behind her. Everything _sucked_. Things with Casey sucked. Moving out, sucked. Even work had him in a funk. Things are getting dark. And they were only about to get darker.

Sky's face fell, feeling the vibe he must have been giving off. "Dad?" she asked weary, sitting up in her bed. She must have felt the seriousness in his body language. Or maybe the look on his face. Whatever it was she caught on quick, that brilliant daughter of his.

Derek fell into the seat at her desk where she normally spent hours doing homework and projects. He picked up a pen, playing with it, clicking it to distract himself. He wished he had a different reason for being in her room. He wished he had something _good_ to tell her. Maybe he would plan something. A museum outing? A trip back to LA before school started in August so she could see her old friends? Something. Anything, really… They both needed it.

"Dad?" she called again, gaining his attention. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. He released a heavy sigh. "Did...did you find a place?" she asked, softer, tilting her head to the side as if to get a better look at him. Like she was dissecting him.

"What?" he asked, confused. It took him a second to realize what she was asking. She thought he was coming in to break the news about them moving. But no it was worse. Much _much_ worse...

"Oh, that. No, not yet," he replied, clearing his throat. "It's… your mom," he finally explained. The word tasted like _vile_ in his mouth. Monica didn't deserve the title. But what else was he going to call her? He did his best not to be so open about his disdain of her around Sky. At the end of the day just cause he hated women did not mean the Sky had to feel the same. She was her own person with opinions. Derek tried his best not to let his negative feelings bleed into hers.

"Is she ok?" Sky asked instantly, stiffening.

And yeah, maybe he should have worded it better. He didn't need to scare his daughter just cause he was upset "Yeah, sorry. She's fine," he quickly promised with a fake smile, hoping to calm her.

"Ok," she said, relaxing a bit. "So, what about her?" she asked cautiously.

"She's in town," he finally spit the words out of his mouth. He leaned back into the chair, looking up at her. He watched the emotions flash over her face. Confusion. Hurt. Sadness. Then lastly, anger.

" _Oh_?" was all she said. He could see the look in her eyes like she was buffering, the information still processing in her mind.

Derek nodded, ready to drop the _real_ bomb on her. "Yeah, and… she wants to see _you_ ," he breathed out, wincing.

"What?" A new sort of panic blanketed her from head to toe.

Derek leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, trying to get closer to her. He put a hand on her ankle since it was closest to her. "Hey, you're ok. It's, ok," he promised his daughter. "As your only guardian, I can deny her request easily. I can be the bad guy. I wanted to just say no….Actually. I _did_ say no," he admitted, sheepishly. He was a little embarrassed by the way he reacted to the request. "But, you're growing up, you're smart enough to make your own decisions. Just cause I don't want a relationship with her, doesn't mean you can't. So, I'm just letting you know that she's in town and wants to see you. And if you want to see her, you can. It's an option. And if you don't, that's completely fine too." He tried his best to explain the situation. He tried not to be biased. But It was really hard not to show his true colors when it came to Monica.

Sky was quiet. Real quiet. Derek wracked his brain for what to say. What could he say that he hadn't?

"How...how long is she in town for?" she asked softly. She was picking at her nails, eyes locked down, she couldn't look at him.

Derek knew her head was spinning with thoughts. He wanted to ease her mind but did not know how. "Till the end of the week. She leaves Sunday. She's here for some photoshoot and wanted to stick around a few days… just in case," he shrugged. He still wasn't buying it.

"Did you see her?" she asked, looking up at him.

Derek nodded. He felt extremely guilty about it for a thousand reasons. He should have told Sky the second he got the text. But he didn't want to. He didn't want to worry her if there was nothing to worry about. But suddenly there was. So he was telling her. "Yeah, I saw her earlier today," he replied, trying his best not to sound as guilty as he felt. He had taken a shower since seeing her, but he still felt her smell on his hair, her touch on his skin and it was nauseating. Or maybe that was just the vodka...

"How was it?"

Derek sucked in a breath. How could he explain it in the least amount of words? How could he tell her without lying? "Awkward and weird. And there was tension. A lot of it..." he trailed off, mumbling. A lot of sexual tension as well, but Sky didn't need to hear that. "She knows she's not allowed to take any photos of you," he pointed out. "If you decide to see her, I mean." He felt very protective of Sky and Monica's weird social media shit.

Sky gave him the saddest lopsided smile. "She _does_ take pretty pictures. I'll give her that," Sky shrugged.

Derek smiled back at her, catching on to what his daughter had just admitted to him. "Do you keep up with her?" he asked softly. He wouldn't blame her. He figured she would.

She bit her lip and considered her answer. "Sometimes. When Mother's day comes around. Or her birthday. I look her up…" she admitted, sounding shy about it. "Dad, I don't know if I want to see her."

"That's ok. You have a few days to decide. And if you chose not to that's completely fine. I'll pull the guardian card on her. I'll gladly take the hit if she pitches a fit." Truth be told he was _not_ looking forward to having any conversation with Monica. But he would. He'd do anything for Sky.

"But… If I change my mind if I want to see her, would you be disappointed in me?" she asked, nibbling her bottom lip.

_Shit_. It seemed like he was as covert about his feelings as he thought he was. He never wanted Sky to feel bad about wanting a relationship with her mother. "Never," he promised, and he meant it. "It's your decision. I'll support you whatever you choose." Derek put sky in therapy at a young age. He didn't want her to have mommy issues the way he did. But he knew that nothing would completely erase the void Monica left.

"What do you think she wants from me?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know, honey. Probably just to talk. To see you. To catch up, like an old friend. See what you're like." _Nothing more_ , he thought. He didn't want Sky to get her hopes up that her mom wanted to be a permanent part of her life. Granted when Sky was 18 she could have that. But while Derek was her legal guardian he did not think that was the best idea. He simply could not trust that Monica could keep her word and Sky didn't need to get hurt again. Plus, there were only about three years left where he could legally protect her from Monica.

"I'm probably not the daughter she would have wanted anyway."

To that, Derek didn't know what to say. Monica didn't get a chance to get to see Sky's personality kick in. But science, math, and band? Probably not something Monica would have understood. "Your everything _I_ wanted," he answered truthfully. He wouldn't have it any other way.

A tear slid down her cheek and it broke his heart. "You don't have to see her," he reminded his daughter. The idea of it already causing her pain and he hated it. Why did Monica come into town? Things were rough enough without her. But there she was, stirring up the pot...

Sky nodded once. "I know. Thanks for giving me the option, dad. I know that's hard for you," she said with a half smile.

Derek nodded, crossing the room to press a kiss to her forehead, brushing the lone tear away. "I love you kid," he told her. His hand buried in her hair hoping his love for her was enough.

"Yeah, I know," she replied.

* * *

Casey had been pacing the kitchen waiting for Derek to come downstairs. She didn't know much. She just knew that Monica was in town. Derek had met up with her. And more importantly...she wanted to see Sky. Casey knew Derek was leaving the decision up to Sky...but she couldn't help but be anxious about the whole thing. She felt protective over Sky like she belonged to her. And Casey _knew_ it wasn't healthy and that Sky wasn't hers... but Monica felt like a monster that Casey needed to protect Sky from. She was surprised that Derek was even _entertaining_ the possibility. She wouldn't have been that strong.

"Sooo?" Casey asked when Derek _finally_ came back down from Sky's room.

Derek looked like shit. She knew the Monica stuff took a toll on him but he looked like a train wreck. His hair a mess, pushed up and out in every direction like he had been running his hands through it all day. His eyes were sunken with dark circles like he hadn't slept in days. And deep down she knew he probably hadn't. Not since getting that text from his monstrous ex. Casey wished she could help. She knew food was the way to his heart, so she was going to make his favorite as soon as Marti sent over the recipe.

"So?" Derek replied dryly like he had no idea what Casey was asking. He seemed completely and utterly defeated. Zombified, almost. The conversation with Sky must have gone bad.

"How was it?" Casey asked, keeping her voice down, practically hissing. "With Sky," she clarified like she could have meant anything else.

Derek frowned, ducking into the fridge to pull out a water bottle. "It went... as expected," he shrugged leaning against the kitchen counter guzzling down half the bottle. He was avoiding her eyes. But she didn't think much of it. He just must have been tired. The day must have taken a toll on him.

" _Well_ , does Sky want to see her?" That's what she wanted to know after all.

Derek was quiet for a second. "I think so," he finally said. His eyes flickered up to meet hers for just a second before looking away.

Casey didn't know what to say, but she wanted to comfort him. "Are _you_ going to be ok with that?" She asked softly. She'd go with him. Or with Sky. Or whatever Derek needed. She'd do it. She knew how much help he had been over the past few months. She was finally ready to be there for him. For _them_.

Derek huffed out a small chuckled, shaking his head. "Probably not," he admitted bringing the water bottle back to his lips.

Casey bit her lip, unsure of herself. "I'm sorry Der. It would be a lot easier if she just stayed away."

"Yeah, it would," he nodded, tossing the empty bottle into the recycling bin, making his way towards the basement stairs. It seemed like he was done with the conversation. With the entire day maybe.

Casey eyed his movements closely. His distant far awayness that put her on edge... A question blossomed on the tip of her tongue. "Did you... sleep with her?" Casey asked softly before he was through the basement door. She didn't know why, but she felt it in the pit of her stomach. The truth looming above her.

Derek's entire body froze like she had hit pause on a movie. She felt the blood rush from her face. "What?" he asked. As if he hadn't heard her correctly. But he didn't turn to look at her. He kept his back to her, pin straight.

Casey's heart sank. That alone was an answer. An answer she didn't expect to hurt so much. But it did. She knew Derek slept with other women, he was well in his right. A single man. He didn't belong to her... But out of all women, _Monica_? That one hurt more than it should. Casey just nodded to herself, the puzzle pieces fitting together enough to show the whole picture. "I'm not asking because I think you owe me anything. I just… she doesn't deserve you, Der." She heard the jealousy in her voice and hated herself for it. But it was true. Monica didn't deserve Derek or Sky.

Derek turned halfway to face her. His eyes were dark and cloudy. She hadn't seen that look flare up in him in a long _long_ time. His walls were crumbling, she could see it. He had been so strong for so long. But this one broke him. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, press kisses to his skin, and remind him how amazing he was.

But then he spoke.

"She doesn't deserve me. But my daughter deserves a home," he replied dryly.

Casey flinched, taking a step back as if he hurt her. Because he had. Not only by sleeping with Monica. But by implying that Monica could ever be Skys home? She knew Monica was a sore subject, but she wasn't expecting that sort of snap reaction from him. "Sorry, I thought she had already had one," Casey whispered, mostly to herself. Before she allowed him to reply, she turned to leave because he'd be damned if he saw her shed a single tear.

* * *

Derek didn't _mean_ to snap at Casey. He really didn't. She just...hit a sore spot. A very sore spot. Literally and metaphorically speaking. Because he _had_ slept with Monica earlier that day and he was hating himself for it as expected. And Casey was pushing that button... He didn't even mean it. Monica would never be their home. And clearly, Casey had no inkling that Derek was moving out. She still thought of her home as their home...Things were getting messy, fast.

It started earlier that day...

_"What do you want, Mon? Why am I here?" Derek asked his ex-girlfriend, almost wife, his child's biological mother. He was unamused, already annoyed with the entire situation. He had met her at her hotel, at the cute little cafe on the ground floor for coffee. Or, was it brunch maybe? Because Monica loved brunch and more importantly, bottomless mimosas._

_She looked beautiful, as usual. Her small petite frame paired with her signature high heels putting her closer to his height. Her dirty blonde hair hung in a curtain of perfectly loose curls and her pouty pink lips glistened with the taste of campaign and orange juice. Her golden-brown eyes framed with long lashes just stared at him like magical portals. If only those eyes could take them back to before it all went wrong. If only they could have made it work, for Sky…_

_"I don't want anything, Der. I missed you is all," she explained with a half shrug. Her entire vibe was very nonchalant. No big deal._ Casual _. They looked like the polar opposite. Her, a goddamn ray of sun…. And him, a gray cloud._

_"Yeah, right," he scoffed, mostly to himself. He didn't believe her. Not for a second._

_"I do! I miss you_ both _," she added, blinking up at him slowly. She pouted just enough to give her the illusion of innocence. She should have been an actress the way she could easily spin lies...Or maybe she did miss them. Maybe that's what she believed._

_Derek stiffened in his seat. He felt so protective of his daughter that Monica_ alluding _to Sky's existence triggered him. "What do you want?" he asked again, more aggressive at that time, punctuating each word with silence. His eyes were shooting daggers at her, and his patience was wearing_ very _thin._  
 _  
_

_"To see you," she replied, conviction in her words. And he believed her too. "You look good, Der,'' she added, softer that time. A hand reached out to caress his knee. "Good," she smiled, like a Cheshire cat. He felt her eyes dance over his body like he was naked. Like she could see every inch of muscle that was hidden under layers of cotton and liked it. Slowly the hands on his knee inched up his thigh, her nails scratching at the denim just enough for him to feel it. And between the look, she was giving him, her sultry voice, and her hands, it was all working to melt his bad attitude away. She had always been good at that. A master manipulator._

_"Come upstairs with me," she cooed, leaning into his space, her legs practically between his spread ones. It looked like she was seconds away from climbing into his lap, right there in public. It wouldn't have been the first time either..._

_Derek broke the trance, looking away from her eyes, sucking in a breath. Upstairs... to her room. Subtle. Real subtle. He thought she wanted to talk to him about something. But no. Just sex. He should have known better._

_"No," he finally replied when he got his foggy thoughts under control. He hoped his voice sounded more sure then how he felt._

_"Please?" she asked, in her soft and honeyed voice he remembered so well. (A voice he often gave in to.) The tip of her heeled foot grazed along his calf. Her hand on his leg had moved up, her thumb rubbing along the inside of his thigh; she was getting too close to more interesting parts of him._

_Derek's eyes dropped to her foot, her toes painted pale pink and those nude colored heels that strapped halfway up her calf. His eyes traced the length of her bare legs. Soft smooth skin... Her legs had nothing on Casey's, but they weren't half bad. Not at all. He remembered how well they wrapped around him and suddenly he was missing the feeling..._

_"Come on, for old times sake," she practically purred. She must have felt his reserve wavering. Her voice luring him in further. "You know you want to," she teased, the corner of her mouth tipping up. She knew exactly what she was doing._

_Derek's eyes drank her in like a starving man. The cute little fitted dress that hugged her frame like it was tailor made. (It probably was.) There had always been an attraction there._

Obviously _. And he was already so pent up and frustrated with all things Casey. And it had been months since he had sex. So Monica, sitting across for him, doing all the things she knew he liked, practically tempting him with a carrot….well, it was very hard to resist._

_Would it be so bad if he went upstairs with her? He knew exactly what he was in for. Sex with Monica was always an adventure. And it was never dull…_

_He finished his coffee, placing the mug on the table, smoothly getting up from the table. When she didn't make a move, eyes locked on him, he cocked his head towards the exit. He knew it was a bad idea. One of his worst ones yet. But why the hell not? Their sex life was never a problem. He knew it would ease the sting for him. The need for Casey while he looked at apartments. It could dull the ache. In any other situation, he'd tell Monica to fuck off. But she had popped back up in his life during an ideal time. Maybe they would be using each other. What Monica gained from it, he wasn't sure. She could get any man she wanted. But it appeared like this time she wanted him._

_A grin pulled across her pretty lips when she realized what he was telling her. She lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree. Derek was even surprised. Was the prospect of sleeping with him that exciting? Maybe being home with Casey had humbled him..._

_Whatever it was, she was up and out of her seat, wrapping herself around his arm in a second. Her entire body was practically humming against him the entire way up. It was almost annoying, but not quiet._

_Derek went straight for the minibar when they got into her room. He cracked open a tiny bottle of vodka and took it down like a shot, no chaser. He welcomed the familiar burn the same way he'd welcome her. Day drinking wasn't his style anymore. He wasn't as young as he used to be. But he couldn't go through with it 100% sober._

_Monica eyed the empty bottle and gave him a wicked knowing smile. "You don't waste time, Venturi." she teased, throwing her bag down, slowly sauntering over to him. He watched her hips shift with every step like she was hypnotizing him._

_"I never did," he replied, reminding her of who he was. And what they were to each other._

_When she was close enough, he curled one arm around her body tight, pulling her flush against him. He couldn't remember how it happened, but his mouth found hers like a magnet, they just clicked. The citrus taste of mimosas still lingered on her tongue and he lapped it up, chasing the bubbles. Like clockwork, their bodies moved together in a choreographed dance they were both classically trained in. They knew what they were doing._

_Sex with Monica was rough. Which was good, because that's exactly what he needed. He wanted it to hurt. He wanted to blame himself for the stupid impulsive decision he had made. His brain had left the building, all blood rushing south. Her hands fisted his shirt as she moaned into his mouth. His hands made fast work of getting her out of that dress._

_But she was just as antsy as he was. She was everywhere, all at once. She managed to rip her mouth away from him before sinking to her knees, those nimble fingers and manicured tips worked his belt open like an expert. Derek sucked in a breath, briefly wondering if he was going to go through with it. And then her fingers were on his bare skin, and her lips were pressing wet sloppy kisses down his happy trail, leaving shiny pink lipstick smudges along the way._

_All logical thoughts went out the window fast._

_At some point in the middle of the rush she tried to convince him she was on the pill, she wanted him fast and didn't want to waste time. Thankfully the little bit of control he still had in the back knew that that was completely insane for multiple reasons. His mind exploded with a million things he could have said in response. But he didn't, he just slipped on the condom anyway. There was no way he was taking that chance. Not with her. They had a history of making babies. He wasn't going to tempt fate..._

_It was rough and dirty. Slick but not necessarily quick. He had one of her legs thrown up and over his shoulder, allowing him to deepen his movements. But the way he held her, the angle, he was practically folding her in half while she arched into it. She had left her nude heels on; they were both too impatient to bother with untieing them. But given the position, the shoe was digging into his shoulder blade with each thrust; the heel of it scraping against his skin, but he didn't even register the burn of it. He was too lost in the moment, in the feeling of his hips snapping against hers like a glow stick. The worried for a second that his grip on her hip would leave bruises along her perfect skin, but judging by her reaction, she didn't seem to care._

_It was cute that she thought she could meet him halfway. She tried her best. But he was moving too fast, his rhythm and speed unmatched. It was all a delicious grinding kind of torture that hurt so good in all the right obscene sounds they made, the slap of skin featuring wet noise filled the room. The entire scene jogged memories he had long blocked out of his mind._

_The few words that managed to slip past her lips were_ filthy _. She egged him on, pleading and begging him to do his worst. At first, she taunted him, telling him she remembered him being better. But once they got into the thick of it she was a blubbering mess, begging him. Telling him how good it felt. How much she missed him. They were such a toxic mess together._ _But it was an ego boost he didn't know he needed._

_And then the coil finally snapped, and he was cursing into her neck._

_His heart was still racing when he slipped out of her. A layer of sweat clung to his skin, her smell sunk deep into his pores, making him want to puke. He only allowed himself a few minutes to regain his composure. But once his legs no longer felt like jello he was up again, in desperate need of a shower. He needed to scrub off a layer of skin. (Everywhere they had touched.)_

_It wasn't her fault. It was his. He shouldn't have given in. But he had, so easy too. But to be fair, he was already at the edge of the cliff, she just pushed him over._

_Thankfully she didn't try to join him. Probably because she couldn't move. She was too blissed out, enjoying her afterglow. Three orgasms would do that. Her eyes were hooded and she was curled up with a satiated smile painted across her now bare lips. The silver lining was that he still seemed to know what he was doing, which was good to know. He felt terrible for using her that way, even though he was sure she was using him right back. Still, he threw a blanket over her naked body before slipping into the bathroom._

_In the shower, he felt the welts on his skin from where she dragged her long acrylic nails down his back. And the burn of where her heels rubbed against his shoulder blade and back. His lip was a little swollen, but in good shape considering the rest of him. He felt the familiar ache of a blossoming bruise where she sank her teeth into the top of his left shoulder. He felt it all when the water trailed down his body. And he knew he deserved it all and more._

_After feeling some resemblance of clean, he stepped out of the shower._

_"Der," she called softly, stepping into the bathroom. She had managed to get out of bed and wrapped her hotel issued robe around her body. Her hair was a mess, pulled high into a bun and she still had that glow to her. She must have gotten around to taking those shoes off, her small frame barely putting her at his chest. If he didn't hate her, he really could have loved her. She was beautiful underneath it all._

_"Hmm?" he asked, as he dried his body off. He didn't bother trying to cover up. What was there to hide? She had seen it all. Still, her eyes were laser focused below the belt. And, naturally, his body reacted to her attention. But he wouldn't fall for it. Not again. He let her eyes admire him in all his glory, he didn't care. She'd miss him when he was gone. (She already seemed to.)_

_She shook her head from the fog of lust and lifted her eyes to meet his. Her features shifted altogether. He couldn't read her. He had lost his touch._

_"Can I see her?" she finally asked. Her voice was shaky and unsure._

_Blood drained from his body in an instant. "What?" he asked, his voice sharp. He sounded offended. He practically growled, wrapping the damp towel around his hips, pushing past her into the bedroom. Suddenly he needed to cover up, to put his clothes back on and go._

_She trailed off after him like a puppy. Her bare feet padding along the plush carpet._

_"Derek, can I please see-" and then she stopped herself. Her jaw snapping shut. He could tell she wanted to say "_ my daughter. _" But she caught the death glare in his eyes and knew better._

_"Can I please see Skylar while I'm here?" she tried again, softer that time. Like she was prepared to beg._

_Is that why you had slept with him? To butter him up, get him nice and relaxed then go for the kill? He was going to be sick._

_"No," he growled pulling on his boxers._

_"Derek, please," she begged, standing directly in front of him._

_"Why?" he asked, eyeing her carefully as he slipped into his black skinny jeans. Because he had to know what made her think she could even ask that question._

_"What?" she asked, confused. Her eyebrows knitted together like she simply couldn't understand his question._

_"Why do you want to see her?" he asked, his voice sharp and rushed as he threw the shirt back onto his body._

_Monica scoffed, seeming offended. "Do I need a reason? I'm here, she's here. What's the harm?" she argued, crossing her arms over her chest. The soft and sweet had gone and left, triggered by his questions._

_Derek could think of a million reasons why not. But she was staring at him. And after what they had done together he didn't want to be brutal. Maybe she had buttered him up... He sighed, running a hand through his damp hair. Was he considering it? "I'll ask her," he finally said through gritted teeth. "But I make no promises," he added, making sure it was crystal clear._

_"Ok," she beamed, all traces of anger vanishing into thin air. "Thank you!"_

* * *

**That afternoon…**

Sky laid in bed, eyes glued to the ceiling, to the glow in the dark stars she stuck up there the day they moved in. Her hands were clasped together on her stomach and her mind swirled with possibilities. She was strong. She was brave. She was intelligent. And every part of her knew that she _shouldn't_ see her mom. That she shouldn't care that she was in town. That she should just forget about the whole thing. But she didn't. It was hard to be logical with all the emotions pumping through her veins.

There was a knock on her door. She turned and found Luca's stormy blue eyes peeking at her from the silver of open space. She groaned. She could not deal with him. Not today.

"Go away," she muttered, turning her attention back towards the ceiling. She just wanted to sulk in peace. Eventually, she'd make a detailed pro and cons list. But till then she just had to _feel_.

"I have to talk to you," he said in a tone she had never heard from him.

"What?" she asked, slightly concerned.

He stepped inside her room, closing the door behind himself. But not daring to take another step into her room. "I heard your moms in town," he started, carding his fingers through his hair. He needed a haircut, or he'd have to start tying it up.

Luca knowing meant the whole house knew. Her dad didn't know how to keep a thing from Casey, but she knew why that was. "Yeah," she breathed out, confirming the rumor.

Luca scratched the back of his neck. He looked _uncomfortable_. "Look, I don't know much about your mom, or what happened but I do know this... If I had the chance to see my dad again, I would take it in a heartbeat."

Sky was quiet for a second. She knew why he felt the need to say that. But their situations were completely different. "I know. But, your dad was a good man. He loved you," she explained. She wished it was the other way around. If only Luca could have one more day with his hero. "My mom didn't even _want_ me," she added, hoping that would explain things better.

Luca winced at her words like she had landed a blow on a weak spot. "She uh… she might want you now?" he offered weakly. "Look, I just don't want you to _wish_ you would have said yes. That's all," he shrugged. And with that, he left, closing the door behind him.

Luca was hardly ever what she'd consider _sweet_. But maybe he was on to something.

* * *

**Later that night…**

"Wait… I thought we hated Monica?" Ralph asked, trying to follow along with Derek's earlier adventures.

Derek had ended up at the bar with his boys after that whole thing with Casey. It had been a day and all he wanted to do was forget and be… away.

"We do," Sam supplied, answering for Derek.

Ralph and Sam felt the same way about Monica. They used to visit Derek in LA every couple of months when he lived out there. Even more so when Sky came along. They were just as protective of his daughter. Uncle Ralphy and Uncle Sammy were two of Sky's favorite people. (Mostly because they spoiled her when they came around. And Ralph played any game the little girl wanted.) But as she grew up, she pulled away from them too. But the boys didn't mind, they understood. Sky still felt like family to them. Even after Sam had his first kid many years later.

"So why did Derek sleep with her?" Ralph asked, still trying to put the puzzle pieces together after the bomb Derek had dropped on them.

"Because I'm an idiot," Derek reminded his best friends. "We never lacked chemistry, that's for sure," he murmured into his cold glass of beer.

"Was it… _good_?" Sam had to ask, with a stupid knowing grin on his face.

Derek rolled his eyes and pulled on the collar of his t-shirt exposing the purpling bruise on his shoulder from when she sank her teeth into him, the second time she came. "It sure as hell wasn't bad," he frowned. He wished it was. That would have been easier to deal with. "Hurt like hell though," he shrugged, his entire body feeling sore. Monica was a full body workout.

" _Shit_ ," Sam hissed, cringing. "You're a kinky bastard, Venturi," Sam added, shaking his head. Sam, ever the sweetheart, was just never the one for those kinds of scrapes and bruises. Derek just thought Sam hadn't tried it yet.

Ralph on the other hand groaned in response. "Dude, _no_! It was supposed to be Casey. You slept with the wrong ex!" Ralph groaned, seeming annoyed with Derek.

Derek chuckled. His best friends knew. He had to tell him. _Years_ after the fact but still. They both suspected for a long time, so it didn't matter. They knew.

"Ralph, Casey doesn't want me." he reminded his best friends. "I'll be fine guys. Don't worry."

* * *

**A few days later…**

Marti wasn't expecting to see her brother. He never just showed up announced. Plus, she was in the middle of making a romantic dinner for her boyfriend who she hadn't spent any time with because of their work schedules. But alas, there was Derek, crashing her dinner plans.

"Well hello to you too!" Marti replied, closing the front door Derek had shuffled through wordlessly. "What's wrong?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She stood over him, expecting some sort of explanation because there was something.

Derek looked pathetic, his long lanky frame taking up half her living room, even his limbs hanging off her tiny blue couch. "I fucked up," he groaned, throwing an arm over his face like he was avoiding her eyes.

"Clearly. What did you do this time?" she asked, unamused. She walked over to the kitchen to get him a drink since he needed it. (And she might need one too.)

"I'm moving out. Casey not talking to me. Oh, and I slept with Monica," he listed off on his fingers casually.

"You slept with _who_ now?" Marti asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing that she couldn't have heard him correctly. Monica was at the top of Derek's shit list for obvious reasons. She was pretty high up on Marti's list as well. She had always wanted to punch Monica with that perfect nose of hers... But Derek never let her, for Sky's sake.

"Yeah," Derek sighed, removing his arm from his face, only to accept the beer. " _Her,_ " he clarified, sitting up to take a pull of his cold beer.

"I thought you were done with that Der?" Marti asked, taking a seat on her coffee table in front of her brother with a pointed stare.

"Yeah, so did I," he replied dryly. "Casey's pissed," he added.

"Obviously," Marti groaned. Marti wanted to argue with her brother. She really did. She wanted to tell him he was an idiot. But she couldn't begin to understand the complex layers of Derek and Casey's relationship. No matter how many times she asked them both for detail, they never gave enough to understand. Did Derek tell Casey that he slept with Monica? Because that was bold and probably very unnecessary.

"And since when are you moving out?" Marti asked, focusing on that part of his admission.

"Since I almost kissed Casey," he admitted with a sheepish smile. And that wasn't surprising at all. But she did think the reason would be a little more rated R than PG. "Fix me," Derek asked weakly, like an absolute child. But she knew what he meant was 'feed me.'

Marti sighed, picking up her phone canceling date night with her boyfriend. She had a brother to take care of.

* * *

That night, Marti fed him. But she also grabbed his phone and changed a couple of things. "Out of all the women in the world you could sleep with..." she mumbled under her breath as she tapped away on his phone. She didn't tell him what she was doing. And he didn't ask. He was too busy stuffing his face with Marti's homemade dumplings.

By the end of the night, his phone was blowing up with notifications. Marti had revamped his dating apps. She changed his profile picture, adjusted his bio, and downloaded a few different apps for him to use. She even swiped on a few single ladies she approved of.

Derek looked up at her confused when he registered what she had done.

"Next time you have an itch- _that's_ how you scratch it," she explained, annoyed with him. "Or you know go to the bar and buy someone a drink. Whatever it is **NO MONICA!** Do you hear me?" she asked, eyeing him.

Derek nodded. His little sister could be scary sometimes.

But Marti wasn't done. "I mean there's always Cas-"

"Shut up!" he replied, cutting her off.

She flipped him off but continues to pack up leftovers for him to take home.

* * *

**The next day…**

The day had arrived. Derek was sick to his stomach. Nauseous without eating anything. Sky was going to have lunch with Monica. _Alone_.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Derek asked his daughter one last time when they pulled up to the restaurant where Monica was waiting for her.

"I'm sure," Sky smiled. But it was her nervous smile. She was freaking out but there was nothing he could do about it. She was even dressed up for the occasion. More so than she normally would. And he understood he wanted to look her best, for her mom. So that Monica could think she was pretty. But she was beautiful inside and out and if Monica needed to see their teenage daughter in makeup to believe it, she didn't deserve her.

"Are you sure you want to be _alone_ with her?" he asked, gnawing in his lower lip enough to taste blood.

Sky rolled her eyes. "She's not a monster dad. I'm not _scared_ of her," his daughter promised.

He wanted to ask a million questions but did not. "I'll be around, ok? I'm not going far. If you need anything I'll come get you. No questions asked."

"I know! Thank's dad," she smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Just… don't go too far, ok?" she asked before slipping out of his car.

If Casey were speaking to him… he would have ended up with his head in her lap so she could run her fingers through his hair. It always helped relax him when he was worried about grades or exams.

But that wasn't an option. He had tried apologizing to her about the stupid comment he had made, she hadn't to accept it. And he didn't think flowers could fix it this time. And, since he was bound to find an apartment and move out soon... It would only start a fresh batch of problems between them. So he was stuck regardless.

But not talking to her... it almost made him uncomfortable. Itchy almost. Like a junkie craving his next hit. But he took the hint and left her alone like she wanted him to.

So, instead of looking for Casey, Derek circled the block around the restaurant, finding a parking spot. Once parked, Derek picked up his phone opening up the familiar app. Marti had changed the game for him somehow.

There was one woman who had caught his interest out of the pack. A yoga instructor named Taylor. She was cute, short, and full of tattoos that Derek _desperately_ wanted to explore. They had exchanged a few messages on the app and he was tempted to give her his number. He wanted to take things slow, compared to his normal hookups. Mostly because he was trying to make a connection this time. Not just sex. It was time he started dating and creating emotional connections. Maybe that would help him get over Casey McDonald. Real feelings...

* * *

"You ok?" were the first words out of Derek's mouth when Sky was back in the safety of his car.

She looked fine. But still, he felt the need to ask.

Sky smiled, but she looked tired. "I'm fine dad. Really," she promised, pulling on her seat belt.

"How was it?" he asked, not making a move to drive off just yet.

Sky shrugged. "It was fine. Nothing special. She's cool. But..." she trailed off frowning.

"But?"

Sky scrunched up her nose like she was scared to say it. But eventually, under Derek's eyes, she did. "She's not my mom. Not _really_ , anyway."

Derek frowned, he reached over the center console and pulled his daughter into his arms. "I know."

* * *

**The following week…**

The following week was a blur. Derek was more determined than ever to find a place, fast. Things at home were a mess. He had to find them a new home, and he'd pay whatever it was for it. After getting several places, he landed on one he liked. It was a new apartment complex. Fully stocked with a gym and indoor pool. The apartment itself was spacious and modern. Perfect for the two of them. It was a lot like their last place in LA, which was a selling point. Once he decided he liked that one best, it was time for the hard part... Getting Sky's stamp of approval.

Sky toured the apartment like an inspector looking for flaws. Derek watched her roam free, nodding along to herself, marking things off her checklist (because of course, she had a checklist!) By the end of the tour she was pleased with the result. She smiled at her father and gave him the go ahead.

Derek let out a sigh of relief. He was beyond happy to hear it.

"So, what now?" Sky asked hopping onto the marble kitchen counter that got bonus points on her list. Her legs swinging beneath her. Her eyes still dancing around the blank walls, soaking it all in.

Derek leaned his back against the counter next to her crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, I'll put in an offer today and we cross our fingers. And, if they accept… I'll figure out how to tell Casey." He was going to offer well above the asking price, knowing that it would seal the deal quicker. Since his daughter approved, he wanted to get it all done as fast as possible with no fuss. He knew they were going to get it.

Sky frowned. "She's not going to be happy about it," she murmured, speaking of Casey.

"No, she's not," he echoed. But maybe that was what was best? Piss Casey off, even more, push her away. Sever their ties, once and for all. He hoped it didn't ruin the relationship between Sky and Casey...He would hate to come in the way of that. "Come on, let's get you home. I have plans tonight."

Sky eyed her father curiously before hopping off the counter. "What kind of plans?" Sky teased, falling into step with him.

"The kind that involves me taking a shower and dressing up," he smirked down at his kid, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

"Are you going on a date?" she mock gasped.

"Now wouldn't that be the worst thing," he replied with a wink as they waited for the elevator.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she replied, sounding entirely too serious.

" _Right_ ," he deadpanned. His daughter was too much.

* * *

The next morning...

"Hey," Derek started, awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets. It had been too long since he had spoken to Casey. Mostly because she walked out of the room when he walked in. But she hadn't left the kitchen when he walked in that morning, so progress. Maybe she was starting to get over it...

But, she didn't respond. He didn't expect her to. She's been giving him the silent treatment after all.

Derek ran a hand through his hair. He had not been looking forward to that conversation. But it had to happen. He had to tell her. He couldn't just disappear in the middle of the night. "Look I know that you're still mad about the whole Monica thing. And what I said… You have every right to be. I was being defensive. I felt like shit. And I snapped at you. That's not an excuse. I fucked up and I'm sorry." He knew he owed her an apology first and foremost. But he also knew she wouldn't accept it. Especially with what about going to come after...

He waited for a beat, Hoping she'd chime in. Call him an asshole. _Something_. But she just moved around the kitchen tidying up as if she were alone.

"But, I have to tell you something…" he trailed off, cringing. "And you're not going to like it," he prefaced the news.

Slowly Casey turned towards him. For the first time in over a week, she looked at him. Her eyes locked on his. She said nothing, but she didn't have to. The look in those blue eyes was positively _haunting_.

_Now or never,_ he told himself, trying not to let her eyes change his mind. He had to rip it off like a bandaid. He had never had to tell Casey he was leaving. Not when they were off to university since they both ended up at Queens. Not when he left for Florida because they weren't on talking terms. And not when he left her in the middle of her wedding to catch a flight to LA because he was a coward. But standing in her kitchen, under the scrutiny of those eyes... he was going to tell her. "I found an apartment," he finally blurted out the truth.

He swore he heard a wince escape her body. She turned away from him again and that time he knew he was the reason for her tears that were sure to come.

He went on to explain himself, as quickly as he could. He couldn't just leave it at that. "It's not far from here…Sky gave me the go okay to put the offer in. She'll still be in the same school. We'll be moving out in the next few weeks. Before school starts up again," he rushed to add. "I haven't even told her they accepted my offer yet. I wanted you to be the first to know. I know this isn't what you want to hear. I know you wanted me, no, us to stay a bit longer. But I need you to understand that I'm not trying to hurt you. I just need to get my shit together. And being here with you, it makes that impossible." He took a deep breath, He was opening his entire heart to her. "Look, I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. And the way that I feel about you will always be a weakness. It will always get me hurt." She was like his bum knee. A part of him that would ever truly heal. He hoped that she could read between the lines, understand where he was coming from. He didn't know who was home or how direct he should be. "You asking me to move in with you last summer was life changing. And im-"

"Just tell me when," she cut him off. Her voice was sharp and bitter. "I don't want to be here when you go," she added, before walking out the kitchen, tears already spilling down her cheeks.

Derek groaned. She didn't even let him finish. And she was crying. Because of him this time. He had hurt her. And although he wanted to follow her, to pull her into his arms, he couldn't keep doing that. It just wasn't healthy. Not for him. Not anymore. So instead of following her, he headed straight to the garage, pulled on his helmet and drove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of thoughts...  
> Is Derek a leg guy? Painted toes, high heels? I mean...maybe?! (Obviously he's everything!Casey guy, but you still.)  
> How much do you hate me for bringing Monica into this? But...Derek needed some TLC... right? And like, I know we hate Monica… but that scene of them together, hate!sex, that was really fun to write. Plus… we needed some cocky!Derek. Boy was getting too soft and sad.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one summer that changed everything.

Derek surprised Sky with the news of the apartment... And then he also surprised her with a trip to LA. A double whammy to _hopefully_ soften the blow. They would only be gone for a week, but it was summer, and things at home were still _tense_. It just wasn't fair to his daughter. So, after getting the news about the apartment, they started and _finished_ packing. They didn't have very many possessions in Casey's house. Most of their big items, like Derek's _precious_ recliner, or Sky's massive work desk, were still in storage. So, once they were packed, a getaway was much needed for the both of them.

As much as he hated LAX and traffic, it was nice to be back. Feeling the warm California sun on his skin felt completely different than in Ontario. He had spent the last 15 years of his life calling California home, and it _literally_ was Sky's home. It was just as much a part of him as Canada was. Sky had already made plans with all of her Cali friends and had a week full of activities. Like, going to the Griffith Observatory and looking up at the stars with her friends. Derek was pretty sure it was her favorite place on the entire west coast.

Derek had his own LA adventures planned. One morning he suited up and tried to catch some waves...and failed miserably. Another day he hiked Runyon Canyon. It was his favorite hike, and he desperately wanted to know if his knee could still do it. He was a little out of shape, it took him longer than normal, but he did it, and the view was worth it. He enjoyed the time alone, the clarity of the greenery, and nature that surrounded him.

Being away let him escape the noise, the opinions that often cluttered his mind. He knew that he had made the right decision moving out. His heart needed the space, whether Casey liked it or not. It was time he focused on himself. His feelings for her were bubbling up to the surface, practically overflowing. He didn't have much control over them which was a major red flag. And after the party that the kids had thrown… yeah. He needed his own space. A roof where he was allowed to make the rules for and wasn't worried about overstepping boundaries.

Derek wiped the sweat off his brow and stared out at the view. The Hollywood sign in the distance, past the LA smog. He chuckled to himself thinking that life had taken the strangest trajectory...

* * *

One afternoon in LA, Sky's schedule allowed for some family bonding with some old friends.

"It's nice to have you back Der-Bear," Kendra grinned, passing Derek a small glass of amber liquid.

Derek rolled his eyes at the childhood nickname she would never let go of, but accepted the drink anyway. His eyes turned away from Kendra to the sunset in front of them. Kendra had married a Hollywood agent who made entirely too much money. They lived in a mansion in the Hollywood hills. The backyard was massive, with a pool that Sky and Max (Kendra's son) thoroughly enjoyed that afternoon.

After hours of swimming both kids relaxed, lounging on oversized floaties. Sky laid on a watermelon slice, no doubt looking for constellations that were too far for the naked eye to see. Max laid on top of a bright yellow pineapple floatie. The two drifted lazily in the water, pool floaties bouncing off the pool walls gently keeping them in motion. Derek watched the kids as they silently laid there, soaking up the final rays of sun while the cotton candy sunset glittered across the horizon. He couldn't help but take a picture, posting it online. It felt so peaceful and quiet, which was ironic for LA.

"It's good to be back," he finally admitted, turning back to look at Kendra. "So," he cleared his throat. "Be honest, how much did you miss me?" he asked, with a sinister smile.

It was Kendra's turn to roll her eyes from under her oversized sunglasses. Slowly she took a sip of her cocktail, savoring it on her tongue before answering. "Not even a little bit," she replied, teasing him. She was a dirty liar. When he was in California they met up every few weeks. It also helped that their kids were friends. Max was a few years younger than Sky and he had a pretty obvious crush on the girl. Derek thought it was adorable. Sky on the other hand denied it even existed.

"So, spill. What's going on at home? How is our favorite space Case? Did Derry lick her wounds?" Kendra asked with a wink. Always vulgar, that one.

Derek groaned, closing his eyes. It seemed like everyone knew about them, didn't they? They never did a good job of hiding their true feelings... except maybe from each other. Kendra wasn't the president of the Casey fan club; that much had always been clear throughout the year. But she knew Derek had gone home to _live_ with her after Mike's death. So she must have filled in the blanks as to why.

Derek opened his eyes again, gaze locked onto the pretty pink and orange sky above. "I came to LA for a break Ken," he admitted. His voice was low and soft, letting her know he didn't want to talk about Casey.

To this, Kendra stiffened, noticing the change in his demeanor. She moved her sunglasses to the top of her head, studying him carefully. After knowing each other for so many years, Kendra had a pretty good read on him. "What happened Derek? Why are you back?" she asked, using his full name to show how serious she was being.

Derek didn't want to go down that road. Vacation and all. So, he just shook his head, pulling a lazy smirk in her direction. He was going to mess with her, because that's what he was good at, and it had been so long after all. He put on his most loving, gentle voice. His eyes turned tender. "I missed you, Ken," he admitted, reaching over to cover her hand with his, squeezing it. "I came back cause I couldn't go another day without you. Take me back, run away with me," he teased dramatically, barely resisting a snicker. Kendra's husband wasn't around, he never really was…

Kendra scrunched her nose in disgust, pulling her hands away as if he had burned her. She did not appreciate his poor excuse for romance. "Honey, you can't afford me," she scoffed. And then, in a more serious tone, she added, "I hope your little speech to Casey was a tad bit better than that!"

"I'm offended!" Derek huffed.

* * *

Derek and Sky left... They actually _left_. Well, to LA at least. But in a few days, they would be back only to move the brown cardboard boxes they had already packed out of Casey's house.

Casey couldn't help but feel... abandoned? She knew that there was a reason, a logical explanation. But she didn't want to think about the why's at the moment. She was in the thick of her sadness while Derek lived his best life in California, and a part of her hated him for it.

She caught all his updates, he was really active on this trip, documenting _everything_. He posted clips of the waves crashing against the shore at the beach. He posted a picture of himself, wetsuit hanging off his hip; his torso glistening in the sunshine. His tongue out and a blue surfboard in one arm. She had always wanted to see him surf, but that he didn't post. Every day she saw different pictures. Like him, hiking, surrounded by nature. Or poolside with _Kendra_. That last one annoyed her the very most.

Seeing all the pictures made her heartache. So much so that it drove Casey to venture down into the basement one morning. It hurt to see but she knew she had to see it for herself. He had everything packed up. Six brown boxes stacked up in two neat rows against the far wall. In his room, the bed was neatly made. The only part of him left was his scent that lingered, deeply woven within the sheets. She couldn't help but hug his pillow to her chest and inhale, letting the woodsy scent wash over her. For just a second she allowed herself to miss him.

But when she heard Luca rummaging through the kitchen upstairs looking for food, she turned off the light and closed the door, putting herself back together again.

With all the moving pieces, Casey felt the need to find _some_ resemblance of control in her life. So, after doing some thinking and reading some self-help books, she enforced a couple of new house rules. One being family dinner. It didn't matter if they were only a family of two. Luca was expected to show up at dinner time and eat with his mother. No phone and zero complaints. And to her surprise, he was actually doing so.

Although the days without Derek and Sky had been hard, spending uninterrupted time with Luca made up for it. Granted he was still technically grounded, but still, she appreciated it.

Luca took out the garbage, watered and mowed the grass, even in the hot summer heat. He cleaned his room, did all his laundry. He didn't beg to be allowed to play video games. He even went grocery shopping with Casey, since it was the only time he was allowed out the house. But still, considering the way he had been acting a year ago, Casey was shocked.

"I spoke to your grandmother today…" Casey started, watching her son over the rice and chicken leftover they were having. (Casey was still adjusting to cooking for two and not four.)

"You did?" Luca's eyes lit up with the possibility of what that could mean.

After the party, Casey also stripped away his summer trip to his grandparent's house. He loved spending time with his dad's family, it helped him feel connected to his father. And although Casey agreed and knew it was good for him, she was still mad at him for the party incident. But it was summer, and he had been punished for practically half of it. Although he had taken it all in stride, she didn't want him to hold any resentment towards her for not being able to go. They were his family after all.

Casey nodded. "You can go spend two weeks with them before school starts up again. I've gotta admit You've been amazing lately. With your punishment and everything going on around here. So yeah, you can go." Two whole weeks with his cousins and his grandparents. Heaven to him.

Casey knew her son needed that time away. But she also knew that _she_ needed that time alone. It would give her a chance to work on herself. She had a plan to declutter the house. 'Does it bring me joy?' kind of thing. She knew that meant that she would be alone for the first time in forever. Truly alone. But she knew that it was important she try.

"Thanks, mom," Luca smiled, and he sounded genuinely excited by the news. Luca eyed something past Casey, in the kitchen behind her. "Hey… Are those flowers from Derek?" Luca asked, carefully.

She hesitated, turning to look at the flowers sitting on the counter as if she had no idea what he was talking about. But yes, Derek had sent her a bouquet of white lilies with eucalyptus sprigs. They arrived the day he left for LA. It was like he was trying to get back into her good graces. They were beautiful; flowers from Derek always were. He even included a note.

**I really am sorry, Princess. For everything.  
Now yell at me like I know you want to.  
I'm sick of the silent treatment.**

She wasn't sure if she should tell Luca the truth. Could he handle it? Derek's parenting advice would say _yes, just be honest_ _._ And maybe it was time she started to take a leaf out of Derek's book. So, she told him. "Yeah, they are actually," she admitted, trying her best not to flush under her son's intense stare.

Luca was quiet for a second, his fork casually moving around grains of rice on his plate. It was like he was choosing his words very carefully. "Are you still mad at him, for leaving?" he asked, looking up at her. He looked serious, more of a man and less of a boy. He was about to turn 16... Casey had even started giving him a couple of driving lessons in their time together.

Casey shrugged, not really expecting the question. "I'm not mad. Im just... _sad_ ," she admitted to her son and to herself. She wasn't mad at Derek for sleeping with his ex. Hell, she wanted to sleep with her ex as well. She wasn't hurt that he implied building a home with Monica. Because she understood it. She wasn't even mad he moved out. Because he said it was what he needed. She was just sad. Because she missed him. Again. And she didn't know how to be... whatever they were. Casual friends?

Luca nodded, accepting the answer. "Mom, he couldn't stay here forever. He needs to make his own life here in Canada."

When did her son become the voice of reason? Granted, he didn't know the details between Casey and Derek and why it hurt so much. But still. He wasn't wrong.

"I know," she nodded. Because she did know. She just missed him. But she couldn't tell Luca that, could she?

"Derek was the hockey player you were in love with," Luca decided. He sounded so sure of himself, too.

Casey's eyes shot up. Unsure of what to say. Should she deny it? She had to give him credit. He was smarter than how he looked. More attentive then he seemed. But still, she had no idea how to respond to that. It was big. Too big. She wasn't ready for that kind of admission.

Luca went on, filling the silence she left between them. "I guess a part of me always knew. I just… I felt like if I accepted it, I was betraying dad, you know?" he asked, a frown pulling on the corner of his lips.

"I… " Casey stammered, grasping for words she couldn't seem to find. She did know. But she didn't know how to say it. Not to her son. Not with everything that it meant.

Luca went on. "Is that why Derek was hardly around? Cause him and Dad didn't get along?" The boy sounded utterly heartbroken by the idea of it.

Casey cleared her throat. Finally finding an answer. "No, I... I think they just came to a truce. Your dad, he knew that Derek was important to me," Casey replied, hoping that bit of knowledge would prevent any resentment Luca may have towards Derek. That was the last thing she wanted.

Luca nodded. "I knew it too. After he moved in, I mean. He took care of you, mom. The same way dad did."

Casey could see the pieces falling into place in her son's mind. She didn't mean to drop all the information on him. But she had hardly said a thing. Luca already knew, he was just confirming his suspensions.

"Whatever it is that's going on between you...just let it go. You lost dad. Don't lose Derek too," Luca suggested softly with a half shrug.

Casey couldn't help but smile at her son, a hand reaching out across the table to squeeze his. "You're amazing, you know that?" she asked, genuinely thinking it.

She didn't want to lose Derek. But she'd have to figure out whatever this new dynamic would entail.

Luca shrugged like it was no big deal. "I've been told once or twice," he replied with a cocky grin.

* * *

"So, are you like... _mad_ at Casey?" Sky asked her father during dinner. It was there last day in LA and they were eating at their _favorite_ vegan place. (And they weren't even vegans- the LA lifestyle was strong.)

Derek wasn't expecting Casey's name to come up. But he should have. Sky was _obsessed_ , that little detective of his. "What? No," he answered over their shared appetizer.

"Dad, I have an IQ of 132 and you know it," she countered with an even stare.

"I know, sweetie. You won't let me forget it," he rebutted, locking eyes with her. But to be fair, if he had an IQ that high he'd be bragging about it too.

"Exactly! So you _know_ I'm brilliant. And I've noticed that things have been really weird ever since mom came to town," she pointed out.

Derek sighed, giving in easily. He put his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together in defeat. "I'm not mad at Casey, ok? But... I _may_ have said something stupid the other day. So, Casey's mad at _me_. And before you give me the third degree, just know that I apologized before we left, and I sent her flowers. Ok?"

Sky let the news marinate in her mind for a second. "Mhmm," she hummed. "Doesn't help that we're moving, does it?" she finally replied, with a knowing stare.

"No, probably not," Derek sighed. His daughter was relentless.

"She wants us to stay."

"I know."

"Why can't we stay again? Because you need 'space?'" Sky asked in air quotes, clearly condescending his reasoning. "You're gonna miss her, dad. You already did just this week. Just admit it."

Derek shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He didn't want to talk about Casey, how could he make that any more obvious to the world around him? He just stared at his daughter, blinking back his frustration.

"Fine, don't admit it. But, hypothetically, if it weren't for the whole Grandma and Grandpa thing...You and Casey," Sky wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Nora and George, Grandma, and Grandpa. (Abby, Derek's mom was Grandma Abby to Sky.) If it weren't for them, chances were there would be no Derek and Casey to even consider.

" _Skylar_ ," Derek warned using her full name. He was already feeling defeated. His daughter didn't need to get confused in the saga of Derek and Casey. She didn't need to get her hopes up that her dad was _blissfully in love_. Cause he wasn't. There was zero _bliss_ to it. He was _painfully_ in love, and he hated it.

"Dad. Come on. _Hypothetically_!" she pressed on, and he knew there was no winning. She was just as stubborn as he was.

" _Hypothetically_ ," he replied in the same tone she had used, letting the idea bounce around his brain, looking for the perfect answer that would satisfy his daughter's craving. "...Luca would hang me by the balls. And you know it," he finally answered her, being as blunt as possible. He wanted to paint a very vivid picture that would shut Sky up.

Sky's jaw dropped. She was on the verge of exploding, when the waiter came with their main course, silencing her.

So much for a Casey free vacation.

* * *

It was August when Derek and Sky returned to Canada. And Luca was officially off punishment.

Things with Casey were still rocky. She had barely spoken to him since the whole Monica thing. The news about the move only made matters worse, but he knew it would. Thankfully he was able to sign all the paperwork and move two weeks after dropping the news. And with them in LA, the time they spent around each other was minimal. But he knew how to deal with an upset Casey. He had over twenty years of experience under his belt. She'd get over it eventually. She'd understand his reasoning. After she allowed herself to feel all the emotions, she'd come around again.

She did text him while they were away, which was good. Progress. She thanked him for the flowers and told him they were beautiful. It felt like maybe she was starting to get back to their new normal.

Besides things with Casey being up in the air, Derek was giddy, excited to move out. He'd miss her, _obviously_. But he couldn't wait to lounge out in his boxers and not feel like he was intruding on their turf. Plus, he needed a place where he wasn't surrounded by Mike's memory. He never said anything, but he felt Mike, or well, the ghost of Mike, watching his every move. (Or maybe it was just Luca who popped out of every corner to ask hard questions…)

It wasn't that he wanted to cut Casey out of his life or stop accidentally co-parenting with her. It's just that it was becoming harder and harder to pretend like that pull wasn't there. Cause it was. Plus, the kids were doing good, even with the party situation. Luca had pulled his grades up. And the tension between Luca and Casey had calmed down drastically. Derek and Sky were better than ever.

It was just time for Derek and Sky to find their new normal together.

By the time they got back from LA they were ready to move. And true to her word, Casey was not around to see it. She was at some Spa retreat with the girls. Casey had invited Sky along, in hopes to get her out of moving duty, but Sky, ever the control freak that she was, politely declined. She wanted to supervise the move and make sure everything ran smoothly.

Derek wasn't sure what the big deal was. He respected Casey's wishes of not wanting to _see_ them move but...There really wasn't much to see. It was just a few cardboard boxes full of clothes that they easily managed to pack into Derek's SUV. The bigger part of the move was getting their stuff out of storage. Derek considered hiring movers, but the boys, Sam, Ralph, George, and Ed said they would get it done together. Even Luca decided to join them. With all that muscle they finished moving on the very same day.

The apartment reminded him of their old place in LA. The only difference was swapping the view of LA for the view of Toronto. It was a modern highrise, high-tech with massive floor to ceiling windows in the main living space. It had two bedrooms. It was all he and Sky needed. He didn't bother with a guest room. There was no need. Who would even need to crash at his house out of all places anyway?

* * *

The house was empty. No Derek. No Sky. They were in their new home. Not even Luca sprawled out in the living room, yelling at the TV while he played video games. He was away with his dad's family for two whole weeks. The silence was so loud that Casey briefly considered adopting a puppy. At least then the house would be full of the sweet pitter-patter of paws against the hardwood floor. But she knew that was a crazy idea. She had to handle the silence on her own...After dinner.

"So, he's really gone?" Emily asked over dinner.

They were eating at a Korean bbq spot Emily loved. Casey had not gone out to eat in a long while. First because of the whole Mike thing. And then because of the whole Derek thing. But as she struggled to find her new normal, she thought that weekly dinners out were something she needed to incorporate into her new life.

Casey nodded. "Luca's at his grandparent's house for two weeks. And Derek and Sky are officially moved out," she breathed out, reaching for her drink.

"How are you doing with that?" Emily asked before taking a bite of her meal.

"I miss them. A lot. All of them," Casey admitted.

She missed binge-watching a family show together. And cuddling on the couch with layers of blankets and the fire burning. She missed braiding Sky's hair and hearing about her crushes. She missed the quiet mornings before the kids woke up when she'd make Derek a cup of coffee. She missed the way early morning sun came through the window, lighting up his golden-brown eyes, and watching as he hummed into his mug delighted. She even missed Luca making snide remarks that made Derek squirm in his seat. She missed the odd little family unit they created over the last year.

"Have you spoken to him? Derek, I mean."

"Here and there. We're still in this adjustment period." She wasn't entirely happy with the weird limbo they were in, but it was better than full-on fighting or the silent treatment. She wasn't fond of that one either.

"Remind me again why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Emily asked, with an all-knowing smile. Emily had never been _so_ direct when she asked about Derek, but it seemed like she reached the end of her line.

Casey wanted to argue that she didn't _feel_ anything. But she was tired of lying. She felt...defeated. She let out a heavy sigh, eyes staring at her hands on the table. "Before he moved out, he said I was his weakness," Casey admitted, slowly looking up to find Emily's gaze. "He said I was the thing that will always get him hurt... He doesn't want this, Em," Casey motioned to herself. "I come with a lot of baggage. And he's the last person I want to hurt."

"Casey, the boy all but confessed his love to you," Emily argued. And who would have thought that Emily Davis was arguing in favor of Casey and Derek? Emily who had spent her childhood pinning over the bad boy next door...She was ever the romantic that one.

Casey just frowned. "Maybe. But he _left_ , Em. And I'm finally coming around to understanding why. I need to sort my life out alone. And he does too," Casey shrugged.

Emily shook her head, not understanding the logic, but accepting her best friend's explanation. "One day, you two are going to get it right," Emily sighed.

"Maybe one day," Casey smiled, hopeful.

* * *

Summer was quickly fading, the promise of fall and school approaching.

Derek was deep into a Star Wars rewatch when he heard a knock at the front door. He paused the movie, curiously eyeing the door as if he could see through it. He wasn't expecting company. Regardless, he got up out of his recliner, only to open the door and find his favorite Luca standing in the hallway with a half-smile. It had only been 3 weeks since he last saw him but the kid, but he looked so much older. Taller for sure. And, most importantly, he finally got a haircut! Truly a new man.

"Hey kid!" Derek smiled, happy to see the boy. He couldn't help but pull the boy into a one armed hug.

"Hey," Luca greeted Derek, returning the quick embrace for just a second before pulling away, taking a step inside.

"What are you doing here?" Derek asked, closing the door behind him.

Luca's face screwed up in confusion. "I'm here to pick up Sky," he replied, sounding almost doubtful.

"What?" Derek asked, equally as confused.

"I'm ready!" Sky called from her room, running towards the front door with a duffel bag thrown over her shoulder. "Bye dad!" she chirped, kissing his cheek. "See you tomorrow!"

"Wait- where are you going?" Derek asked, concerned, and suspicious. Those two together...willingly? What were they up to?

Both kids looked at him like he was an idiot. "To Casey's? For the weekend. Remember, I told you!" Sky explained to her father.

Derek groaned. She _had_ told him... he just didn't believe her. Because in what universe did he live in where Sky would _willingly_ sit through the Twilight saga ("the classics") with Casey? He thought she was joking when she mentioned it. But it would appear that he wasn't the only one having a movie marathon.

" _Right_ ," he replied, running a hand through his unruly hair. "And Luca's picking you up because...?" he asked, still not quite understanding _that_ correlation.

Luca's smile lit up the entire room like he was all but waiting for the question to come up. He flashed the car keys in his hand towards Derek. "Haven't you heard? I'm driving now!"

Derek felt like he got punched in the gut because no, he hadn't heard. Luca's birthday had just passed, the family was going to celebrate the following weekend, so the news wasn't _so_ shocking… But Derek just assumed that he would have maybe gotten a fyi at least! A note in the family group chat maybe?

"You got your licenses?" he asked, dumbfounded. He knew the answer but his mind couldn't wrap around it. He knew moving out meant he would miss some things, but Luca got his license and Derek didn't even get the memo? That fucking hurt.

What else had he missed?

"Yup, first try too! Mom really is good. You were right." Luca beamed proudly, of himself and his mother's abilities. "Now come on, Venturi," Luca motioned towards the door.

It took Derek half a second to realize Luca wasn't talking to him, but his daughter. The other Venturi.

"Mom said I could borrow the car as long as I drop you off first. And I've got a date," Luca told his younger cousin as they shuffled out the apartment.

"Yeah, yeah," Sky murmured following along, but not without rolling her eyes. "Bye dad!" she called back one last time.

"Bye kiddo," Derek replied softly, watching them leave.

And for the first time since everything happened Derek was truly alone.

* * *

The girls were curled up in the den watching Twilight. Casey ordered entirely too much sushi that was spread out on the coffee table in front of them like the fanciest of buffets. She even made double fudge brownies for dessert, knowing that Sky would take some home to Derek, and Luca would sneak some of them before bed. Besides all the food, Casey took down all personal touches from the den. No pictures of Mike. No diplomas hanging on the wall. Simple and minimalistic, just like her new lifestyle. Clutter free.

Casey couldn't help but grin, seeing Sky curled up in a pink fuzzy blanket next to her sprawled out on the couch in her pj's. _Adorable_. She had missed the girl dearly and was doing everything she could to stop herself from snuggling her to death.

"Want to hear something sweet that your dad will never _ever_ admit to?" Casey asked Sky after the credits of Twilight started to roll.

"Always!" Sky replied with a wicked smile. She sat up, crossing her legs underneath her, eager to hear every detail.

"So, I read Twilight in high school, obviously. And your dad made fun of me for reading it, as expected," Casey rolled her eyes remembering. "Hardcore teasing for a week straight, you know how he is."

Sky nodded. "I'm not surprised. Sounds exactly like something he'd do. He didn't believe I was coming over to watch it with you."

Casey shook her head, not surprised. "Well, one night, he popped his head into my room, itching for a fight. It was written all over his face. Cause he thought I'd still be reading it, but I had already finished it, and the library did not have any copies of the sequel left. He was _so_ disappointed, he left my room right away. And then, the next day... he went to the bookstore and brought it for me."

"He did not!" Sky nearly squealed with excitement jumping in her seat like she just got the golden ticket. "Are you serious?"

"He did. He left it on my bed, no note or anything. But I knew it was him, because who else in the house would do it? He wanted to keep the joke going for as long as possible. And that night, like clockwork, he popped his head into my room to tease me. And I let him," Casey finished with a soft smile. It may have been nothing to him, but it meant everything to her at the time.

"That's amazing," Sky cooed, settling back down, clutching a pillow to her chest like she had just heard the most romantic story. "Way to keep the commit to the joke, dad," she mumbled to herself.

Casey shook her head at the sweet memory, only to be reminded of a sour one. "Hey, I never got to ask, with everything that's been going on. But... Do you need to talk about what happened with your mom? Are you ok?" Casey trod lightly on the topic, knowing it was a sensitive one for all parties involved.

Sky sighed heavily. "I...I'm ok," she decided. "There's nothing to talk about. It was pretty much what I expected. She's beautiful and nice enough. But she's not my mom. Not really. Maybe when I'm older we'll find something to bond over. But not right now."

Casey nodded, understanding. She wasn't going to push it either.

"Do _you_ need to talk about my mom?" Sky asked, with a pointed glare aimed at Casey.

Casey coughed, uncomfortable with the question. She didn't see it coming. But clearly Sky caught on to more than what Casey gave her credit for. Those teenagers kept surprising her. "What? No. I'm ok," Casey swore.

Sky shook her head, not buying it for a second. "You were worried they were going to get back together, weren't you? Is that why you were mad at dad?" she asked with a sneaky little smile.

"What? No!" Casey replied a bit too quickly. "But...I mean, don't _you_ want your parents together?" Casey countered, hoping to turn the tables.

"No way. She's no good for dad."

"Oh yeah, so who's good enough for dear old dad?"

" _You_ ," Sky countered, shamelessly.

"I…We...ugh," Casey trailed off, hiding her burning face in her hands. "You're something else, you know that?" Casey groaned, peeling her hands from her face only to be greeted by the sight of a smirking Sky. That stupid Venturi smirk. It simply was not fair. "Every once in a while I forget, but you always remind me that you really are a Venturi. Clearly you've been spending too much time with your dad," Casey rebutted, ignoring the comment altogether. Pivoting, _hard_.

"Yeah, well whose fault is that?!" Sky argued, crossing her arms over her chest. "You two really need to sort out this joint custody thing," Sky teased, pointing a chopstick at Casey.

"Yeah, I'll have to talk to him about that," Casey muttered, pressing play on the next movie to get off the topic altogether.

* * *

Derek had not seen Casey since moving out, so nearly a month. He had barely spoken to her, which just felt wrong. But it was Luca's 16th birthday, and the boy was being forced to cut a cake with the family at the very least. (He wasn't allowed a teenage house party...for obvious reasons.)

Walking into Casey's house for the first time since they moved out felt different. Not only because it was a full house, decorated for Luca's birthday with food platters everywhere. But because he noticed all the little things that had changed since the last time he was there. The pillows on the couch were different. Not like the ones he grew fond of when he slept on that glorious cloud of a couch. The bookcase, normally overflowing with books, was emptier, cleaner. Like she went in and removed the overflow. The walls were bare too. The wedding pictures of her and Mike no longer hung above the fireplace. He wondered what he might find if he made his way downstairs… Was his 'room' different too? Did his scent linger in the fabric? Or did Casey burn some sage and clear him out of her life completely?

Shaking his head free of the thoughts Derek followed his daughter through the house and into the backyard. It was a madhouse. Any Venturi-McDonald affair always was. Plus Mike's family drove up for the occasion as well. There was a slight chill in the September air, the promise of the fall on the horizon. Or maybe it was just because he was finally laying eyes on Casey again...

He sucked in a breath, because she was still, as always, _breathtaking_. And the time without her made him a lot less immune to her charm and allure. _Act normal,_ he told himself, believing it to her at the buffet table. But what was normal for them? He wasn't quite sure.

And that's when he noticed yet another changed. "You going through a breakup, McDonald?" Derek asked, hip checking Casey as he grabbed a drink from the cooler under the table by her feet.

"What?" she asked, clearly confused. Those were probably not the words she was expecting from him. She was busy meticulously laying out forks and spoons before he interrupted her process.

"You changed your hair," he explained, pinching the lighter honey brown locks between his fingers as if he were inspecting them. He knew, based on movies and TV, that a post break up woman often changed her hair. And if that was anything to go on, Casey was going through a breakup. Was him leaving considered a breakup? Or was it a delayed act related to Mike? It was always hard to tell. The line between the men in her life always was a bit blurry.

Casey just stared at him for a second. Her hands frozen, halfway to the forks she was setting out. "You...noticed?" she asked cautiously, finally putting the forks down, turning completely towards him and away from the table. She looked astonished by his attention to detail.

"Of course I did," he scoffed, trying this best not to sound offended. He allowed his eyes to graze over her just once. She looked _radiant_ in a yellow sundress. "You look good, Case. Happy," he added, softly. The words meant for her ears only.

She was quiet for a second, fixing her hair and her dress like it was out of place. (It wasn't. She was perfect.) "I sure hope so. I started therapy," she finally admitted, looking back up at him.

Derek was impressed. "Shit, Case. That's… that's good! I think. Right?" he asked cautiously.

He was well aware of his family eyeing them. And he knew he had to go make some rounds. Hug all of the kiddies who were busy screaming around the back yard, begging their big cousin Luca for piggyback rides. But he simply couldn't rip himself away from her. Not yet. It had been too long. He needed another minute in her presence. To soak in her sweet scent and let it wash over him like the perfect wave. He felt like a junkie getting a new hit. Even though it was quite the drug he wanted (her mouth on his, with fewer clothes on,) but it was something.

Casey nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, it's good. It's about time," she sighed. "I mean, it's been nearly two years… It's time I get myself together. I'm currently on step 2 of the plan," she smiled, sounding proud of herself.

It had been nearly 2 years, Mike's death anniversary coming up in a few days. "The plan?" he had to ask. But of course, she had a plan, he wasn't surprised to hear it.

"Casey McDonald Conquers The World: Take 2," she explained lifting 2 fingers.

A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. She was ridiculously adorable and it was entirely unfair of the universe to curse him in such a way.

"What?" she asked, sounding annoyed with him. "What's with the face?" she asked, pointing at him.

"Nothing," he urged, still smiling into his beer. But it wasn't nothing. It was _everything_. He saw something behind those blue eyes... a fire he hadn't seen in a very long time. He saw… her _fight_ returned to her. It was familiar to him. Like anytime she'd step up to him, toe to toe, not backing down. He saw the strong woman she used to be, and the possibility fascinated him. She had been working on herself. And whatever she was doing, it was working.

"Derek," she insisted, saying his name again, more seriously. And although it wasn't split in two, the pure annoyance pack into the 5 letters was enough for his ears to perk up. There was the intimate warmth he missed...

He knew he was looking at her like he had just won the goddamn lottery because he felt like he had. "There it is," he replied almost to himself in pure awe as he openly stared at the magnificent women in front of him. Her eyes were no longer dull and stormy. Still, not quite as bright as they used to be, but something was definitely changing and he could see it. She was sleeping more, the dark circles fading a bit. Or maybe it was the makeup. Whatever it was, he was intrigued by it. All of it.

Casey rolled her eyes, arms crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. The outward attitude spiked something in him. "Derek, why are you-"

Derek snapped, pointing at her, his finger following the line of fire in her eyes, which served to only intensify it. He beamed, and he didn't care how ridiculous he looked. "That. Right there," _fucking beautiful,_ he thought to himself.

Casey practically growled at him, narrowing her eyes. "Derek Venturi, I swear, if you don't-"

" _There she is. There's my girl_ ," he murmured to himself, shaking his head like he couldn't believe it. The second the words slid past his lips he knew he had said too much. He was glad everyone knew to give them space, and no one overheard the comment, because that would be awkward, especially with Mike's family there.

But she heard him.

The fire flickered out like he had poured an ocean of water over it. Panic washed over her. She was lost again. Dull once more. " _Wh-what_ _?_ " she stammered, flushing pink looking away from him. Bussing herself with the table again. As if it weren't already perfect.

Derek shook his head. Maybe him being away was a good thing... for both of them? "Sorry I...I just saw a flicker of the old Casey there for a second," he explained, frowning. He had ruined it. With his stupid words and excitement.

"The old Casey?" she asked softly. Like she was recalling someone else's memory.

"Yeah. You know that badass independent woman who didn't take my shit," he offered weakly, finally bringing the bottle to his lips for a few much needed gulps.

Casey raised an eyebrow in his direction, almost baiting him, but not quiet. "I still don't," she reminded him, her voice even and decisive.

And maybe that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was summer. Next chapter is fall! The best season of them all.
> 
> Also- I've just finished Midnight sun (Edward POV of Twilight) and the Dasey story was from my actual life. A boy I liked noticed that I had finished twilight. I told him I had to wait to read the sequel, so he went out during our lunch period and got me New Moon (hard cover!). And that it my peek HS romance story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one where everything just falls into place

Fall was the superior season. It marked the return of cooler weather and therefore, the return of Derek fall's aesthetic.

It all started with his leather jacket, obviously. Over the years he had accumulated quite a few, but he had two or three staple jackets that he rotated through. Fall also meant boots. Derek was beyond happy to be able to wear a pair of jeans, boots, his leather jacket, and one his favorite plaid flannels... that was till he realized his daughter had stolen most of them _directly_ out of his closet. So, that's what parenting was, huh?

Regardless, fall meant a crisp morning, a vintage leather jacket, a pair of worn boots, and a long drive on the back of Derek's bike. He loved to see the various shades of orange leaves spinning into oblivion as he zoomed by, inhaling that fresh morning air.

Aside from all that, fall marked the return of hockey and Derek's favorite holiday- Halloween. So yeah, it was perfect.

Sky seemed to agree as well. She went nuts decorating the house with fall colors, adding pumpkin scented everything, _everywhere_. Something she hadn't done at Casey's place the fall before. He was glad to see her embracing their new space and making it unique to her taste. He wasn't even mad when Halloween decorations went up on September 1st. He loved her enthusiasm and told her to go as big as she wanted to.

Derek was amped for the first practice of the season with the boys (and the one girl who joined the team as well.) Before running any drills or conditioning, he made them all run 3 miles in retribution for the party they attended at his (Casey’s) house at the end of the school year, as promised. They all groaned, complaining it wasn't fair. Not everyone on the team was there. But he didn't care. He pushed the team mentality on them.

"When _one_ of you messes up, _we_ all mess up!" They all groaned in response, the sound echoing in the empty rink. Derek went on, "And when _one_ of you wins, _we_ all win," he added. To that, the team cheered. "Three miles! Let's go!" he called out, and the team shuffled out of the rink, headed for the track. And then he ran three miles with them because he was part of the team.

All in all, the team felt solid. The players listened well and as long as they maintained their GPAs, Derek thought they had a good year ahead of them.

After practice, just as the team was skating off the ice Sky appeared, taking the seat on the bench next to Derek. Her eyes were locked on the now empty glistening ice in front of them. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed dramatically.

"So, who is he?" Derek asked, his voice dry after a long practice yelling over the noise. He was tired, but he knew his daughter needed something or else she wouldn't have been there.

"Who's _who_?" she asked. But she knew _exactly_ what he was asking her.

"The boy you wanted me to coach for? The one you _clearly_ came to practice to see. Is it Jamie? Please, _please_ let it be Jamie," Derek begged all the gods that were listening. Jamie was one of the shyer boys on the team. A head full of red curly hair and reserved as hell. He hoped that if it were any of the boys, it would be Jamie.

Sky just grinned, showing all her teeth. "I'll tell you if you tell me what _I_ want to know," she bargained like she was calling a bet at the poker table in Vegas.

Derek groaned. His daughter was _relentless_. He knew exactly what she wanted to know. She had questions. Questions about Casey, of course. It was rare for him to say no to her. She wasn't used to it. So, she had been hounding him like they were some puzzle she simply needed to solve. He wasn't sure if she actually cared about the answer... or if she just wanted to torture him. Because it seemed like fun for her. (She really was his kid, huh?)

"If it's about _her_ , I'm not playing." He was serious. Sky had been trying to extort information from him all summer long. He gave an inch she took a mile. Never satisfied that one.

"Dad, you have to stop avoiding her! She misses you. And you miss her too! Can't you go back to being friends? Or _best_ friends?" Sky pleaded, puppy dog eyes and a little pout. If it were about _anything_ else, he would have given in already. He was soft when it came to his kid. Too soft sometimes, and he knew it.

The thing was, he wasn't _avoiding_ Casey. Avoiding meant going out of his way not to talk to her or see her. He wasn't doing anything of the sort. He was just _busy_ with his own stuff. Healing. Dating? Whatever! And they didn't have much of a reason to see each other. Plus, Casey had his number, she could reach out if she wanted to. But the reason he moved out was to get away from Casey. To get over her. So yeah, he wasn't knocking on her door. But Sky seemed to _hate_ the distance between them...

Derek turned to his daughter slowly, giving her what he hoped was a convincing stare. He shook his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll see you at home, alright? I'm going out for drinks with Sam and Ralph. There's a bunch of leftovers from Marti's last visit," he replied, gathering his things.

"Dad," she called out when he was a few steps away from her.

" ** _What_**?" he groaned, throwing his head back in frustration.

" _Derek_ ," she replied, calmly.

Slowly he turned back around and looked at his daughter. " _What_?" he asked, confused this time. Derek? He knew he was being a bit harsh...but did it really warrant the switch from Dad to Derek? She had never, _ever_ , done that before. Was it a teenage thing? _Shit_. Would he actually have to talk to Casey about Sky's behavior? Was she doing it on purpose? Acting out to get his attention. His mind spiralized with the possibilities.

Sky just looked at him, with sadness in her eyes. "The guy I wanted you to coach for...The guy I came to practice for. His name is Derek Venturi."

_Oh._

* * *

So, yeah. Derek didn't go out with the boys that night. He went home with his daughter and gave in to her ridiculous demands because he felt like the world's worst father. (He also knew she had him wrapped around her little finger. But she was his whole world, what else was he expected to do?)

"Ok, kid. You want to talk about it so badly. Let's talk about it. But I'm only doing this _once_ , you got that? No more questions. No more pestering. Ok?" he negotiated his terms with his daughter. A massive pizza sitting between them at the kitchen island.

Sky just nodded. She hadn't wiped the smile off her face ever since he gave into her at the rink.

"God, I feel like you should have a beer for this or something," he groaned, slouching back in his seat. He simply couldn't believe that he was going to tell his daughter (almost) everything.

Sky eyed him carefully. As if she thought maybe he might actually offer her a beer.

"It was a joke!" he clarified. "Ok, so everything I'm about to tell you is between us. No one else. Not Luca. Not Marti. Not even Amelia. You got that?"

Sky nodded, extended her pinky to her father.

Derek just smiled at her innocence. He wanted to change his mind. Take it all back in that moment. But she deserved answers. She knew too much and was filling in the blanks on her own. He reached out to wrap his finger around hers.

_Pinky promise._

Derek let out a heavy breath. He was insane to do this. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," she replied as if there were any other answer she could have given him.

Derek should have known. "I don't even know where to start," he admitted softly.

"Try the beginning," she promoted, piling pizza onto their plates.

Derek nodded. And then he started.

He told her about meeting Casey that very first time, when she thought he was Ralph. The retainer, lisp, bangs, and school uniform. Ralph (posing as Derek) hitting on Casey. Operation disengagement: The dinner from hell, featuring Casey's pigtails, and triumphant ice cream. And then, how they fixed everything and how he absolutely hated his dad in the moment because holy shit there was something different about Casey McDonald but he couldn't put his finger on it just yet...

He told her about fighting with her. The pranks and the screaming matches. The two years they spent living at home being a warzone. The teasing and taunting, and the spark in the back on his mind telling him there was something _there_. Something that shouldn't be.

And then he told his daughter about love. How falling in love with Casey felt different than it did with Sally. How love made him want to be a better person, be a man who was deserving of her. He told her about how resistant Casey had been about all of it... And how it made him feel inadequate. But still, he had gotten her so close to giving in. To giving it a real chance...

And then he told her about Mike, and the end. And everything that followed after. And although he didn't _want_ to tell his daughter, he felt a million times lighter after doing so. The lies and the secrets took a toll on him. But there were none left. Not between them. Derek had never truly shared his story, not the one about Casey. Everyone picked up on bits and pieces of it. But no one knew how he felt about all of it… Except for Sky that is.

Sky listened to every word as if there was a quiz at the end. Her fingers itching to take notes.

"She was never my girlfriend or anything, but-"

"Yes, she was," Sky interjected.

Derek gave his daughter a small smile but didn't argue. "Well, there you have it. That's everything you need to know."

"Dad...You've got to stop running away from her," Sky said softly.

Derek was surprised that out of everything he said, that was her response. "Running away? No, honey, I was _drafted_." He knew his daughter wasn't the biggest hockey fan but that was out of his hands.

Sky shook her head, not buying it. "And you left without telling her. And then you moved to LA, without saying goodbye. And now? When things start getting _too_ real, you move out dad. You moved us out," Sky frowned, disappointed in him.

Derek blew out his breath. There was no arguing with her. He raised her after all. She had an answer for just about everything. "What would you like me to do?" he asked his daughter softly. He understood her frustration, but there was no way around it.

"Uh, I don't know dad. Maybe tell her how you feel?" Sky replied, irritation lighting up her features.

"I promise you, she _knows_ how I feel, kiddo. She just lost her husband. She just needs a distraction. That's what I've always been for her. Something to fill the void, and I'm tired of it," he shrugged. Because it was finally time he fell out of love with Casey McDonald. And he was trying. If only Sky would _let_ him.

Sky went to open her mouth again. But Derek couldn't handle another question. He had given her enough. He was tapped out. He just shook his head.

"Let it go, baby. _Please_ , just let it go," he pleaded with a sad smile.

And for the first time in a long time, she actually listened.

* * *

Derek was a little giddy to be able to spend some time with Luca. He knew teenagers had way better things to do than to hang out with their…. _uncle_? But it was a hockey game. And Derek _always_ had the best seats. So, it was a win for everyone. Plus, it gave Luca an excuse to show Derek his driving skills.

Luca pulled into the arenas parking lot swiftly. He turned the car off and gave Derek one hell of a cocky smile. One Derek recognized a little _too_ well.

Derek nodded, visibility impressed by the boys driving. "You actually didn't hit anything. Alright, Seater. Not bad," Derek admitted proudly.

Luca rolled his eyes but was thrilled to hear the praise. "Whatever," he groaned. "Come on you owe me popcorn and nachos _and_ hotdogs!" Luca declared, getting out of the driver's seat, pulling on his custom 'Seater' Maple Leafs jersey over his sweater.

"And cotton candy!" Sky added, coming out of the back seat. She was wearing one of Derek's old Kings jerseys with 'Venturi' on the back because 'representation matters, dad!' "You can't forget the cotton candy!" she demanded, falling into step with the boys, slipping under her father's arm.

It was Derek's turn to roll his eyes, the kids were going to eat him out of house and home. "Come on. Get in here Lu. You pay your way with love and affection," Derek teased. He didn't think the teen would listen. But then Luca slipped into step with the father/daughter duo, letting Derek draped an arm around his shoulder too. Luca would soon be too tall for that, so Derek appreciated it tenfold.

Something filled Derek's chest as he walked into the arena with Sky and Luca under his arms. It felt like...happiness? Fulfillment? He wasn't entirely sure. It was a new feeling. Spending time with his favorite kids, watching his favorite team play his favorite sport? How could it get much better than that?

* * *

Derek was nervous. Insanely nervous. Because he had invited Casey over for the very first time. (Because this time _he_ needed her.) Ok, so it wasn't the first time she had been invited. Sky had tried to get her to come over a million times since the move. But Casey had never actually accepted till _he_ sent that text.

So he cleaned up, made sure their place was spotless. The beds were made. The sink was empty. The cushions were fluffed. The apple cinnamon candles that Sky had put out were turned on and the house smelled delicious. It was like he needed to prove to her that he too could run a household. He had done it before after all.

"Hey," Derek breathed out with a wobbly smile when he greeted her at his front door.

She looked good. Her hair pulled into a messy bun. Pink leggings and a matching sports bra with a sweater over it...She had no right looking that good. Maybe she had just come back from the gym? How could a look so casual still make Derek's heart race?

He knew she was coming, obviously, but still, it was a shock to see her in his space after everything that had happened.

 _Want to come over tonight and organize my pantry? I'll make dinner_. Was the text he sent, baiting her. He knew she'd love nothing more and a good organization project to keep her busy.

"Hey," she smiled softly, stepping into his home. "Sorry, I'm a mess. I came straight from the dance studio," she explained, one hand reaching up to smooth out her hair. Maybe she was just as nervous as he was. They hadn't been alone together for a long time...

He hadn't seen that coming. "Are you dancing again?" he asked softly. The idea of Casey dancing again was like him playing hockey again. Nostalgic perfection tied with a pretty pink bow.

She shrugged like it is no big deal. "Sometimes," she muttered, sounding embarrassed about it. But she had no reason. She had always been an excellent dancer.

"Well, welcome to Casa De Venturi!" Derek replied, closing the door behind her. "Make yourself at home," he prompted her, leading her into his living room.

Casey's eyes glanced around as she kicked off her shoes and put her things down. "Not too shabby," she nodded approvingly at the floor to ceiling windows that adorned the living room. The sun was just setting, casting a glow into space beautifully. As if Casey needed an extra glow.

"Thanks," he beamed proudly, trying his best not to stare. "Uhhh, let me give you the grand tour," he added, making his way into the living room to join her. "This is the main area," he started, in the middle of the living room that bled into the modern-looking kitchen with sleek stainless steel appliances. "And that is my favorite place in the house," he pointed to the kitchen.

Casey smiled, walking over into said kitchen. Her fingertips tasted the marble countertop gently in appreciation. She even blew out a soft whistle, clearly approving. And then she noticed it. "Are you...Making pancakes?" she asked, looking up from the frying pan and the pancake mix he had put out just before she knocked.

" _Maaaybe_ ," he replied, sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck almost embarrassed.

Casey rolled her eyes. Not a minute in and she was already annoyed with him. They were doing well in getting everything back to their natural state of being. He was almost proud of them for it. "Der-ek! You said you'd make _dinne_ _r_. I assumed it would be _real_ food," she argued.

"Hey! My house. My rules. Breakfast for dinner," he argued, crossing his arms over his chest like he was ready for a fight.

"This is the real reason you moved out, isn't it? My house just had too many rules. Veggies and greens were just too much, huh?" she teased, poking fun at him, a smile tipping at her lips giving it all away.

It was so easy between them. It always had been.

"No. Not at all. We've been pretty good about food, actually. You'd be proud! We've been cooking those meal delivery kits together a few times a week together. 'Family bonding' and all that. I promise, she's eating veggies and protein. But, we ran out, and I haven't done groceries yet," he explained with a shrug. "So, pancakes. Unless…" they could order out if she was _really_ opposed to it.

"Pancakes are fine," she smiled softly.

He felt her eyes drifting from his face down to his bare chest. "Do you usually cook shirtless?" she had to ask. A teasing tone in her voice that filled the air.

Derek chuckled in response because he hadn't even considered it. He had gotten so used to walking around shirtless in his home. " _I do_ ," he answered, truthfully. He simply couldn't control the fact that his voice dropped a bit and he licked his dry lips. Cause she was looking at him like he was part of dinner and he recognized the look in her eyes far too well. Shit, he _still_ dreamt about it...

But in regards to cooking shirtless, well… yeah. He did. Sky had a bet going for how long it would last till he burned himself. So far he was winning.

Casey seemed distracted, not being able to look away from his body. And although he enjoyed it, they were turning over a new leaf or trying to anyway. "Eyes up here, McDonald,” he teased her, snapping at eye level.

Casey met his eyes, but only for a second. "I'm sorry, you just…" she trailed off, pointing at his chest, still mesmerized by it. As if that were an answer.

Derek rolled his eyes, not buying it. "You've seen me naked like a million times, Case. This isn't nearly as distracting," he countered because it was true. And he was in way better condition back then. "I'll go find a shirt," he decided for her benefit. "Come on, let's finish the tour while I'm at it."

He led them down the hallway, opening the doors as he went. "Guest bathroom…, Nothing too exciting here. I'm sure you can guess who picked the galaxy theme," he pointed out. The bathroom was pretty cool, he had to admit. But he drew the line at stars on the ceiling. No matter how much Sky begged.

He kept going down the hall and opened the next door. "My room," he shrugged like it was no big deal. Because it wasn't. His room wasn't themed or anything. Light gray walls, basic white sheets, and a few good hotel quality pillows. He had a tv that hung on the wall opposite the bed and glorious blackout curtains he could not live without. Against the window, there was a small desk, which was empty beside his laptop. Casey peeked inside, following him in as he rummaged through his closet, pulling out a black tee.

"Better?" he asked, looking up at her when he was fully clothed.

She eyed his clothed torso for a second, considering. "I haven't decided yet," she finally answered with a grin. And although the flirty banter was dangerous, the fact that they no longer lived together seemed to ease the burn normally associated with it.

Derek just chuckled to himself, leading her out his room back out into the hallway. "And here is where the magic _really_ happens," he smiled, opening the door to Skys bedroom, letting Casey take a look inside.

Casey's jaw dropped. Sky's bedroom was pretty cool. It was painted a dusty mauve color with a decent sized canopy bed decked out with white netting and fairy lights. "Woah. This room is huge. You gave her the master?" Casey asked, in shock.

Derek shrugged like it was no big deal. He shoved his hands into his pockets almost bashful about it. "I made her move when she wanted to stay with you. So, yeah she got the best room in the house. It's the least I could do. Plus her desk wouldn't fit in the other room," he pointed at Sky's massive workbench. It spanned nearly the entire length of the room. It was big enough for her to spread out her variety of projects. Enough for her to tinker with when she was building her robot for science club. Or work on school projects. It was her prized possession. She had built it alongside Derek in LA a few years back when Derek was trying to get her to spend time with him.

"Wow. That's beautiful Der. This looks amazing," she smiled, turning toward him. " I don't know why she'd ever want to leave this place, but you know she's always welcome to crash at mine anytime. If you ever need a break or... _whatever_ ," she added with a shrug.

As if Derek would put his kid out for a booty call. Or maybe it was a dig about him sleeping with Monica. Whatever it was, he ignored it. "I know," he replied, trying to see the silver lining and not the insult hidden in her words. "Come on. Pancakes," he reminded her with a forced smile.

* * *

"So...I may have lied to you to get you to come over," Derek admitted, looking at Casey who sat at the counter while he flipped pancakes into the air like a professional.

"So, you _don't_ want me to organize your pantry?" Casey asked, clearly concerned about its change of plans.

Derek scoffed. "No, no I do! Have at it! I just…" he trailed off, licking his lips. The words were on the tip of his tongue but he was too _embarrassed_ to share them. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, willing his tongue to move. To speak.

Casey frowned, clearly concerned. "Der?" She asked gently.

"Sky's on a date," he finally admitted. Her first date. So Derek was a bit on edge. Or a lot on edge. _Whatever_.

He watched as a smile crept along Casey's lips slowly. Too slowly to be surprised by the news. "I know," Casey beamed at her 100-watt smile at him. And if he wasn't so stressed, he would have melted.

"You do?" he asked, confused. Eyebrows knitting together.

Casey arched an eyebrow in his direction. "You really think she'd go on a date without talking to me first?" she asked, sounding offended by the question. "Derek, she facetimed me three times before the boy arrived!" Casey explained.

Derek shook his head "No, your right. Of course," he frowned. He should have known. He was glad Sky told her. Because Casey _should_ know. He wanted to keep her In the loop of things. And this felt like a big event and an important one that she should know about.

"I'm surprised you're taking it so well," Casey added, stealing some chocolate chips from the bowl Derek had set out for the pancakes. She popped them into her mouth, smiling at him knowingly.

"I'm not," he admitted looking up at her. "I'm freaking out here, Case," he sighed. "But, I know the kid. He's from the hockey team, nice. Quiet," he explained

"Good," Casey decided, liking his answer. "She'll be fine, Der. Relax ok. Pancakes!" Casey reminded him. And he recognized the game she was playing. Distract Derek so he doesn't freak out. He knew it well. That's why he needed her. No one would be able to calm him down from this except Casey.

"Pancakes," he replied, plating the final one.

* * *

**Casey** : Pumpkin picking. This weekend.

That's it. That was the text that lit up Derek's phone in the afternoon as he headed to the rink. It also subsequently started up the group chat between Casey, Sky, Luca, and himself. One that had been dead since before he moved out.

Before he even got to think about it, Sky was already answering.

 **Sky** : Only if we carve them together!  
**Luca** : Only if I get to drive!

Derek did not like the sound of that. Just cause Luca _could_ drive didn't mean he'd be doing all the driving!

 **Derek** : Woah Woah Woah! If I'm being dragged pumpkin picking, I get to drive!  
**Casey** : No one's dragging you, Derek! We can go without you.  
**Luca** : Fineeeeeeee. But If I'm not driving then SOMEONE is buying me apple cider and pumpkin pie! This is nonnegotiable.  
**Derek** : Not it. I'm driving.  
**Casey** : I will buy the pies and cider. Derek will buy the pumpkins...ALL OF THEM!

Derek didn't like the sound of that, but he knew better than to argue. Plus it would be the first family bonding they would be doing since the move. He knew it was important.

* * *

That weekend they all piled into Derek's SUV ready for a day full of fun family bonding. There were only 5 minutes from home when Luca and Sky started bickering over the who controlled the music.

"If you two don't figure it out in the next 60 seconds, I'm playing classical ballet music the _entire_ ride over. Ok?" Casey threatened, poking her head into the backseat to glare at the teenagers. The look paired with her sweetest voice made it all almost creepy.

Suddenly the teens learned how to share. Going back and forth between their playlist. The parents being forced to listen to the crappy new age music, but they didn't complain.

"Miss this?" Casey asked quietly. Her lips pulled into a twisted sort of smile, she was enjoying the chaos around them.

"Like a hole in the head," he replied, smiling at the road in front of him.

And so they went pumpkin picking. And although Derek put up a good fight, it was adorable. They did a hayride on a bumpy tractor that tousled them about. (They were going to hurt in the morning.) The kids threw hay at each other, as expected. Derek may have kicked Casey across the bed of the truck, winking at her when she noticed. The sun was shining behind her like a halo and he simply couldn't resist. The kids took a zillion pictures to post on their socials. They (ok, maybe just Sky) made the parents pose for a few pictures. Casey held a pumpkin in her hands and Derek slung an arm around her shoulder with the mountains behind them. It was cute. After picking their pumpkins, a big task for his perfectionist of a daughter, the kids did the corn maze. Casey dragged Derek along while she stocked up on apple cider and pie as requested by her son.

By the time Derek was driving home, with entirely too many pumpkins in the back, both the kids and Casey were curled up fast asleep in the car. There was no way they were carving pumpkins. Which meant Sky was going to insist on going to Caseys the next day to complete the family bonding mission. So a weekend full of Casey. Why not?

* * *

They made a complete mess gutting those pumpkins. Derek and Luca were the more aggressive one, pumpkin seeds flying everywhere with each scope. And Luca _may_ have thrown a handful of pumpkin guts at Sky. _Allegedly_.

Derek's pumpkin carving skills were subpar. He ended up doing a maple leaf for his favorite team. Luca went classic, carving Jack Skellington face. Sky was a little too on the nose. She did a night sky themed pumpkin with the moon and stars. It took ages to get all the stars cut out, but it was worth it in the end. And Casey… ever the dancer did a ballerina on hers. She must have been tapping into her old self. And Derek loved it.

* * *

Casey's eyes shot open. She was greeted by the sight of her darkened bedroom. The shadows of the furniture throwing her off for just a second till she realized she was awake and safe. _Just a dream_ , she thought to herself. A really bad dream. She groaned rolling over onto her back. She blinked the thoughts away, but the pictures still lingered. She dreamt of Mike again. Those wouldn't go away, she knew it. But waking up from it, feeling the ache of the realization that he was just a figment of her imagination always stung.

Sighing she gave in, slipping out of bed and into her fuzzy slippers, pulling her robe around her body tight and making her way downstairs for a drink of water. She knew there was no way she'd get any real sleep any time soon.

She was staring out at the night sky from the kitchen window. There were a few stars out, but it was cloudy out so viability was low. She was lost in her thoughts when Luca showed tiptoed behind her.

"You alright mom?" Luca asked, yawning as he shuffled his way into the kitchen.

"Nightmare," she admitted with a shrug. No use in lying. It was written on her face clear as day. "Did I wake you?" she asked, knowing her son went to bed at 3 am most nights, no matter what she did. She stopped fighting that one as long as he was up on time ready for school the next morning.

"No, I was just headed to bed when I heard you," he replied. "You ok?" he asked, clearly worried about her. The boy had matured in the blink of an eye and she had no idea if she should praise him or try to slow it down.

Casey pressed her lips together for a second, considering her words. Then she turned to her son, a serious expression painted across her features. "I… I think we should sell the house."

* * *

"So, it's been a few months. How are you feeling post break up," Emily teased, taking a sip of her martini.

It was girls night. They had gotten good at scheduling those in. It was good for Casey to have time away from home. Time to gossip and relax and just _be_. Until Emily started teasing of course...

Casey rolled her eyes. Her best friend had gotten _real_ comfortable with the Derek stuff. "I'm fine," Casey swore. "I mean, I miss him, but we hang out and do family stuff all the time," she shrugged.

"Yeah. I saw you were pumpkin picking...as a _family,_ " Emily smirked. Tipsy Emily had very little filter and Casey was about to be on the receiving end of it. Hopefully, she didn't ask too many personal questions. Casey had never truly clarified what had happened between them. She had kept the details guarded and didn't need Emily pulling answers out of her.

"Oh come on!" Casey scoffed. "It was _wholesome_ content. Why are you being like that?"

"Because _you_ still want to jump his bones," Emily explained with entirely too much confidence, it scared Casey. Jeez, how much did Em have to drink?

And, ok. Emily wasn't wrong per se. Yes, Casey wanted to jump his bones. Especially when he was being all sorts of cute and adorable and an overall amazing dad. But she resisted the urge. They were going to be friends this time around. _Just_ friends. "Only a little bit," she murmured, hoping she wasn't blushing too bad. "Plus, I've gone on three dates recently!" she rushed to add, hoping to shift the conversation over to that instead.

Emily eyed Casey over the rim of her glass. She didn't look too convinced. " _Really_?" she drew out the word slowly.

"Well… yeah," Casey shrugged, feeling the tiniest bit judged. "I have to move on with my life, right? Marti made me a Tinder."

With that Emily's eyes lit up with excitement. "Ohhh, fun! Can I swipe?" her best friend asked, a touch _too_ excited by the possibility. Being married for so long as Casey had been, Emily never got to swipe or try any apps.

"Have at it. Haven't found a decent one on that thing," Casey sighed, handing her phone over without a care. It's not like she thought she'd find the next love of her life on the app...But a little more than the sorry duds she had landed on that for sure. She was very close to deleting the thing altogether and just letting fate take its course.

She watched in amusement as Emily swiped to her heart's content. Giggling and smiling and sometimes frowning at the phone's screen. Casey knew the feeling. You just never knew what you'd find on the app.

And then Emily's eyes went wide. "Uhh… Case,'' Emily started, looking up from the phone concerned.

"What?" Casey asked, knitting her eyebrows together.

Emily just slid the phone over on the table and that's when Casey saw it. Derek's profile on her phone. Casey just stared at his picture. Her heart racing in her chest. She knew she might come across his page at some point, she knew he was on the apps, obviously. But still, she wasn't ready to see it. His picture was one of him leaning against his bike wearing a leather jacket and his hair in perfect stupid waves. Of course, he looked gorgeous, but what else was new?

 **Derek V:** I go fast, so hold on tight.

Casey gulped, looking up at Emily, unsure of what to do.

* * *

Derek was bored for the first time in a long time. Sky was working on a project, so he couldn't in good conscience bother her, even though he was itching to. There were no games on. His Netflix queue was empty. His friends were busy. And he missed she-who-shall- not- be-named. So, he decided to take the advice of his little sister: " **Next time you have an itch-** **that's** **how you scratch it!"** He followed her instructions and opened the dating app. He was debating asking out that yoga instructor he had briefly spoken to that summer when a familiar face filled his screen.

 **Casey McD** : Dirty talk for a clean freak.

He nearly choked reading her bio. _What?_ He read it. Then read it again. And then, the pun sank in, hesitantly he looked at her pictures, his fingers processing faster than his mind. It was like he couldn't believe it was her. He had to see the proof, the pictures. She had a classic black and white headshot and a mandatory bikini picture showing off her body. And finally, the piece of resistance, a picture of her in a yellow sundress in the backyard, on her tippy toes doing a ballerina pose with a leg halfway in the air. Poised and perfect. He recognized it from Luca's birthday party, so recently. It really was Casey. Not a catfish.

He didn't have a choice. He couldn't simply ignore the fact that he had come across her profile. So he swiped right and waited.

An hour later, while he was making dinner, his phone lit up with a new notification. He had received a match from one Casey McDonald _Oh, really?_ He thought to himself. _Game on._

Derek thought about what to say. It was Casey, so obviously it was different than his normal pick up lines. He looked around the kitchen for inspiration when it hit him.

**My sink is full of dishes. Is that dirty enough for you?**

_Not my kind of dirty._ Came her reply, rather quickly too. Like she was just waiting for him to say something. _  
_  
Derek read and reread that line 10 times. What _was_ her kind of dirty? He didn't remember anything out of the ordinary. It was all pretty standard vanilla stuff in college. He was contemplating what to write back when a new message came in.

_This is all your sister's fault, btw._

And then, before he even got to analyze what that meant, she unmatched him.

"What?" Derek spoke aloud to his phone. Marti? Marti had done it? He shouldn't have been surprised, the bio was _definitely_ not Casey material. But if Marti had done it... whose side was she on anyway?

"You ok dad?" Sky asked entering the kitchen, finally emerging from her bedroom where she had been all day.

Derek locked his phone like he got caught doing something wrong. "Uh, yeah. Fine!" he replied, tucking his phone into his pocket. "Hungry?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"Starving," his daughter groaned. (She really was his kid.)

* * *

It was Halloween weekend and Derek was out with the boys. He was in desperate need of some guy time, and during his favorite weekend of the year, he was excited for whatever they were going to get into.

Last Halloween he was busy worrying about Casey and she ended up crying in his arms. The one before that he was in LA, so that was a different kind of fun all together.  
But this Halloween would be different. It would be epic. He planned on having a shit ton of fun. And he _was_ having the best time with his boys and the night was young and full of mischief.

He was dressed as Clark Kent. The Superman shirt peeking out of a white button-down shirt and black-framed glasses to match. He even had the one solitaire curl fall against his forehead because, _accuracy_!

So, when he turned his head to scan the crowd for a cute nurse or angel and saw _her_ across the bar, he was _concerned…_ How much had he drunk? The last person he expected to see out and about was Casey. Especially after last year's disaster. Why would he? But he was pretty sure it was her, in costume no less.

She wore the most perfect shade of crimson red on her lips, and a hint of a white pointed fang peeking out. Her eye makeup was all dark and vampy. Her long hair was curled, pushed to one side of her shoulder, exposing the other side of her bare neck in a way that could tempt even the strongest of vampires... She wore a black corset with dark red detailing which pushed up her chest and cinched in her waist in a way Derek had never, _ever_ seen. She also wore a tight black lace dress that hit just above her knee, exposing miles of leg wrapped in thigh high stocking that ended in some kick ass heels. And because it was still chilly out, and she was practical, she wore a long burgundy jacket like a cape around her shoulders.

He didn't realize it but he had actually _stopped_ breathing. As if he dared to move, to blink, she'd dematerialize and he would rather suffocate then lose the vision in front of him.

How drunk was he?

"Dude, what's with the face?" Derek barely heard Ralph ask somewhere in the background. But then Ralph turned, following Derek's eyes, and he quickly understood.  
"God damn!" Ralph cursed, sounding _pained_ by the sight in front of them. And that exactly Derek's sentiments. "Has she _always_ looked like that or…?"

"D…" San started, with a hand on his shoulder. "I don't care that you're trying to let her go, turning over a new leaf or whatever the fuck. If you don't go over there _right now_ , someone else is taking her home tonight. She did _not_ come to play," Sam suggested, urgently. And he was right.

Finally, Derek blinked. He tore his eyes away from her and looked at his friends and then down at the drink still in his hand. Just like that, all rationale went out the window. He couldn't let her go home with anyone else. Maybe it was some primal animalistic nature in him? But the idea of seeing the love of his life with another man or woman just didn't sit right, he couldn't help himself.

Derek shot back the rest of his drink and wordlessly walked away from his friends. He weaved his way through the throngs of people to get to her.

"Sorry, she's not interested," Derek spat at the man who considered making his way within a two feet radius of her.

The man froze but listened. Maybe it was the way Derek was eyeing daggers at him. Maybe it was the bass in his voice. But it didn't matter. The man listened and walked away.

Casey spun away from her friends, hearing his voice. Her eyes rimmed with black burned into him. Paired with her vampire costume he might have _felt_ the fiery stare on his skin. And the sick bastard that he was thrilled in it.

"Derek," she purred, her voice sweet but laced with vodka.

"Princess," he replied, letting his eyes dance over every inch of her, not bothering to hide it. She looked... _delicious_. And he wanted a taste. He wasn't exactly sober. It was Halloween and there was talk of a pub crawl. But still, she called to him like the most alluring siren. He couldn't resist if he tried. Even knowing he shouldn't. He'd let her take a bite. Shit, he'd let her drain him if she wanted.

"Stop scaring off my victims, would you?" she asked, smirking at him, one hand reaching out to touch his neck gently. One long black nail scratched down the length of his throat, leaving a thin pink line in its wake. Casey licked her lips, still in character. "Unless of course, _you_ want to be next... Clark Kent?" she offered with a wink, her tongue clicking with the name.

How much had she had to drink?

"And what if I do?" he asked, his voice thick and gruff. There was no misunderstanding.

It surprised her. She thought he was going to fight her against the sentiment? Never. Derek grinned having the upper hand in the situation. He slipped a hand around her waist, over the silky material of the corset, dipping down to cloud her personal space. She smelled amazing, she always did. He dragged his mouth down to her ear and inhaled. "Dance with me," he suggested, lips brushing against her skin oh so very gently.

"Der," she countered, ready to protest. Her mask slipping, returning to regular, _normal_ Casey.

"Please," he begged. _Begged!_ Because he was drunk and she is beautiful. And there was no reason not to.

Casey's jaw slammed shut, those paint lips pursing into a straight line. She stared at him for a second and then, mind made up, she sauntered off to the dance floor without a word or a parting glance.

Derek didn't dance. Not like Casey anyway. And the music was not meant for anything slow. Normally, if a girl wanted to dance, he'd let her dance _on_ him. But this was Casey. It was different.

By the time he reached her, in the middle of the dancefloor, she was lost in a trance. Or maybe he was lost in her? It was hard to tell. His eyes followed the melodic sway of her hips as she moved to the music, hands reaching out for him. He took her hands, pulling her into him. She stumbled into his chest, giggling. And even though the music was loud and he couldn't hear her, he felt it against his skin. He was high on her. Everything she did was his kryptonite. His weakness. His demise.

And then she started to move _against_ him. Her hands slipping over his neck, her fingertips pressing into his skin sent heat rippling, everywhere. She gave him a smile tipped up in mischief as her hips moved to hypnotize him, forcing him to move _with_ her. "Come on, Der. Relax," she coached him.

He read the words spilling off her beautifully painted lips. Her voice was almost completely drowned out by the music since they were closer to the speakers. But he didn't mind. He liked the way the baseline vibrated up their feet. He was not able to look away from her mouth. His hands found her waist and he was tempted to let them side down to her ass. But he found the will.

There was even more giggling when he finally started to loosen up with her, following her lead. She turned in his arms, pulling his arms tighter around her middle. Her head laid on against his chest, tipping up and back to look at him. **Sin** . That's how he'd describe her. And then she pressed back into him in a way that shouldn't have been legal. And Derek's pupils were blown wide, he was sure of it.

He was drunk and high and in love. Completely intoxicated by everything about her.

She turned again, mouthing the lyrics to whatever song played as she moved against him. It is like he had laser focus on her mouth and his brain could not compute anything else but the sultry lyrics she was singing to him and the way her body perfectly moved against his. It was all too much for his humble nervous system to handle. Too many things happening all at once, his synapsis trying to fire, and tripping over one another. He was going to combust if she kept it up.

(But it was not nearly enough for the desire coiling up inside him. That part of him was hungry, needy, demanding. Moremoremore!)

She smiled, reaching up to press a kiss to the side of his neck. It was chaste, no tongue or teeth. But it was still nice to feel her lips on him. He felt a kiss shaped burn on his skin like a brand. He closed his eyes for just a second, letting it all sink in. When he opened his eyes again, she had pulled back enough to inspect her work. She smiled up at him like only a pleased little vampire could.

He licked his dry lips, his eyes flicking up to meet her. Her eyes were blazing, practically neon blue under the lights, and locked on his. How did he get so lucky to be on the receiving end of pure _fire_? He gladly burned it. " _Fuck it_ ," he growled to himself, his mind made up.

His hand cupped her jaw, the other looped around her back, pressing her flush up against him. He knew he was probably crushing her, but it still wasn't close enough. He wished there was a wall he could press her up against to get even closer. He pushed his leg between her open thighs and pressed into her like she was the missing puzzle pieces he'd been looking for. And that little voice that normally reminded him to behave was long gone because her lips tasted like vodka and cranberries and her tongue was soft and wet. And _holy shit_ he was kissing her.

It took a second for his mind to catch up to what his body was doing, acting all on pure impulse and no logic whatsoever. He really wasn't drunk enough to be so bold. But he had given up all pretenses and just went for it.

Till he short-circuited.

He pulled away from her slowly, ashamed of how impulsive he had just acted. This was exactly what he had avoided doing for over a year. And yet…

He opened his eyes and she was staring at him. He couldn't read her. Partly because of the alcohol and music combo and partly because she looked... _numb_? Shocked? Before he could pull away, give her her space back, and beg for forgiveness, her fingers were in his hair, gripping two fists of hair, pulling his mouth back down to where she wanted him. She got up on her tippy toes, which couldn't have been comfortable given the shoes, but she pressed into him with so much need he was breathless.

It took him a second to process, but soon he was on board. His grip on her tightened, _somehow_. She melted into him, and he took everything she gave him. His mouth moved against hers, and she dominated the kiss. His tongue ran over the plastic little fang on her tooth and he chuckled against her lips. It was all so fucking insane, but he didn't care. Their bodies continued to dance to the music, their hips begging for more friction. With his legs between hers, she was pressed up against him in all the right ways. He wasn't sure if it was doing anything for her, but the moan that rumbled against him told him she was enjoying herself.

His hands struggled to stay in appropriate places. He was vaguely aware that their friends had all seen it. But he didn't dare. He _couldn't_ care. Cause he was finally kissing her like he was starved because he was. It has been over a decade since he had tasted her. And he wasn't sure he could give it up the second time around.

Casey pulled away, trying to catch her breath, but not letting go of him. "You want to get out of here?" she asked, her chest still heaving, her hands still in his hair, like she was scared he'd pull away.

Numbly, he nodded. Because he'd follow her anywhere.

She smiled, slipping her hand into his, and pulling him through the mass of people and straight to the exit.

It wasn't till they got outside, till the cold October air hit them, that they sobered up and realized what they were doing. Or _trying_ to do it. Were they going somewhere? Where would they even go?

Casey dropped his hand, wrapping her cape/jacket around her, shielding her bare skin from the October chill. She looked up at him with scared puppy eyes, like he would know _just_ what to do.

And seeing her outside- _Fuck_! There was that little voice again. The logical one he hated oh so very much. "We...we can't do this," he sighed, leaning against the closest wall. He closed his eyes. He had to think. And he couldn't make a decision with those icy blues staring at him. His body wanted one thing. Of course, he just wanted to kiss her. To fall into the abyss of her mouth and her body. But would that ruin things? Would it hurt even more than it had before? "Can we?" he asked his voice horse after trying to talk over the music all night. His eyes peeking up to look at her.

"I…" she trailed off, considering. She licked her lips, her lipstick smudged. He felt a little smug knowing that _he_ had done that. "Luca should be home soon. And...I'm sure Sky is too?" she offered weekly. The seductress from inside had vanished, replaced with the shy, freaking out version of Casey in front of him.

And that was ok.

" _Shit_ ," Derek sighed, letting his head hit the wall so he could feel something else. "I'm sorry, Case," he murmured. _I'm sorry for kissing you. For dragging you out here. For trying to do more. For putting us in this awkward -_

Derek's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Casey giggling…. _Giggling_? She must have been too drunk to care, but not sober enough to understand. "I'm sorry too. Maybe we were a little reckless," she offered with a shrug. "But…" she trailed off, mischief behind those eyes again. _Temptation_.

It had been so long since he had seen that side of her, he was struggling to keep up.  
Derek raised an eyebrow, intrigued by what else could slip past those lips. "But?" he asked, cautiously. Was there a possibility? An inkling of more?

"I've got an empty house tomorrow night," she offered, her voice dripping sultry sin.

What?... _What_? "Are you... serious?" he asked slowly as if he was worried it was all a trap.

Casey just shrugged. "It's been a long _long_ time, Der," she admitted. Taking the step into him again, a hand trailing down his neck and chest. She got on her tippy toes and pressed her hot mouth against his again and he _swore_ he saw stars. An angel illuminated by the night lights. _Casey_.

When she pulled back, her thumb reached out and swiped against his mouth. He must have been covered in her lipstick, looking a mess. But he didn't care. She was smiling up at him, in the cold night, alone and secluded; she _still_ wanted him...

"I…" he trailed off, unsure of himself in the moment. "Yeah, ok. Tomorrow. I'll be there," he confirmed. He'd jump off a bridge with her if she asked. Of course, he'd follow her anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call me basic, but fall is my favorite time of year. I hope you felt it too.
> 
> And uhhhh... you know what's coming in the next chapter, right? You have been warned.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your warning that adult activities happen in this chapter.
> 
> The one where they finally give in.

When Derek got home, after everything with Casey he dragged his ass straight into the shower. He needed the ice water to sober him up. To bring him out of the haze. That's when he noticed a red lipstick stain on his neck. One Casey had purposely put there. He chuckled to himself, at the man in the mirror who had gotten so close that night. 

His life was ridiculous. 

He jumped into the shower feeling the icy drops sting his skin like spikes. 

Maybe he'd never have a normal Halloween again?

* * *

Casey was freaking out. She had _kissed_ Derek. Really, kissed him. Full on, tasting the tequila on his tongue, and feeling the burn in her chest, type of kissed him. And she liked it. _Really_ liked it. She wanted more. Was she _allowed_ to do that? 

She knew that in retrospect _he_ had kissed her first. But she encouraged it, didn't she? She pulled him in for more cause his stupid mouth felt good. And honestly, the things he could do with his tongue made her imagination run wild. It's not like she didn't know first hand… but it had been so long those memories were blurry and fuzzy. 

So naturally, she had invited him over. For sex. 

_Crap_. 

She knew she could just call him. He’d understand. But she didn't want to. The emotional part of her was greedy and couldn't wait to see him. She had _missed_ him. And then missed him some more in other less appropriate ways… Was it still considered inappropriate?  
  
Could she do it? _Physically_? It had been so long. Did she even remember how to... initiate it? Would she just jump his bones when he walked in? Or would he take care of everything? Casey was very hands-on when it came to sex. No pillow princess there. But...Would it hurt? It could. It has been so long she’d feel like a fumbling virgin all over again. 

A million questions filled her mind as she made her way to the dance studio the following morning. She had taken a couple of classes, but her favorite way to unwind, to _relax_ , to clear her mind was to book studio time. Just her, the music, and an empty room.  
  
She turned on the music, letting the classic symphony fill the mirrored room like it was her own private show. The music echoed wonderfully, expanding through her chest. She had already stretched and put on her pointe shoes. She pulled in a slow measured breath and put herself in first position. And then she danced.  
  
By the time she was done, she felt a million times better about everything. 

She was going to see Derek. And whatever happened, happened.  
  


* * *

Derek was on edge. Like he was playing a game. Antsy and anxious. He wasn't going to puke. He was _mostly_ sure of it. It's just… well. Would she be different when he showed up? Different than the night before? Because yeah, she was drinking and in costume. It was fun. They were at the bar. But sober, in her home... she could change her mind. She was well in her right. He just wished he knew what direction his night would go in.

She had sent him a text. Just a time and nothing else. Ominous and mysterious. Thrilling really. 

He’d jump into _whatever_ with her. He just hoped he survived it.

* * *

“Oh come on! You're not even playing fair, McDonald!” Derek groaned when his eyes landed on Casey that evening.  
  
She had answered the door wearing a hockey jersey. Last Halloween she had worn his. But this time it was her own. The blue Maple Leafs one with McDonald stitch on the back. And _maybe_ she wore shorts underneath, but Derek's eyes could only see a mile of leg peeking through. She knew the jersey was equivalent to lingerie for him. She would put it on any time he was upset with her and she’d pull him right out of his bad mood during their college days. So seeing her that way, after all those years and knowing what it could lead too...It was more than sexy.  
  
“What?” she asked, smiling like she was innocent. “I'm doing laundry,” she explained, with a pointed glare, closing the door behind him.  
  
“ _Right_ ,” he muttered, making his way into the house. He didn't believe her for a second. He looked around the house, picking up on all the subtle differences before taking a seat on the couch.  
  
“Drink?” she asked, bare feet already padding into the kitchen.  
  
“Water,” he called out. He wanted to be sober for whatever was going to happen. _If_ it was still happening, which he wasn't completely sold on. But last night...they were drunk. Or at least buzzed. He was glad it ended where it did. He didn’t want it to be a question.  
  
Casey returned to the living room handing him a bottle. She curled up on the couch, pulling her knees under her, keeping some distance between them. There was a tiny bit of awkwardness that hung in the air. But that was to be expected. He didn't think she was just going to jump into his arms or anything. He knew they would ease into it. Or maybe not?

“I'm still kinda surprised you were out last night,” Derek started, absentmindedly running a hand through his hair. They had to start somewhere, right? And last night… that was as good a starting point as any.

Casey looked embarrassed, eyes flashing away from his. “Yeah, well…” she trailed off, curling some hair around her finger. “I'm trying to get back to normal,” she murmured. 

Normal. “ _Shit_. I totally ruined it for you didn’t I?” he asked softly. She was trying to get back to normal and he had pulled her back into their old mess... 

Casey rolled her eyes. “Not everything is about you, Venturi!” she argued playfully. “Plus it takes two,” she offered softly with a weak smile.

" _Right_ ,” he replied. His voice tense. “So, where's the handsome devil tonight?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow, looking around cautiously. As if Luca were just going to pop up and scare the shit out of him. It was Halloween after all. The night was dark and full of terrors. And Luca could definitely be a terror.

Casey just shook her head. She must have felt his discomfort. It was radiating off of him in harsh waves and he knew it. “He's sleeping over his friend's house,” she explained, trying to put him at ease. “Which probably means he's trying to sneak into his girlfriend's house as we speak?” she chuckled to herself.  
  
 _Shit_. She was probably right. It's _exactly_ what Derek would have done. It’s exactly what he did when he was ‘sleeping over at Sams.’ Derek was impressed. “No way,” he whispered to himself. He knew there was this girl that Luca was _always_ texting, but he didn't think it was serious. Girlfriend? “So, he's dating her, huh? And you're ok with it? The sneaking around I mean?” he asked. He was surprised she’d be cool with him sneaking around behind her back.

Casey cringed. “He’s… Sorta dating her? It's a mess from the bits and pieces he's told me about, which aren't much. But high school relationships normally are, so…” she shrugged. “I just hope he's being safe, you know? I got him a book he probably won't read and a pack of condoms. I just don't want him to think sex is anything like porn. And it's not like he's going to talk to _me_ about it,” she frowned, looking deep in thought. “I don't know if he's sneaking around. I'm just assuming… it's what you’d do, right?” she asked a hint of a smile on her lips cause she knew him all too well.  
  
Derek just chuckled at the accuracy. “Yeah. 100%. Go to Sammys. Play some video games till some girl’s called. Sneak in and out before Sam’s mom noticed,” he admitted. “And I wouldn't worry too much about the other stuff. Mike gave him the talk. He’s good.” Derek offered, hoping the tidbit would help ease her mama bear heart.

“How do you…?” she trailed off, trying to put the pieces together. 

“It came up,” Derek shrugged. 

Casey was quiet for a moment. Which bled into a minute and then two. It made red flags go up in Derek’s mind. 

“What wrong?” he asked softly. He was ready for her to let him down slowly. But he preferred it if she could just rip the bandaid off instead.   
  
“It's just…” she sighed, covering her face with a hand. “It’s embarrassing that my son has a better love life than I do,” she finally replied, a dark chuckle rumbling past her bare lips.

That's what she was worried about? “I... _well_. I mean,” he didn't know what to say to that. It could have been true. But then again he was there...so? “Case, you’re on tinder,” he reminded her. Because that felt safer than talking about _them_.

Casey rolled her eyes, dismissing him with a hand. “That was all Marti, I told you.” 

“Well yeah, but…” he eyed her, hoping she'd fill in the blank on the obvious. 

“But nothing,” she shook her head. Stubborn that one. 

Derek thought about it for a second. Their two-sentence interaction. “Are you _actually_ into dirty talk?” he had to ask. The question had been haunting him since reading her bio. She was a clean freak… But dirty talk? 

Casey eyed him. “Wouldn't you like to know,” she grinned. 

“Well, yeah. I would. _Obviously_ ,” he replied, maybe a bit too eager? _Whatever_. His cards were on the table. She knew who she was dealing with.  
  
Casey just chuckled, shuffling closer to him, till her knees were pressed up against him. “I really missed you Der,” she spoke softly. Her small hand came up and cupped his face. She brushed her thumb back on forth along his cheek, drinking him in. Derek was almost uncomfortable under her stare. What was she seeing?  
  
“That was _filthy_. Keep going,” he teased for just a second. “I'm joking, but uh…” he licked his lips. _Shit. Were they going there? Were they getting deep?_ “I missed you too, Case,” he admitted gently. Because it was only fair.  
  
She smiled almost to herself as she stared at him. “Did you know that when you go a few days without shaving, and you get a bit scruffy,” she started to explain, her knuckles rasping along the stubble on his cheeks. “Little bits of copper red start poking through your brown scruff? I normally catch it in the sun. It’s kind of adorable,” she finished.  
  
Her thumb moved lower, tracing the outline of his bottom lip gently, back and forth. Derek tried to remain calm under her gentle touch; he tried not to step over the line, so he balled his free hand into a fist to keep himself from moving an inch. He gritted his teeth, forcing the muscles in his jaw to flex; hoping to keep his tongue from slipping out and licking her wandering digit.  
  
But she was so busy looking at his mouth, like it was a jewel she'd always coveted, she probably didn't even notice the turmoil she was putting him through. 

Eventually, her eyes flickered up to meet his again. The apples of her cheeks flushed like she had gotten caught. Like she was just remembering that he was actually there. She was quiet for a while until her fingers moved across his face again.

“ _And_ ,” she went on as she had never stopped. “In direct sunlight, your eyes look like aged whiskey,” she spoke softly. Looking at him so intensely, he held his breath. “Or...or maybe like warm honey melting into camomile tea,” she whispered, weighing out the comparisons in her head like he wasn't even there. She licked her lips before continuing. “Sometimes, when you're mad or upset, they darken, like pools of milk chocolate,” she went on to explain.  
  
Who knew Casey McDonald stared at him enough to even know that? Derek couldn't describe the color of his own eyes but she had a metaphor lined up in her back pocket? Oxygen became an issue, so he forced himself to breathe, but she wasn’t done yet.

“And sometimes your eyes get so dark they look like inky black puddles. I’ve only seen it happen a few times. And always when you're looking at me. Like, you want to **_devour_** me or something…” she trailed off. The corner of her lips kicked up. “Like right now,” she whispered. 

She knew. She 100% knew what she was doing to him.  
  
Derek sucked in another breath. His head felt fuzzy. He was practically dizzy on her. His thoughts tried to rearrange themselves into some logical pattern. He wanted to believe that it all meant something. That it isn't just physical...  
  
But then she moved. She swung a leg over his hip, straddling him. Both hands came up to cup his face in her hands like he was _important_ to her. “And I know all these tiny little things because..." she trailed off. "Because I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen," she finished.  
  
It was like those were the magic words to break the spell. She loved him. She really had. 

“ _Casey_ ,” he gritted out her name like it was a prayer and a curse. Derek hadn't known _emotional foreplay_ before that very moment. But the way she spoke, and the softest touch on his skin... She took him apart piece by piece, laying him out bare. He was open and vulnerable just for her.  
  
“Der,” she whispered her hands moving from his face to loop around his neck. Fingertips dipping into his hair. Her mouth hovered barely an inch away from his. Her eyes pleading him. 

His hands found their way to her hips, anchoring her to him. Fusing them together. It felt so familiar. So right. Like it always had been with her.  
  
He would always be a little bit in love with her. Why bother fighting it any longer?  
  
“Are you sure you want to do this?” his voice sounded like pure gravel. He pleaded with her and dared her all at the same time. As if she said no he might wither away a die of mortification. He knew he was flying too close to the sun and could get burned, but it was a chance he was willing to take.

She nodded once, shifting her weight to her knees, straightening up so she was taller than him given their position. The hand she had in his hair, pulled softly, forcing him to tilt his head up to reach her. And finally, they kissed.  
  
Kissing Casey had always been a thrill. They would go at it for hours when they were young. Not so innocent kisses. Tongue licking stripes down throats... Teeth, nibbling, and biting sensitive skin. Breathe trailing down places. But this kiss, the one she pressed against his mouth was so soft, so gentle. He wasn’t expecting it. He was ready for hard, wet, tongue, and teeth. He thought she wanted fast and quick, like a repeat of the night before. But she didn’t do that. No. It was clear she wanted to take her time with him. And he would gladly give it. Those perfect pillow lips kept pressing little tiny kisses against him like she was testing the waters. Making sure she was ready to jump in. So he let her. 

She pressed kisses to his mouth and smiled against his skin as she moved to his scruffy cheeks and his closed eyelids. She kept going till she peppered his entire face with kisses. He melted with each one. Casey _loved_ on him in a way he hadn’t felt in over a decade. She took her time adoring him as if _he_ was the one in need. And maybe he was? He hadn’t felt loved, real love, since she left him. 

“ _Casey_ ,” he warned her when her lips dropped, exploring the expanse of his throat. The night before she had pressed a kiss there, marking him with her lipstick. He felt those same lips leave wet invisible kiss marks all over his skin. The cool air making each spot tingle long after she was gone. He wasn’t thinking straight, falling into the abyss with her. They were still fully clothed yet he felt naked and raw underneath her.

“Hmm?” she hummed, moving to cover the other side of his neck with the same royal treatment. Her teeth took a second to nibble at his earlobe on the way down. He was going to lose it if she kept it up. She kept a hand in his hair, angeling him however she needed. Her hips dragging along with his lap slow and deliberate. A lethal combination.

He was in. For _whatever_ she wanted. He was puddy in her hands. “Princess,” he groaned, closing his eyes trying to keep it together. His control hung by a string. “Bed,” he finally said out loud, his voice horse like he'd been screaming. His hands curved around her ass, squeezing, trying to get her attention one way or another. “ _Now_ ,” he demanded. Mentally he waved the white flag of surrender. She could do with him what she pleased...but put him in a bed first at the very least.

Her head popped up away from the neck. She stared at him with wet pink lips, tempting him further. 

He shook his head out of the fog. A game plan. He needed one. _They_ need one. There weren't teenagers anymore. They have responsibilities. Kids who could walk in at any given minute. Even if she said Luca was out for the night. They needed a bedroom with a door. Some level of privacy. 

He brought a hand up to her jaw, steadying her. “You have me, ok? _Whatever_ you want. Just…” he took a deep breath and formed a logical plan. “Bed,” he repeated like it explained everything.

She looked like she’s going to object. To say something snarky in reply, so he added, for good measure, “ _Casey_ ,” he hissed, pleading with her. 

She sucked her bottom lip in, considering him. Was she trying to have him right then and there in the middle of the living room? Why was she taking so long? After a few seconds, she nodded, slipping off of him, but she didn't take a step to move. It was truly pathetic the way his body missed the weight of her instantly.  
  
She talked about his eyes, but hers were just as bad. The dark yearning ones? Yeah, she had a similar look to her. Her blue eyes looked almost navy, pupils were blown wide. It was nice to know whatever was between them worked both ways.  
  
She reached out a hand to him, leading him down to the basement. He hadn't considered the _where_ of it all. He just demanded a bed. But it made sense that she took him downstairs instead of up. He didn't want to sleep with her in _their_ bed. But he also didn't want to sleep with her with a picture of Mike looking down at him... Thankfully that wasn't an issue. He noticed the basement had been decluttered just like the living room. Only the TV and couch remained in the den. And in his old bedroom, the empty dresser and his old bed. The sheets were still on them.

Derek took a seat on the edge of his bed looking around. He almost forgot what they were doing as he took it all in. His old room, where he tossed and turned and dreamt of Casey. Where he was under her roof, somehow finding the will to be the bigger man. He wasn't sure how he had been so strong...

“Hey,” came her soft voice from the doorway. He stared at her, in her jersey, looking like his favorite kind of dream. Her dirty brown locks already rustled, and they had hardly even touched. But god she was beautiful. He could stare at her all day.

He had to smile back at her. “Hey,” he replied, offering a hand. Beckoning her to him where she belonged. 

Casey’s bare feet padded over to him, standing in the space between his knees. His hands instinctively curled around the back of her thighs. Her skin felt like silk under his calloused fingers. She was impossibly soft in all the right ways. 

“We don't have to do this,” he explained gently, a hand coming up to brush the hair out of her face. His hand reached up, his thumb tracing her jaw gently. “You can still back out,” he reminded her, his voice soft but true. Because he knew that the walk downstairs felt like a mile; it allowed for a lot of thinking. _Clear_ thinking, not like the kind she was doing perched on his lap.

Casey gave him a wicked smile in return. She shook her head, determined. Her hand wound around his neck again, dipping into his hair. “I'm in, Der. But, it's not too late for _you_ ,” she countered, teasing him. But there was an ounce of truth to her words. He could stop it all if he wanted to. He could pull the plug for both of them. And maybe he _should_. But he was _tired_ of being the bigger person.

Derek chuckled softly. The hand on her thigh running up to cup the curve of her ass, pulling her flush against his frame. The movement forced her to put her knees on the bed for balance, straddling him once more. “It's about 20 years too late for that, sweetheart, ” he answered honestly before laying back on the bed, taking Casey down with him. 

Her hair fell like a curtain around them. They stared at each other for what felt like forever before Casey made the move to close the space between them. She tasted like strawberry lemonade. Like summer. Like sunscreen on your skin and the feel of waves crashing against your toes. Casey felt like happiness to him. And it seemed like they both needed to roll around in it.  
  
Everything was slow and deep with them...It wasn’t their first time. They had done it all many, _many_ times before. But it felt different. But none of those college memories measured up to the real thing. Her body had changed through the years, especially after giving birth. Her hips widened. Her breast fuller. Her attitude was different too. In college, she was shy, more reserved. Still innocent in a few ways. But with him, in that bed, she was confident, sure of herself. Skilled. Once unleashed, Casey was a sexually empowered vixen, and he got to reap the benefits of what that meant.  
  
Although a lot had changed, she was still the same. Perfect in every way. 

They took their time reacquainting their bodies. They kissed for what felt like hours, like teenagers. Her tongue on his neck made him groan into her shoulder. Eventually, he pinned her down. Slowly he pushed the jersey off her body, only to find a pair of black boy shorts underneath. Those didn't last long on either. He marveled at her body and all the changes. He looked and touched and tasted as she wiggled under him, exploding in a symphony of sounds he wanted to add to his playlist. He wanted to relearn her like a language he once spoke. (It was all in the tongue, after all.)

Admiring her he thanked every star for the moment. He pressed a kiss to Casey's ankle, peppering kisses, and soft nibbles up the length of her entire leg because these legs, those toned dancer legs, deserved to be worshiped before anything else. That alone had her trembling and breathy as he approached the apex of her thighs. And just when she thought he’d give her the sweet relief she craved, he chuckled, dipping down to give her other leg the same treatment. She groaned frustrated but his words calmed her. “Patience, honey. I got you,” he promised, setting in between her legs, pressing a kiss to the inside of her trembling thigh. He pulled a leg onto his shoulder, getting himself comfortable before he pressed his mouth where she had wanted him most. She melted into the mattress releasing the happiest light sigh he had ever heard. 

“ _Brat_ ,” he chuckled against her skin.

The leg on his shoulder curled around his neck in response. But he didn't mind one bit. 

His palms glided over her skin softly. Caressing her in all the ways she deserved. Fingertips memorizing the stretch marks well enough to paint them later. He dragged it out real slow. His mouth, his lips, the very tip of his tongue taking her to the very edge, till she was a blubbering mess, whining and begging. And then he’d coax her back down slowly, pressing sloppy wet kisses to her tummy, teeth scraping her hip bone. He teased and edged her as if the past decade wasn't enough foreplay. And then, once she was calm again, and her eyebrows weren't pinched together in annoyance, he’d smirk and start again with the flat of his tongue soothing the way back up again. She mewled with needy little pants, chanting his name and he drank it in like she was vodka on ice. 

* * *

Although she let him have his fun with her, eventually, it was her turn. She stripped him down, unwrapped him like a Christmas present, removing layer after layer, relishing what laid underneath, giving every inch of newly revealed skin love and attention. She used her hands to touch, but she mostly used her mouth because she had been waiting for a taste for entirely too long. And the bastard likes to walk around shirtless, knowing what it did to her. So yeah, she took her time. Her tongue tracing divots of muscles, making him buck underneath her.   
  
And finally, when he was bare she openly stared, taking all of him in. 

“Your staring,” he pointed out.

“Shhh. Painting a mental picture,” she replied, dipping down to press a kiss on his hip bone. Derek groaned in response. She was too close to touching him. Really touching him. And then she did. Her small hand covering his velvety warm skin. He closed his eyes tight and Casey smirked knowing he was trying not to lose it so fast. Too bad. It was her turn to have some fun. 

* * *

Derek felt _precious_ under that stare. That wasn’t a word in his general vocabulary, but there wasn’t any other way around it. She looked at him like he was special. Like he meant something. With her hands on his skin, and her mouth _everywhere_... He couldn't think straight.

After what felt like hours of touching and kissing and exploring, they were both beyond ready for more. He positioned himself above her, giving her one last chance to call it off. She didn't. Instead, she hooked her legs up higher on his hips, giving him more room to work with.  
  
 _Fuck_.  
  
There was a sweet sort of release when their bodies finally connected. Derek moved slow, inch by inch of pure torture for both of them. By the time he bottomed out, he needed a second to regain composure. And that was fine because Casey had to get used to the feeling. But they got there eventually.  
  
She gave him a reassuring nod when she finally relaxed under the pressure. And ever so slowly he started to move. Just like that, all the gears clicked into place smoothly. There was this perfect rhythm to it. He wasn't sure where he ended and she began. Or who was moving... He just knew that they were rocking together slowly. One of her hands was intertwined with his, pressed up high above her head. She clung to him with her free hand, molding herself to him. He was trying to savor every ounce of the moment like it was the last. It was soft and sweet and tender. He was making love to her and he didn't even know it. They ebbed and flowed so well together. The waves of up and down bleed into each other so smoothly he had to believe it meant something. _Passionate_ was the word that came to mind as they fulfilled that craving they had been needing so badly. 

With every press of his hips, her breath escaped her, as if he was pressing the air straight out her lungs. She looked fucking _radiant_. Skin flushed and lips parted. Eyes peeking up at him from behind hooded lids. He bent down to kiss her. Soft, deep, and slow. Like he needed to breathe her in small doses or he’d combust. 

“Hold on for me,” he begged his words against her lips. Because he knew she was teetering on the edge. As if he hadn't made her fall apart of his finger and his tongue. As if she had been touched starved... and maybe she had been? Maybe they both were. Whatever it was, he felt her wall contract against him and he didn’t want it to be over soon after it started. It was the sweetest agony he could have imagined. But Casey couldn’t wait. He felt her flutter against him, her grip tight and undeniable. He hissed at the pressure, and then he gave in right after her. His mouth on her skin. His name on her lips  
  
Pure fucking bliss. It had never been like that with anyone else. Just her. A blessing and a curse. 

* * *

Casey had experienced sex with Derek multiple times throughout the years. And she had no complaints about any of it. He was her first after all.  
  
But time did a wonderful job of honing Derek skills. The way he rocked his hips against hers, the angles he used to press into her, the tantalizing speed the combination of his hands and his tongue against her body made her want to _worship_ him  
  
Derek had matured. And she loved it.  
  
Granted it was the first time she had been touched since Mike, but _still_. How was she _allowed_ to feel so good? The way her jaw hung slack, the choked moans getting caught in her throat as she tried her best to breathe through it all… It was entirely all too much while being not enough. She wanted to _drown_ in him.  
  
He answered every plea. He gave more when she asked for it. He even gave her what she didn't know she needed when the words slipped past her lips. “Der I-” she started. She...what?

“I know, honey,” he promised. And he did know. He knew _exactly_ what she needed.  
  
Gently he slipped out of her, only to be rewarded with a whine. But he said nothing simply flipping her on to her stomach, pulling her hips up to meet him. He pushed back into her again in a slow agonizing kind of way that made her fall face-first into the mattress. And then, as a cherry on top, she felt the solid mass of him bend down, his lip pulled into a smirk, press a kiss to her spine, chuckling like something was funny. The guttural moan that escaped her echoed against the empty bedroom walls. It was mouth-wateringly good. Her hands gripped the sheets just to ground herself to something. It felt like her entire body wanted to sing for him. She wanted him on her, _everywhere_.

* * *

By the end of it, Derek felt utterly and completely boneless. His body, normally so strong full of muscle he had spent years defining, suddenly soft and immobile. He was a marshmallow of a man but didn't have a single care. He was spent and blissed out and happy to just lay there. But Casey didn't get the same memo...  
  
He must have lost his touch. Or she was _starving_. Whatever the reason, she was _insatiable_. When he thought they were done, that he had _exhausted_ her… He thought wrong.

His eyes had closed on their own accord. He was completely emotionally and physically exhausted. But then he felt her soft hands rubbing up and down his chest slowly. Fingertips tracing the dips and curves of his muscles. He ignored it at first, till her fingers danced lower along his abdomen, dipping lower and lower with a clear destination in mind. His body started to stir for her attention. When he finally opened her eyes, she was looking at him, blue eyes hooded and hazy, swollen lips pushed out with a pout. There was such conviction in those eyes as if he wouldn't give her the world if he could. She wanted _more_. 

He wanted to laugh. He wanted to make a joke about it. But he didn't want to ruin the moment. It felt like a dream. One he had had too many times. The one where Casey wanted him too. Dreaming or not, he went with it. He reached a hand up, carding his fingers into her wild locks. “Go ahead,” he told her. His voice is thick and husky in the darkened room. “Take what you want, Princess,” he instructed her, licking his swollen lips. He ran his tongue over the swelling where her teeth had sunk into him earlier. She was the most delicious type of pain and he'd suffer it willingly. 

She giggled in response and took exactly that.  
  
He wasn't sure what he had done right in his life to deserve Casey's mouth on him. Maybe it was all the money he donated to charity. Maybe it was letting Casey go all those years ago. (Or maybe it was coming home?) Whatever it was, he was thanking his lucky stars because her wet mouth and soft tongue worked him into oblivion like he had first class seats and a one-way ticket. He couldn't keep his eyes open if he tried. And god did he try. She hummed against him, sending vibration up and into him as if he needed extra stimuli. The visual alone was something else and he wanted to memorize every part of it. But the feel of her would have to do. He just laid there, eyes heavy, taking whatever she gave. Trying to keep his breath even but they were coming out of him shallow and he didn't even care how pathetic he sounded. 

After she had her fun with him, she released him with an audible pop. He groaned, a deep and low rumble from his chest. Before he could even register what was happening, he felt the weight of her straddling him. Delicious thick thighs pressed against his hips. His hand floated up to curl around her ass and thighs needing something to grip. His thumb tracing the stretch marks his tongue had licked earlier. (He had made sure to honor _all_ the marks on her body.) 

And then she sank onto him. Inch by inch in a slow assault that took his breath away. His hissed at the slow torture she inflicted on him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she moaned fully seated. She arched her back, tilting her head back, her hair falling back like a curtain. She looked like an actual goddess and he had no right to even touch her.

Derek stood no chance against her. She was a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

* * *

Casey hadn’t dabbled in drugs. Not really. Only a few times during college, with Derek, surprise surprise. So being high wasn’t a feeling she was too familiar with, but the way she felt… the floaty feeling in her bones and the fuzzy contentment in her mind made her second guess if _Derek_ was a drug. She’d never tell him that. His ego might explode if she did. But she hadn’t been that relaxed and satisfied and well, _happy_ , in years.  
  
She knew it was just sex. But sex with Derek was truly something else.  
  
Her heavy eyes drifted shut, and the smile on her lips faded as she slipped straight into sleep because, _wow. That was a lot._

* * *

  
Derek wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to rip his body away from her warm soft one. She looked adorable all naked curled up against him under a blanket. He was beyond delighted and fulfilled. But he had to move. There was no choice in the matter. He had to get home at some point. And he wasn't looking to get caught by Luca sneaking out the morning after.  
  
As much as he wanted to let her rest, she was already home, after all, he knew he couldn’t leave her there. Not in his old room in the basement. Luca would surely freak out if he found her in there the next morning. And there wa no telling what time Casey’s exhausted body would wake.  
  
He had to get dressed first. It was the only way he’d be able to resist the temptation of slipping back into bed with her...Of waking her up with hands caressing her skin. Still, he thought about it. But no, she would probably be sore. And she was too spent to do any more. At least his ego hopped so...  
  
Casey didn't stir as he made his way around the room, collecting articles of clothing that she had thrown around like confetti earlier that evening. He was happy to see it, to know she was satisfied, even if it was just for the night.  
  
Once dressed, he decided to carry her into the den. There at least then, if Luca came home, it would appear she just fell asleep watching TV. “Come on, honey,” he nudged her, trying his best to get the blue jersey back onto her sleeping form. “I need you to work with me,” he mumbled. Somehow half-asleep Casey wiggled into the jersey. Pleased with the fact that she was at least a little covered up, he wrapped her up in the blanket again.  
  
Then he made the bed, covering up all their tracks. He felt like a spy tampering with evidence, trying to het away with it.   
  
Pleased with everything seeming normal, he made his way back to the couch to say goodbye. “G’night, honey,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead, pushing her hair away from her face.  
  
She mumbled back something incoherent, pulling the blanket tighter around her. Derek chuckled softly, taking that as goodnight.  
  
And then he slipped out the back door into the night like some sort of superhero. 

* * *

“Hey, Dad,” Sky started, eyeing him over her green smoothie the next morning.  
  
“Yeah?” he asked, looking over the menu debating between a stack of pancakes and french toast. He was starving. After the late-night he had with Casey, falling face-first into his bed at about 1 am, he didn't stop for food. And since he had an early morning for his breakfast date with Sky, he hadn't eaten in what felt like _forever_.  
  
“You do know _I’m_ the one who went out on a date last night, right?” Derek wasn’t the only one who had a late night. Sky had gone on her third date with Jamie. Derek thought things were getting pretty serious between them. But he wasn’t holding his breath either way.  
  
“Yes…“ he replied looking up from the menu to see his smirk painted across his daughter’s lips and it _terrified_ him. Sometimes she was a spitting image of him. But those times scared him. “ _Why_ ?” he asked cautiously.  
  
“Because somehow, _you’re_ the one sitting at breakfast with a hickey on your neck,” she replied sounding _very_ smug about it.  
  
Ice slipped down Derek’s spine and he stiffened. He licked his lips and tilted his head to the side. “Are you trying to imply that you _don’t_ have a hickey? Cause you forget that I went to high school. I’m well aware that concealers can cover up any mark that you might be trying to hide from dear old dad. But then again, I don’t want to know!” he rushed in to add that last part because he didn’t want to know! He closed his menu and set it on the table. Deflecting and claiming that his daughter may have a hickey was all sorts of wrong and he knew it. But it was all he could think of. He still refused to lie to her.  
  
“Dad,” she deadpanned, knowing _exactly_ what he was doing.  
  
“What?”  
  
She smiled so softly, so innocent and full of glee, it was adorable. “I wasn’t implying anything. I don’t have a hickey. Hidden under makeup or not. You seem to think that I’m anywhere near as cool as you used to be.”  
  
“No you're not,” he agreed. “You way cooler,” Derek winked, glad he managed to get them on a different topic. And at that moment he swore he had achieved his final dad evaluation.  
  
But his daughter was a clever girl. Sky rolled her eyes. “Nice try. But we're still going to talk about this,” she decided, taking a sip of her smoothie. “ _You_ have a hickey,” she reminded him, pointing at his neck. “I have never, _ever_ seen you with a hickey before. And I thought you were with Casey last night?” She was too god damn smug about the connection. Derek felt it in the air.  
  
“I... _was_ ,” he replied carefully. He hated lying to her. And the stupid honest rational side of him briefly mentioned that he’d be home late and that he _might_ stop by and see Casey. He said she needed his help with something, and technically, that was all true!  
  
“So… _Casey_ ,” Sky beamed like the cat who got the canary. Like it was the final piece of evidence she needed to close the case.  
  
“Now, why would you _assume_ it’s from Casey? I could have gone on a date you know!” he shrugged, offended by his daughter's lack of confidence in him.  
  
“Fine, fine. You'll tell me when you're ready!” she negotiated like a pro. But part of him didn't believe she'd actually drop it. Ethier, she was truly convinced it was Casey and didn't bother arguing.. or something else was up.  
  
“So, _Jamie_ ,” she started, with a softer smile Derek hadn't seen on his daughter in a long time.  
  
“So, Jamie?” he replied with the same smile, eager to hear about her date.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me all the things... Was it worth it?
> 
> Did you notices any parallels from his time with Monica vrs Casey?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come home and shout at me.  
> Come home and fight with me.  
> Come home and break my heart, if you must.  
> Just come home.  
> -The Cruel Prince, Holly Black
> 
> Playlist for this chapter:  
> Taylor Swift - Hoax  
> JP Saxe- A Little Bit Yours  
> Yes- I’m aware it’s only 2 songs. Put them on repeat. You'll feel it in your soul.
> 
> The one that cuts deep.

Casey woke up disoriented the next morning. Her sleepy eyes looked around her, slowly recognizing that she was… in the den. Why was she in the den? She was confused as she stretched and felt a vague soreness in her muscles. And then she rolled onto her side, pulling the blanket up around her. That's when she smelled it, _him_. Derek's warm scent wrapped her up into the sweetest embrace she could have asked for. She wasn't sure if it was his cologne, his deodorant, or a mix of both and with a dash of his sweat. But it was _delicious_. She couldn’t help herself when a stupid smile pulled across her swollen lips. She inhaled slowly as the memories came flooding back to her in the most perfect wave.

Flashes of sweet kisses and filthy sounds filling the room made her stomach tighten. It wasn't fair. _He_ wasn't fair...She had known Derek was good. But that… what they had done together? What he had done _to_ her….The noises he pulled from her? _Magic_. Pure ( ~~x rated~~ ) Disney magic. Maybe that's what happens to the princess after the credits rolled. Maybe Casey was one of the lucky ones...  
  
She spotted her phone on the coffee table, lit up and glowing with notifications. Her sleepy eyes adjusted to the bright screen, checking the time, half squinting to focus on the numbers. 6:47 am. It was still early, but considering she had spent all night on the couch, clearly she had been exhausted. She scanned her notifications, nothing from her son, but she wasn't surprised.  
  
Only one thing stood out. 

_Don't freak out. I moved you out to the den, just in case._ _  
__We're all good, so don't get all weird on me, Ok?_  
  


Casey smiled, reading and rereading the message. They were good. They would deal with it. And if it became a casual occurrence, that was fine by her. She could get used to that kind of treatment. Whatever had happened between them felt almost _therapeutic_. She felt lighter somehow...

She wrapped herself up in the blanket a bit tighter as she made her way up to bed with a silly smile on her lips.

* * *

It had been a few days since his night with Casey... They had barely spoken. But he was calm. Maybe because his time with Casey had felt a lot like clouser...maybe? Like something that had to happen for their chapter to finally close. Whatever happened afterward, they had completed their unfinished business. He was at peace with it. They were amazing together. They probably would always be.  
  
He hadn't heard much from Casey, but he figured in due time he would. He hoped that she wouldn't freak out and push him away. But there was no way of knowing, and deep down he knew he had to prepare himself for that possibility. He didn't want to push, he wanted to give her space to breathe, to sort out her feelings about everything that had happened. Because it was more than just sex...wasn’t it?  
 _  
__Coffee??_ Was all the text said from her a few days after.  
 **Coffee** , he replied.  
  
And although it was one simple word, he felt like they were good. Or he hoped so anyway.

* * *

  
Derek met up with Casey at a coffee shop they both loved. It was a small business owned by a cute queer couple who made the most delicious croissants in all of Canada. (The banana Nutella ones? How they manage to create such ooey-gooey goodness he would never understand.)

She was already there when he arrived, his coffee and croissant sitting across from her like an open invitation. She looked beautiful as usual. T-shirt and jeans but on her, they looked runway worthy. Would he ever get over it? Her pure unfiltered beauty? She was cute when they met. Pigtails and all. She was hot when they were together. But somewhere in between, she became this radiant woman and he had to constantly remind himself to look away from. The feeling only amplified the more she let him in. The fewer walls she threw up. That stupid heart of gold of hers was half the reason she was so stunning to him.  
  
“Am I late?” he asked, slipping into the seat across from her. He was a tiny bit nervous. Unsure of what version of her he'd get. The laid back vixen? The freaked out space case?  
  
Casey shook her head, her hair catching the rays of sun through the window, making her glow for half a second. Even mother nature was on her side, how was he ever supposed to resist?  
  
“No, I'm early. I was in the neighborhood,” she offered, shrugging like it was no big deal. But he was pretty sure that was a lie.  
  
“You ok?” he asked, wary. He thought they were ok after what had happened. But he couldn't read her. Her energy, her vibe was _everywhere_. She was bouncing her leg under the table, clearly a little jittery. How much coffee had she had?  
  
“Just a little nervous,” she admitted, nibbling on her bottom lip.  
  
He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and promise it would be alright, but they were in public and he wasn't sure where they stood with everything. He didn't want to make it any worse. He eyed her cautiously, taking a sip of his coffee, letting a beat sit between them.  
  
“Nervous?” he asked like he didn't understand the word. “What for?” he asked softly, putting the cup down between them. The thing was, he knew why. Deep down he knew what was about to happen. But he promised himself he'd handle it better the second time around.  
  
Casey just stared at blankly, because _duh_. He felt the coffee sink to the pit of his stomach. _Shit_.  
  
“ _Oh_ ,” he replied. “I thought we were good?” he offered, avoiding the nausea rolling through him. He sounded pathetic, even to himself. The hope he had felt the day before suddenly deflated. He eyed his croissant. The perfect mix of buttery chocolate goodness that no longer looked appealing. It was heartbreaking on so many levels.  
  
“We are!” she promised quickly sensing his tone. She reached across the table, her warmer and softer hand landing on his. The touch was just as reassuring as her words. “I just...I guess I just feel a little _guilty_ ?” She frowned looking away from him as a blush colored her cheeks.  
  
Derek was confused. So...they were good? There were entirely too many emotions bouncing off of Casey to keep up with. “Guilty? About what?” As soon as the words left his mouth he knew the answer. _Mike_. of course. He should have known better. _Fuck_.  
  
Casey sighed, pulling away from him and settling back into her seat. “Cause I know, that...what happened,” she licked her lips slowly like he needed a reminder of the way her lips felt on his skin.“ _That’s_ why you moved out in the first place, right? Cause that's what you were avoiding? And then we…” she trailed off, looking away from him and out the window like something out there was truly fascinating. She let out a small groan of frustration before turning back to look at him. “Well, you know what we did. So I guess I still have a problem giving you space,” she finished.  
  
She looked uncomfortable or maybe she was embarrassed? Clearly, she was nervous and on edge. He knew that what happened between them would bring up all sorts of emotions for her. And he understood that. But he wished he could calm her somehow. Let her know that everything was fine and they would figure it out.  
  
But at the end of the day, she had to work through her feelings first.  
  
“Case, it's fine,” he promised. There was no reason for her to feel guilty about that. Not by his account anyway. “It takes two, sweetheart,” he reminded her. He was there. He had made the decision as well. He let her into his space as she did him. And it was fucking perfect. Well, he thought so anyway. But maybe she was regretting it.  
  
“I just want you to know that it wasn’t one-sided, ok? It wasn’t me clinging to you because you were _there_ and willing. It was because it was _you_. It's always been you. And I have always gotten lost in everything about you,” she murmured that last part softly mostly under her breath, but he caught it.  
  
 _Fuck_. Was that an arrow through his chest? It was nice to hear those words on her lips. He wasn’t just a body. It meant something to her too. He leaned forward reaching for her free hand on the table, holding it between his. His thumb stroking her skin is calming sweeps.  
  
“I know, honey. I moved out because It was getting hard again. It was getting hard to see you... to be near you, and _not_ touch you. It was hard not to pull you into my arms every time you cried... It’s fucking hard seeing the women I love mourn. You get that, right?” Derek asked, letting out a shaky breath that turns into a chuckle. His life was so fucked up. And yeah maybe he just put all his cards on the table for her. But what was the point of lying anymore?  
  
Casey gave him the smallest hint of a smile as his words registered. “I know. I get it now. Trust me, I do.” She sucked in a breath, closing her eyes tight for a second. The hand he was holding squeezed him back. “And, just like _you_ needed space, I did too. I just didn’t know it at the time. I thought space was the last thing I needed. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. Because I was in a dark place. But I guess I needed to hit rock bottom. Without Mike. Without _you_. Just me, alone, with myself…” She nodded to herself as if to encourage herself to keep going. Keep talking. She opened her eyes to look at him again. They were a little glossy, but she blinked those tears back. “You know I started therapy after you left. Literally the next day,” she chuckled darkly. “Because I knew I had a lot I needed to work on. And I knew that I had to be a better Casey before I could even _try_ to be a better mom, sister, aunt... or _more_ ,” she shrugged.  
  
“ _More_?” Derek asked, perking up. He liked the idea of more, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it meant coming from her.  
  
Casey nodded, shifting in her seat again. She didn’t want to get into what more could mean. Not yet anyway. First, she had more to share before they could even get to that point. “Listen, I have to tell you something,” she started, her front teeth sinking into her bottom lip nervously.  
  
“Okay?” he asked slowly, unsure of what he was getting himself into. 

* * *

Casey sucked in a big breath, readying herself. Maybe she needed a shot? She wasn't sure why she was so worried about telling him the news. “I’m... selling the house,” she finally admitted with a wobbly smile. 

“ _What_?” His voice was so leveled, no emotion behind the one word, or painted on his face. It was like he hadn't even heard her. 

She nodded slowly. “Surprise!” she smiled weakly up at him.

Derek shook his head. The words must have slowly sunk in. “No... No way,” he decided after a few seconds. “You're just fucking with me. Luca would never, _ever_ let you do that,” Derek argued, falling back into his seat pulling away from her. 

That stung a bit. But she didn't give him the best reaction when he told her he was moving so she wouldn't hold it against him. “Well, yeah, he doesn't _love_ the idea. But he’s ok with it because when we sell, I’ll buy him a car. A used one, but I’ll let him pick, so...” she shrugged, feeling uncomfortable under Derek’s gaze.

“Shit,” Derek cursed after a while. His eyes still locked onto hers like he was looking for a trick. “Are you serious?” he asked one last time, squinting as if it would help him see better. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m selling the house. And I wanted you to be the first to know. Because I don't want you thinking it's because you left or because I'm angry, ok? I’m selling it because it just makes sense.” It was the _only_ thing that made sense. And she wasn't sure why it had taken her so long to see it. Well, Derek may have been part of the reason. And with him gone, it just became so much clearer to her. 

She leaned in, her elbows on the table trying to get closer to him. “Me and Luca, we don't need all that space. And the money could help with his college fund. And I know a big happy family can fill those walls _way_ better than we can,” she explained all the basic logistical reasons to him. And then there were the emotional reasons… those were harder to get into. She licked her lips looking down at his forgotten bakery good sadly. He hadn't touched it.  
  
“It took a while to wrap my head around it because there is an attachment to Mike there, right? But I finally came to terms with the fact that selling the house doesn't suddenly erase Mike. It's not a betrayal, because Mike’s not a house. Mike was my husband for 15 years. And I have mourned him. And I will probably mourn him for the rest of my life because he was important to me...” She trailed off, her eyes flicking up to meet his. Those golden eyes were pouring into her. _Magic_ , she thought again.  
  
“But I can’t live in the memories anymore.” The memories were haunting her. Giving her nightmares. And she knew that those bad dreams could still come, wherever she went. But she had to at least try.  
  
“Not my memories with him. And not my memories with _you_ either.” She knew she really shouldn't have said that last part. But Derek haunted her just as well. His old room... His scent on the living room pillows... She thought she was going crazy at first, till she realized her mind was making it up because she missed him.  
  
Derek looked confused. And she couldn't blame him. It was a lot to take in. “Wait...what? What do you mean by memories of _me_?” he asked his eyebrows knitted together.  
  
Casey shook her head. She didn't want to go into that with him. Not yet. That wasn't the point. “Memories. They’re everywhere,” she shrugged casually, not really explaining it. “So, I started cleaning. Preparing to pack.”  
  
Derek looked like his head was actually spinning, trying to keep up with everything she was saying. There was just so much to unpack. “Of course you did,” he murmured. But he didn't sound like he was there. Like his mind was elsewhere, still processing the bomb she had dropped on him. But was it actually shocking news? Why would Derek care about her house anyway?  
  


“And,” she went on, “while cleaning, I found something that belongs to _you_.” She pulled out an old tattered notebook from her purse, placing it on the table between them like a peace offering. 

Derek had very little things at Casey's house when they moved in. And he made sure to pack everything back up again when they left that summer. So he had no idea what she was talking about. Still, he eyed the book on the table.  
  
“It's not even my birthday,” he offered. It sounded like he was _trying_ to tease her and be light-hearted. But it was obvious his heart wasn't in it.  
  
Casey felt bad for the data dump. But it would soon be over. He would know everything. And she would finally feel free. “Consider it an early present,” she tried.

“Okay…” he trailed off. “So, you gonna hand it over?” he asked, his eyes drifting back to the notebook sitting under Casey's protective palms.

* * *

Casey looked down at it, then back at Derek before speaking again. “At 16, I didn't understand my feelings towards my _obnoxious_ stepbrother. I just knew that it was new and exciting but wrong and forbidden,” she stopped, half smiling. The memories of their teenage fights filled his mind. They were good at the pent up sexual frustration. It was real, even then.  
  
“At 18 years I was lost and confused but having fun. And for the first time in my life, I was letting go. But I was an idiot,” she frowned, looking down at her hands again. She was quiet for a while before she took a deep breath. Their college years were a combination of the best and worst times. The highest highs and the lowest lows.  
  
“And at 37 I was a hot mess, drowning, depressed and codependent. I didn’t deserve you...” she admitted.  
  
He knew she was a mess. Anyone who had lost a partner would be. He understood that and he didn't care. He was there because she asked him to be, and that's all he needed to know. His daughter gave him the ok. And Casey let him in... mentally and physically. So of course he was there. It was so simple to him.

But then he realized what she had said… 37 year old Casey. But she wasn’t 37 anymore, her birthday just having passed. She was 38. What did 38 year old Casey feel about him?  
  
“Okay...” he trailed off because he felt like he had to say something, to let her know he was listening. The wheels were all spinning, but he hasn't quite gotten to the point of her words just yet. 

“You were… _are_ , amazing Derek. Always have been. And I didn’t realize it back then. I was too scared about breaking the rules and what mom and George would think. And what it would do to your career.” Derek felt those emotions bubble up. Those feelings of rejection hurt. Feelings he had done his best to forget. 

“I let my head get in the way of my heart. I think about it all the time…. How different life would be if I would have just said yes to you all those years ago,” she said, giving him a sad smile. Derek also thought about that a lot. But there were too many possibilities. He'd drive himself crazy with what-ifs if he let himself. At the end of the day, that's not what happened.

“I don't regret it. I can't. Because I loved him. I _still_ love him. And then there's Luca. And Sky. So I don't regret it. I can't. Things happened the way they were supposed to in the end.”   
  
She explained her actions like he'd judge her for it. But he never would. He couldn't picture a world without Sky or Luca. He’d take the heartbreak of Casey McDonald 10 times over for those two.

Her eyes flicked back up to his. “I was a mess when you left. Mike… he _knew_ Derek. He knew without me having to tell him. He just knew you were _important_ to me. He never asked any questions. He never made me feel weird about it either. I think a part of him was scared to hear about it...He let me mourn you the same way you let me mourn him,'' she laughed, putting the puzzle piece together. “Funny how that worked out, huh?“ she chuckled.  
  
“He was a good man,” Derek chimed in.  
  
Casey nodded.“And then after Mike… God, I was so selfish. My world was torn apart and I needed my anchor back. My best friend. So I asked you to come. And you actually did.” Finally, she stopped long enough to brush the tears off her face.

Derek felt like he needed to soften the moment. “Well, technically, that was all Sky,” he offered with a small smile,.

Casey just shook her head, a smile tipping at the corner of her mouth. “It doesn't matter. You came. And you moved in, even after everything we went through together. You came back to me. You helped in ways you can't even imagine that past year,” she admitted. “Anyway, the point is...you missed a lot while you were gone. This is me giving you a sliver of those years back,” she smiled, pushing the notebook closer to him.  
  
With that, she got up, wrapped around the table, and pressed a kiss to his hair. 

* * *

She wrote him letters. Well, sort of. They were more of diary entries, like the ones he used to sneak into her room and read. She'd write to him every time she needed him. Every time she missed him. Every time he played a game she wanted to congratulate him.  
  
When she said she was giving him those years back, she wasn’t kidding. She gave him back a decade.

Once he realized what she had given him, he took his coffee and croissant to go. He knew he needed to be comfortable and in his own space to properly digest it all. So he went home and sat in his recliner and read every single entry…  
  
It took hours. It was safe to say he didn't sleep at all that night. Her words echoing in his mind the second he closed his eyes. So instead of sleep, he read and reread every page all over again. It was a punch in the gut every time. He probably could spend months reading all of it. Dissecting her thoughts and all the years he missed. The dates she wrote. His birthday. The day that ended his career. The day she found out she was pregnant. _Everything_. 

Things between them had gotten better by the time Sky and Luca came around. But they were still not quite the same. So she kept writing then too, just a lot less.

She said she mourned the loss of him. She was serious. All five stages of grief were painted with her words. She spilled her soul in that notebook and he was just finding out about it. 

**Denial**.  
  
 _Dear Diary….or Derek?_ _  
__  
__I’m only writing this because you're not talking to me right now._ _  
__  
__I guess I always knew it would end like this...in flames and anger._ _  
__It’ll blow over soon enough. It always does._  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__You're still not talking to me and now it's just annoying. Answer your phone, you idiot._ _  
__Ps. Happy 21st._ _  
  
_

The first couple of entries were a pure annoyance, and Casey waited for Derek to get over it. But as time went on, her tone shifted.  
  


 **Anger**.  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__It's been months. Actual months. How long are you going to hold this stupid grudge for?_ _  
__Be like Elsa and let it go, Venturi!!_  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__We’re graduating. GRADUATING! Can you just talk to me already? You know you want to_ !  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__Did you leave the country? Without saying a single word to me? I refuse to believe you’d stoop that low. And for what???_

There were quite a few more angry entries. Her annoyance bled into frustration. But that didn’t give her any results. So she switched tactics. **  
****  
****Bargaining**.  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__I’m sorry. I've already texted and left you voicemails. I don't know if you're reading them or if you've blocked me but I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt myself either in case you were wondering. I just…_ _  
__  
__What the hell is going on here? We don't do this._ You _don't do this. Talk to me, please._ _  
__  
_But that one didn’t last very long. It quickly got dark from there... _  
__  
_**Depression**.

 _Dear Derek…_ _  
__  
The words aren't coming out when I try to explain it. Not when I try to use my tongue and lips to form sentences. It's like my body can’t properly function. It's so much easier to write it down. Like when the words are just for me, I can sorta make sense of it? But not much._

 _Because nothing really makes sense right now. Because you left. You got drafted and you actually… left. Without saying goodbye. And I know you were mad, but I just never thought… No matter how bad it got between us…. I just didn’t think you could leave that way. Like we were nothing to each other?_ _  
_

_Derek,_

_He's worried about me. Because of you. Because everything in the world revolves around you.  
  
_ _Dear Derek,  
  
_ _I hate you. I know I've said that 100 times since we've known each other. But I never truly meant it. This time I swear I do. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you so bad it hurts. So bad it stings and my eyes are permanently bloodshot and raw. I hate you more than I could ever imagine hating you. I can't believe you did this to me._ _  
__  
__Derek,_ _  
__  
__“Just don't come crawling back when it doesn't pan out.” Those were the last words you said to me. I’m not crawling Derek. I'm not even moving if it makes you feel any better._

The next entry had a plane ticket taped to the top of it. An Air Canada flight, Tronto to Florida, but that made no sense...

 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__He broke up with me because of you. Yet another man left me because of how I feel about you. I’m starting to lose count now. I wonder how many there will be in my lifetime. I feel so detached from everything. Numb almost. Like nothing makes sense anymore. Because you're not here. And I’m not there. And nothing even matters…_ _  
__  
__The entire family is in Florida for your first NHL game... except me. Mike got me a flight. He told me to follow my heart. I almost got on that flight today. I went all the way to the airport. I sat at the terminal. But I couldn't get up. And when they did last call I cried like a baby till they called security on me._

 _I hate you for doing this to me. For making me so weak. So pathetic. You’d love this, wouldn't you?_  
  
That particular entry destroyed him. If he had known how she was feeling, if he had reached out, if she had gotten on the flight, everything, the entire trajectory of his life would have been different. He didn't know any of that. Of course, he didn't know. Mike… Mike went to bat for him. For Casey’s happiness. If Derek wasn't sure about Mike before he was at that moment 1000% sure Mike was a better man. He deserved Casey.

 _Derek,_ _  
__  
He didn't leave. Not really. Not the way you left._ _  
_

 _I think he knows I can't handle any more loss. And I know that is not healthy. But I'm not healthy right now._ _  
__  
__I'm drowning._  
 _  
Derek,_

 _I know you’re mad at me. And you have every right to be. I was stupid. So stupid. But I would give anything to have you here, fighting with me, yelling at me, insulting me, if that meant you were_ here _. But you’re not. You’re a million miles away and you're ignoring me._

_Is this what hell feels like?_

He never thought that his silence could hurt her. He never thought he was important enough to have that effect on her. He had never been so wrong in his life.  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__This isn’t fair to him, and I know it. I don't know where we stand but he's still around because he's worried about me._

 _He holds me when I cry. Brushes the hair out of my face and makes sure I eat. And I swear his arms numb me from the pain, at least a little while. I know he will get sick of me and leave one day. They always do. But for now, I'll take what I can get._ _  
__  
__I'm the worst human being. I deserve this pain._

_Der,_

_I think I left part of me back in New York._

Attached was the Madison Square Garden hockey tickets to when they watched the Rangers play. Underneath was a polaroid of them, at the top of the Empire State Building kissing like tourists in love.  
  
New York was the highest high of their time together. He tried his best to forget it, but the entry brought all those feelings back. He couldn't ignore it. He too had left a part of himself in New York.  
  
Derek felt nauseous seeing the evidence of that trip. The memories come up too quickly for his liking. All those repressed memories greeting him like an old friend. It was too much. He had to take a break after that one...

And then came the final step of grieving.  
  
 **Acceptance**.  
  
 _Derek,  
  
_ _Against all odds, against everything that went on this last year, I've fallen in love with him. He pulled me out of the darkest days of my life. The days you weren't around for. And it feels like I'm betraying you somehow by allowing myself to smile… To be happy again? But it's true. How can I not love him? He’s practically a saint. He has to be after what he’s done during all of this._ _  
__  
__The worst part about it is that I think you’d really like him… if you ever gave him a chance._  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__Mike pointed out that I’ve stopped crying. I hadn't even noticed. I guess time does heal all wounds. Mom said you're doing well, adjusting, and all that. I still miss you, and then I feel guilty for not feeling sad anymore. But it's probably for the best. I need to let you go eventually, right?_

_D,_

_I use to believe in the one. One perfect match._

_But I don't anymore. Because you were one of my soulmates. And now I know he's another._

The next entry came with a ticket tapped to the top. Scotiabank Arena Toronto Maple Leafs vs Tampa Bay Lightning. Derek had no idea she had gone to see him play. Not then anyway. But knowing that she was there watching him, filled him with something he didn't know he needed.  
  
 _Der,_ _  
  
__You'll never know I was there. But I think I healed a piece of my heart today. Seeing you on the ice, it would have never worked. I could never compete with your first love._ _  
__  
__You were amazing tonight._  
 _  
__Derek,_ _  
__  
__He proposed to me today. And it was beautiful and romantic. Straight out of a fairytale. I love him, and I want to marry him. I do._ _  
__  
__But I just don’t think I’ll ever love anyone as much as I love(d) you. Sometimes I look back at our time together and question if any of it was real... Or if you were just some figment of my imagination that I made up. You know I read too much, I romanticize things that probably mean nothing._ _  
__  
__But then I watch your game on TV, and the camera zooms into your face and your smile, and it feels like a fist reached into my chest just to squeeze my heart, and I know in my soul that whatever we were, it was real._ _  
__  
__I wish I could have told you that. I wish you got to know the truth._ _  
_  
Jesus Christ. His own heart was breaking just by reading her words. She was poetic and romantic. But he felt her pain to the tips of his toes and he didn’t realize, there was no way he could have known.  
  
He remembered the bile in his throat when he found out about the engagement. He wasn't surprised but it still hurt. _Stung_. He thought they would eventually get their shit together in the future. But marriage? That was legit. Binding. A forever kind of thing, at least he knew that for Casey it was. So he drank himself stupid and blacked out. The next morning he woke up in a married couple’s bed. After that, he decided that maybe he needed to take it easy for a little while...

 _D,_ _  
  
__I said yes to the dress. I have no idea if you'll get to see me in it. You haven't RSVP'd yet. But mom says you’ll come. I hope so._  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__It's been a while since I’ve written. Wedding plans are a lot of work. And I think a part of me has almost gotten used to the idea that you're gone..._ _  
_  
_But I saw you today. I mean, I figured I would. But it was the first first time in forever. So I froze like an idiot. Because what else was I supposed to do? Mike walked over and rubbed my back and helped me calm down. He knew seeing you would trigger me. He was ready for it. He’s an angel, Derek I swear it. I don't deserve that man. I never will. He understands when I don't even get it. He’s told me a million times that we can call it all off. And it just makes me love him more. That he could be so selfless. That he could be so willing to step aside for me._ _  
__  
__I saw you two talking at some point. I held my breath the entire time. I just wasn’t sure how you’d react to him. But then I saw you, your hands on his shoulders, giving him some sort of pep talk and I swear a crack in my heart mended._ _  
__  
__I’m almost whole again. Almost._ _  
__  
__Thank you, Der. For coming. For trying. For being there._ _  
__I missed you._

Derek remembered that day. She looked stunning. Their reunion was awkward, as expected. He gave her a stiff congratulations. She attempted small talk but eventually, Marti saved him. It was hard to pretend with her. He was a terrible actor.  
  
 _Der,_  
 _  
__Part of me thought you’d stop the wedding. But I should have known better. You’re not 16 anymore. You’re a grown man. Whoever you end up marrying, I hope she knows what she’s got._  
  
 _Shit. Shit shit shit_. Derek wasn’t sure if he could do it if he could read all of the entries. Because it was getting to him. The woman he almost married would have been the absolute wrong woman. He was so thankful that Monica had denied his proposal. So happy with the way things turned out. Even after reliving it all through her notes. He’d take that pain any day.  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__I miss you. Not in a romantic way. In a platonic way. I miss my best friend._ _  
_  
_Dear Derek,_

_I think I'm pregnant. And I don't know how to feel about it. I thought I had more time, you know? I'm so young. If you were here I’d show up at your place, completely freaked out. And you'd know exactly how to calm me down because you’ve done it so many times..._

_But you're not here. So I've got to go do it alone. No point telling Mike till I know, right?_

_Derek,_ _  
  
__It's a boy. I'm having a little boy._  
  
 _Der,_

 _We named him Luca. I hope you'll meet him soon._ _  
__He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I swear it._  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__Marti tells me you're in a relationship. With a model, of course. She's gorgeous. I hope it lasts. (But a blonde Derek, really?)_ _  
_  
_Derek,_ _  
__  
__You're a dad now. A dad! I'm having trouble processing it. But I saw a picture of the three of you. It looks like an ad for diapers or something. Picture perfect. I’m so happy for you Der. I hope it's everything and more. Being a parent changes you. It’s changed me._ _  
__  
__Der,_

 _You won a Stanley cup. The one thing you’ve wanted all your life. And you did it tonight. I cried watching you. I'll probably cry for days. I'm so proud of you._ _  
__  
_Attached was a picture of her wearing a Kings Jersey, celebrating with Mike and baby Luca. She didn't fly out to that game with the rest of the family. Luca had gotten sick, so they didn't want to risk it. But she still cheered him on from home... _  
_  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__I lost another baby. Another one. It’s like I'm being punished for something. Maybe it's because of what I did to you. I don't know. But do you think that two is enough? I don't think I could go through this a third time. I'm trying not to let it get bad again. I have a son to take care of. I can't fall apart. But it hurts like a knife in my heart._

 _Der,_ _  
__  
__California’s too far away. I'm glad you let us come, but...I can’t help but want to be in her life. Even if I don't deserve it._ _  
__  
__You’re amazing with her. I have to admit I'm impressed._  
  
Attached was a picture of Casey holding baby Sky. He had seen it many times before. But knowing she kept the picture and added it to the book meant more to him for some reason.  
  
 _Derek,_ _  
__  
__You got hurt tonight. I'm pretty sure my entire neighborhood heard the scream that ripped out of my chest when I saw it. No one knows anything except the fact that you're stable and in the hospital._ _  
__  
__Please be ok. You have to be._ _  
__  
_The handwriting on that one was bad like her hand had been shaking...

The next entry wasn't for years after the fact. She must have stopped writing after his injury. Maybe not seeing him on TV helped keep the memory of him at bay. Maybe she had gotten too busy with her life. Whatever it was, he just didn’t expect the next entry to be just more heartbreaking than his career ending injury... _  
__  
__D,_ _  
__  
__He's… gone. Not like you're gone. He's gone- gone. Forever._ _  
__Things went dark again. I see myself slipping.  
  
_ At 4 am Derek finally reached the last few pages. One was from that past summer when he moved out.  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__I know it's unfair to wish you were here. I know it's wrong, unhealthy even to beg you to stay. But I already tried that, didn't I? I understand why you want to leave. I just don't know if I have the strength to do this again... without him. Without you._  
  
The final entry was dated only a day ago. When she found the book again?  
  
 _Dear Derek,_ _  
__  
__You left again. And my heart broke, again.  
_ _But I promise I put it back together this time._ _  
_

* * *

_  
_Derek knew he should have warned Casey before just showing up at her door the following weekend. But he assumed she’d be home on a Saturday morning. And he couldn't bring himself to send a text. He needed to _see_ her after digesting everything she had given him. They were good. She was moving. And life without him had been hard for her. Harder than he ever could have imagined. 

“Hey,” he smiled when she opened up the door.  
  
She wasn't expecting him or any company based on the way she was dressed. She wore an old ripped band tee Derek was pretty sure was his once upon a time ago, paired with biker shorts the clung to her figure. Her hair was up in the messiest of buns, frizz and stray strands pulled out in every direction. Her cheeks were flushed pink too. Either she was working out or in the middle of some heavy manual labor.  
  
“Is this a bad time?” He frowned, taking her appearance in.

“Hey!” she replied, smiling up at him. She seemed so much calmer than she had been the last time. “Sorry, I'm just in the zone. Come in,” she prompted him, stepping aside to let him in.  
  
The house was in chaos. Truly. Boxes _everywhere_ , half filled with all kinds of stuff. He peeked into one box that looked like it was full of dish rags? He wasn't sure. “You weren't kidding about moving out, huh?” he asked peeking into different boxes like he'd find some sort of explanation in them.  
  
But the answer has been in that book she had given him. Everything he needed to know was in there. Well, _almost_ everything.  
  
“Not at all,” she smirked, maneuvering her way around the landmine of boxes that lead to the kitchen. Before he knew it she was taking out two glasses filling them with ice.   
  
“Lu home?” He asked, gently moving a box off one of the barstools, taking a seat. It looked like her kitchen had thrown up. But he was sure there was a method to her madness.

“Nope. His girlfriend had a volleyball game. It's the only way to get him up early on a weekend,” Casey beamed, sounding proud. She placed a glass of lemonade on the counter in front of Derek.   
  
Derek pulled the glass closer to him but didn't take a sip. He looked at the counter then back at her. She had gulped down half of her drink. She was nervous. Not as bad as last time, but still.  
  
Derek smirked, enjoying having the upper hand in the situation. He hardly ever did with her. “What are you doing tonight?” he asked casually.  
  
Casey frowned. Clearly, she didn't see that coming. And that was understandable given the circumstance. “More of this. Why? Want to help. I could always use the muscle,” she smiled.  
  
Derek drank his fill of her. She was a mess. Sweaty and gross, she must have been packing for hours. But to him she was perfect. “Come here,” he promoted her, with a tilt of his head. Because he needed to be close to her.  
  
“What are you up to?” she asked, wrapping around the counter to stand in front of him.  
  
Derek rolled his eyes, pulling her into the space between his spread knees. Given the height of the barstool and Casey's height, they were almost at eye level. “Go on a date with me,” he finally said when he had her attention.  
  
Casey eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What?” she asked as if she hadn't heard him.  
  
Derek's hands curled around her waist and squeezed. “Come on. Me and you. A date. A _real_ date. Not the fake bullshit excuse I used in college. I'm asking you out on a proper date, McDonald. What do you think?” he asked, licking his dry lips. He had never asked her out before. Not formally anyway. He knew a million excuses were on the tip of her tongue and he was ready for each one. But nothing came out.  
  
He watched her dig her teeth digging into her bottom lip, worrying herself about his question. “Are you sure?” she asked her voice much softer like she was worried he’d take it back. Like it was a joke or something.  
  
“Dead serious.”  
  
“Did you read it?” she asked, softer. Her eyes fluttered closed like she couldn't face him. Couldn't face the truth in his eyes.  
  
“Every word,” he promised gently. He could probably recite some of the sentences back to her. He had even traced the teardrop stain on the first few pages. And then the little bits of added evidence...The plane ticket. The picture of them in New york. It all destroyed him piece by piece.

Explaining his mood to Sky had been something else. She kept prodding, knowing something was up with him. So he looked up at her, his eyes bloodshot, and said, “Kiddo, I tell you everything. But let me have this one, for now, alright?” he begged. Surprisingly, Sky accepted his words easily, having never heard those words from him. But still, she was worried.  
  
“I don’t think I ever stopped loving you Der,” Casey whispered into the space between them, her eyes opening up to look at him with clear eyes. The last time he was there she said that she had loved him since she was 16... But somehow, knowing everything he had read on those pages, it meant more. He knew deep in his bones that no matter the pain they caused each other, they had always loved each other to some deep fundamental level that no one would ever understand. Their bond, what they went through, what they put each other through... no one could ever understand the depths of it.  
  
His heart fucking fluttered in his chest at her admission as if he wasn’t already well aware of the fact. “I know honey,” he replied and this time, he meant it. He knew deep within himself that she loved him, just as much as he loved her. A fact he had doubted most of his life. He always thought he was the one pinning after her. He had never been so happy to be so wrong.  
  
“And you're not the only one,” he added, taking her hands into his because she had to know he felt the same. Always had. Always would. “So just say yes. Let me do this right for the first time in our lives,” he begged, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. His heart dangling in her hands for the second time in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh baby this one was hard to write. All that emotion? Casey's monologues? And the flashbacks of her years without him? It was hard. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but you needed to feel the impact of Casey’s letters, her past, her truth. And I didn’t want to dive right into their relationship just yet. Which diary entry hurt you the most???
> 
> Caseys notes were inspired by a few things:  
> To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before: LJ writing her letters not to give away but for herself.  
> The Cruel Prince by Holly Black: Specifically the quote at the top of the chapter, Cardan’s letters to Jude.  
> Hoax by Taylor Swift: The entire song- and obviously the line about New York.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The domestic fluff you deserve. No plot. No real drama. Just Dasey goodness you deserve.
> 
> Best read with a snack, maybe some wine? This one is a journey
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> The one with all the fluff.

Casey was nervous. Going on a first date with a cute guy you like (love) kind of nervous. She hadn't felt those kinds of nerves in over a decade. She took a shower the second Derek was out the door, hoping to scrub the layer of sweat off her body. Then she had to pick an outfit. She hadn't bothered to care enough for the few dates she had been on after Mike. But for Derek, she did. She settled on a cute burgundy dress she used to love but stopped having a reason to wear. She thought of Mike for a second as she touched the material. She smiled up at her angel. She wondered if he was around. If he would approve…  
  
Shaking the thought away, she finally got dressed and did her hair and makeup. She was fixing her lipstick in the entryway mirror when Luca spotted her.  
  
“ _Woah_ ,” he said, stopping dead in his tracks towards the kitchen. He eyed his mother carefully, taking in her hair, makeup, and outfit. “Is it a parent-teacher night?” he asked, clearly concerned, his eyebrows knitting together. He looked so much like his father when he got like that. 

Casey frowned. The visual and the implication being a little _too_ sad for the night's mood. Was that the vibe she was giving off? Parent-teacher night _chic_? Because that was not the goal. She wanted to feel young and beautiful and desirable again. “What? No.”  
  
Luca narrowed his eyes on her. “I don't mean it like that. You look... _pretty_ ,” he said almost as if it were a question instead of a statement.

Casey crossed her arms over her chest. “Is that a compliment?” she asked, unsure. 

“Yeah,” he replied softly. “Is it a girl’s night or something?” Luca asked, clearly looking for the real reason she was all dressed up. 

“Something like that,” Casey smiled gently, heavy on the _or something._ “I'll be home a little later, alright?” she promised, pulling her son into her arms. He was officially taller than her which was something she still had to get used to.

“Have fun,” he murmured back, tightening an arm around his mom.  
  


* * *

Derek _wanted_ to get Casey some flowers and ring her doorbell like a proper gentleman would. He was never really a gentleman, so it would be his first time. But he wanted to try for her. He wanted it to be legit and romantic and everything it _should_ have been the first time around...Second chances were rare and all. But she had warned him that Luca was home and told him to just wait for her in the car. 

He was pretty disappointed about it, but who was he to fight it. He played it safe and got her a single white daisy. Casey smiled seeing the dainty little thing between his pinched fingers when she slid into the passenger side seat of the car. She took it like it from him, smiling like it meant the world. 

They didn't talk about it but he was pretty sure it... _they_ were a secret. He wasn't willing to tell Sky about it, not yet anyway. And he figured it was the same for her and Luca, given the cryptic text. And although the goal was to _not_ be a secret this time around, he knew they had to ease into it. They had kids who had become their top priority. 

Casey picked the restaurant. She had decided if Derek was going to magically drop the date on her with only a few hour’s notice, she should be the one to decide where they went. Derek thought that was fair enough. Granted he'd go to a drive-through if it meant spending time with her. She picked a cute little Japanese restaurant she loved.  
  
He blatantly stared at her from across the small table at dinner. The cute burgundy wrap dress she had on complimented her eyes and her figure. He was completely enamored by her entire being, not knowing what part of her to fixate on next.  
  
“Der, you’re staring,” she smiled, taking a sip of her white wine to cover up the blush filling her cheeks. But he could still see it, even in the dim candlelit restaurant. She was radiant. 

Derek shrugged. Not an ounce of embarrassment on him. Anyone in the restaurant would take one look at him and know he was the luckiest bastard there. “I’ve wanted this for so long...I don’t think I know how to do it,” he admitted from across the table. Blunt and honest. That's how they were doing it this time around, he decided.  
  
Casey chuckled wholeheartedly. She must have agreed. “Me too. It still doesn't feel… _real_ , does it?“ she asked softly, her teeth nibbling on the corner of her mouth.  
  
Derek reached out across the table, covering her hand with his. “We’ll figure it out tho, right?” he asked, hopeful. He couldn't do it alone. They had to be on the same page. Communication and all that. 

“Yeah. I think so,” she replied, her voice full of promise. He couldn't help but believe her.

“ _Well_ ,” he breathed, sitting up a little straighter. “Before anything happens, I'd like to propose a toast,” Derek started a hint of mischief in his eyes.

Casey raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing something in the air between them. “A little early, but I’ll take it. What are we toasting to?” she asked, lifting her glass anyway. 

“To Michael Seater,” Derek said, lifting his glass.

Casey's eyes went soft and her bottom lip a bit wobbly. But still, she held her glass, wordlessly.

“He knew and didn’t judge. He always wanted the best for you, and I’ll forever respect him for that. Kinda sad I didn't get to tell him myself, but I will one day,” Derek vowed. 

“To _Mikey_ ,” Casey smiled clinking her glass against his before taking a sip. He saw the tears swell at the corner of her eyes, and watched as one slipped down her cheek. He knew mentioning Mike would trigger her. He didn't want to make her cry, but it was important to Derek that they acknowledged Mike. Because Mike played a huge role in Casey and Derek’s relationship, whether they liked it or not.

“Do you remember the thing Luca said about Mike not taking me to hockey games?” Casey asked him after a beat. Her sad eyes trained on the table, fascinated by it.  
  
Derek nodded, not daring to use a word, not wanting to cut her concentration.  
  
“It _was_ a joke. Mike didn't even _like_ hockey. Luca got into it because I watched all of _your_ games. _All_ of them. Religiously,” she chuckled, sounding almost embarrassed by the admission. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “And eventually Luca joined me. But he was young and he didn't realize _why_ I was watching. And so when he got older, by the time you were officially retired, and he wanted to go to games... I just couldn't take him. Hockey...hockey _belonged_ to you, somehow. So Mike would take him. And he would joke about it because he didn’t want Luca to know.” She brushed a tear out of her eye. She looked down at her fingertips like she was surprised to see them come away wet.

“You picked a good one, Case,” he admitted. After her terrible dating history, Mike was definitely at the top. 

Her eyes finally found him again. “I am sorry, Der. For everything.” He knew that in those few words she was apologizing for years of hurt between them. Mend what was broken before they tried again.

Derek nodded. “Me too. But, now I know everything…” he trailed off remembering that notebook she filled with her pain. “We both fucked up. But we're figuring it out now and that's what matters,” he promised. 

* * *

The drive back home was quiet. But a comfortable kind of quiet. A peaceful kind. The radio played softly in the background, perfect background noise. Casey was curled up in the passenger side seat, her feet tucked in under her, her heels sitting on the floor. But her left hand was wrapped around Derek’s. Casey's thumb stroked his hand gently, back and forth. It was a kind of simple intimacy he didn't realize he was starved for. Or maybe it was just Casey that did it for him...  
  
“Hey Der,” she started, her voice soft. She must have been exhausted after all the packing she had been doing earlier. And then her even more so eventful evening.   
  
“Hmm?” he asked, peeking at her from the corner of his eye. She was the cutest thing, curled up in her seat looking up at him with those pretty blue eyes shimmering against the glow of the city. He was tempted to take a picture.  
  
“Thank you.”

“For?” he asked, confused.  
  
“Reminding me it could feel like this,” she told him, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.  
  
“Oh yeah. And what _exactly_ does it feel like?” he asked, pulling up to a red light, allowing himself a few seconds of her. He was teasing, aching to hear that she was just as giddy as he was

“Like falling in love all over again,” she answered honestly looking up at him. Even in the darkness of the car with only the street lights illuminating her, he saw her.  
  
Derek sucked in a breath. He wasn't expecting that, but he’d take it. He pulled their clasped hands to his mouth, pressing his lips to her knuckles. “Sweetheart, I’m just getting started,” he promised.  
  


* * *

Their first date was a success, and their second date was on the books for the following weekend. But then, unexpectedly on Friday morning, an opening came up. Sky was having a sleepover that Derek had _completely_ forgotten about. So after she left for school that morning, Derek slipped his phone out of his pocket and sent a text. 

**Wanna come over tonight? My parents aren't home tonight. I can sneak you in...**

_You’re not funny._

**What do you expect? Dad jokes for days, McDonald!**

_I can see that...At least you’re a hot dad. A_ very _hot one..._

**I always knew you only wanted me for my body.**

_Oops. You caught me._

* * *

Casey came over that night with two bags full of groceries. She said she was cooking and she wasn’t kidding. She refused to leave it up to chance to see if Derek had the ingredients she needed.   
  
Watching her move around his kitchen, knife in hand; cutting, slicing, and dicing was _mesmerizing_. He could watch her all day if she’d let him. But she had put him to work as well. 

“Der,” she called, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Garlic,” she reminded her sous chef as she let the onion simmer on the fire.

Derek, ever the listener, stepped up behind her, pressing his chest to her back slowly not to scare her. He presented the little bowl of chopped garlic to her as a present.

“Thanks,” she murmured, tossing it into her sizzling pan without a thought. The smells wafting into the air were heavenly. He had craved Casey's cooking since the day they had moved out.  
  
Derek placed his empty hands on her hips. He used the tip of his nose to draw a line down her neck and back up again. She was so incredibly sexy and bossy...he wanted nothing more than to sit her up on the kitchen island and just devour her instead. But he would be patient and help her cook, or _whatever_ it was she wanted. He could be good.

“ _Der_ ,” she groaned complaining, but her body shivered against his touch. “I'm _trying_ to cook you a nice dinner,” she argued when his hand found themselves sliding under her shirt. Fingers drifting across the smooth skin of her tummy, slowly moving up, up, and up.

“I'm not stopping you,” he explained, pressing his mouth to the sweet spot below her ear. 

Casey hissed at the contact. “You're the _worst_ ,” she whined letting her head fall onto his shoulder pressing her body closer to his. And then her fingers reached over to flick the stove off, cutting the fire completely. Cooking no longer on the agenda for the evening. 

“Pizza?” Derek chuckled, as she turned in his arms. She was beautiful.  
  
(And finally, she was his again.) 

“Pizza,” she replied, slipping two hands into his hair, pressing his head down to meet her lips in a burning kiss.  
  
(But really, he was _hers_. )

* * *

Sex and pizza were the best combinations. Undefeated as far as Derek knew. And seeing Casey naked with only his sheet across her body...Hearing her moan into a box of her favorite pizza...Yeah, Derek was in heaven.  
  
“Why is this _so_ good?” she asked, holding up the slice of pizza as it offended her somehow. She looked cute like that, blissed-out, flushed, her hair a rat’s nest due to the friction against the sheets and his fingers.

“Because you just had _two_ mind-blowing orgasms and need fuel?” Derek offered, taking another bite. He wasn't sure if it was because it was his bed, or because this time it meant something more, but he swore it was even better than the last... and the night was still young. He was sure he could work a couple more “oh my god!”s out of her.

Casey rolled onto her back, holding the sheets to her breast as if modesty were an issue. “This is fun,” she smiled up at him. It was a genuine kind of smile that he had missed seeing painted across those lips. 

Derek leaned in to kiss her, simply because he _could_. She tasted of sauce and garlic but he’d eat her right up. “Good,” he whispered against her lips. Staring into her eyes and seeing the happiness behind them. “You need some fun in your life, McDonald…” he trailed off pulling away. “ Almost as much as you need a little _me_ in you, ” he smirked.  
  
“Der-ek!” she giggled, replacing the pizza with something equally mouth-watering. ****

* * *

They hid it from the kids for a while. Or tried to anyway. They nearly got caught a dozen times they were sneaking around and booking hotel rooms. They went to dinner out of town and on a bunch of long drives. They felt like teenagers. Granted, teenagers with money. But still. It was kind of fun, they had to admit. To be in their own little bubble. No one else. No opinions. No criticism. Just them...

“I thought...we had… _oh godddd_ ,” Casey moaned, closing her eyes tight to focus on her thoughts. “Dinner reservation!” she finally finished, opening her eyes to stare at Derek. She was so pleased to have been able to form a simple sentence while she was up against him in all the delicious kinds of ways she enjoyed it. It was hard to think straight sometimes. Oh, the honeymoon phase. It was pure magic. 

Derek pulled his mouth away from Casey’s skin and stared down at her with his golden eye filled with lust and sin. Casey felt herself melt under his stare, her will faltering _fast_. Derek licked his lips slowly and Casey's foggy _hormonal_ brain traced the move with laser focus precision.  
  
“Do you _want_ to go to dinner?” he asked. She knew his words were innocent enough, but the tone, the huskiness in his voice that vibrated against her made the sentence sound like absolute _filth_. Derek Venturi was her favorite kind of dirty.  
  
She exhaled, closing her eyes. Breaking the connection between them for a second before she whined a little. She was pathetic. Completely and utterly smitten by him. Fifteen-year-old Casey wanted to have a heart attack.   
  
“ _No_ ,” she finally admitted defeat. God, they were like animals in heat when they got each other alone. Granted they had a lot to catch up on but still...

Derek had her up and off the floor, moving towards the hotel bed before she managed to open her eyes again. 

To his defense, he was trying his best to _date_ her. She knew that. But sneaking around meant limited time together and when they were alone… other things seemed a bit more pressing than deep conversations over pasta. Like his mouth on her neck while his fingers undressed her against the hotel room door. And really, she couldn't blame him.

* * *

“Sky-ler!” Derek called, adding an extra bit of obnoxiousness into his voice as he stepped out of his bedroom. He was dressed for the night, looking relatively nice for his usual standard. Jeans and a shirt. Ironed and everything! (He had learned the ways of adulting. It only took him a couple of years.)

He heard some muffles from Sky’s bedroom in response. He followed the noise and peeked his head inside her open bedroom door. There she was, his brilliant daughter. She had a screwdriver in her mouth as her fingers expertly toyed with some piece of electrical machinery as if she were performing surgery. Was that a robot arm? He wasn't entirely sure. He just really hoped she was careful with all that electrical work… But then again, _she_ was the genius of the family. 

Her room was a mess, Casey would have a field day. But Derek didn’t mind one bit. He understood there was a method to her madness. The calm within the chaos. Sky’s six-string guitar laid on her bed with music paper next to it. (Her newest endeavor.) Her desk was cluttered with semantics and tools as she tinkered, consulting with the diagram she had pulled on the computer monitor. The sounds of punk rock filled the room in the background... Was that Linkin Park? She was truly something else. 

Derek crossed his arms over his chest, taking it all in. He was so incredibly proud of his daughter. All her hobbies and interests. Her drive and pure intelligence. He may have messed up a million times, but somehow with her, he had done something right. 

“Dad?” she asked, concerned, popping the screwdriver out of her mouth to speak.

“Hey,” he replied with an easy smile on his lips. It was easy to smile around his kid. “I'm headed out, alright?”

Sky eyed him up and down, not missing a single detail. His black jeans, blue button-down, and a vintage leather jacket. Her eyes found his again and a question twinkled behind her glasses. “Yet _another_ date?” she asked dryly, crossing her arms over her head. “This is getting serious dad.”

“Oh come on. I know you're not jealous. We just went out yesterday,” he teased his daughter.  
  
“Are you going to tell me who she is?” Sky asked, not falling for his bait. But he knew that his daughter knew _exactly_ who it was.  
  
Derek sighed. It was that question again. The one he still avoided. “Not yet,” he replied.  
  
“I don't like this. She's a bad influence on you. You _used_ to tell me everything,” Sky pouted, still trying to get her way.  
  
“If only you knew,” he smirked, pulling his daughter into a hug. Casey was the second best thing that had ever happened to him. “You'll meet her...Just as soon as I know she won’t go running when she meets you!” he offered. It was more that he wanted to stay in the bubble with Casey more than anything. And ok. Maybe he was a _little_ scared of Luca’s reaction and things ending again because of it...  
  
“You make it sound like she hasn't met me yet,” Sky countered, with a knowing glint in her eye.  
  
Derek just smiled, shaking his head. “Goodnight sweetie.”  
  
Sky just sighed. “Fine,” she said, turning back to her robot. “Have fun dad,” she murmured.  
  
He couldn't tell if she meant it or not.  
  


* * *

Casey was shoveling oatmeal into her mouth that morning. She was running late, having overslept Sleep wasn't something she is getting much of anymore. Between late nights with Derek, and texting him when they weren't together, she felt like a goddamn teenager.  
  
“You alright mom?” Luca asked, sounding amused as he ate his cereal across the counter from her calmly.  
  
“ _Fine_ ,” she mumbled, trying to chew with her mouth closed. Being around Derek so much had her manners taking a back seat.  
  
Luca eyed her for a second, mischief dancing behind his eyes. “Mom, you know you don't have to keep sneaking around, right?” he offered with a knowing grin.  
  
“Wh-what?” she stammered.  
  
“I know you're dating again. You don't have to hide it.”  
  
“...You do?” she asked, weakly putting her bowl down. She felt weak, she wasn't ready for that conversation.  
  
“Yeah. I'm ok with it. It was going to happen eventually. You’re young. I don't expect you to be widowers forever,” Luca shrugged.  
  
“ _Oh_ ,” she deadpanned, unsure how to take the new information.  
  
“Just...be careful, ok?” Luca asked, softly getting up ready to go.  
  
“Yeah. Of course baby.” she smiled at her son.

* * *

It had been five whole days since Derek had seen Casey. _Five_. And that was entirely too much. First, She was slammed at work. Then a team begged him to fly out to consult. He owed this coach a favor, so he went. But it was finally date night and he was picking Casey up. She had her sights on some Tapas restaurant she demanded they go to. (“No funny business!” she demanded, excited about the food, and banning sex. Or at least _delaying_ it.) And although he was aching to touch her, he just wanted to see her. He’d easily sit through dinner across from her if that meant setting eyes on his girl. 

Derek was in his head when he walked into Casey's house. She hadn't sold it yet and had given him his old key back so he could come in whenever. But the second Derek opened the front door, he was greeted by the sight of Luca sitting at the foot of the stairs waiting for him.  
  
“Luca...your _home_ ,” Derek hesitated. Hand still on the front door. He had been caught. He knew there was no way around it. Luca already knew.  
  
“We should talk,” Luca replied dryly, standing to his 5' 11 height.  
  
“ _Shit_ ,” Derek sighed, looking up the stairs where he knew Casey was still getting dressed blissfully unaware of the situation below. “Alright,” he nodded, closing the door behind him softly. “Come on, let's talk outside.” he pointed towards the back of the house.  
  
The pair went out into the backyard. Derek saw the glittering stars peek out against the dark night. A beautiful night for things just blew up in his face, it seemed.  
  
“You love her,” Luca started, plainly. No beating around the bush.  
  
Derek turned to the boy, trying his best to read him. But the armor was solid, he had no idea how the conversation would go. “Is that a question, or...?” Derek trailed off with a hint of a smile.  
  
“Derek,” Luca replied. The boy looked so much older at that moment. Protective of his mother. Derek respected it.  
  
Derek nodded. “Yeah. I do. I’ve loved her since I was your age.” Derek stuffed his hands into his pocket. The brutal honesty made him a little uncomfortable. “Look…” Derek sighed. “I get it, ok. It's _weird_. It's probably not what you wanted to hear. But I need you to try for a second to put yourself in my shoes. Imagine being in love with someone since you were 16. Imagine loving someone for over twenty years. And then...getting a chance.” He felt like he _needed_ Luca to understand to get any glimmer of hope for them. If Luca didn’t like it, there was a very good chance Casey would call it off. He'd understand, but fuck that would hurt.  
  
“When dad came into her life...did you step aside cause you thought he was the better man?” Luca asked. A hopeful tone in his voice.  
  
Derek knew exactly what Luca wanted to hear, but he couldn't give that to the kid. He couldn't lie. “I wish I could tell you that was the reason...I wish I could make myself look like the good guy. But I'm not the hero in this story Lu. I stepped aside cause Casey picked him. She picked him over me. And I don't know how much you know but that…that's what happened. So, I left, like a wounded fucking puppy,” Derek admitted.  
  
Luca was quiet for a bit, taking in Derek's answer. “She's the strongest woman I know. She doesn't need you. She probably didn't even need dad if I’m being honest.”

Derek wanted to laugh. Because Casey thought she was weak. At least she did in those entries in the notebook. But she wasn't. She was strong. And her son knew it.  
  
“No, she didn't. She still doesn't,” Derek smiled, proudly.  
  
“This is going to be weird for me, for a long time. You get that, right? And it has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with my dad,” Luca explained, running a hand through his hair.  
  
“That's fine, Lu,” Derek replied softly. But he was surprised to hear it. There were at least a few reasons why Luca should have a problem with Derek of all people dating his mom.  
  
“Don’t… Don’t tell her I was here. Not yet. I don't want to ruin date night,” Luca shrugged with a half-smile. “But if you hurt her...” Luca threatened with an icy glare.  
  
“I know,” Derek replied seriously. Because he did know.

* * *

With Luca knowing the truth, it only felt right that Derek shared it with his daughter. Or well, _confirm_ it, since she had known the entire time.  
  
Derek knocked on her bedroom door. He was way more nervous than he expected himself to be. “Hey, kiddo. My uh… my _date_ is here,” he admitted running a hand through his hair. “Do you want to meet her?” he asked cautiously.  
  
Sky eyed her dad, with playfulness in her eyes. “Oh, I _finally_ got to meet her?”  
  
“Yes or no Sky?” Derek asked jingling his keys in his hand like he was in a rush to get the hell out of there.  
  
Sky gave her dad a heavy, dramatic sigh before getting up. “Dad, if Casey isn't standing in our living room, I'm going to be _very_ upset,” she admitted, before taking a step.  
  
Derek stared at his daughter with a blank expression, milking it for all it was worth. “Is that a risk you're willing to take?” he offered.

* * *

Casey felt like she was meeting her boyfriend's parents. Except it was worse. She was meeting his kid...officially. She was anxious sitting in the living room as Derek went to get her. The minutes went on forever as she bounced her leg. What if Sky wasn’t cool with it?  
  
Finally, Sky walked out of her room and into the living room. Casey didn't let the smile on the teenager's face register before she started speaking.  
  
“Hi! You must be Skylar. I've heard so much about you!” Casey started, pretending to be new.  
  
“All lies, I swear,” Sky’s face positively beamed in delight. She was obviously pleased with the reveal.  
  
Casey pulled her into a bear hug as soon as she was close enough. She pressed kisses into Sky’s hair as her eyes filled with tears. The moment meant too much to her.  
  
“You ok with this?” Casey whispered into Sky’s ear.  
  
“Totally,” Sky promised.  
  
Eventually, Casey let Sky go and met Derek at the door.

“Have him home before midnight!” Sky called out to the parents as they made their way out.

“You got it, boss,” Casey replied with a fake salute.  
  
“I hate you both!” Derek replied, ushering Casey out with a stupid smile on his face. 

* * *

  
“Hot date tonight?” Luca asked, seeing his mother applying makeup at her vanity.  
  
Casey put down her brush, turning to look at her son. “Yeah,” she admitted. “You sure you're cool with knowing about this?” she cringed.  
  
“Yeah, I'm good. Just _uh_... tell Derek he owes me hockey tickets,” Luca smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
Casey sucked in a breath. “ _Derek_ ?” she asked.  
  
Derek had mentioned talking with Luca but refused to tell Casey what it was about. He told her she had to talk to Luca herself, something she hadn’t been mentally prepared to do. She had an idea that her son knew but still, it was shocking to hear.  
  
“ _Derek_ ,” Luca confirmed.  
  
“So, you know,” Casey said softly, feeling defeated.  
  
“I’ve known for a while mom,” Luca admitted.  
  
Casey let out a breath. “Im sorry honey… It-” she had no idea what she was going to say. How she'd explain it to him. But he cut her off letting her off the hook.  
  
“You don't have to say anything. I get it, ok. Just give me some time to get used to it,” he bargained.

“Of course,” she promised. 

* * *

Luca and Sky sat in Casey’s car, parked at the mall parking lot, pigging out on burgers and shakes.  
  
“So, if they get married...” Sky started before taking another bite of her burger.  
  
“Don't say it,” Luca groaned, mid-chew. His mother would be appalled and he knew it.  
  
Sky rolled her eyes, swallowing. “Then you'd be my,... BIG STEPBROTHER COUSIN!!”  
  
Luca glared at her like he wanted to throttle her because he did, especially for the Frankenstein of a name, she conjured up for him. But then, his annoyance shifted. He got serious and remained uncharacteristically quiet.  
  
“Lu, I was kidding. Don't get mad. If I can't joke about our insane family with you, who can I talk to?”  
  
Luca put his burger down, cleaning his finger off slowly. “My uh… my mom lost two pregnancies when I was little,” he admitted softly.  
  
“ _What_?”  
  
“They never actually told me. But...I heard her crying in dad's arms, about how unfair it was. Losing two babies. Two angels, or whatever,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don't know much about it. But I was supposed to have siblings…” he trailed off, not looking at her. “I’m… I’m not gonna call you my sister or anything. But you’re my… _uh_. My family. My blood, ok?” he asked, looking up at her. His eyes were a bit teary.  
  
“Ok,” she replied softly, nodding. Even though they didn't share a drop of the same DNA. “Family,” she agreed. “You’re Lu. I’m Sky. She’s Casey...”  
  
“And he's Derek,” Luca completed the sentence for her.  
  
“We don't need labels. Just… promise you won’t try to pull the big brother shit on me, alright?” Sky cringed.  
  
Luca scoffed like he was insulted she would even ask such a thing. “God no! Never. That backfired with our parents.”  
  
“So...What happens if they have a baby?” Sky asked, a little weary.  
  
Luca gagged in response.  
  


* * *

“So,” Casey started, looking up at Derek from her wine glass. Casey had made dinner for her boys. The first dinner Derek was officially invited to. Sky, even the socialite, had plans and couldn't make it. “The kids _officially_ know,” Casey smiled. The weight of what that meant off their shoulders.  
  
“Finally,” he sighed. It was a weight on his shoulder. To not worry about Luca’s reaction anymore. To not hide it from his daughter. Sneaking around was fun, but they were finally _completely_ free. Free to be in each other's homes _whenever_. Domestic bliss.  
  
Derek was ready for it. Starting with splitting chores 50/50, even if they didn't live together. That night, Casey had graciously cooked dinner. So, Derek was cleaning up the aftermath.  
  
“How do you feel about that?” she asked, cautiously.  
  
“Amazing,” he replied. “You know… you raised an amazing kid, Case.” He had to admit, Luca handling things the way he did...it was exceptional.  
  
Casey's lips tipped up in a smile. ”Do you know _why_ he’s such a pain in the ass and gets on my last nerve sometimes?”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because I accidentally raised him after the first man I loved,” she admitted, eyeing Derek.  
  
Derek turned to look at her from across the kitchen. The admission warming something inside of him. “You _wanted_ a mini-me?” he asked softly, trying to tease her but missing the mark completely by sounding entirely too soft about it.  
  
Casey chuckled in response, taking another sip of her wine. “ _Want_ is a strong word. Maybe I just encouraged him, subconsciously!” she offered, still smiling.

Derek walked over to the table, tilting Casey’s chin up with his fingertips. His eyes flicked behind her, making sure the coast was clear before pressing a sweet kiss to her lips. “I don't believe you for a second, but ill take it," he promised. " _But_ , if we're sharing secrets, you should know that my brainiac of a kid is that way she is, largely because of _you."_  
  
“Me?” she asked, sounding doubtful.  
  
“Well, yeah," he shrugged, going back to the dishes. "I was reading her books the day she was born. I gave her the opportunity to do _everything,_ to see what she liked. Math. Science. Arts. Music. Dance. Karate. _Everything_..." he trailed off, thinking of all the classes Sky had taken over the years. "To no one's surprise, she liked it all," he chuckled.  
  
Casey was quiet for a minute. So quiet Derek had to turn to look back at her. “We’re something else, huh?” she replied softly, meeting his eye.  
  
Derek understood what she meant. Subconsciously, or maybe purposely, they had raised their children to be mirror images of each other. Or a better version. Whatever. The point was they both did it. “But I mean, if you want a mini-me...we should start practicing," Derek smirked, easing the tension in the air. "For science, you know?” he winked.  
  
“I mean… we _do_ owe it to science,” she smiled back. 

* * *

After the kids knew Derek and Casey... It was a fair game. Whoever asked, was told. There was no denial. No beating around the bush. The only thing, the _only_ asterisk in the air was the lack of PDA between the two. They had decided it was best for the kids, and to be respectful towards Luca. They slowly eased into it.  
  
“So, you and Casey are dating again?” George asked Derek after one family dinner at the Venturi-Mcdonald household one evening. Derek wasn't sure what had tipped his father off, but it didn't matter.  
  
“ _Again_ ?” Derek asked, teasing his father.  
  
George simply looked at his son with a blank expression, no humor in his features at all.  
  
Derek coughed, understanding how serious his father was being. “Uh, yeah. We are,” Derek confirmed with a nod. He didn't expect his family to oppose. Plus, those weren't the opinions that mattered anymore, so he was too worried about their reaction.  
  
“ _Good_ ,” was all George said, patting his son on the shoulder. “About time someone makes an honest man out of you, son,” George winked.

Derek tried his best not to be offended. 

* * *

Even though they still lived separately, Derek liked to drive the four of them around whenever possible, like to family dinners and such. Meaning that afterward, he would be the one to drop Casey and Luca off at their new apartment. It wasn’t too far from Derek's place, so it wasn't a chore or anything.

Sky yawned, repositioning herself in the back seat of her dad's SUV when she noticed her dad holding Casey's hand over the center console. It was such a simple gesture, innocent almost, but it was one of the most romantic ones she had seen from the pair.  
  
She smiled, nudging Luca with her elbow, trying to be discrete and not have her dad notice her in the rearview mirror.  
  
Luca caught her eye and saw what she was pointing out. He rolled his eyes and fake puked in response. But deep down Sky knew that he didn't mind. He liked seeing his mom happy the same way Sky felt about her dad. It was a nice change of peace.  
  


* * *

The holidays came and went. They exchanged sweet gifts and kissed at midnight. And things just felt... _normal_. For the first time in a long time. And Derek hoped he'd never get tired of the normalcy.  
  
But of course, when you get comfortable, that's when life throws a curveball…  
  
Derek was high on morphine. He felt nothing, almost completely numb and it was _glorious_ since he had been in a constant state of pain for the last 48 hours. So when he heard that too familiar voice, he wasn't sure if he was imagining it...  
  
“What did you do?” Casey asked, storming into his hospital room. She was mad. _Big mad._ He wasn’t talking his way out of that one.  
  
Instead of answering her, he turned towards his daughter who had taken up the spot next to his hospital bed. “You told her?” Derek glared at his daughter who had just gotten them (him) in a shit load of trouble and she didn't even know it yet.  
  
Sky grimaced, maybe she was putting the piece together with the look painted across Casey's face. The pure lighting in those blue eyes could power up an entire city. “I _had_ to!” Sky defended herself. “She might _actually_ kill us both if I didn't,” Sky argued.

(The kid had a point. But still!)  
  
“What is going on?” Casey asked, glaring at Derek even though he was the one in a hospital bed.  
  
“Nothing!” he replied. “Go away,” he groaned, shutting his eyes because there was just no way he was dealing with the wrath of Casey after he was finally starting to feel a bit better. “Why would you do this to me? What have I done wrong that you felt the need to punish me? Why did you stick Casey Mcdonald on me?” he mumbled incoherently at his daughter.  
  
“So you're _not_ going to tell me?” Casey asked, still fuming.  
  
Derek peeked up at her from his blanket, not saying a word. No, he wasn't going to tell her. He didn't want to.

“ _Fine_ ,” she shrugged, waltzing out of the room like a woman on a mission.

* * *

Casey was a little _too_ smug when she returned to Derek’s room 10 minutes later. 

“What did _you_ do?” Derek asked, worried about the answer. 

“Oh nothing, _hubby_ ,” she beamed. “The doctor will be in to see you soon,” she shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

“ _Hubby_?” Sky asked, confused, looking between the pair. 

Casey simply wiggled her left hand with a smirk. 

“You didn't!” Derek gasped, mostly impressed by her scheme. Casey still wore her wedding band on her right hand out of honor for Mike. But to get answers about Derek's condition she switched the ring to her left hand to sell the whole wife thing. It must have worked too judging by the pleased look on her face.

“Oh, I did.”

“Wait till Luca hears about this!” Sky grinned, picking up her phone. 

“Don't you dare,” Casey said in a flat tone, eyeing the teenager.

Sky sighed, dropping her phone back into her lap. She looked between the parents, scowling. She understood the warning clear as day. “You two suck!” she reminded the parents.

* * *

Ten minutes later the doctor showed up, with not so great news. “Alright, Mr.Venturi. Your x-rays are in. You have been overdoing it big time haven't you?” The doctor asked, looking up Derek from the files in his hands.

“Maybe it's the running with the hockey team,” Sky offered the doctor before her father got a word in. “Or the surfing and hiking? Maybe all of the above?”   
  
Casey gulped thinking about a few more activities Derek enjoyed that probably didn't help his knee. 

The doctor chuckled like it was funny. “Yeah, that will do it. You need surgery Derek,” he casually said like it was no big deal.

Drake's head popped up from the pillow. His eyes all side in fear and confusion. wasn't expecting the news. “What? No way. I had a few more years,” he argued. 

“Yeah, well you haven't been taking it easy.”

“Surgery?” Casey whispered in shock mostly to herself. She wasn't expecting it either. She was hoping it was nothing. But she knew better than that. 

“Yeah. So here's what we're gonna do. We'll keep you on morphine and monitor the swelling and the fever. Once you feel good enough, well send you home on bed rest. We'll set up an appointment with the surgeon to talk dates. Okay?” The doctor offered like there was any other option. 

“Alright,” Derek replied, looking just as numb as Casey felt. 

“Alright. Let the morphine and antibiotics kick in. I'll check back in with you in a few hours.” And with that, the doctor was gone. 

“Kiddo,” Derek started, turning to his daughter. “Take a lap, ok? Caseys gonna go she-hulk on me. I don't want you to see her like that,” he murmured, his face a blank canvas. He was still processing, but he needed Sky out. 

Sky looked between them again, her lip between her teeth in worry. “Alright,” she finally said, slowly getting out of her chair, and slipping out the door with a more parting glance she closed the door behind her.

Casey took a few calming breaths. “Were you _ever_ going to tell me?” she asked, trying her best to keep the venom out of her voice. Because she was furious at him. And she hadn't been that mad at him in a very long time. It almost felt foreign and wrong. 

“Of course I was,” he replied honestly. It wasn't like he could avoid the subject. He'd be going in for surgery after all. 

“ _When_?”  
  
“When I got home,” Derek offered weakly, trying to smile to soften the blow. But it didn't work.  
  
“How long has it been hurting?” she asked, trying to get all the details that he had been hiding from her.  
  
“It _always_ hurts,” he shrugged.  
  
“Derek,” she said his name in that tone that sent a shiver down his spine.  
  
“About two weeks. But it got really bad in the last few days. I've been on bed rest for 2 days straight. Then I got a fever so… here we are,“ he told her, giving up the rest of the information.

Casey closed her eyes shut, trying to shield her frustration from him. “You told me you were busy,” she reasoned, wishing that were true.

“I know. I didn't want you to worry,” he explained, groaning. “But I'm in retrospect, I know that lying to you doesn't do us any good. I just…” he trailed off sighing. “I’m still learning how to tell you everything.”

“Derek-”

“It's fine, Case,” he cut her off this time. His patience is no longer a thing.

“ _No_ , it's not. I don't care that you lied to me. I care because the man I love has been in pain and I didnt know about it. You are important to me, do you get that? I _have_ to know things like this, ok? Remember I lost my husband. I don’t have the fondest memories of hospitals. So me running down here and finding you like this…” she trailed off, her eyes filling with tears she tried her best to suck back because he didn't need to see her like that. Not again. He had seen her cry too many times. She had to suck it up.

“Shit,” he cursed to himself. “Honey, I'm sorry,” he cringed offering his hand. He didn't even think about it. “Come here. Please. I can't reach you,” he offered his hand wiggling his fingers in her direction.

Rolling her eyes, Casey reluctantly made her way over to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed and hand curling into his effortlessly. A couple of tears escaped her, trailing down her flushed cheeks. Derek caught them with his free hand.   
  
“I've been so good,” she told him, her voice breaking. “So strong. Back to normal,” she swore, looking at him in the eyes. “But this… _Derek_.” she broke off, sniffling 

“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up. I didn't think. You have to understand, I didn't think it was this bad. I can usually sleep it off. You've seen me do it,” he explained to his girlfriend.

She nodded slowly, her tears subsiding. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss it all better. But he couldn't.

“Hey,” he offered, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “If I get surgery...I'm going to need a nurse. A hot nurse to give me sponge baths and jello,” he teased trying to get her to laugh.  
  
Casey made a face in realization. “Oh god. You're going to be _such_ a baby after,” she realized.   
  
Derek just grinned in response.

* * *

Sky was getting used to Casey being around the apartment. But Casey never slept over. Sky wasn’t sure if it was a rule between the parents or something. She might as well with the amount of time she was spending there taking care of a recovering Derek. She hadn’t left Derek’s side since the surgery, taking some days off work. Not that Sky minded, she was very glad to not be on dad duty.  
  
Casey made sure he took his meds and ate and was comfortable. Derek just soaked up all the attention. Sky didn't mention it but she knew her dad was milking it for all it was worth. And truthfully, Casey probably knew it too. But it was nice seeing her dad be taken care of and loved by someone other than herself. 

* * *

When Derek was mostly healed they went out to dinner to celebrate.  
  
Casey and Derek were having dinner at some fancy restaurant. It was a client from one of Derek's clients and Casey was enjoying the fine dining. The food just melted in her mouth.  
  
Derek’s phone buzzed on the table. They had kids so phones were always on, Casey didn't bat an eye. Till she saw the frown tug on the corner of Derek’s mouth.  
  
“Everything ok?” she asked before digging into her potatoes.  
  
“Yeah, it's fine,” he replied, putting his phone down “Monica’s in town,” Derek said, cutting into his medium-rare steak.  
  
Casey stiffened across from him. _Monica_. The name made her want to scream. Why was Monica texting Derek? Casey wasn’t used to feeling so possessive. She had felt so secure where they were. Derek showered her with love and attention and she did the same. But the mention of that woman’s name shook her foundation.  
  
Derek just shook his head. “She wants to see Sky,” he clarified for Casey’s benefit. He must have seen the look on her face.  
  
“And _you_ ,” Casey added. She couldn’t help but say it. She didn't want to pick a fight. But Monica triggered something primal in her.  
  
“Oh, she _always_ wants to see me,” Derek smirked. “Is that jealousy I smell, McDonald?”  
  
She knew he was teasing. But he was right. She was jealous. Monica got something Casey never got to have with Derek. The happiest years of his life. Hockey and Sky. And she was a royal bitch. So there’s that. “Jealousy? No. It's just a simple fact that last time she was in town you slept with her,” Casey countered defensively.  
  
Derek must have noticed that Casey wasn’t laughing it off. He put his fork down, reaching his hand out to her. “I’m sorry about that. I was pent up and frustrated. It’s not an excuse but an explanation. If I see her again, you’ll be right there with me,” he promised. 

“ _Really_?” Casey asked, surprised to hear it. 

“You have nothing to worry about. And I won’t give you reasons to,” he explained, easily. 

Casey's heart fluttered in her chest. He had grown so much. He was so damn reassuring she almost felt bad for throwing a fit about it. “Thank you,” she murmured in response.

* * *

It was a rainy Sunday day in April. The skies were gray and dark. Everything was cold and wet. But Derek didn't mind it so much from where he sat in the driver seat of his black SUV. The windshield wipers were going at half speed, swishing along, the rhythmic sound so melodic, it was pulling his already sleepy eyes under. But that was fine, he could nap, he had an hour. He was parked, waiting for Casey to finish her session.  
  
It was their Sunday routine. He would wake up early, drive over, pick her up. Normally with breakfast and coffee in hand, if he woke up early enough. He’d take her to her session and stay in the car for the hour. Casey told him that he didn't need to, but he wanted to. He knew how emotionally intense those sessions could get, and he wanted to be there as soon as she was out.  
  
And as his eyes peeked to the dashboard, 10 am approaching he knew she’d be out any minute. He sat up straight, whipped the sleep out of his eyes, and popped a mint into his mouth. The bitter taste of coffee still lingered thick on his tongue.  
  
And just like clockwork, he spotted her. Casey ran out of the building and straight into the car, avoiding the rain as much as possible. Her bright yellow rain boots squeaking together as she maneuvered herself into her seat, slamming the passenger side door quickly. “Hey,” she breathed out. And finally, when all her belongings were safe, she reached over the center console and pressed a sweet kiss against his lips. His reward for waiting.  
  
“Hmm...Minty,” she replied, licking her lips.  
  
“Hey,” he replied with a sly lazy smile. When he was sleepy and Casey was around, he turned into this different version of himself. The version that wanted her wrapped in his arms, she had on his chest, droll on his chest, and sleepy mumbles. And rainy mornings like that were making him ache for it. But they had a busy day ahead, he had to snap out of it.  
  
“So, how was it?” he asked like he did every Sunday. He kept his eyes on her, not quite ready to pull out yet.  
  
“Fine,” she nodded. Never giving him any more detail. He would always wonder what she talked about during her sessions. But she would never tell. As long as she was healthy, mentally, and physically, he wouldn't push beyond that.  
  
Derek nodded, accepting the lame answer. “So, are we visiting Mike today?” he asked, turning the car engine on. Depending on how therapy went, she’d sometimes want to visit for a while. To talk him through whatever she had learned that day. It was private, just between her and him. Derek always waited in the car.  
  
Casey peeked out the windshield, trying to analyze the clouds like a weather woman. “No, I think I'm ok today. It's too rainy and I don't have much left to say,” she admitted.  
  
Derek stiffened. He took a breath, debating whether to acknowledge what she said, and decided not “Alright,” he agreed, always tip-toeing a close line when it came to Mike. He had taken a grief counseling class to learn how to better help Casey and Luca. He learned when to push and when to let go.  
  
“Groceries?” he asked, knowing it was part of their Sunday routine. And After groceries was brunch with the kids. Their weekly bit of family bonding they had implemented.  
  


* * *

  
Dating Derek the second time around was different for a million. She dated a boy in college. And she was dating a man now. Before they were sneaking around, hiding. This time, they were out and in the open. And although they tried to tone down the PDA with the kids, when they were alone it was a whole different ball field. Derek didn't hesitate to let the world know she was his. And she didn't mind being shown off.  
  
Casey laughed thinking about how Derek wouldn’t even hug her when they were 16. But now, his hands were constantly on her, even in the most innocent of ways. His hand in hers. Or a hand on her lower back as they walked. Her arm over her shoulder. He was constantly pressing innocent kisses everywhere. It was like he was trying to make up for a lost time, and Casey loved it. She felt adored.  
  
Derek had a work trip to Florida and brought Casey along for a cute little weekend getaway. Their first one as a couple. Casey was beyond excited for some quality time with Derek on a beach. But first, Derek had to work. They walked hand in hand into the Amalie Arena where Derek used to play with the Tampa Bay Lighting. She didn't know what it was like when he was in the NHL, not really. But even being retired for all those years, he still received so much respect in his field. Eyes were on him as soon as he entered the place. Casey often forgot that Derek had won a Stanley Cup during his short career. He was a big deal. She wished he could still play. His stupid knee ruined things for him.  
  
“Derek, good to see you,” Adam, the coach greeted them once inside.  
  
“Good to be back, Adam,” Derek smiled, shaking the man’s hand. Being there must have triggered some memories for him. Maybe not the best ones, since they weren’t talking then. Casey cringed under the realization, squeezing Derek's hand in hers, reassuring him.  
  
“This is my better half, Casey. I wanted to show her what I do when I'm out of town. I hope you don't mind.”  
  
“No, never. Let’s go inside so you can meet the boys.”  
  


* * *

Casey was in _awe_ of Derek. She had seen him work before, writing detailed reports for management. But seeing it in person, watching Derek while he watched the team, seeing the notes he made, it was something else. He picked up on tiny little details Casey would never notice in a player. He had an insane eye for those things and she finally understood while coaches flew him out to consult as often as they did.  
  
“I hope this isn't too boring,” Derek murmured as his fingers flew across the keyboard, making all sorts of notes as the boys on the ice took a break. Derek had tried to tell her to go shopping or have a spa day. But she wanted to see that side of him.  
  
“No. This is amazing,” she promised to squeeze his arm. “I miss hockey,” she admitted.  
  
Derek turned to her, eyeing her with a smirk on his lips she wanted nothing more than to kiss-off. He looked like she just put the sun in the sky for him. But he was working, so she had to be professional.  
  
" _You’re_ amazing” he clarified, pressing a kiss to her cheek innocently. “Now stop being so distracting with the ‘come fuck me’ eyes. I'm _working_ ,” he whispered, his lips pressed to her ear.  
  
Casey scoffed, flushing bright red. Although she was embarrassed by the comment, she was glad to be on the receiving end of it. Because they were finally in a place where they could simply _be_. And if she wanted to stare at him like he was the last man on earth, she would because she _could_. Finally.

* * *

After work, they went out to dinner. Nothing fancy. Just a quick bite to each by the water. They ate as the sun set and it turned out to be a pretty romantic evening. By the time they got back to the hotel, nothing particularly sexy happened. Derek was exhausted. His eyes fluttered closed the second he hit the bed. Casey wasn't going to wake him. They had an early flight, and he had gone straight to work when they landed. He needed his rest.  
  
Casey took advantage of the time and took a shower. He was still asleep when she popped out of the bathroom in the white fluffy robe. Although she was tired, she wasn't ready to fall asleep. Casey stared at Derek fast asleep. She wasn't sure how she had gotten so lucky, but she was. She stepped out onto the balcony to make a call.  
  
“Hey you,” she smiled into the phone.  
  
“Hey mom,” came the teenager's deeper voice. Casey remembered when it went from squeezy and crackly to a deep baritone. Watching him turn into a man was one of the sweetest parts of her motherhood.  
  
“Burn down the house yet?” she teased.  
  
“Not yet. What are you up to?”  
  
“We just got back from dinner. Derek's asleep. So I'm sitting on the balcony listening to the waves crash,” she explained. “I miss you.”  
  
“No you don't,” he countered easily as if he expected the comment. “It's barely been a day mom. You've gone there weeks without me. You don’t miss me yet. You just feel guilty.”  
  
“ _Guilty_ ?” she asked, sounding offended.  
  
“Guilty. Because for the first time in a long time, you're happy. And you shouldn’t be a mom. You deserve to be happy. He would want this for you,” Luca promised.  
  
Hearing her son, the mirror image of his father, tell her that it was _ok_ to be happy… that it was ok to move on, it was like Mike himself was letting her know. A little piece of her heart healed with those words, and Luca would never even know.  
  
“ _Shit_ ,” she whispered, feeling caught. She turned away from the view and looked inside to her new favorite view, Derek peacefully sleeping. Even his snoring didn't even bother her. She was a goner.  
  
“When did you get to be so smart, huh?” she asked softly, deflecting.  
  
“About the same time you started cursing,” he countered and she could just _hear_ the smirk on his mouth.  
  
“He's a bad influence, huh?” Casey chuckled in response.  
  
“Nah, he’s alright,” Luca replied with no humor. “Go back inside, mom. Go be happy. I'll see you in a few days, ok?”  
  
“Ok, baby.”  
  
Casey tipped toes back inside, slipping under the blankets. She curled up against Derek, her head laying on his chest. He curled an arm around her instinctively, mumbling some incoherent words. Casey just smiled against his skin, letting the love sink in.

* * *

In June, after classes ended for the year the family went on a vacation to Hawaii. The sun, the beach, the food, it was all picturesque. Till they got to the beach and Casey finally got to see Derek surf… 

“Wow...you kinda suck,” Casey frowned, sounding genuinely disappointed in the revelation.  
  
“Ouch!” Derek replied, making his way over to her beach blanket, falling into the spot next to her. “That hurts, Case!”  
  
Amused by the exchange, Sky looked up from her book. “ _Oh…_ you thought he was good?” Sky asked, confused. “That’s funny.”  
  
“I hate you all!” Derek reminded his family as they all watched Luca attempt to do better in the waves.

* * *

Summer came and went in a blink of the eye. And suddenly the kids were back to school and it was fall again the leaves were orange. The pumpkins were carved and the Halloween party was planned. It was their anniversary of sorts. A year had passed since Derek kissed vampire Casey on the dance floor and got the ball rolling.

For the party, Derek Dressed up a batman, a nod to that terrible Halloween they shared his first year back. And Casey dressed up a Catwoman. Casey in black latex... Derek really had to try to behave himself. But his hands were magnets being pulled to her body. He wanted to be everywhere all at once.

They kissed at midnight like it was new year's eve because to them, it kind of was. Derek did his best to keep his hands on Casey's hips, even though her latex covered ass kept calling to him. But all in all, everything was fucking perfect.

* * *

They decided to move in finally together after both kids were off at college. They even brought a house together, one with enough space for Sky and Luca when they came home from school. 

Living with Casey again was a dream. Especially when they were sharing a bedroom for the first time. Everything about the transition was smooth and amazing… but Derek missed his kid. 

He hadn’t seen Sky in three weeks. So when he was tossing and turning all night, he gave up on the idea of sleep. He pressed a kiss on Casey’s cheek and left a note on her bedside. It was just past 5 am when he got in his car and drove the four hours to Sky’s campus to meet her for breakfast. It was Friday and he knew she didn't have any classes scheduled. It was a gamble to just show up, but it was one he easily took.  
  
Sky didn't sound the least bit surprised when she woke up to a phone call from Derek telling her to get dressed and that he was outside. It wasn't even 10 am but they were settled in for Sky's favorite place, ready to gorge themselves on breakfast foods. Breakfast quickly became their thing. Casey and Luca never joined in Daddy-Daughter breakfast. It was _their_ kind of counseling.

“You're wearing your glasses,” Derek pointed out with a half-smile. Sky had started wearing contacts when she graduated High School, but it made him miss her extensive glasses collection.

Sky adjusted her clear framed hipster-looking glasses on her face. “Yeah, it's early. Didn't want to poke myself in the eye,” she shrugged.

“It's still so weird seeing you in my old stuff,” he smiled looking at his daughter wearing his faded old LA Kings black hoodie. It was practically vintage and as old as she was.

Sky grinned a toothy smile at her dad. “You should have seen me the other night. When I was at the game. I sent you a picture, remember?” she asked me licking her fingers clean of the stickiness leftover from her strawberries.

Derek nodded. She sent him a picture of her on a date with her girlfriend. The girlfriend he had _yet_ to officially meet, but he was giving her a few more weeks before he started hounding her about that. She hasn't made a big speech about it or anything, she didn't have to, she just slipped it into the conversation. “So, I'm seeing this girl.” Derek didn't question it. Whether his daughter was gay or bi or queer, he didn’t care. As long as she was safe and happy, he was good. (But he, really, _really_ wanted to meet this girl. He had been annoying Casey about it for weeks, thinking she had the inside scoop.)

“So, I was wearing your jersey, and this _jerk_ wanted to try to school _me_ on _your_ stats!” Sky explained, her eyes getting all wild like they did when she was going off on a rant. 

“Uh oh,” Derek smirked, leaning back in his seat. His daughter may not have liked hockey growing up. But as she got older, she drove headfirst into it, studying with Derek’s career. She knew his stats better than he did. Hell, she used his numbers and statistics for a school project. 

“Yeah. I think Heather caught some of it on video. I'll send it to you. I was going _off_.” 

“Which jersey were you wearing?” he asked, It was a stupid question. He knew the answer.

“The King’s one!”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Honey, you do know I played for other teams right?” Of course, she knew.

Sky just shook her head. “You won a Stanley Cup with The Kings. You moved to California and had me because of The Kings!” she argued. 

“ _Oh_ , so your mother had _nothing_ to do with that?” he teased.

“Ignoring you!” Sky decided. Over the years Sky formed a relationship with her mother. Nothing deep but it was something. “Dad the Leafs might be your team. But The Kings were _my_ childhood. It took me a long time to come around to it but it was true. Kinda wish I could have seen you play. And you know… _actually_ , remember,” she frowned. 

She was just a kid when he got hurt and was forced to retire. Although she went to many of his games when she was younger, she didn't remember any of it. Sky became his number one fan. Even beating out Marti and Casey. He loved every second of it.  
  
“Trust me there's enough footage to last you a lifetime if you want to watch me play.”  
  
“I do,” she promised. “So! Enough about that. Want to tell me why you just dropped by, unannounced?” Sky finally asked, a hint of mischief in her eyes.  
  
“Missed you,” Derek shrugged. He was still getting used to not having her home with him. He cried like a fucking baby when he dropped her off at college freshmen year semester. She was his little girl and she was growing up far too fast.  
  
“You could have told me. We spoke last night!” she argued.  
  
Derek shook his head. “Couldn’t sleep. Figured it was a sign,” he decided, taking a long sip of his coffee mug.  
  
“Well, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to talk to you about something.”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“You up for some shopping after this?” she smirked.  
  
“What?” Sky wasn't a ‘let’s go shopping daddy’ kind of girl. She shopped, yes. But normally with friends or Casey. Never him. “What do you need?” he asked because there had to be a reason she waited for him to stop by for this purchase. Maybe it was a new car? The prince, although completely refurbished a few years back, could be dying on her.  
  
“Well, I was thinking, it's about time we get Casey a ring,” she grinned from over her steaming coffee mug.  
  
 _We_? A **Ring**? “What?” The sentence simply did not register.  
  
Sky rolled her eyes. “Yes, dad. A ring. Ever heard of it? A thing you give a woman when you want to spend forever together.”  
  
Casey already wore a ring. On her right hand, her wedding band. She wore it in honor of Mike. Did she need another one? From Derek?  
  
“Sky,” Derek groaned, slouching into his seat. Sure, he had thought about it, but he wasn't sold on the idea.  
  
“Come on dad. You’ve been in love with the same person for over twenty years. And you're still scared of commitment?”  
  
“I'm not scared of commitment. She's it. You know it. She knows it. Everyone knows it!”  
  
“So, what's the problem?”  
  
“Hun, she’s had all of it already. The romantic proposal. The big puffy white dress. The first dance. The big wedding. I...I don't want to compete with that. I want to tarnish those memories for her. To force her to make new ones with me. That's just not fair,” he admitted out loud for the first time. That's the thing about their breakfast dates, they got heavy.  
  
“I get that. I do. But… marrying her doesn't mean tarnishing memories. You could just do it at the courthouse wedding. Me and Luca could be your witnesses. Just us. No fuss! I think it would make her a happy dad. Don’t you think you're ready to be someone's husband?”  
  
Derek chewed on his bottom lip, contemplating it. Casey already referred to him as her husband. It was the cutest thing every time he caught her doing it. “It's just easier sometimes,” she explained with bright red cheeks. He did the same, casually introducing her as his wife. It just wasn’t technically legal.  
  
“Sky… _Luca_ ,” Derek argued. Although he had come around, Luca still had feelings about his father, rightfully so. And Derek didn't blame him. Not at all. He wanted to respect Luca in every way possible.  
  
“Dad, Luca’s fine with it. Look what he sent me,” Sky argued, pulling up her phone, scrolling a bit before presenting it to Derek. It was a text conversation between the kids. Lucas’s name was saved in her phone as **Shit Head**. _Charming_. There was one message that stood out from Luca.  
  
 **So..** . **when is your dad going to marry my mom???**  
  
That message made Derek's heart race. He looked up from the phone to his daughter who was sporting his signature ‘I told you so’ smirk. “ _So_ ?”  
  
“So, did you have a ring in mind?”

* * *

Derek didn't expect to find himself at Toronto University that evening, but there he was, drinking a beer with Luca watching some game on TV. But Derek wasn't watching. He knew it couldn't propose to Casey without the kid’s blessing. No matter what Sky said.  
  
Finally, after all the small talk was exhausted, Derek put his cards on the table. “Lu... I want to ask her to marry me. But I need to know you’re ok with it first.”  
  
Luca was quiet for a while, not saying a word. The question did not surprise him, that much was clear. Derek didn't push, he let the words simmer in the air, marinating in Luca’s mind. Instead of a yes or no answer, Luca said something else. Something Derek wasn't expecting to hear. “Did she ever tell you that dad mentioned you in his will?”  
  
Derek stiffened. He had no idea. “No.”  
  
Luca smiled softly at the beer in his hands. “Because of the nature of his job he had to write a will at the beginning of his career. I'm not sure _when_ he wrote it exactly but… In the section for mom, he said that if anything were to happen to him, he knew she’d be ok. He knew _you’d_ take care of her.” Luca smiled up at Derek, glassiness in his eyes.  
  
A punch in the gut. Derek and Mike had always understood each other. It's why they couldn't get along. Because of her. Because they both loved her. ”I...I didn't know,” Derek murmured.  
  
Luca nodded, understanding. “Mom didn't want to tell you. She didn't want you to feel obligated to be there, you know. But… you _were_ there. So yeah. If any man in this world deserves my mom… it's you, Derek Venturi. Of course, you have my blessing. You’ve had it for years now.”

* * *

Derek got home real late. So late that Casey had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him with their massive black dog onyx curled up at her feet. When the kids went away to college, the house was far too quiet, they caved and got a dog together. They knew there wouldn't be any kids in their future...  
  
“What time is it?” Casey asked, sluggish, sitting up  
  
“It's late. I'm sorry. I had to make a quick detour and go see Lu,” he explained.  
  
“What? Why? Did something happen?” she asked, alert. Ready to run.  
  
“Nothings wrong,” he promised, brushing her hair back. “You look beautiful,” he told her, smiling because she looked like a mess, with pillow marks on her cheek. But still, to him, she was a goddess.   
  
“Is everything ok?”  
  
“It's perfect,” he promised, offering his hand. “Come on, let's go to bed.”

Casey nodded, taking his hand. 

“I think we should get away next weekend,” he murmured as they made their way up the stairs to their bedroom. Onyx right behind them.  
  
“That would be nice,” Casey sighed happily.

* * *

  
The next day Derek booked them a long weekend to New York and surprised Casey with it. She beamed excitedly for their much needed weekend getaway.  
  
“Do you remember when we were here? Your dad got us tickets to the Rangers game at Madison Square Garden. And we walked around this place aimlessly?” he asked softly, reminiscing. He had planned a picnic in Central Park. It wasn't fancy or anything. Just a couple of sandwiches, a blanket, and a cheap bottle of champagne, but it was perfect.  
  
“Yeah cause he felt bad for ditching us last minute. Worked out for us, huh?” she grinned up at home from where she laid, her head in his lap.  
  
“He must have spent a fortune on those seats,” Derek guessed. 

“New York used to be my favorite memory of us,” she admitted softly. 

He understood why. They had been so free in New York... Open and in love. Acting like tourists kissing at the top of the Empire State Building. The works. They had gone back a few times after that. But never alone.  
  
“And now?” he asked, a hand brushing her hair out her face. Her grays had started to come in, she freaked out over each one and promptly made an appointment at the hairdresser to rectify it. Derek didn't mind. He liked the evidence of them growing old, _together_.  
  
“My favorite memory of us…” she repeated, her thoughts buffering. “I don't know. Something with the kids maybe? Graduation? Or Hawaii! When we hiked up that mountain and saw the sunrise above the clouds?” she offered, like there was a right answer.  
  
Derek smiled with her remembered each and every moment together. “You know, you once said you left a part of you here. In New York. And... I think I may have found it,” he added with a sly little smirk.  
  
“What?” she asked, clearly confused.  
  
Derek pulled something out of his pocket before dangling a gold chain above Casey. A beautiful vintage style ring dangled on the end of it. An engagement ring. Casey squinted up at him confused, till she realized what was happening. She gasped, covering her mouth, looking up at him in awe. Like she never saw it coming.  
  
“Case, I’ve loved you since I was sixteen years old….I’ve wanted you for so long, I don't remember what it's like not to,” he chuckled.  
  
Tears welled up in her eyes. “You don't have to,” her voice cracked as she promised him.  
  
Derek licked his lips. “I know we haven't spoken about our future much... We were so focused on getting the kids past highschool and off to college. But I thought…Maybe _now_ … Maybe you'd want this…I gave you my youth, Princess. Let me give you my future too,” he finished.

“ _Derek_ ,” she cried softly, the tears spilling down her cheeks.  
  
“I would have gotten down on one knee, bu-”  
  
“No!” Casey cut him off, sitting up quickly, ready to tackle him if he tried. “You need to stay off that goddamn knee, Venturi!” she threatened.

“So, is that a yes?” he asked, chuckling, cupping her wet face with his free hand. 

“Yes, Derek Venturi. I will give you all my day,” she promised, pressing a tear-soaked kiss across his lips. 

They remained like that for a while. Derek clutching her in his arms tasting every bit she offered. Casey's hand slid in his hair. They were like teenagers finally alone together. It never stopped. The wanting of each other. Even after all those years. Eventually, they pulled away. A mess of tears and lipstick, Derek pulled Casey's hand into his, slipping the ring onto her finger where it belonged. 

“It's perfect,” she promised to wiggle her fingers up the sky, seeing her ring glitter in the sunlight. “You did so good,” she added, pleasantly surprised.  
  
Derek rolled his eyes. “Sky,” he explained as if there were any other reasons.  
  
“Well, _obviously_ ,” she teased, tears still caught her in eyelashes.  
  
And then they called the kids.  
  


* * *

 **A few months later…**  
  
The kids came home for the weekend. They all got dressed up for the ceremony. It was a secret between the four of them, no one else. And then, in a courthouse in Toronto, Casey and Derek stood, holding hands and smiling like idiots. Casey in a cute white dress, white tulips in her hands. Derek in a simple suit. Their kids beside them as witnesses. They recite the generic vows, in sickness and in health, and just like that, they were declared husband and wife.  
  
And then, twenty-three years later, Derek finally got to kiss his _wife_.  
  
The rest of the family would be pissed when they found out about the secret ceremony. They (Marti) would demand a second ceremony. And that would be fine. But in that moment, it was just them. Their little miss-matched family of four. And it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot to say:
> 
> In case you didn't know. I wrote an entire story called LA kings (LDR Dasey if you want to read it!) So, I can officially say that It's my headcanon at this point that Derek plays for the LA Kings. You will probably keep seeing that across all my stories because, reasons.
> 
> And to confirm- our girl Sky Alex(andria) Venturi is a bisexual queen we deserved. 
> 
> Ironically, Life with Luca had very little to do with Luca! But more about how Life with Luca changed Derek's life.


End file.
